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Got a little bit too obsessed with Friends lately because it’s back on Netflix. The downside of it is when you read through the community forum and you come across the most horrid, most misogynistic take ever. It’s amazing how the show is so old, and yet it is still a thousand times more feminist than the audience today.

It’s so lovely that in JP manga/anime, whenever a woman is a masochist, it’s always revealed after she was already pushed around by other guys in the story like a doll 🙃 The story never establish her as a masochist in the beginning. It’s always her taking the abuse passively, initiated by the guys, and THEN the implication that she is a masochist. “See? She likes the abuse! Anyway, let’s continue to have her passively stand there as the other guys abuse her. Because she likes it 🙃”

Meanwhile, a masochistic guy is fully aware his desire from the start. He actively seeks it, rather aggressively even. He freaks people out. Other people yell at him, calling him a pervert, but that never deters him. He keeps taking up spaces and be loud and proud about his desire.

The masochistic woman gives men power. She goes along with whatever he likes, however he wants to do it, without a thought of her own. He is the focus in this play, not her. On the other hand, the masochistic man takes power away from his assailants. They want to intimidate him, but it never works on this guy. He doesn’t care about who beats him, but more about how HE feels. If you’re using violence on him, you’re just working towards his pleasure, his benefits. You might as well just a faceless person, because all he cares about is the so called pain that fuels his desire.

This is why I have such a huge problem with online radfem who thinks BDSM is merely replicating the dynamic between a man and a woman, that being sub/masochist is “mimicking women” and being dom/sadistic is “mimicking men”. The difference in gender in JP anime/manga’s portrayal of masochism shows that BDSM is not about replicating the role of a man and a woman as they claim. The masochistic men in those stories are definitely not mimicking women’s gender role when they are being so loud and obnoxious and intrusive of other people’s boundaries. Same goes for submissive men in the west. I have heard and seen many accounts where sub men use this dynamic to make women do most of the work, where they put women on a pedestal without ever considering her humanity, where they subject women to their male gaze (that skimpy, uncomfortable femdom outfit that is associated to dom women but not to dom men). These men take the submissive, masochistic role that is supposedly “the woman’s role” (framed by online radfem) and make it as their own, without them losing any power. It shows that patriarchy is more complex than just a “game of dominance”, and that just because you are being dominated by someone doesn’t mean you play the role of a woman and the other person the role of a man. It also doesn’t mean you’re replicating the “game of dominance”, patriarchal dynamic, because look at how these men live! Do sub/masochist men look like they lose any of their power and agency when being dominated?

I do think that on a collective scale, the fact that so many women are attracted to the role of being sub/masochist and men to dom/sadist points to a very obvious problem in society, but these online radfem look at the issue through a very individualistic lens. They attack lone individuals of “playing the role of men/women”, never bothering to examine why that role was there in the first place. Why is being dom associated with men and sub with women? Didn’t it come from the age-old belief that men are dominant and women can only be submissive? If we base our ideology on the association only, aren’t we complying to the same system that subjugates women in the first place?

The assumption that anyone who is a sub plays the role of a woman and anyone dom plays a man is honestly the most cis straight, gender bioessentialist take ever, and it’s really something that only a community of predominantly straight cis (and mostly white) people would make. Does anyone in that community take a step back and hear how ridiculous and conservative it sounds that “dom = man” and “sub = woman”, and if you’re a woman who wants to dom, you’re just playing as the man? Sure, a dress is associated with women, so I guess a man wearing a dress just wants to be a woman, isn’t it? Can’t these people understand that certain things are neutral at its core and they only have gendered meanings because society attach meanings to those things? Like you guys know that association can only reflect the current society, it’s not the ultimate unchanging truth, right? Women can both be submissive and dominant, and anywhere in between. Even with the bounds of society, dominant women has always existed. Same goes for submissive men. Dominant vs submissive isn’t the inherent dynamic of patriarchy.

#i heard many people talking about the pipeline from a radfem to conservatism #i did hear their point at the time but i was too much in denial to admit it #btw i swear the whole thing abt patriarchy game of dominance bull def comes from ppl who glaze matriarchy as the equal ‘nurturing’ society #like bruh don’t u feel sus that a word normally used to force women into a certain role is now used to describe a women led society??#how is patriarchy dominant but matriarchy soft and ‘nurturing’#aren’t you confirming some age old stereotype of men vs women here???

Say whatever about the villainess genre but apparently it is the height of modern feminism now 🙃 I have so much beef with the fact that their “evil” girlboss MC is basically just the embodiment of capitalism, but I guess it’s the best we can get in this current social climate. At least these stories allow women to be “evil”, unlike whatever is going on with the audience nowadays. I usually steer far away from media which forces women to be “good”, which led me to only see the villainess genre and think that it’s the new norm nowadays. How wrong I was. Aside from that genre, women are still only allowed to be the good virtuous saintess. The degree in which people persecute FMC for breathing wrong is straight up disgusting. How much longer are we gonna keep women locked up in the tiny little box of the idealized good, nice, kind, virtuous girl? It gets worse nowadays because everyone wants everyone to be the paragon of political correctness. I say “everyone” but it’s always women who gets the shortest end of the stick, isn’t it? 🙃

#as always women are gonna be persecuted for being wrong much much more than men #this is why western ppl should shut tf up when they talk about feminist issues in east asia countries #by western i mean american 🙃#shitty fucking country with its shitty fucking culture #it’s disgusting how they act like these countries are sooooo backward #and then turn around to judge women by their bible-inspired moral convention #how can you say you vouch for women and yet you cannot hold space for flawed women #at least east asian media still hold some space for women who are ‘wrong’#western media is all about ‘healthy’ ‘non-toxic’ ‘politically correct’#yea because human works that way 🙃#also it’s fucking disgusting how social justice is just the new ‘good girl’ nowadays #it’s more about virtue signaling than actually caring about the well being of people like it promises #not like i care about the well being of everyone #men can die for all i care

Every time white people write unlikable characters, they really stick to their definition of UNLIKABLE characters 🙃

(white people or just western people in general.)

I often love “evil” female characters whom people crucify for the most random bullshit, but “flawed” and “unlikable” characters written by the west just has a way to really tap into my inner misogynistic soul 🙃 Mostly because these characters are not really “flawed” per se but they are shitty in a very socially acceptable way. It’s like one of those “well-intentioned” male-centered friends who pushes you towards an uninteresting uninspired and a lot of times straight up dangerous man because she “just wants you to find (heteronormative) love!”, and you can’t fault her because “there is nothing wrong with wanting/encouraging (straight) love!” The biggest red flag about these “flawed” and “unlikable” female characters is that the crowds don’t really hate her, and her defenders can still justify her actions according to the black and white moral (misogynistic) convention. Like how Penelope in Bridgerton is so totally justifiable for throwing Marina Thompson (a woc who is less privileged than her btw 🙃) under the bus, because Marina has the AUDACITY to baby trap a poor innocent young man 🥺 It doesn’t matter that Marina has no other choice. It doesn’t matter that Collin is actually a very privileged man whose harm in this affair is nowhere near as detrimental to him as it is to her if things don’t work out for her. I often hate it when people compare between the two suffering to invalidate the “lesser” ones, but it is seriously suspicious when society seems to remember this the most when it comes to a man’s suffering vs a woman’s. Of course that “just because he’s rich and privileged doesn’t mean he deserves a *gasp* loveless marriage!” (Meanwhile she may be ostracized from society and face poverty - both for her and her unborn child 🙃) I guess the real red flag comes from the fact that the writers themselves are misogynistic as hell, because Bridgerton is not exactly the symbol of feminism (or racial equality).

I think the biggest reason why these “flawed” and “unlikable” female characters are literally unlikable is because the authors don’t truly want these characters to be “wrong”. There is always this flavor of self-righteousness in western writing that is very icky to read. It seeks to justify these characters, saying that she’s not the “wrong” one in this narrative. She’s human and flawed! She’s cool and unapologetic! (Big doubt on the “unapologetic”.) YOU’RE the one with a problem for not liking her! It is totally different from Amy from Gone Girl (the only exception that I know of the unlikable unlikable female characters by the west), where the author isn’t afraid to make her “wrong”. The narrative shows her as what she is, manipulative, arrogant, full of prejudices, without trying to justify or glorify to make her palatable to the wide audience. The story still gives a sort of leeway for the audience to decide how they feel instead of shoving a narrative down their throat. (Although why would you not like Amy Dunne… 😒)

#i guess the real evil here is the incessant need to be ‘right’#these people don’t feel comfortable with just being ‘wrong’#it’s probably why these stories don’t have the self awareness and the sort of unapologetic-ness of a very well written unlikable woman #btw my example of penelope isn’t exactly an unlikable character #she’s not written to be unlikable she’s more written to be sort of ‘flawed’#but i still think her case still applies to many other unlikable female characters #on a personal note i usually like female characters who are hated by society and/or the author #plus i like char with a very defined personality and these char are usually sort of ‘blank’ n ‘normal’ to retain a lvl of ‘relatability’#which is why they ain’t it for me #on a sort of random note these people’s unlikable female characters are often nothing compared to their unlikable male characters 🙃#which is a huge indicator that they aren’t very sincere about their unlikable female char #penelope is nothing compared to the bitchass piece of work anthony #i hate this fucker with a passion #surprise surprise he’s pardoned by the audience much more than penelope is #there are still people who don’t like penelope for what she’s done #but with anthony suddenly he’s this dreamboat who so definitely didn’t SINGLE HANDEDLY cause the entire half of the 1st season 🙃

Can God strike down and kill men already? Why do these creatures always dish out but cannot take it?

#happy to objectify women #but suddenly becomes the biggest defender for gender ‘equality’ when women do the same to them #‘two wrongs don’t make a right!!! 🤪’#bruh fucking look at the supposedly ‘wrongs’ to see if they are equal in weight #guess what type of logic is used against bullied victims who fight back #also the people who cling onto this shitty idiom are definitely ones that grow up with a bible #(or countries whose values are heavily inspired by the bible)#the incessant need to define right or wrong #the implied need for the so called ‘perfect’ solution #disregarding humanity and empasizing on perfection of virtue #speaking from personal values but disguising it as the ultimate truth #of course it’s mainly used by the whites or people influenced by a white westernized worldview #hmmm i wonder why a quote identifies so much with religion aka a vehicle of patriarchy 🤔#surely it’s not to sell a narrative hmmm 🤔

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