The Vampire Dies in no Time, Chapter 196: Draus Becomes a NūTuber
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(Translations by @lavoszero and myself. Edits and typesetting by myself)
Plain text below
Chapter 196: Draus Becomes a NūTuber
123
Draus: "Thank you for coming."
Draus:"Northdin, my friend, you seem to be doing well."
[Draus, an ancient vampire and Draluc's father.]
Northdin: "Oh drop the formalities, you usually call me when you have a problem, so what is it this time?"
[Northdin, an old friend of Draus and Draluc's mentor.]
Draus: "You're indeed correct, you see..."
Northdin: "Yes? What is it you want to discuss?"
Draus: " Well... just between you and me"
124
Draus: "I want to become a NūTuber..."
Northdin: "A what?"
125
Northdin: "You're not acting like your usual self. Aimlessly chasing a fad, has your brain finally become mush?"
[I am the vampire Mr. Tries-New-Things-on-a-Whim-Because-I-am-Just-That-Old]
Draus: "N-no!! I have a good reason for this!"
[Flashback]
Draus: "I asked Draluc if he wanted to partake in some father-son bonding, but, for some reason, he declined. 'I'm recording a video game commentary for Nūtube, so I can't right now.'
Draus: "So this is the Nūtube Draluc spoke of... If I do this too, I'm sure I'll be able to spend some quality time with Draluc!!"
[End flashback]
Northdin: "If you're going to flashback, at least have the decency to do so for five or more panels."
Draus: "Lend me your hand in making a spectacular NūTube debut!!"
Northdin: "No."
Northdin: "Firstly, that would be imitating humans."
Draus: "Don't say that Northdin! We're best friends, are we not!?"
Northdin: "A vampire such as yourself-"
Draus: "Please, best friend!"
Northdin: "You're doting on Draluc far too much-"
Draus: "I'm begging you! Please, best friend! Hey, best friend!! Hey, best friends!!"
126
Northdin: "I'm assuming you know what being a NūTuber entails?"
Draus: "Of course."
Draus: "For instance, videos like the ones Draluc uploads to NūTube…those kind get a plethora of comments and views, it's growth is simply awe-inspiring. Even as a budding Nūtuber, I'm certain I'll receive 200 quintillion(※) comments and views, then Draluc would say "My father is so great, check him out!"
Northdin: " Is there a reason behind you inflating those numbers?"
Northdin: "And? What are you planning to record?"
Draus: "A reading of my autobiography."
Northdin: "I see, so you have no plan."
Northdin: "Let’s see…humans generally have a desire to see that of which is forbidden to them. What if you filmed 'A Tour of a Vampire's Castle' to satiate that curiosity?"
Draus: "As Expecdin!" [* As expected of Northdin]
Draus: "Here, we can film without fearing my hordes of newly acquired human fans ever trespassing!"
Northdin: "Here, deep in the mountains of Tochigi. The closest station is an hour's walk."
Northdin: "Okay, let's start filming."
Draus: "Fufufu… Greetings Nūtube, I am the formidable vampire known as Draus."
127
Northdin: "Hey, you're not visible!"
Draus: "Huh?"
Northdin: "You can't buy a camera at random! Idiaus, did you go just with what the store clerk was trying to sell you without question!?"
Northdin: "We have no choice, clench your buttocks as if your life depends on it!!"
Draus: "Ugh, this is agony on my lower back. Huff."
Draus: "Allow me to gracefully show you around the place. Bah, it's so difficult to move while constantly clenching, I'm as stiff as that robot C3-P0!! Now I've lost my train of thought, what to say, what to say."
Draus: "Th... th-this is the rose garden of our castle..."
[Ring ring rinring]
Draus: "Ack, it's the six o' clock bell."
Northdin: "After all, we're deep in the mountains of Tochigi."
[It's time for good children to return home]
[Two hours later]
Draus: "E-enough!! I give in!! End it, end it..."
Northdin: "Finally, I've had enough of this nonsense."
Draus: "One... I have one last question."
Northdin: "Well, what is it?"
Draus: "I often see text at the bottom of the screen, how does it appear? How can I recreate that………?"
[He's referring to captions]
128
Northdin: "Just cut some letters out of cardboard, then make them float with telekinesis."
Draus: "As Expecdin!"
[Thus marked Draus's first remarkable upload to NūTube."
[Some days later]
Draus: "There's no views on it at aaaall. This isn't good enough for Draluc, it's not good at all, I should just curl up into a ball like a pill big."
Northdin: "You can't expect immediate results from a single upload. the key to viewership is persistence."
Draus: "As Expecdin!"
Draus: "The view and comment count is as dead as can be, I'm a shriveled worm on the sidewalk."
Northdin: "Film your familiars or other animals, animals are strong attention grabbers.
Draus: "It's hopeless. I should lie down and die. I'm the smallest potato in a picking contest."
Northdin: "Watch videos from those that succeed before you as reference."
Draus: "I'm ending it all, goodbye. I'm more lowly than a slug, I'm the slime it secretes."
Northdin: "Showcase your unique abilities in your videos."
Draus: "The portly victim that's eaten first in a zombie movie"
Northdin: "Clench you buttocks."
Draus: "Mrs. Carmody from The Mist
Draus: "Jar Jar Binks."
Draus: "Monjayai."
Draus: "Blegh."
[Some days later]
Draus: "I had a 'revelation,' North. Everything I've tried up until now, it was all wrong.
Draus: "I feel as if I received a true, divine 'epiphany,' it's so simple. All that I must do now is to put this into action… fufufu, I feel so at bliss."
[A dreadful foreboding washed over Northdin; his friend is going down a dangerous path, yet he knew he was too late to stop him.]
129
[Ronaldo Vampire Hunter Agency, Shin-Yokohama]
Draluc: "Now then, let's check on the Dora Dora Channel and see what uplifting comments we've received."
[Clack]
Draluc: "Oh? We got recommended a video?
Draus: "Hello, NūTube, welcome the awe-inspiring vampire Draus's channel."
Draluc: "Mih?"
130
Draus: "Now, To commemorate this first Installment, I’ve decided to give you all tour of my castle, so that you may understand my awe. Come on, cameraman!"
[Great English]
Draus: "This is the hallway, it's quite wide and long. Amazing isn't it~?"
[Hallway]
Draus: "This is the rose garden of our castle..."
[Ring ring rinring]
Draus: "Ack, it's the six o' clock bell."
Draus: "And here is the living room… well, that's all for now."
[The End]
[View Count: 2 Views]
[1 comment]
[It was a truly amazing castle!! I'm looking forward to the next video!! Mr. Draus is so cool!!☆]
[It was a truly amazing castle!! I'm looking forward to the next video!! Mr. Draus is so cool!!☆
[Comment by: Draus]
131
[More videos by this user]
[Video List: 67 Videos]
Draus: "Hello, Nūtube, today I'll introduce you to my amazing familiars."
Draus: "These rodents are my familiars. This one is Chuo and the other one is Chuko]
[Chuo, Chuko]
[Chu chu]
Draus: "Their favorite food is cheese. Uh... that is all.
[The End]
[Mr Draus is super cool! Even his rodents are amazing~ Let's all comment more.
[Comment by: Draus]
Draluc: Naaaaaaaaaa
[Breaking point]
132
Draus: "Tonight, I, Draus, will sing a special awe-inspiring song for you all. Ave, Maria, please, add meee to your playliiist."
[2 views]
Draus: "Tonight, I will perform my special awe-inspiring Draus dance. Here we go! Du-dun da dan, dun da dan."
[2 views]
Draus: "Greetings, Nūtube, for Tonight, I—everyone's favorite, Draus—will be partaking in the steaming hot Tenshinhan challenge. HOT!"
[2 views]
HYaaaA—, tonight, I thought I'd try digging a 15m trench in the garden for no reason in particular!"
[Dig dig dig dig dig dig]
Draluc: "He's in meltdown mode..."
133
Draluc: "? The view count on this next video, it's...
Draus: "Welcome, dear viewers, tonight I will share with you the wonders of my son, Draluc. Firstly, Draluc is the most adorable being in the universe. his cuteness is, without a doubt, a universal law."
[Photo album]
Draluc: "WAH!"
[Next Video]
Draluc: "AAA"
Draluc: "AAAA"
Draus: "In the beginning, there was Draluc. And Draluc said, "Let there Shin- Yokohama," and there was Shin-Yokohama."
[The Splendor of Draluc 53, Draus Channel 5920 views]
[The Splendor of Draluc 54, Draus Channel 6274 views]
[The Splendor of Draluc 55, Draus Channel 8517 views]
[The Splendor of Draluc 56, Draus Channel 10K views]
Draluc: "NUWBEHLGUBEHAO--!!!"
[26 Comments]
User1: "You love your son way too much (lol
User2: "Doxxed"
User3: "Lmao are you really his dad? lol"
Draus: "I love my son just as every father should.
"Doxxed? What do you mean by that?
"Of course I am his biological father. I am both a formidable man and the biological father of Draluc."
134
[Pat]
[Shift shift shift...]
[Heh]
[The Draluc Dance of Infinite Rage]
[Morale]
[After that, Draluc bombarded his father with attention non-stop until he forgot about NūTube.]
Draluc: "From now on, you're going to play Vonverman with me every night!"
Draus: "Eh, ah-"
Draluc: "Quiet! And as for tomorrow, we're going to hang out at Nezumi land until dawn!"
[Nu-end]
[Death 196: End]
Translator's notes.
Page 6 (128)
Draus normally uses "watashi" but uses "ore" when he's upset.
Literally he refers to Mrs. Carmody as "ミストのババア." Apparently it's some unaffectionate nickname for her.
Monjayaki is a "controversial" dish in Japan because it looks like barf.
スガスガしい気分だ ("I feel so at bliss") is a pretty famous Dio (Jojo) quote.
Page 7 (129)
ミ゜ ("Mih") is a JPN meme for the sound a cicada makes before dying.
Page 8 (130)
In the first panel, Draus literally says "Camera, come on. (written in katakana as "キャメラ カモン"). As indicated with a note above, he says it with a great pronunciation, so you know with "great English."
Page 9 (131)
Chuo and Chuko can translated as "Mr. and Ms. Squeak" in English. However, Draus has a tendency to give thing simple Japanese names (his coffin name is "Kuro," he calls John "Marusuke") so there's no point in translating it in the text.
"Hyaaaa" is a meme based on what brainless mooks scream from Fist of the Northstar (it's usually written as "ヒャッハー").
I present... the character relationship chart from the second official fanbook! Thanks again to the Kyuushi Discord server for the scans, Aroshi for help with cleaning, Shells for proofreading, and Crimson for Mebi's "fry" 😆❗
Like last time, there are some notes under the cut!
↓
Mippiki: As a reminder, this word is a combination of "three people + one small animal (armadillo)" and refers to Rona, Draluc, John, and Hinaichi.
Little-big Bro: Himari calls Rona "chii-nii" (小兄) to differentiate between him and their eldest brother, Hiyoshi. Ironic considering their heights…
God of Popularity Polls: In case you're wondering who that random old man is with arrows to Rona and Draluc, that's him, the God of Popularity Polls. Ura-Shinyoko stole his seiyuu in the anime…
Bio-employees: Autumn is capable of just growing living entities like Rokumon and Chinoike in their lab. Very normal publishing company.
Cement: Chinoike's gimmick is that he only speaks in wrestling terms. I don't know anything about wrestling myself but Google tells me that a "cement style" wrestling match is a serious match where both parties do their best to genuinely win, as compared to an exhibition type match which is more staged/for fun?
Niga, Sanga: Kuwabara and Sanzu are a ninja and kunoichi respectively. Their village names are parodies of the famed Iga ninja. Ni means 2, san means 3.
Useful mobs: Mob = background character. Bonnoki and the fandom's beloved bg boys Miki Kanae and Yoshida Terukazu-san❗❗ There's lore behind these 2 but I won't get into all that here, I just want to mention that Yoshida-san is based off a real person's art. Hopefully we'll get to see the 3rd useful mob in a relationship chart someday!
Piyo-chan: Ventrue accidentally made himself appear as this cute bird avatar on a Noom (Zoom parody) call with the other old bloods. They'll never let him live it down.
Black Silhouette: This is the three brothers' mother, Gabriella! Her face was hidden for quite some time before she finally made a fully drawn appearance in chapter 297.
As always please do take my translations with a grain of salt; I'm just a fan translator and while I did have someone help me with proofreading, the possibility of mistakes remains. If you have any questions or comments feel free to reach out to me here on tumblr or on Discord, @ ash in the Kyuushi server.
This is legitimately difficult because like prev, I also mostly have comfort shows, not films. What movies I rewatch is entirely dependent on my mood, but here are some I almost always want to rewatch:
1. Hellboy (2004)
2. Tucker and Dale VS Evil
3. Hot Fuzz
4. Donnie Darko
5. The Crow
6. The Ref (1994)
7. Breakfast with Scot
Tagging: @magnaflourious-nerdity @negative-speedforce @vexic929 @buzzsawbravado @shrinkthisviolet if any of you want to, and anyone else I’m mutuals with
Omg! Thanks for the tag @hxghball this looks like fun! Sadly though I don’t consume a lot of tv shows or movies, so I can’t fill up all seven slots, but I do have five comfort films that I can think of instantly.
1) Lemonade Mouth
2) Birds of Prey (and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn)
3) Pokémon: Destiny Deoxys
4) The Suicide Squad
5) Detective Pikachu
I don’t have many mutuals (I think) here, so I’ll tag accounts I like: @betterthanbatman1 @daydreamerwonderkid @jayselegy and @wrdn-tabris I hope y’all don’t mind
oh heck! >.< I don't know if i have more than 3 comfort movies tbh. I'll put others that i really like and watch or suggest for movie night with friends.
Moulin Rouge
10 Things I Hate About You
Star Trek: Beyond
Howl's Moving Castle
Lord of the Rings Trilogy Extended Version
Spider-man: Into the Spiderverse
The Legend of Hei
i'll tag @kirajockstrap @nevoadecaipora @sunset-diamond @adhdrogue @sambuchito @corrupted-willy ; but do it only if y'all want to. ^^
thanks for the tag @weaver0fwords 💖🥹 (most of these are not comfort per se but i've seen them lots of times and still love them, no particular order either)
新宿マルイ アネックス7階キャラメキストアにて開催される「吸血鬼すぐ死ぬ2 POP UP SHOP」のグッズ用イラストを担当させていただきました。
「雪遊び」をテーマにテーマにキュートでユニークな面々を描かせていただいています。
I was in charge of illustrations for the goods of “The Vampire dies in no time Partners2 POP UP SHOP” to be held at Shinjuku Marui Annex 7th floor. I drew cute and unique members on the theme of playing in the snow.
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無断転載・無断使用を禁じます。SNS等に画像を保存して投稿するのはおやめください。
Please do not save and post the images on social networking sites.
Heyooo! I spent the last year creating an incredibly self indulgent Ronadora Pinup calendar!
❤💜Pre0rder here!! ❤💜
I'm putting them up for preorder from today (12/06/23) to 12/16/23! Orders are to United States only, for now. This is my first time selling, so plz be kind ;w;
(And shoutout to @biscuitgeekery for the awesome product photos!)
tangentwithtanner
prguitarman
izzy806
dededos
origamiaround
snowghoul
