Abstraction In Unred

This is why I love being alive What's left to tell?

[angelbeast]

just got done really Having Therapy immediately went to make a post about it and out of sheer muscle memory I logged into this blog that i havent used in 4+ years 

[angelbeast]

if literally anyone still follows me & remembers who i am & cares, i made another blog (message me) AND i have a weekly tinyletter that i care about very much 

[eatingpoetry]

To the Angelbeast

For Arthur Russell

All that glitters isn’t music.

Once, hidden in tall grass, I tossed fistfuls of dirt into the air: doe after doe of leaping.

You said it was nothing but a trick of the light. Gold curves. Gold scarves.

Am I not your animal?

You’d wait in the orchard for hours to watch a deer break from the shadows.

You said it was like lifting a cello out of its black case.

By Eduardo C. Corral.

[angelbeast]

update:

i've been on an impromptu hiatus from social media for the past 4 months, which felt right & cleansing in ways that make me sound like a baby-boomer (yikes !). i’m at a point in my life where i feel very private, which means i won’t be around here much, and i’m working on cultivating connection (honest, vulnerable, cry-in-each-other’s-arms kind of connection) with people in my physical life. i like tumblr a lot as a platform–it seems the least performative to me–but not all the people i want to be vulnerable with are here !! i’m not sure if this means i’m gone forever, but i don’t think i’ll be back in the short term. if you’d like to stay in contact with me, send me a message and i’ll make sure it happens.  

[angelbeast]

there is terror in absolution // time for me to leave social media? perhaps

[angelbeast]

I am 100% ready to buy a "female pain" t-shirt but alas they are sold out? Are you planning on restocking?

Both sets of t-shirts are sold out! I just moved into college so things are a little hectic but once I get settled in i’ll look further into screen printing :) 

[angelbeast]

Who wrote "the expectation of sacrifice promotes female pain"? <3

me. I wrote that

[angelbeast]

two more hours in the bed of my childhood. I can't sleep

[raysofcinema]

STALKER (1979)

Directed by Andrei Tarkovsky

Cinematography by Alexander Knyazhinsky

[nevver]

James Springall

[st-pam]

Germany & The Netherlands from the sky Pen, 2016

[nevver]

Jenny Holzer

[angelbeast]

in the crux of my chest i have found empathy. to be softened so by an emotion is overwhelming, is beautiful, is incredibly human. I am speechless, I want to foster it. and i know that is what i have been doing. on mornings like this I feel bottomless–not so much like a bucket with a hole in it but more like a cup pouring water endlessly. something about the love i take and give, about the feeling of wholeness i receive from each instance of intimacy and bring with me to the next. i want to say yes. i am saying yes–to this, to this, to myself. 

[angelbeast]

Hey, will you be making any more shirts, I really want one!?

I don't think I'll be making more shirts soon (going off to college!) but if I do, I'll make sure to post about it :)

[coffeepeople]

How wild is it that every version of you probably exists still, somewhere, in someone’s memory? The messy you, crying on the floor exists still in your mind. The happy, sun-soaked you, exists in your best friend’s memory. No part of you has died, all parts of us exist always, simultaneously and hidden. 

[blueglowdistress]

“Blushes” - Wolfgang Tillmans

[angelbeast]

im mad because i sometimes feel like i am a more mature person than my mother but im also sad because i see where she’s coming from and i feel her pain