Meanderings of an overthinker...

[annoyedoverthinker]

Pondering

So many changes in my workplace. I was very upset with my boss who didn’t give me a good performance review because he knew he wouldn’t be getting a good one. My 2 colleagues who joined shortly before I did left. This is after 2 of my friends from other departments left.  None of the people that I talk to in the mornings are at my workplace.  It’s terribly lonely.  There are also wider changes to the organisation - massive ones which mean a lot of work and job cuts.  Ideally, I wouldn’t want to stay, but at the same time, I need to continue working and caring for my kids during the big exam year.  Why is it so many people can find better jobs so easily?  I’m so small, and don’t have connections. I’m not rich, I don’t socialise with the right group of people, I don’t network... Maybe I’m foolish, but I don’t even begin to know how.  

I am looking at the characters of the senior managers in my organisation and am thinking that they are horrible people. They are mostly ruthless bullies who would throw people under the bus to get as much money as possible.  I’m very disillusioned and tired of this industry.  And yet, this is the industry where I have honed my skills.  Sigh.  Maybe it’s this organisation and another one would be better.

[annoyedoverthinker]

Happy Resurrection Sunday!

As the church goes through a time of uncertainty and shaking, let’s not forget the reason why we came together in the first place - our Lord Jesus Christ!

[annoyedoverthinker]

Whiny Guy finally resigned! Woo hoo!

Now he is throwing a tantrum because I said it’s unlikely that we can abridge his notice period. This is DISCRETIONARY. He was offended because I couldn’t say that the business won’t be affected by the abridgement.

He is claiming that he wants an abridgement on compassionate grounds. All he has provided is an email saying that he would like an abridgement to “attend to family matters”. “Compassionate grounds” usually means that someone is dying/going to die!

[annoyedoverthinker]

This has been said to me quite a few times when someone doesn’t want to take ownership of their area of responsibility - why don’t we get [name of junior staff in my team] to do the work?

That is not right. If it is your area of responsibility, you jolly well take it on and delegate to whoever in your team. It is NOT a solution for me for you to dump it on a junior member of my team!

[annoyedoverthinker]

Birthday thoughts

As I get older in years, I worry about different things - how to remain employable, how to deal with strands of white hair, whether I can do something different other than the work I have been doing for the last 20 years. It could be a mid-life crisis, wanting to do something more meaningful, but also feeling that I can’t leave this job because I have to provide for the family. I envy those people who have partners who can support them and they seem to live without a care in the world, buying whatever they want, completely insulated from the rising petrol prices and cost of living.

At the same time, I wouldn’t trade my life for any other. The kids woke up early to set up a birthday banner, cook breakfast and organise games for my husband and I to celebrate my birthday belatedly. As I wore the silly party hat, and ate the breakfast, I am thankful to be surrounded by love in these times. 

[annoyedoverthinker]

Excuses from co-workers

In view of the lame excuses I have heard from co-workers recently, I have decided to keep an ongoing list of these to commemorate the lameness:

1.  I can’t attend a work call because my child needs to use the office-issued computer for a Zoom class. (Even though co-worker’s child usually uses her personal iPad).

2. I didn’t know I had to notify my manager that I intend to take sick leave and not show up for work on a particular day. This wasn’t in my KPIs. (After repeatedly going missing in action and citing minor ailments. Specifically stated in the Employee Handbook).

3. I was feeling emotional because my mother didn’t want to make a doctor’s appointment. (After being confronted for hardly doing any work without any communication for a week).

4. Oh! You mean I have to attend team meetings? But this isn’t a specific KPI.

5. We are in a pandemic and I am too emotional to be productive (for 2 years, while happily attending every department wine-down session).

6. I didn’t realise that I should introduce myself to the new boss. (Remote worker, when it was suggested to him that he should introduce himself to the new boss after she joined the organisation for a month).

7. I’m feeling demotivated because we couldn’t hire a replacement headcount for the team. (Same excuse for 3 years, when asked why very little work was done).

[annoyedoverthinker]

Just 2 words...

pandemic fatigue

[annoyedoverthinker]

The Working Christian Mom

I am a full-time working mother. I am also a Christian. Why is it that there’s so little support for women like me? I find my job sometimes stressful, and I also find parenting sometimes stressful. Yet I find that there is so little support for women like me in church.  

Some time ago, I attended a parenting seminar held by my church. The pastor shared about how it was so difficult to ask his wife to stop work, because she was more highly educated than him. During a later part of the seminar, his wife also said, “I do hope you are home when your children come home from school.” (Kids come home from school mid-afternoon in my country, so working moms won’t be home). The pastor and his wife are lovely people, but it seems that the church’s position is that mothers shouldn’t work at all. The family should lower their standard of living, so as to allow the mother not to work. If the mother must work (and this should be absolutely necessary), they should work in a part time job or some “easy” job, so that they can concentrate on their families.  

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not some hardcore, ambitious career woman, but I do take my job seriously and work hard at it. I juggle housework, a full-time job and the kids and at times, it feels too much. My husband and my kids are incredibly supportive, but I find that there are very few Christian resources for me, as if my job is something to be ashamed of.

[annoyedoverthinker]

Dryer Woes

I did some laundry yesterday but it rained all day. I needed my laundry dried by yesterday evening. Let me tell you about my dryer.

My dryer is about 8 years and started giving problems about 2 months ago. It tumbles but with no heat, and beats a LOT. Last month, I call the repairman and the dryer decided to work perfectly while the repairman was around. It tumbled well with heat and NO strange beats. I thought I would give the dryer a chance and not replace it. However, since the repairman left, I have not had to use my dryer much, but when I had to use it, there is still no heat.

Yesterday evening, when I NEEDED it to work, it decided to under-perform even more, and despite hours of tumbling, my laundry was not dry. I raged at it and started browsing the internet for secondhand dryers.

This morning, as if it heard me, my dryer worked PERFECTLY - with heat and everything.

Unbelievable. My dryer is mocking me. Grrrr....

#clothesdryerwoes

#laundrywoes

[annoyedoverthinker]

Attended a pet funeral today. Second one this year, 3rd pet of people close to me. First, the in-laws’ dog passed away. Then my sister’s adopted dog passed away. Now a close friend’s beloved cat.

Brought the kids along. They were sad but I would rather them go through the process.

Sigh. 2020.

[annoyedoverthinker]

Why do people act like they are doing everyone a favour by actually doing the tiniest piece of work?

And it’s not like they do it well...

[annoyedoverthinker]

Friends send photos of their nutritious WFH breakfasts. I send my photo of my breakfast for the past months - morning coffee in the same mug.

You can’t say I’m inconsistent!

[annoyedoverthinker]

You know you are in a toxic workplace when your co-worker throws tantrums at work (Quote: ”What’s wrong with everyone? I’m having my PERIOD, I don’t want to talk to ANYONE!!!”), and during your review, you get told that you have to be “understanding” of her unprofessional behaviour because she’s the youngest in her family.

Dear (now ex-) boss, she’s 36.  Who cares if she has 3 older siblings?  Surely it’s not too much to ask her to be professional in a workplace.

[annoyedoverthinker]

Co-worker in my team falls sick quite often and is used to dropping everything on me after getting a note from the doctor. I rarely take sick leave.

One day, I had the audacity to be sick on the same day as Co-worker. First and only time in 2 plus years. Co-worker was so outraged that he marched into the boss’ office and told the boss that the boss needs to hire one more person in the team to deal with situations like that.

I stayed in the office and beavered on. Co-worker went home on sick leave.

Entitled much?

[annoyedoverthinker]

Worst day of 2020 for me. Disappointed, so disappointed that God didn’t answer my prayer, something I have been fervently praying for all year. Not even a window. The door slammed shut in our faces. Why, Lord? Why?