Use Your Snack, Then Eat Handsanitizer

People assume that I am stupid, simply because I am dumb…. Wait.. no

[angievoss2]

I was feeding my dog, Kiki this morning, and I was thinking about telling her to eat, but what I actually almost did was tell her to go pee in Russian

[angievoss2]

Kid Pig Rib

I told a lie

I told her she could fly

I told a lie

Oh, aren’t I sly?

I told a lie

I told a lie

But, I can’t tell ya why

I told her she could fly

I’ll see her end

Her, to the grave I’ll send

I saw her end

She thought me a friend

That’s how I saw her end

I told a fib

I said it was “pig, not human rib”

But, I told a fib

I told a fib

I said “I’ve never sinned”

I told a fib

“Your child, I never skinned”

I told a fib

I said it was “pig, not kid rib”

I told a lie

Don’t ask why

I told a lie

She couldn’t really fly

I told a fib

I made dinner with a kid

[angievoss2]

[angievoss2]

Does anyone else ever get the urge to check under their bed because they worry that a murderous chimpanzee will kill them in their sleep?

….Is it just me?

[angievoss2]

I fucking LOVE Jon Stewart, he always makes my day better, I want more men like him. Like, he’s funny, smart, on the right side of history, and I think he’s annoyingly attractive

Please say I’m not alone here

[angievoss2]

I saw two dead mice under the staircase closest, and now I’m sad

[angievoss2]

[angievoss2]

Tumblr, a magical online platform, where people care about two, maybe three things. Those things being:

1. Politics

2. Fake Politics

Maybe. Cats

3. Pretty people

Things. Dogs

[angievoss2]

[angievoss2]

Moorka

[angievoss2]

You are legally required to love her, I will sue you if you don’t worship this high quality doggo

[angievoss2]

This is a very cute child

[angievoss2]

Show me a crush you refuse to hear someone out about, or a crush people refuse to hear you out for

[angievoss2]

[angievoss2]

[angievoss2]

[angievoss2]

Hey, are ya lookin’ for a jobs!? Well, too… too bad! It’s a scam, you pressed on a link, and… you’ve done been scammed! If you job a look, you’ll scam a find, and, poor a situation financial….

Now what used to be $1000 is now &6$@9?

Sad, a very me if ask you that’s