life after baby
so a few things surprised me on this postpartum journey I am sharing with Emma
one) I thought I didn’t need a baby monitor because I presumed I or someone would alway be in the same room as Emma would be, that however is not the case. There are many times where I need to shower and Bryan (my boyfriend & Emma’s dad) is cooking in the kitchen. I didn’t initially have a baby monitor in my registry but I am glad to have had it gifted to us.
two) I thought my skin would go back to normal or remain the same as it had throughout my pregnancy. WRONG!! I did maintain dry skin, the sensitivity went away but now whiteheads and texture have moved in to the center of my face. Everyone said your skin changes after the baby is born that may be the case but I suspect it is lack of proper care and interruption of a skincare routine, do to caring for your new bundle of joy, is the real culprit.
(I can write up my prenatal skincare routine as well as my postpartum skincare routine if anyone is interested.)
three) You realize how much people are willing to help you. Not just immediate family or close friends but just most people in general. Even a simple gesture in saying they are willing to babysit, it’s nice knowing people are happy to help you in small ways.
four) MOM FRIENDS! You now have a new connection with your friends who were moms before you. Of course you can always seek advice and concerns from your own mom and aunts but young, more recent and modern mom friends come in so handy. Also I going through your postpartum life with brand new moms sharing the same birth month as you, heck the same birth season! I along with six other girls I know just delivered their first or second child this year. And I am so happy to share my baby’s milestones with them. It’s nice to talk to someone going through the same situations as you even though the may differ a bit. I am excited watching their kids grow along with my baby.
five) Little things. You don’t know how much of the bare minimum you can live on. Especially if your funds are limited and say maybe you have to work on one income. So you things bought are the necessary and the little indulges you sacrifice hold a little more value than they did before. Showers. Between catching up on sleep and what feels like constant baby holding showers slip away from you. So when you finally get the chance to take a long decent shower the feeling is so overwhelming. Like being caught in a vacuum surrounded in a drowning sound loud but not too loud, you feel able to catch up on the thoughts in your head. Showers become a sweet blissful escape. A rain melting over you cleansing the physical, emotional and mental elements of your being.
I have not yet felt like a parent, of course I feel like a mom because I see my daughter and I want nothing else in the world but to be with her always. But parent feels like something I need to graduate to, I have not yet met the prerequistes of achieve such esteem. Each day I am with my daughter I learn more about her being and we grow a grander continuous unbreakable bond. Love is a complete new feeling now; giving life to a child diminishes yourself as a child. You suddenly realize how small you are and how invalid your attitude has been towards your own parents. Though I am still their child while having a child of my own, I feel I so undeserving of their unconditional love throughout all the years I defied them. I refused to think my relationship with my parents could grow into something more loving and could beam with so much more gratitude but you find what they are still willing to do for you. You find you are still their baby though you carry yours in your arms now. My child has changed me for the better, I am a better person because of her, I want to be a better person because of her. There is always room to grow, it is never too late to change attitudes or repair broken relationships. I thank my child for being the catalyst to this next chapter we are about to embark, I can’t wait to become a better person as we grow together in each other’s eyes.
