Would loveeee to read some xaden x reader!!!
I’m also having trouble thinking of a specific scene😅 but maybe a miscommunication trope? I’m a sucker for angst resolved with fluff haha
ᴅᴇꜱᴛɪɴᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ | x. ʀɪᴏʀꜱᴏɴ
summary: She has been his most trusted friend for two decades. And suddenly, it was all gone.
word count: 4k
warnings: angst, miscommunication/misunderstanding, Xaden being a simp for his woman, Violet being the friend here, longing, pining for one another, basically two idiots in love, kissing, the mere allusion to smutty town (but really PG6), love confessions, fluffy ending, not entirely 100% proofread
author’s note: Gosh, I love Xaden so much. Have fun with this one <3 Dividers are by @chrisssiren
“YNN!”
No, No, No.
The woman sighed deeply at the achingly familiar voice of him, focusing back on the task of lacing her leather corset on the way to the flying field. The wing leader meeting had run overtime—gods only knew why, because no one had contributed anything substantial at all amidst the shouting and insults—and she would have definitely turned up late to formations if she had chosen to get changed in her room after one of the corset strings had decided to ruin her already stressful morning even further by tearing right in the middle of the meeting.
“Gods damn it, YNN! Hold on.”
YN would prefer to fall off her dragon’s back and crash-land on the ground after a hundred-meter fall than wait for him, only to get told even more lies and half-truths. She was done with it.
Tying the strings close and tucking them securely out of reach before closing the numerous clasps of her flight jacket, YNN didn’t even throw a glance over her shoulder when she answered: “I am late as it is, Riorson, so don’t mind me not stopping for a little chitchat to sooth your bruised ego.”
Because that’s what it was, wasn’t it? He only ever came running back to her when she turned a cold shoulder to him. She had probably chosen Aetos over Xaden again, and now he was angry, defeated, and in desperate need of her company. Yes, YN definitely had obliged in the beginning, thinking nothing of it, but then she had seen the chemistry between them, the kiss in the darkness of night, and she couldn’t do it any longer.
Not when her heart ached like hellfire at the mere thought of these two together.
But why was she even surprised? Sure, they had known each other since the day of their first wobbly steps, falling over each other, and yes, her mother had been the closest companion of his father, but why would someone like Xaden Riorson fall in love with someone like her? She was nothing like Violet Sorrengail—she wasn’t petite, she wasn’t as pretty, she didn’t have hair that mesmerizing. YN was a hell of a fighter and dragon rider; she knew that because she had been named wing leader right after her first year, she was good academically, and still, she was no Sorrengail. All she had to her name was ashes of a past she was supposed to never speak of again, scars littering her body, and a rebel relic widening its way from her shoulder down to her wrist.
Be happy with what you got, a voice in her mind whispered the moment shadowy smoke entered her periphery and wrapped itself around her lower arm, making her stop right in front of the rounded staircase.
Anger and something else made their presence known when she turned to Xaden, halting a few steps in front of her. “I don’t have a bruised ego, I just want to walk to the flight field with my best friend after she has ignored me for the past week,” the man defended himself, making the woman huff out a laugh. “Yeah, sure thing. The same best friend who you casually always forget as soon as she’s in the room, but sure, let’s run with that sorry excuse of a reason.” YN pointed at the shadow still clinging to her arm. “Do you mind? I really am late, and I can’t stand to hear another quip of dear ol’ Aetos.”
He stared down at her as if she spoke a different language. “Actually, I do mind.” With that, the shadow was exchanged for his strong hand, long fingers wrapping tightly around her arm to pull her into him. “I do mind because you are my fucking best friend and you avoid me like the fucking plague ever since…” She stared right back at him, not flinching in the slightest, like everyone else always seemed to do in the line of his cold stares. They had never intimidated her because she knew him. “Ever since what, Xaden? Spit it out and be done with it.”
YN had never told a soul about her feelings for her best friend—minus a drunken night with Sloane and Liam, but neither her baby sister nor her little brother would ever spill her longest kept secret—but had she been subtle about it? Probably not. At this point, the entire school could easily know about the lingering stares she had discreetly thrown across the training mats, or the burning stares of a slighted dragon whenever Xaden dared to show up with Violet practically hanging off his arm. She never had something against the woman in the first place—she almost seemed nice enough to like—but all that changed with that blasted kiss she had watched only because she had been in the library longer than planned.
Xaden leaned even closer, lowering his head almost to her eye level. “Ever since Violet arrived and I kissed her.” His words were quiet, but still, they ram through her like a dragon in full speed. And it made her so fucking mad that he was right.
She took a deep, steadying breath to quell the anger boiling inside her. “Go and be with her, but leave me out of it once and for all. We had a great friendship, but childish things have to die in here—that is the rule of Basgiath. Don’t come running back to me whenever it pleases you, never thinking about me and what it might do to me, how it might hurt to realize I am only of interest or a fancy toy newly found after losing it when she doesn’t want you. I am done with it, Xaden. I am so done with it. Go be happy or whatever you are with her and let me survive this death sentence of a school on my own.”
With that, she ripped her arm out of his grasp, turned on the spot, and left a stunned Xaden behind as she finally made her way down the stairs, through the walkway, and up to the flight field.
You are stronger than you might think, fiery one, her dragon spoke in her mind, reminding her of his presence and trust in her. Who needed a man when one had the largest of the reds as their bonded dragon, anyway?
Xaden watched her.
He watched her all the gods damned time.
Whenever YN entered a room, his eyes immediately had to snap to her, watching her trained and skilled form weave through the crowd of the dining hall or the courtyard, purpose and strength in her steps. She commanded respect as the youngest elected wing leader; everyone knew of her skills and sharp mind. Everyone had watched her challenges fought out on the mats, witnessed her strategic thinking in every class, and could see the lethal grace she encompassed as soon as she climbed her dragon and took off into the skies. Not to mention the way she wielded her signet—the one not presented on her uniform, considered secret for the common folk.
He had been lost years ago—lost his heart and soul to this woman who now wouldn’t even look in his direction, his presence beneath that of a mouse stealing the cheese in Basgiath. Even that mouse would gain her attention sooner than him, especially if it tried to steal one of her cheese cubes she craved whenever her monthly blood flood knocked at the doors—her words, not his.
Even now, two days after their conversation, which had left him stunned and confused, Xaden watched her dragon fly in circles in the clear blue sky before landing on the flight field after formations, YN sitting on its back with windswept hair and flushed cheeks. He watched one of her hands rest on the dragon’s red, shimmery scales as she spoke to the majestic creature—scales that easily reminded one of the ever-changing colors of a fire; garnet, scarlet, ruby, and ember shades creating something as beautiful and mesmerizing as YN Mairi was.
“This is a pathetic display, boy,” Sgaeyl mocked behind him, but he knew she watched them, too. “You do need to make a decision and stop playing foolish games.” He knew that, and yet, Xaden didn’t know how. He was bound to a promise in order to protect those he loved the most—his friends, the other rebel kids trying to survive this hellhole of a school, and… the one woman who now stared right back at him.
Despite the distance, it seemed he could almost feel the anger directed at him physically, making his stomach turn, and his muscles clench.
Where did they go wrong?
At which point did he lose her so irrevocably?
Xaden’s whirlwind of questions eased the moment he felt a presence right next to him, and he didn’t have to look to know who stood beside him. Violet had the tendency to appear at the most inconvenient of times, mostly whenever he tried to mend things with YN, even though he hadn’t been entirely sure what it was he had to mend—not until two days ago, when he finally had witnessed every single emotion floating through her eyes after he had fought through the clouds of anger and hurt. And now he knew how this might appear to his best friend.
One look back at her, and he could watch the way she climbed off Tavryn; movements filled with grace and something else, and the reckless streak continued as Xaden took a step in her direction when YN let go of the scales numerous feet above the grassy ground and landed on her boots.
“Xaden.”
Now he had to turn to Violet, but his mind screamed to walk to YN, to pull her into his arms, and make her strong-headed mind realize that he felt exactly the same as she did. (And making every soul in Basgiath see who she belonged to, finally stopping the longing and drooling stares of most men and even a handful of women within these walls. His heart and nerves would surely be thankful for that.)
“What is it, Violet?”
She looked up at him, brows drawn in. “Do you like her?” Xaden wasn’t sure if it was jealousy he heard in her voice. “She’s my best friend,” was all he said, making her scoff. “Best friends do not look at each other the way you two are.” Obviously, she was right because Violet was no foul. Neither was he—at least most of the time. He couldn’t say the same about himself whenever YN was concerned.
With a deep sigh, Xaden pushed a hand through his hair and propped a fist into his hip. “Whatever it is you want to say, Violet, say it.” When had he become so incredibly tired of everything revolving around him? When had he started to loathe the responsibilities he had taken on as one of the eldest? Had he ever liked being a leader, a protector, someone those after him could look up to and seek advice?
YN had always been better at giving counsel and advice—she had the empathy and warmth for it if she so much as pleased to show it to the world. Traits he clearly seemed to lack.
Xaden was fortunate enough to be one of the few people in the world who knew about the depth of this hidden side of his best friend.
Violet took a step closer to him, one of her hands rising and resting on his chest, right above his beating heart.
A heart that would never beat for her.
“The night of our kiss… It was a mistake, something born out of the bond that we share. I know that now. I might have known for a while. We would never work out, Xaden, not even if you would love me just a fraction of the way you love YN. We might have to stay in each others lives, but I only offer a hand in friendship. I don’t want to stand in the way of you and her because I see how miserable each of you is. I can feel it, even if you try to hide it.”
He was stunned to say the least. He never would have guessed this was what she wanted to talk to him about, not with the way they both had acted around one another in the past weeks. First, he had seriously considered growing a liking for her, but then his heart always ached whenever he looked at YN, unable to let go of her, not even after all these years loving her from afar, only ever being her best friend and nothing more.
Always having to watch on whenever she would choose another to warm her bed, all the while he desperately wanted to be the one she would choose every night, every day, every minute they spent breathing.
As Bodhi would say: He was a goner for YN Mairi.
And he would wholeheartedly agree because the longing ached so much; on some days, it was almost unbearable.
Was she feeling the same?
Was she as miserable as he was?
Would she accept him? Would she take him as he was, flaws and all?
Xaden didn’t want to admit it, but it scared him—the prospect of not being good enough for someone like YN Mairi, he so desperately loved, it almost appeared impossible. As if the gods themselves forged this love for this woman.
Perhaps they were destined for each other.
Staring down at Violet, Xaden let out a long-held breath. “Thank you.” It was a mere murmur, but it made her smile nonetheless. “Not for this, Xaden. I want you to be happy—I want myself to be happy. And I’m gladly stepping away for the sake of both of us.”
He gently squeezed her shoulder before turning and walking across the field, eating up the distance between him and the woman he loved more than life itself.
“It took you long enough, boy. Go and claim your mate,” Sgaeyl growled, making Xaden almost chuckle because he always had a suspicion that the blue daggertail secretly adored YN. Perhaps his dragon would finally cease to haunt him whenever her menacing stares fell on Tavryn and YN, always hounding him about what a perfect match these two were, how she ought to be one of the most powerful additions to Navarre and their own forces, making her stand out in the sea of rebels and revolutionists.
Xaden’s heart almost lost hope when YN turned at the sound of his closing steps, anger and something else taking over her pretty features he would one day have painted and immortalized in a portrait, hanging in the main hall of Riorson House back at home in Aretia, perhaps next to a portrait of both of them together. Slow down, Xaden, the voice of his realistic side warned him in his mind.
“Not you again,” YN huffed when he was within earshot, pulling off her leather gloves one finger at a time with precision and traitorous calm, eyes downcast on the task at hand. “Someone is waiting for you right over there, you know? You should go back and leave me the hell out of it.” Her menacing red dragon growled in warning to underline her words, making Xaden look up at the beast for a moment, calculating if he would kill him if the man dared to step closer to his rider. But he knew how crucial it was to make her finally understand, so Xaden shot every warning in his mind into the wind and down the ravine as he stepped closer when YN pushed her gloves into the belt around her hips.
The sudden closeness made her pause, and, slowly, ever so slowly, her gaze wandered up his body, halting at his shoulders for a moment before she finally stared right into his eyes, not budging even the tiniest bit.
He loved that about her. Her fierceness. Her bravery. Her undying and utterly devoted loyalty once someone had gained her trust. Her selflessness in protecting the people she loved with everything she was, if the situation required it. The depths of her emotions.
YN Mairi was one of a kind, and Xaden would be a fool to let this woman slip through his fingers because he had been stupid enough not to look deeper and allow himself to feel.
The woman in front of him huffed again at the lack of words leaving his mouth. “Great. And now you’ve grown mute or what? What is wrong with you? Don’t you understand the common tongue anymore, Riorson? Do I have to spell it out for you? Write it down? It would be my pleasure if it means to finally get rid of yo-…” Taking a step closer, Xaden growled: “You don’t know when to shut up and listen for once, woman, do you?”
And with that, and another frustrated growl, one of his hands slid into the back of her neck, fingers tangling in her silky strands, softly grabbing them and forcing her head to bend back, making her keep watching him. “I do not love her. I have never loved Violet, and do you want to know why?” He barely paused long enough to give her the chance to get another sarcastic quip in. “Because I am so desperately and irrevocably in love with this frustrating and infuriatingly headstrong woman. She is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. Sarcastic, smart, brilliant. Loyal to a fault after you achieved getting into her heart because she allowed you in. But, by the gods, does she infuriate me constantly. You wanna know why?” Another too short a pause for her to barrel in, but her stunned expression told Xaden she wouldn’t have said a word either way. He leaned closer, until the tip of their noses touched ever so softly. “Because she doesn’t see me. She doesn’t see how hard I’m aching to be near her, how hard every day is knowing she wouldn’t even deign to look my way, not granting me one of her pretty smiles, not laughing at a mumbled snark, not waiting for me with an extra bread roll on her plate in the morning because she knows how much I love those. Do you know how hard that is, YNN? I can’t breathe without you near me. Life without you is constant agony, and I am done with it. I am done living in constant pain.”
He laid everything bare, and it barely scared him anymore—not when he saw realization trickle into her eyes, which didn’t dare blink. And then, a slow, small smile tugged at her lips, which he had dreamed of countless times over the years.
“Took you long enough,” YN whispered, almost teasingly, but with deep affection in her tone, he knew how to read after two decades of friendship. “Unbelievable,” he growled in return, his hand wrapped up in her silky hair, pulling her closer into him and claiming her lips with his in a bruising kiss, bordering on violence and desperation. He would have time to explore her, to get familiar with her on this new level, but right now he had to make sure she knew what he meant—what it meant being loved by him.
Her body pressed against his was pure bliss, the lovely moan escaping her utterly heart-wrenching, and her hands grabbing onto his shoulders and neck absolutely divine. They fit perfectly, like two perfectly crafted puzzle pieces, only waiting to be finally picked up and put together, forming a union stronger than anything else. They had always been a team, but now, it would be something more, something deeper—and he couldn’t wait to explore it with her.
Kissing her like a man starved and possessed, Xaden bent her neck even further, bowing at his waist to be closer to her, feet steady and standing strong to support them both, feeling YN’s hands desperately pulling at his leathers, trying to have him even closer. Oh, how he would revel in the moment the door of either of their private rooms would fall shut behind them, and he would have this woman all to himself.
Buzzing excitement and a nervous flutter zapped through his body at the mere thought of having YN Mairi standing in front of him, watching her peel all these layers away, knowing he would be the only man seeing her from now on. It stirred something ancient in him, something from long-lost times. If he weren’t trained to hold back, he would mark her like some feral beast.
Gasping for air, YN softly pushed at his shoulders before one of her soft hands found its natural spot against the sharp line of his jaw, the pad of her thumb gently caressing his warm cheek below his strong cheekbone. Xaden’s heart beat faster at the sight of her mesmerizing eyes softening while she traced his features with every gaze, watching his eyes, calculating if she could believe him.
He knew her after all.
But then, she pressed a soft kiss to one corner of his mouth, letting her lips linger there, inhaling deeply before a sigh left her body, taking all the tightness of her muscles with it. He knew then that YN believed him. He knew she let her walls down for him, desperately hoping she wouldn’t regret it. And Xaden would make sure it would never come to it.
“Did you finally understand, love? I could never be in love with Violet or anyone else for that matter, because my love was always claimed by you. There was no one else—there could never be anyone else but you. And I think, I am not the only one.”
He watched her closely but had to close his eyes when YN pulled him back to her lips, kissing him softer and without rush, savouring the sensation before her fingers wrapped around his chin, not letting his head move an inch. He wouldn’t dare to go against her wish.
“Xaden… I have loved you since the day we went into the hills around Aretia and gathered wildflowers because I wanted a flower crown for the festivities. I loved you even before that day. And that has never changed, not throughout the years, not when I was brought to some foreign estate, not knowing if or when I would see you again, and definitely not after running into you on our way up to the parapet.” She stopped, and the Riorson was quick to catch one stray tear with his thumb that dared to escape her lashes. “I am not even sure I am capable of not loving you, doesn’t matter how hard I try.”
Her grip became stronger around his chin, and fire erupted in her eyes, making him almost smirk. “But because I love you more than the air we breathe, I will not tolerate being betrayed. Do you understand me, Riorson? You will come to me and talk it through like adults if something ever happens and you try to pull back and handle it yourself. That is not how this is going to work from now on. You will come to me and I will be by your side. You will not pull away and let me guess and suffer like some silly school girl. We are past that point and I’ll beat the living hells out of you if you try something like this.” His smirk finally showed, lifting one corner of his mouth as he nodded slowly. “I mean it,” YN stressed and pulled his face closer to hers. “Don’t try to outsmart me. I know you, perhaps better than anyone else, so let me be by your side.”
Xaden felt satisfaction and pride pool in his body, and he wasn’t shy of devouring her lips again, pressing his forehead against hers, breathing the same air as she did, feeling finally complete.
“I will not betray you, love. I swear it on my life.”
And he had every intent to keep his promise until his body would be burned after either losing his last fight or falling asleep next to the woman he loved after having lived a very long and happy life with her.
