A master list for all my writings. Mainly for Fourth Wing and our rebellion boys. But I do write for other books so make sure to check my request guidelines to see who I am currently writing for.
Garrick just got Dahlia back, only to lose her just as quickly. And to top it all off, his best friend turned Venin in an effort to save them all. Will he get the two people he cares about most back?
I think it's safe to say you probably all want my head after that ending. And I don't blame you. But I hope I can offer some consolidation in the news there is an Onyx Storm arc coming.
But in saying that, it will be a longer process for a few reasons.
Reason 1.
I need to know what happens in book 4 to be able to finish off the Onyx Storm arc. And without book 4, I can't complete it. So, while I would love to dive in and write everything I want to for this next part, I can't. I have a lot of ideas how I want to end Book 3/Onyx Storm, but they are very dependent on what we learn in book 4 and where certain characters are. And obviously however that ends could then dictate if I need to wait for book 5.
Reason 2.
I want to do another read of Onyx Storm before I go too far into it incase some other ideas come to the surface, or ideas I had initially not working as well as I thought.
I was quite lucky with writing the first 3 parts of Black Dahlia that her first year at Basgiath was completely free from the books and I had nothing I needed to follow and just needed to reach a point where I could lead into the books. And then her second and third year, I had already done a reread of the books recently, and with her first year, I already had most of it planned out due to the one shot that inspired the entire thing. Sadly, we are not so lucky with the timing of book 4. But hopefully by the time I get through most of Onyx Storm for Black Dahlia, we will have book 4 and I can have a better idea of how everything will fall into place for her at the end of onyx Storm.
Reason 3.
This is probably the biggest reason of them all. And if any of you followed the instagram I used to use for some of the character stuff I use to post and then converted to a bookstagram, you would already know what I'm about to tell you.
But I am expecting my first baby, and very soon may I add. So, my writing time is going to be a lot more limited than it used to be. But while it will be limited while I adjust to life with a baby/child, I am not giving up on writing or Dahlia. I want to see her through to the end. That's always been a goal of mine when I started posting this 2 years ago. But it may take us a little bit longer to get there than I originally anticipated.
So I guess this is an in general writing/posting update, but as I only really write Black Dahlia now, it felt appropriate to tag everyone on the tag list so you know what is happening and why posts have been a bit all over the place recently, and why they will probably drop off for a bit once they do arrive.
It feels like Athebyne and Resson all over again. I feeling I wish I could shake, but no matter how hard I tried as we flew around our designated area I couldn’t.
”This is different little flower. You are far more prepared than you were the last time you took them on.” Proth tells me.
”I know. But the others aren’t. We trained who we could. But those who stayed behind…”
”They made their choice. Do not worry about them. We just focus on what we can control. Which is us.”
I sigh and nod. He’s right. There is nothing I can do. We made our choice. And they made theirs. And I just had to hope we pulled this off and we could put aside our differences and work together. Something I knew would have been easier before Brennan turned up with the Gryphon riders. But at least we had more numbers now. And numbers we could use to help Garrick.
Garrick who I could see below me, soaring around Basgiath as he looked for the lure boxes with Chradh. The gryphons and their riders were his eyes and feet on the ground, getting to the lures he could not. Meaning we were effectively doubling our man power. But there was no telling how much it would do with the Venin literally on our doorstep already.
Our section so far hadn’t seen any of them, but I could see them approaching, squads already intercepting them. And it would only be a matter of time before we did. I couldn’t deny I was a little annoyed at being placed so far into the middle of everything, knowing I could do more closer to the edge. But I was the only one in my squad and wing who had experience in fighting Wyvern and Venin, even if very limited. And I couldn’t risk them falling because of it. There was also the issue of most of my Wing not being happy with my return. So the chances of them properly listening to me when they needed to, were not high. Something I could tell annoyed Ellie. I could practically feel her fidgeting from here as she flew next to Proth and I.
I knew she wanted to be closer to the action. But more importantly to her, closer to Bodhi. And I couldn’t blame her. I at least had the advantage of Garrick being visible to me most of the time. Bodhi on the other hand, was not near us and did not have the freedom Garrick did with his positioning. And I knew if the roles were reversed, I would be just as fidgety as her.
Slowly the Venin and Wyvern got closer and closer, and I knew it was only a matter of time before they were on us. And in a blink of an eye, they were. But they didn’t come towards us like most of my squad had been expecting. They came from above. I notice the movement out of the corner of my eye, but by the time I turned to see it properly and get Proth to relay the warning, it’s too late. The Wyvern are on one of my fellow riders in seconds, and there’s nothing I can do but watch them get ripped from their dragon before watching the tangle of grey and red hurdle towards the ground. For a moment I’m back in Resson, watching as Liam plumets to his death. I shake the memory from my mind, not needing to deal with a flashback in a time like this.
The group that descends on us are on our boundary between us and another squad. Meaning we can’t all go defend, because I know they’ll be waiting for it. Waiting for me to send us all over there to defend, and leave a gap wide open for them to slip in and take us from behind.
”Tell Ellie to go over and help defend, everyone else on this half stays with me and is only to engage when necessary.” I tell Proth.
I feel his agreement down the bond before relaying the message to the dragons in our squad. I feel the eyes of those who don't agree as they get the message relayed from their dragons. But I was not leaving us open to another attack. One that would risk them getting through. But with the half that are over there, and the other squad, they hold their own better than I expect. But as per usual, it’s not enough. One slips through, shooting past the rest of them in a blink of an eye before it levels out and soars beneath us.
Proth and I go into a dive, following after it as the rest of the riders with me almost remain frozen to the spot, as if not sure what to do now they’re faced with a Wyvern and its Venin rider. But as I follow suit, I soon see why they freeze. There’s more than one Venin on the back of it. And in the blink of an eye… they’re both gone. Proth and I slow down our pursuit as I search around us for them. I instinctively look behind me and breathe a sigh of relief when I see neither of them on the back of Proth.
I yelp in surprise when Proth plummets us into a fast decent. “What in gods name was that for?” I yell at him down the bond.
”Below us!” He yells back.
And my heart stops. Below us, completely unaware to what’s behind him is Garrick and Chradh. With both Venin on Chradh’s back. But in a blink of an eye, there’s only one.
Shit.
I know Proth is screaming at Chradh to warn him, but he must have his shields up, more than likely communicating with the Gryphons and their fliers on where to go. Come on Chradh, open your shield. I wish I had a way to communicate with Garrick. A bond like Proth and I so I can warn him. But I don’t. There’s nothing I can do but yet again be the reckless idiot I was back in Resson.
”You ready little flower?” Proth asks as we get closer, seconds away from timing my jump.
”More than I was back in Resson.” I throw back before raising from my seat and jumping in front of the Venin on Chradh’s back.
Garrick.
We were running out of time. And there were too many damn lure’s to find. Everytime we found one, it felt like Chradh sensed ten more. How many of these damn things had Barlowe placed? Clearly more than we thought, and I was starting to worry I wouldn’t find them all. But I needed to. I needed to get them all, because everyone’s lives relied on it. Relied on us. And while I was used to pressure, this was definitely a lot of it.
Luckily Brennan had managed to get all the gryphons and their fliers here, and I couldn’t deny their help was a saving grace I know I needed. Without it, this would have been impossible. There was no way I could have destroyed these on my own. Especially with some of the spots he’d managed to hide them in.
As Chradh flies around I can’t help but glance to the sky above me in the hopes I can see her. But with the weather and the number of dragons above us, it’s hard to see Dahlia amongst them all. But I know she’s up there above me somewhere, doing her best to keep the Wyvern and Venin away from me. While there aren’t a lot near us currently, I can see a group has broken through and a squad is taking care of it. But I can see a few have already fallen, and it just adds to the pressure of needing to find these lures.
”How many more?” I ask Chradh as he slowly circles an area.
”Hard to say, but I can sense far less now. We will get them all.” He assures me as he moves to another area.
”I bloody hope so.”
I knew the others who were there felt the same, but this felt like Resson, just on a far bigger scale and with less of surprise. I knew losses were going to be had tonight, that was inevitable given what we were up against. But as selfish as it sounded, I needed none of them to be someone I cared about. After what happened earlier tonight with Dahlia, it finally felt like my life was getting somewhat sorted. Well, as sorted as it can be as a dragon rider and a member of a rebellion. She was back in my life; I had no more secrets to keep from her. And it was the best feeling. And I didn’t want to lose it. I needed to hang onto it.
Beneath me I feel Chradh’s body tense, something he only did when something was wrong or not right. Before I get a chance to ask him what’s going on, his voice is booming in my head.
”Behind you!”
I turn, and it’s as if everything stops.
No.
This isn’t real.
What I am seeing cannot be real. But I fucking know it is. Because everything else feels real. The wind rushing past me feels real. The dragon beneath me feels real. And the panic coursing through me is way too fucking real.
I can only see her from behind, but I know that hair anywhere. I’d know that dark chocolate brown hair, pulled up into it’s usual messy ponytail anywhere. Especially when I’d watched her do it. There was no denying who that was. And I know there’s something wrong. Her head is slumped forward, her arm hanging loosely at her side as it barely grips onto a dagger, the other definitely clutching onto something in front of her. And whatever it was, definitely belonged to the white hair that was billowing around with her brown hair.
I push out of my seat, already pulling my sword from my back when Dahlia’s legs give out, sending her to her knee’s on Chradh’s back. If it wasn’t for the hand now placed on her head, she would have definitely fallen off his back. And now my blood really runs cold. Standing in front of her, is something I never wanted to see near her.
There’s no denying the pale skin of the hand that grips onto her head, disappearing under the billowing purple robes, and the bright red eyes that would more than likely forever haunt my dreams as they stare at me. And the way she smirks at me sends a chill down my spine. Especially with the dagger clutched in her hand with blood dripping down it.
”No!” I scream before lunging towards her.
But in a blink of an eye, there is nothing there. No Venin. No Dahlia. Nothing. Nothing is standing there on Chradh’s back. As if it was all a figment of my imagination. And for a moment I think it is. But as a loud roar shakes the air around me, followed by a streak of blue shooting past me that I know doesn’t belong to Sgaeyl, I know it’s not. I’d only heard that sound a few times in my life. But I knew it all too well.
Bodhi really needs to learn there's a time and place. And not to push Garrick when it comes to his girl.
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“So, are we going to talk about this?” Bodhi asks as he leans on against the wall next to my door as Garrick and I leave my room with the biggest grin on his face.
”There’s nothing to talk about Durran.” Garrick growls out as he walks past him, shoulder purposely bumping into Bodhi as he passes, pulling me behind him by his hand.
”That was rude.” Bodhi complains before jogging to catch up with us. “And I think there definitely is. As both of your closest friends-”
”Durran, you’re pushing it.” Garrick warns him.
”Hey, I’ve spent the last few months watching this shitshow go down. I think I’m allowed an explanation.” He throws back.
”I think it’s pretty fucking obvious what’s going on. If you can’t figure it out, then clearly you have issues.” Garrick grumbles.
”I just wanted to hear you say it. Damn, you clearly woke up on the wrong side of the bed.” Bodhi mutters, but not quiet enough.
”Oh will you two stop it!” I warn them both as I stand between the two of them. “This is not the time or place for this. We have other things to fucking worry about.”
”He started it.” Garrick grumbles as he glares at Bodhi.
Gods, it was like nothing had changed. Like as soon as Garrick and I had gotten back together everything had gone back to what it was. And I could safely say that I had not missed this part.
”He did. And if he’s not careful, I’ll be the one to finish it.” I warn before giving Bodhi a pointed look.
Bodhi’s smirk disappears as he narrows his eyes at me. “You wouldn’t dare.”
It was my turn to smirk at my best friend. “So, the other night, when I came by your room, nothing was happening? No one was over?”
”Careful Bodhi, sounds like she’s got something on you.” Garrick says smugly from behind me.
”She’s not the only one.” He tells Garrick. “Two can play at that game.”
My blood runs cold. I know exactly what he’s referring to. And I’d honestly hoped he’d forgotten what Aaric had mentioned that night in the archives. But no. Bodhi clearly had better memory for things he could hold against me than I thought. Especially with this being the ONLY thing he could hold against me. And something I knew Garrick would very much not like. I knew it wouldn’t change anything, but I knew he’d be displeased about it for a little bit. Bodhi’s laugh follows me as I turn and walk down the stairs, heading down to Violet’s room where Bodhi had declared we were needed.
”You two cannot leave me hanging like that.” Garrick grumbles as they follow me.
”We can and will. Right Bodhi?”
I don’t have to turn to know Bodhi is smirking at me. “I mean, I haven’t had this much fun in ages. I forgot what it was like having you two together. So much fun.” He muses.
”What’s so much fun?” A voice I did not want to hear adds as we walk onto the second year floor.
”Oh you know, just talking about things. Things from the past.” Bodhi muses. “You’d know all about that wouldn’t you Aaric?”
”For fucks sake, can someone please tell me what’s going on?” Garrick demands.
”Bodhi slept with Ellie.”
”Dahlia use to date Alic.”
Even though Bodhi and I spoke at exactly the same time, there’s no denying Aaric and Garrick heard us clear as day. Aaric, for the first time in my life, bursts into laughter before walking down the corridor after the other first years he was with. Garrick on the other hand just stares at me.
”And that is my queue to leave with my life still intact.” Bodhi mutters before scampering off like the rat he is.
”You dated Alic?” Garrick asks, voice completely flat and void of anything. Fantastic.
I sigh. “It’s complicated. It was more of a we had a purely physical relationship and then his father saw us around each other a lot and then kind of forced it on us. Honestly, I have Xaden to thank for putting an end to that because I honestly don’t think he would have let it end if he hadn’t died. But I promise it wasn’t what Bodhi is making out to be. Mainly because I didn’t get a chance to explain due to what happened that night and then the whole going to Aretia thing.”
For a moment Garrick just stares at me. I know he probably has conflicting opinions on the information. While I wasn’t really in a relationship with Alic, I was still with him. And honestly, we kind of hated each other. It was purely a physical relationship for the both of us, and it worked for us and what we wanted. Looking back, was definitely not my smartest idea. And the irony now is I’m with the person he tried to kill on their Threshing day. If I’d known that was going to happen and I was now going to be in this position I might have decided differently.
”While I admit, it’s not the information I’d like to hear. I can’t exactly be one to judge given my previous endeavours.” Garrick admits.
”Previous endeavours? Is that what we’re calling them are we?”
”Sounded better in my head, ok?” He admits with a shrug. “And as much as I’d like to go beat the asshole for having his hands on you. He’s dead, and like I said, I really can’t judge.”
I raise a brow at him. “Are you ok? Did you hit your head on the wall or something earlier?”
He shakes his head and laughs. “I’m fine. But I just got you back, and I am not wrecking it only a few hours later, and not before we head into whatever is about to happen.” He tells me as he takes my hand in his. “So while I do want to be angry, and maybe go after Aaric as compensation, I won’t. We have other things to worry about.”
”Well that is definitely not the reaction I was expecting to you finding out.” I admit as I pull him down the corridor. “I’m still convinced there is something wrong with you though.”
”Oh trust me Dahlia, there’s plenty wrong with me.”
”Hey, I’ve spent the last few months watching this shitshow go down. I think I’m allowed an explanation.”
"I think it’s pretty fucking obvious what’s going on. If you can’t figure it out, then clearly you have issues.”
Dahlia doesn't know how to put into words what she wants, so instead she decides to show Garrick. And he's more than happy to oblige.
Warnings: 18+. MDNI. Unprotected Sex. Oral F Receiving.
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Garrick reacts immediately, not that I expected anything else from him when I did this. Because I knew the moment our lips met, neither of us would hold back. But I still prayed that he wouldn’t push me away and ask me to talk to him. But he clearly knew me well enough to know this was the only way I could convey what I wanted to say right now. And he responded exactly how I needed him to.
His hands find my hips before trailing down my legs, grasping my thighs tightly as he picks me up with a familiar ease and pulls me onto his lap as he sits further back on the desk. His lips not leaving mine as we fall into an all too familiar rhythm.
It’s almost like muscle memory how we move in sync. Our bodies knowing the other so well, we know what the other wants almost instantly. His hands move up my sides towards my shoulders; I shrug my flight jacket off as he does the same. His hands tighten on my hips; I sink lower into his lap and move against him as a groan rumbles through him as I move against the obvious bulge in his flight leathers. Everything about him feels right and familiar. And for the first time in months…. I feel like me again. I’d still been me, but like something was missing. And Garrick was what was missing. Gods it sounded cliche, but it was the truth. Right now, I felt more like myself than I had in months.
He grips my thighs again, holding me against him as he moves from the desk. Out of instinct I wrap my arms around his neck, even though I know he could hold me up without the extra help. My fingers find purpose in the familiar curls of his hair, another groan rumbling through him as I tug on them roughly.
”You keep that up, and I’ll be done before we can even get started.” He mumbles as his lips move to my neck, causing me to gasp and throw my head back as he kisses his way down it.
”Not living up to the reputation you use to keep Tavis.” I tease, immediately regretting it when he throws me down on the bed, looming over me as he looks down at me with a look that verges on being feral.
”I don’t need to uphold a reputation anymore. Haven’t for a long time now. Not since it’s been you and only you.” He tells me before kneeling on the floor in front of me.
I sit up on my elbows, watching as Garrick slowly undoes the laces on my boots before sliding each of them off my feet, his hands gliding over my legs as he reaches up and loosens my pants. His eyes not once leaving mine as he does this, as if scared I’ll disappear before his very eyes. And honestly, I’m doing the same. The sight of Garrick kneeling before me in all his glory is a sight I haven’t seen in months. And even though my dreams have taken me back there more times than I can count in that time, nothing quite compares to seeing it in person again.
He smirks at me before hooking his fingers into the waist band of my pants before slowly pulling them down my legs. I have to resist the urge to kick them off my legs myself. Wanting him to hurry up instead of taking his time. But the anticipation and the build up is amplifying everything. And I know by the time he gives me what I want, that the build up will make it feel a thousand times better. But I can’t help the way I squirm in anticipation of what’s to come, something Garrick definitely notices when he lets out a breathy chuckle.
Finally he removes the material, discarding it to the floor as I sit up and pull my shirt over my head, leaving me in just my underwear as I sit on the bed in front of Garrick. His eyes finally leave mine, taking every inch of me in, savoring this moment in case he never gets me like this again. But he will. I am never letting go of this man ever again in my life. I did it once, and I can safely say it was the worst decision of my life.
”Gods, please tell me this is real.” He finally mutters as his eyes meet mine again.
I lean forward, cupping his face between my hands as I rest my forehead against his. “This is real. Very real.” I tell him as I kiss his forehead. “This is happening. I am here.” I lean down and kiss his cheeks. “And I promise you this is not a dream. I am not going anywhere ever again. Because I am yours. Always have, and always will be Garrick Tavis.”
I go to lean down and press my lips to his, but he yanks my hips towards the edge of the bed, causing me to fall backwards as he places my legs over his shoulders. I try to sit up to see what he’s doing, but somehow he’s managed to remove my underwear, and I throw my head back as his mouth meets where I so desperately want him. I don’t even try to hide the orgasmic moan that leaves my lips, wanting Garrick to hear just how good he’s making me feel, and how much I’ve missed this. He responds by burying his face further between my thighs, his mouth devouring me. His tongue working me in ways I didn’t know were possible, his lips sucking and applying pressure in the best way possible, causing me to squirm on the bed as I throw my head back again and again.
Gods I’d missed this.
I know this is payback for the comment I’d made, drawing this out and making me squirm beneath him and getting me to finish first. But I didn’t give a single fuck. Not when it felt like this. Not when Garrick was showing me how easily he could shut me up and put me in my place with very little effort. It’s not long before the familiar feeling I’d been trying to chase on my own for months comes rushing to the surface. A feeling I had unsuccessfully been able to recreate myself. Any other time I would be ashamed how quickly he’d gotten me here. But yet again I didn’t give a single fuck as I topple over the edge, my thighs clamping around Garrick’s head in a way that should have me worried if he can breathe as my back arches off the bed.
”What did you say about living up to my reputation?” He says smugly from between my legs as he pulls my thighs away from his head as he rises up on his knees.
I open my eyes to see a now very shirtless Garrick smirking down at me, a very satisfied look in his eyes.
”Thought you didn’t need to live up to a reputation anymore.” I throw back as I push myself up.
”Oh I don’t, but clearly someone needed a reminder of what I can do.” He tells me with a shrug.
”Gods I hate you sometimes.” I say with a shake of my head, knowing the way my lips curl at the edges will give my true feelings away with ease.
”Love you to Dahlia.” He tells me without skipping a beat, my heart skipping a beat at the words.
It’s not like I didn’t know he loved me, but hearing them now in this moment does something to me. Especially with how he’s looking at me. Like I’m his entire world. Like nothing else matters. And unlike the first time he told me, nothing holds me back from telling him the words I’d never told him before.
”I love you.”
Garrick’s eyes go wide as he looks down at me, his whole body freezing as if he can’t quite believe the words that have left my mouth. Me taking him back tonight was one thing, but he’d clearly not been expecting me to say those words to him.
This time it’s Garrick’s turn to close the gap between us, his lips crashing onto mine as he holds me against him, falling back into the ravenous rhythm we’d set at the start. I wrap my legs around his waist as he moves us further back onto the bed.
He lays me back down on the bed before rising up and undoing his flight leathers. He sits down to remove them from his legs, and I decide to make my move. As he turns back to me, I push on his shoulder, causing him to fall back on the bed as I straddle his hips. His reaction is immediate. Hands gripping my hips, a hungry smirk on his face as he takes me in.
”Gods I missed this view.” He murmurs as he tightens his grip on my hips, pulling my hips down to meet his, rocking me back and forth against him.
I can feel how much Garrick is holding back right now. He looks like he’s in control, griding me back and forth on top of him, coating him in the aftermath of what he’d just done to me. But I can feel how tightly his fingers are digging into my hips, to the point I know I’ll have marks that match his fingers perfectly tomorrow.
I rise up, watching as Garrick tries to pull me back down, stopping when he watches me reach between us, grasping him tightly in my hand as he throws his head back as he releases a pained groan as his hips jolt up.
”And fuck did I miss you.” He adds gruffly as he rocks his hips back and forth in my grip.
”Someone’s desperate.” I tease.
He opens his eyes, narrowing them at me. “Don’t tempt me Dahlia. I’m holding back so I can prolong this and savour this. I- Oh fuck!”
Garrick throws his head back again as I rise up and sink down on him in one smooth motion, and I do the same, slightly regretting my decision after months of not being with him. I’d forgotten that I’d had to build up to doing this beforehand, and the stretch of him filling me out is more than I remember. But fuck does it feel amazing. And fuck does it feel right.
Garrick’s fingers dig into my hips as I slowly raise myself up and down, using the time to adjust before I know he takes over. Which happens seconds later, when I’m suddenly underneath him, his hand now pinning mine above my head. I barely glimpse the smirk on his face before I’m arching off the bed as he sets the feral pace I knew he was holding back from. Gods was I going to regret this in a few hours, but I didn’t care right now.
I needed this.
He needed this.
We both needed this.
I don’t even remember if I sound warded this room, not thinking I’d ever be in a situation where I would need to while in this room. I prayed whoever was either side of me was dead asleep or somewhere else, unable to hear the sounds of Garrick and I.
We were terrible. But we had good reason to be. Each thrust was hitting places in me I forgot existed, causing me to writhe beneath Garrick, tugging on his hands in an effort to get mine on him. But his grip only tightened on my wrists, pushing them further into the mattress as the other arm pushed under my hips, holding them up as he continued his brutal pace. I swear I nearly black out from the pleasure, barely hanging onto the thread of sanity I had left. The familiar feeling building quickly and rapidly inside me. And when Garrick’s hips falter ever so slightly as I tighten around him, I know he’s close to.
”Come on Dahlia, let go for me.” He growls out.
”I-I ca-can’t.”
”Yes you can darling.” His voice almost pleading as he encourages me to let go.
My body refuses to let go, hanging onto this moment just as much as I want to. But I know Garrick wants me to finish first. He can feel how close I am. Finally, his hand releases mine, my hands grasping onto his shoulder and hair in an effort to be closer to him, as his hand reaches beneath us and my body finally lets go with a cry.
This time I do blackout, because when I open them I’m no longer looking up at Garrick. I’m on my side, legs tangled in his, his arm bracing my head as his hands trace patterns down my side and back and he watches me.
”That good was it?” He says with a smile.
”Oh shut up.” I say with an eye roll, causing him to laugh at me.
A laugh that even though I’m so happy right now, feels so out of place with what’s about to come. Something Garrick must sense in my eyes when his smile drops and his eyes soften.
”Get some sleep.” He tells me.
”Easier said than done.” I tell him.
”I know. But at least try.” He says before he kisses me and pulls me into him, tucking my head under his chin as he wraps me in his arms.
I almost hate how quickly sleep pulls at the edge of my mind as soon as I relax into his arms. It feels like I blink and he’s shaking me awake. Our moment of momentary peace gone. And the reality of why we’re here setting in.
With a battle looming ahead of them, Dahlia finally seeks Garrick out.
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I knew one day we’d come back to Basgiath, but I didn’t think it would be this soon. Yet, here we were, back in the familiar walls of a place I once called home, listening to the leadership we once had faith in decide what we’re going to do.
Graduated riders are split amongst the wings and squads to help spread the experience out. Though I know most of those riders will be doing their own thing. Garrick being one of them. He’d been assigned to a squad in Fourth Wing, but I know he will be tasked with looking for the lure’s that Jack has apparently placed around the college given Chradh’s sensitivity to runes.
Jack Fucking Barlowe. I’m honestly not surprised he’s Venin. Especially with somehow surviving an entire mountain collapsing on him in his first year. There’s no way you can survive that without something else at play. And of course, they’d kept him alive to try and cure him…. our ‘leadership’ were dumber than I thought. And it makes me glad we’d made the choice to leave and take the side we did. Though it’s hard not to notice how outnumbered we are now we’re back here. The assembly had not been for the move to come and defend Basgiath. Meaning our numbers were far smaller without those who didn’t come. I can feel the stares and judgement from those riders who chose to stay at Basgiath. Especially from those in my own wing.
My wing had been very split with what had happened from what Ellie had told me. But, in my absence she had said no judgement would be given on those who chose to stay. Which given how fiery she could be, had been impressive. But it seems the no judgement only went one way as they glare at us. Ungrateful bastards. If Violet hadn’t figured out what was happening, they would stand no chance. Not that we stood much of a chance anyway. We needed more people. But we were going to have to make do with what we had.
While everyone else was eyeing each other off, my eyes could only focus on one thing. Garrick. This was my first time really seeing him since that night on the cliffs. I’d seen him briefly before we’d all taken flight to come here, but there had been no time to talk. But after this, I was not letting him get away. And as if he can sense my stare, he turns and looks at me over his shoulder. I can feel his heated gaze across the crowded room. Feel the question in his eyes. And when I nod, I visibly see him relax, a small tug at the edges of his mouth as he holds back a smile. Gods does it make me want to run over there and pull him away. But with how Mira and Violet keep cutting off General Sorrengail, I don’t think it would be my smartest idea right now.
Not much later, we’re dismissed to try get as much rest as we can before what’s to come. And i waste no time as I push through the crowd as everyone tries to get to bed to try and sleep. But I doubt I’ll be getting much rest tonight. I have no idea how tomorrow is going to go. No idea what outcome we’re going to face. And because of that, I need to talk to Garrick. We’re both skilled riders, both capable of handling ourselves. But if I didn’t talk to him and something happened… I really don’t know how I would cope.
I see him searching the crowd for me in the completely wrong direction, his head moving back and forth as he searches for me amongst the riders moving around him. I do something I haven’t willingly done in months. I reach out and grasp his hand in mine as I make it to him, his head snapping towards me at my touch as his hand grasps mine tightly.
”I think we need to talk.” I say as everyone pushes past us.
”You read the letters?” He asks, as if needing to hear it verbally.
I nod. “I did.”
“All of them?”
”Every single one.”
”Lead the way then Dahlia.”
I turn, pulling us through the crowd towards the dormitories and I can’t help but get the feeling of Deja Vu. Countless times I’d lead Garrick towards the dormitories just like this last year. It almost felt like how everything use to be with us. And maybe it was about to be. I was still hesitant, still felt somewhat heartbroken after what he’d done. But his letters had given me an insight to what had gone on in his head. Had shown me that he loved me far more than I could have ever imagined. And as much as my stubborn ass wanted to keep pushing back…. I didn’t want to anymore. I didn’t want to have this tension between us.
Because even though he broke my heart that day.
I still loved him.
It’s a weird feeling seeing my room again. Especially when the last time I walked down this corridor, it didn’t exactly go to plan. I’d been drugged and dragged away to be tortured. A memory I didn’t exactly want to relive. Garrick must feel my hesitation as he squeezes my hand and urges me forward. Pushing open my door, it’s exactly how I’d left it minus a few things someone had grabbed for me before heading to Basgiath. And now that I know Garrick had been the one to rescue me, he must have carried me here to get access to my room seeing as I had warded the door to anyone but me at the start of the year.
Garrick brushes past me, letting go of my hand to lean against the desk and look at me, and I have to hold back reacting to the loss of his touch as he steps away. Safe to say I really missed the feeling of it. And given the context of the letters, I’m surprised Garrick let my hand go, especially after I’d instigated it. But I knew what he was doing, he was letting me make whatever move I wanted. Letting me dictate how this went. I was the one in control right now. I had the power to choose the outcome. Because I knew where Garrick stood. I knew what he wanted. And the man in front of me, in all his glory, wanted me. He had chosen me through and through. And now it was up to me on if I wanted him back.
”We haven’t got all night Dahlia.” He says, finally breaking the silence.
I sigh and nod, choosing to pace back and forth to try and settle the restlessness in me, even though I knew it wasn’t necessary. I had nothing to be nervous about at all. But for some reason, I was the most nervous I had ever been.
”I know. I guess I don’t know exactly where to start I guess.” I tell him.
He reaches out and grabs my hand, pulling me to a stop in front of him, parting his legs and giving me the option to step towards him if I wanted to as he holds me there. Yet again, giving me the option to make the move.
”That's a first.” He says with a smirk as his hazel eyes assess me. There’s no doubt he can see how nervous I am. He knows me too well not to. “You read my letters. You know how I feel. You know where I stand. You know what I want, more than anything. So how about you start with what you want. Where do you stand? What do you want to do Dahlia?”
What did I want to do? Gods that was a loaded question right now. I had months of pent-up emotions and feelings I’d kept bottled up. Months of feelings that had grown, evolved and shifted countless times for the man sitting in front of me. And I truly didn’t know how to word what I wanted, even though what I wanted was so simple.
Him.
I wanted him.
I wanted Garrick Tavis.
And so I did the same thing I did nearly two years ago on reunification day, when he faced off against the general, when I didn’t know how to word the emotions swirling around my head.
I stepped between his legs, dropping his hands as I gripped the front of his flight jacket and pressed his lips to mine.
After returning to Riorson House, Dahlia rushes to her room after her talk with Garrick. And what she finds might just be what she's been needing all this time.
A/N - For those asking to see what Garrick wrote, this is for you.
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In classic Garrick fashion, he’s rushing off again. As soon as he lands he’s running off somewhere, but unlike the other times, he glances at me over his shoulder as Proth and I make our decent. I’m too far away to see the look he gives me, but something tells me he’s hoping I go to that desk. Pleading for me to go there immediately.
And I do.
As soon as Proth touches down, I throw myself from his back and head towards Riorson house. I must have a look on my face that said, “don’t fuck with me”, because every rider moves out of my way with ease, making my beeline to my room a lot easier than it should be considering the number of riders landing around me.
I vaguely hear my name being called out amongst the crowd or riders around me, but I don’t dare look and see who it is. That desk back in that room is all I can focus on right now. Countless times I’d sat at it since I’d been here, and been none the wiser to what could lay inside. Had they been there the entire time? Had I been sitting on a ticking time bomb that Garrick had been waiting for me to find? Whatever it was, it seemed important to him that I find it. And that only spurred my forward through the halls of Riorson house.
Pushing open the door I slam it shut behind me and make sure it’s locked. I didn’t need any interruptions for whatever I was about to find in that desk. But as I approach it, I find myself slowing down, my heart rate picking up as I focus on the handle that will reveal whatever it is that Garrick wants me to find. What could be in there? I’d used that draw a handful of times since I’d been here, but nothing had stood out to me the times I had. Had he come back and put something in there? No, surely I would have noticed if he’d been in here.
I grip the handle of the draw and slowly pull it open. And as the contents is revealed, I know I’ve somehow missed Garrick being in my room over the last few days. Sitting in the draw is a bound stack of folded pieces of parchment. A sight that has my heart thundering in my chest. I’d seen folded pieces of parchment like this before. But never stack and bounded like this. No. These were usually held out to me in the hand of Xaden Riorson when he’d visit Basgiath from Samara.
I grab the bundle of parchment, untying the string and unfolding the one sitting on top. Instantly I see his familiar handwriting. My name written so carefully at the top before opening up into words I thought I’d never see after various attempts of ridding them from my life. But here they were, in my hands.
Waiting to be read.
I back up, lowering myself down onto the edge of the bed when the back of my legs meet the edge of the frame, placing the rest of the pile on the bed next to me and unfolding the first of many letters from Garrick.
Dahlia,
I’m going to try and get as close to what I wrote the first time. But I didn’t exactly have the forethought to make copies of these when I decided to start writing these letters. I honestly should have known you better. Known you would want nothing to do with me after I broke your heart that night. Which will forever be the biggest regret of my life.
All I wanted to do was protect you while I was gone. I thought that removing myself from you would keep you safe. I should have approached it differently. Gods, I should have trusted you to take care of yourself. Because gods do I know you can. I have no doubt you would floor me on the mat if I ever went up against you. And honestly, I’d happily lose to you on that mat if it got me back on your good side.
Every night since I’ve been gone, I’ve replayed that moment over and over in my head. Each night I have nightmares of how you looked at me when I said those stupid fucking words. Words I will regret for the rest of my life. I really should have just talked to you about it, or even Xaden or Bodhi. Instead, I convinced myself it was the only way to keep you safe from harm. But in reality, you had a target on your back even without me being in your life. You had one just for being alive. Which I will remove if I am ever given the chance.
I honestly can’t even remember what I wrote in this first letter anymore. All I knew was I needed a way to talk to you. To let you know I regret what I did so fucking much. Especially after I told you I love you. Which I still do. I love you so much it’s ridiculous. Xaden and Bodhi would find that hilarious considering my past. A past you know all too well. But maybe the gods were just waiting to bring you into my life. Which you’re probably going to roll your eyes at if I ever give this to you. But sometimes, I really do believe I was never able to care for anyone like this because I was holding out for you.
My mum always said I’d know love when it came into my life. A love different from family. She told me it would consume me, consume everything about my life. And it did. You really did Dahlia. The minute you stepped off that damn parapet, levelled Xaden with that glare and put Dain in his place. I knew I was a goner. I may have denied it till my dying breath back then. But deep down I knew something had changed.
And now, I am going to do whatever it takes to win you back. Which I hope I can.
- Garrick.
I barely register the tears that have started rolling down my cheeks as I reach for another, and another. Practically ripping each one open as I read over the letters Garrick has poured his heart into. All of them going into detail about how he fell in love with me. Reliving moments that seem like a lifetime ago, but ultimately lead Garrick and I to what we became. What we were. What… what we had. What I wanted back more than anything in the world. I wanted more than anything to run off and find him. To tell him I still wanted him, I still felt the same even if I’d acted differently since that night. But I forced myself to sit there and read every single letter. Because I needed to know everything. I needed to know everything thought he’d had while writing these, every emotion he had felt. Because this was a side of Garrick I had never seen. And probably a side of him no one had ever seen. But here it all was, laid out in front of me. Inked permanently into these letters for me to read.
I pause when I get to the last letter. The colour of the parchment is notably different to the rest. Logically I could put it down to a new roll or something like that. But something about this one felt different to the rest. Like it didn’t belong with the rest of them. The ink my name is scrawled in, slightly fresher than the others. And when I open it, I soon find out why.
Dahlia,
I don’t know if you’ll get to the end of these letters. But gods I hope you do. I’ve held onto these since I left Samara that day, completely naive to what I would face when I found you in that room.
I don’t even know if you remember that day, even know it was me who found you hanging in that chamber. It’s a memory I’ll never forget no matter how much I try to. I don’t think my heart has dropped so much in my life when I saw you hanging there by those chains. Which is saying something considering some of the things I’ve been through and seen. But I know without a doubt it’s the worst sight I’ll ever see. And the worst thing I’ll ever go through.
I’ll never forget the feeling of not knowing if you were dead or alive, feeling how lifeless you felt in my arms as I held you while Bodhi and Sawyer tried to free you. And after all that time apart, that’s not how I wanted to hold you in my arms for the first time. It was like karma had come back to bite me for that night. I got to see you and hold you again, but I had no idea if you would ever wake up. But thank gods you did. And yet again, I shouldn’t have been surprised considering how much of a fighter you are.
And a fighter you are. Since that day you’ve shown me time and time again why I fell in love with you. I wasn’t sure how you’d be towards me once you saw me again. And even though it was the reunion I’d always wanted, I couldn’t help but enjoy seeing you just as fiery as you were when I met you. But behind that, I could see you still cared, still had feelings. And I held onto the hope that one day those feelings would outweigh the hate you felt towards me. So many times, I’ve thought that moment was going to happen. So many times, we toed the line of saying fuck it and letting our emotions take over. But I knew I had to let you do it even though I had countless times where I just wanted to grab you by the waist and crash my lips against yours.
I hope these letters, if you read them all, have shown you how much I truly care for you. And how much you mean to me. You are my whole world, Dahlia. And always will be. If your feelings haven’t changed, then I will live with that. Cause even if you hate me still, least I’ll have you in my life. And honestly, that’s all I can ask for at this stage. So even if I have to watch you move on and fall in love with someone else…. Then I’ll let that happen. I’ll hate myself for letting it happen… but at least you’d be happy again.
I’ll always be here if you need me.
- Garrick.
I don’t think, I just act. Flinging myself off the bed in a mad rush. But as I fling open the door, I realise he’s probably gone again on some mission for Xaden. I try to reach for Proth, but I find his shield firmly in place, most likely resting and not wanting to be disturbed. He’d probably put his shield up when he felt my emotions going all over the place from reading Garrick’s letters. Meaning I couldn’t use him to ask Chradh where Garrick was.
So I go to the next best option. I rush into the hallway and to the door one down from mine, banging furiously on the door, praying he’s in there and able to tell me where Garric could be. Or help me sort through the emotions and thoughts rushing through my head. After a few moments of no reply, I bang on the door again. I know he’s in there, the soft flicker of light from inside the room notable at the bottom of the door.
“Come on Bodhi, I know you’re in there.” I call out as I knock again.
Finally after another round of knocking the door opens, revealing a rather disheveled and flushed Bodhi. His hair sticking up in all directions as if mussed by something other than sleep, skin flushed as if he’s been exerting himself, and a very notably inside out shirt that he’s haphazardly thrown on. And now with the door open, I can’t miss the sound of rushed movements behind him as if someone is looking for something. But with how Bodhi attempts to block my view I can’t see who or what.
I raise an eyebrow at him. “Am I interrupting something?”
Bodhi’s eyes widen. “N-no, definitely not. Why would you be interrupting something?” He blurts out hurriedly, as if nervous I’ve caught him out.
I can’t help but smirk at my best friend as I take in his appearance. “You just look a bit… flustered is all. You ok?”
“Yeah… yeah. Absolutely fine. Was just s-sleeping is all.” He says with a nervous smile.
Behind him someone rushes behind him towards his bathroom. And even though the movements quick, there’s no denying the familiar brown hair that flows behind the person as they rush by.
“Right. Anyway, do you know when Garrick might be? He rushed off when we all landed and I assumed it was Xaden related and… I need to talk to him.” I ask.
Bodhi brow raises at my words, his nervous demeanour shifting to curiosity, before a fleeting moment of panic as his bathroom door closes a little too loudly behind him.
“Like a, you need to talk to him about you guys' kind of talk?” He asks as he takes me in, finally seeing how flustered I probably look, probably noting the tears that have run down my face and my still watery eyes.
“If I tell you, then you have to explain what you were actually doing with Ellie before I knocked on the door. Though with your inside out shirt and disheveled appearance… it isn’t hard to guess what kind of ‘sleeping’ you two were doing.” I tell him with a smirk, causing him to turn bright red. “So, I’ll ask again. Do you know where Garrick is?”
Bodhi sighs and nods. “Yeah, Xaden called a meeting and sent people out on flights to keep an eye out for any more surprises. Garrick was one of them.”
Great. Just as I thought. Yet again, when I needed Garrick, needed him more than anything… Xaden Fucking Riorson strikes again.
Wyvern have been spotted nearby, and Dahlia gets paired with Garrick for their patrol, giving them a sometime for a much needed (and very brief) talk.
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Of all the people I could have been put with, it had to be Garrick.
I swear Xaden had done it intentionally when making the makeshift riots to scout the perimeter. He’d also put Bodhi with us, but he’d very much chosen to keep his distance from us. Despite the fact I’d wanted to talk to Garrick, having this alone time with him now, was the last thing I wanted. I wanted Bodhi here to act as a buffer, to ease whatever tension had formed between Garrick and I since that interaction on the flight field that day. But instead, Garrick and I stand on the edge of the cliff, looking out below of any signs of Wyvern while the awkward silence lingers over us.
”I’m surprised, thought you would be asking me all the questions after finally getting me on my own.” Garrick finally says from next to me.
I look at him and cock an eyebrow as annoyance rushes through me. He had some nerve making that comment.
”That’s rich coming from the person who has been avoiding me.” I tell him.
”I have not been-”
”Don’t deny it Garrick. Every time I’ve seen you since then, you’ve practically run in the other direction from me. Which I find very ironic after your whole ‘let me in’ and ‘let me help you’ talk you gave me before everything came out about second signets” I say as I shake my head and walk a few steps away. “And I wanted to, I tried to, but you didn’t want anything to do with me.”
”I thought you needed more time. With everything you found out, I thought you’d need more time to want my help, to let me in.” He tells me as he attempts to close the gap between us. “You’re not usually the type to come rushing to someone to let them in.”
”Well maybe this time I was, and the one time I did you weren’t there.” I snap at him.
He sighs and shakes his head. “Xaden-”
”I know Garrick. I fucking know he needed you. I’m aware. And gods do I get it. I really do. But I can’t help how I feel. And this wasn’t exactly the kind of conversation I could have with Bodhi, because all he’d do is tell me to talk to you. And that was going to get me nowhere because you’ve been MIA since it all happened.” I practically yell at him.
Garrick takes my verbal abuse in his stride, barely flinching at my raised voice as if he expected this to happen. He just looks at me calmly, as if silently asking if I’m done venting or keep going. And honestly, I don’t know which option to take. I could keep yelling at him, getting out all my frustrations about not being able to talk to him, Xaden needing him as he always does, and just how messed up my whole life has become since I walked across that damn parapet nearly three years ago. But that wasn’t going to get us anywhere. But this was hardly the place or time to have the conversation I wanted or needed from him. We could be seconds away from Wyvern or Venin appearing on the horizon, and us carrying on like this was a distraction neither of us needed if we were going to take them on.
After a few seconds he sighs and hangs his head. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have avoided you, and maybe I should have fought back on Xaden sending me anywhere and everywhere. I asked you to let me in, and when you wanted to, I wasn’t there like I said I would be.”
”You can’t exactly tell Xaden no when you’re trying to protect us and save the people that need saving.” I tell him as I take a step towards him, causing him to raise his head and look at me with regret in sadness in his eyes.
”I know, but I said I’d be there and I wasn’t. I failed you. Again.” He says sadly.
”Wyvern incoming. We need to move.” Proth informs me.
Chradh must relay the same information as Garrick’s head snaps to right, taking in the unmistakable shadows looming in the distance. Yet again something else getting in the way of us talking.
”Look, I know we can’t finish this now. But when we get back, check your draws of your desk.” Garrick tells me as he backs away towards Chradh.
”My desk draws? What has any of this got to do with my desk draws?” I call out to him.
”You’ll see.” He calls back as he mounts Chradh. “When you find out, come and find me.”
Sometimes Garrick just needs to keep his mouth shut.
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“Excited for your first taste of freedom since being here?” Bodhi asks as we walk towards the makeshift flight field.
”I don’t know if I’d exactly call this freedom.” I point out. “We’re doing recon flight that barely gets us away from here.”
”But a flight that gets us out of here for longer than they’ve let us.” Ellie points out from the other side of Bodhi.
”See, she’s being positive about this.” Bodhi says with a smile, clearly trying to rile me up.
I roll my eyes at them. “I’m not being negative.”
”No, you’re just in a bad mood because you’re being ignored by the one person you actually want to talk to now.” Ellie adds with a smirk, earning a glare from me.
”You still haven’t talked to him?” Bodhi asks, clearly shocked.
”Nope. Feel like he’s ignoring me now.” I grumble.
”How ironic seeing as you we’re ignoring him as much as possible since we arrived.” Ellie adds causing Bodhi to give her a pointed look.
”Clearly what was said that night didn’t mean what I thought. If he wants to talk, he can come and find me. I’ve tried to talk to him. It’s up to him now.” I tell him as we walk onto the flight field.
I can feel Bodhi looking at me, but I keep my attention off him, not wanting to talk about this anymore. Literally any time I’d gotten a glimpse of Garrick since then, that’s all I’d gotten. He’d made himself very scarce since that night. And I honestly didn’t know what to think of it. Especially when I’d caught him staring. And as if fate had it out for me, an all too familiar brown dragon lands right next to Proth. Just what I fucking needed.
”This is going to be interesting.” Bodhi mutters as we get closer, Xaden, Garrick and the rest of their riot dismounting.
They’d been gone for a few days, but it’s a relief to see all of them returning. Especially after they’d gone out and lost Nyra just outside of Draithus not long ago. That had been a tough one to hear about. Especially when a lot of the details felt so much like Resson.
As we get closer it’s easy to see their time away hasn’t been easy. All the boys have days old scruff on their faces from their time away, and I hate how good it makes Garrick look when my eyes land on him. It was honestly illegal how good it looked on him. And part of me hoped he would keep it for a little bit, even if I barely saw him while he was back. No doubt by the time I got back from this test run, he’d be off on some other mission or making himself scarcely available. So, I take advantage of being able to see him up close while I can. Taking note that despite how tired him and the others look, none of them appear to be injured.
”Good to see you, Vi.” Garrick says to her as he quickly averts his gaze from mine as we walk over to them. “You definitely need to make him tell you about the venin he took down just outside Draithus.” He says with his signature smirk.
”You what?” Violet exclaims as her head snaps back to Xaden who is glaring at Garrick.
I can't deny the information makes my heart drop a little bit. We know Venin are out there and on the move. But hearing they'd encountered some was not what I wanted to hear. But it's easy to tell Garrick is just trying to rile up his best friend.
”Thanks for that, asshole.” He growls out.
”Just doing my part to help your communicaiton skills thrive in a stable relationship.” Garrick tells him as he turns and walks backwards with ease, raising his hands in a shrug.
I can’t help but scoff at his words, finally pulling his attention to me fully. Should I have kept my mouth shut? Definitely. Did I?
“Like you have any room to talk about stable relationships.” I counter as I glare at him.
For a moment his smirk falters, my words clearly hitting a nerve before he’s smirking at me again. “I’m going to skip the obvious pun to be made about mares in my stable and current predicaments. Seeing as I’m no longer a cadet but a mature, responsible officer.” Before he turns and continues back to Riorson house without even a glance back at me.
It takes all my strength to not throw the dagger my fingers are itching to grab at his back. It’s the most attention he’s given me since that night, and I had to fucking ruin it by snapping at him. One fucking job Dahlia. One fucking job. I turn and head for Proth before anyone can comment on what just happened. It’s the last thing I need right now, especially with how angry his comment had made me. Gods, he infuriated me.
”You brought that one on yourself.” Proth tells me with what looks like the dragon version of a smirk as I walk over to him.
”I do not need your commentary right now.” I snap at him.
”No, but you really did bring that on yourself. You could have said nothing.” He points out.
”And he could have kept his mouth shut about relationship advice.” I throw back.
”This is going to be such a fun day.”
While our day had gone smoothly, the exercise Violet and her squad had been on had not. And just like I’d predicted, on my return, Garrick was once again gone. And despite our interaction in the flight field this morning, I couldn't help but be disappointed in the fact he was once again, gone.
