h
Kiana Khansmith
Sade Olutola
Acquired Stardust
PR's Tumblrdome
Sweet Seals For You, Always
trying on a metaphor
Love Begins
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
i don't do bad sauce passes
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DEAR READER
Keni
Three Goblin Art
hello vonnie
Stranger Things
❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
occasionally subtle
Misplaced Lens Cap
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Türkiye
seen from India
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from Singapore
seen from Singapore
seen from Singapore
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seen from Türkiye
seen from Germany
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@angusthescot
angusthescot:
Oh (looks down at the fingers curled into his shirt now) What’s easiest for you?
It … might be better if you bottomed. I mean, it’ll hurt but … you don’t have to get hard for that. [bites lip] I don’t want to hurt you, but I don’t … I mean, that might be easier just … in case you can’t get hard.
Hey (he says softly reaching up to touch his cheek lightly) it’s okay. You won’t hurt me.
angusthescot:
Well, I figured we’d have sex
Well, obviously. I just meant … [shifts closer to Angus, curling his fingers gently into Angus’s shirt] do you want to be top or bottom? what position do you want?
Oh (looks down at the fingers curled into his shirt now) What’s easiest for you?
angusthescot:
No, we never did anything
Okay, so we’ll go slow. [looks at the bed in the room and bites his lip, hesitating before turning toward Angus] How do ye want tae do this?
Well, I figured we’d have sex
angusthescot:
(shakes his head, starting towards the single bedroom) No, I mean with the girl we started, but I couldn’t. She called me a freak. Said there was something wrong with me. I didn’t have those feelings, but I guess I didn’t want to even try anymore after that
Oh. Tha’s shit. I’m sorry. But ye an’ Tess never … experimented or onything either?
No, we never did anything
angusthescot:
I really what?
I mean, I ken sex wasna really ye thing, but I guess I jus’ thought ye ‘ad done it before. Ye flirt a lot.
(shakes his head, starting towards the single bedroom) No, I mean with the girl we started, but I couldn’t. She called me a freak. Said there was something wrong with me. I didn’t have those feelings, but I guess I didn’t want to even try anymore after that
angusthescot:
It’s okay (nods a little, helping him to stand) Just I’ve - I’ve never actually done this. I mean, I did once - I tried once but it was with a girl. That’s not a problem is it?
[blinks] You … really?
I really what?
angusthescot:
Okay, if yer sure. (stands up before holding his hand out to him)
[looks at the hand for a moment, his heartbeat quickening] Are you sure it’s okay? [asks softly, even as he stands a bit shakily and takes Angus’s hand]
It’s okay (nods a little, helping him to stand) Just I’ve - I’ve never actually done this. I mean, I did once - I tried once but it was with a girl. That’s not a problem is it?
angusthescot:
if yer sure ye want that
I jus’ … I need you right now. I need this.
Okay, if yer sure. (stands up before holding his hand out to him)
angusthescot:
(puts his hand on the side of his arm) someday someone will love ye in the way ye want and deserve.
[looks down at his hand at his arm] You said once that you’d make love to me. Just once… . Could we do that?
if yer sure ye want that
angusthescot:
I’m sorry I can’t love ye the way ye want to. Yer a good guy, Tris, ye deserve that. Is it important to ye that they love ye like that?
I dinna ken …
(puts his hand on the side of his arm) someday someone will love ye in the way ye want and deserve.
angusthescot:
Feelings aren’t something ye can try at. They’re there or they’re not, even if you try to ignore them or make them happen. Of course it’s not selfish, Tristan. Wanting to feel loved, it’s human.
I dinna ken if they love me … but sometimes … it felt like it, ye ken? [looks down into his water glass] I wanted tae feel loved by ye … but I ken ye dinna feel tha’ way aboot me sae I guess I was looking for it in other people. But I fucked it all up. Noo neither o’ them will love me like tha’.
I’m sorry I can’t love ye the way ye want to. Yer a good guy, Tris, ye deserve that. Is it important to ye that they love ye like that?
angusthescot:
are ye sure that means yer in love with them? maybe ye love and care about them the way I do you. Ye know I would do anything to make sure ye felt those ways about yerself
[takes a drink of the water, blinking in thought] Is … is tha’ a thing? I dinna ken wot it means. I try no’ tae feel onything aboot onyone. It’s tae confusing. This is why I dinna gae back an’ sleep wi’ the same people twice. I fucked myself over wi’ this. I jus’ … Lucy’s sae cool an’ fun an’ Sturgis is sae sad an’ … kind. I wasna used tae it. Ony o’ it. I wanted more … was tha’ selfish?
Feelings aren’t something ye can try at. They’re there or they’re not, even if you try to ignore them or make them happen. Of course it’s not selfish, Tristan. Wanting to feel loved, it’s human.
angusthescot:
What does it feel like? (moves to stand) stay there I’m going to get ye some water (he heads to the kitchen before returning with a glass) don’t drink it too fast I don’t need all what ye drank on my couch
I jus’ … feel warm when I’m wi’ them. An’ happy. An’ I wanna be wi’ them aw the time. I wanna make them smile an’ feel better aboot themselves an’… life in general, I guess …
are ye sure that means yer in love with them? maybe ye love and care about them the way I do you. Ye know I would do anything to make sure ye felt those ways about yerself
angusthescot:
other way? do ye think yer in love with both o’ them?
[sighs and sits back down] I dinna ken. Maybe? I dinna ken … I’m no’ used tae feeling like this. I’ve only ever felt it for ye.
What does it feel like? (moves to stand) stay there I’m going to get ye some water (he heads to the kitchen before returning with a glass) don’t drink it too fast I don’t need all what ye drank on my couch
angusthescot:
is that important to ye? to have them like that?
I canna ‘ave them the other way. No’ both o’ them.
other way? do ye think yer in love with both o’ them?
angusthescot:
I’m sure they don’t hate ye. They probably just need some time is all. Lucy’s not the kind that forgives and forgets easy, but it’s not impossible.Just give them some space, it’ll be okay. Come here (pulls him in for a hug) You’ll be okay, Tristy-mate
[hugs him back tightly] No. I’ve lost them, Angus. They willna want tae be wi’ me onymore. No’ like tha’.
is that important to ye? to have them like that?
angusthescot:
What are ye talkin’ about (asks as he shuts the door behind him, and starts to guide him over to sit)
I shouldna ‘ave slept wi’ them. I ken tha’. I jus’ … I like them, Angus. I like them so much. I dinnae want tae stop. But then they found oot. Lucy walked in on me wi’ Sturgis an’ she was sae upset an’ cryin’ an’ then Sturgis, he said it was best if we dinnae see each other onymore.
I’m sure they don’t hate ye. They probably just need some time is all. Lucy’s not the kind that forgives and forgets easy, but it’s not impossible.Just give them some space, it’ll be okay. Come here (pulls him in for a hug) You’ll be okay, Tristy-mate
