Ā Ā Ā josh usually reserves daytime meetups for his overbearing parents to remind him of his terrible decision making compared to his sisters ( hilarious considering his sisters inherited the same bullshit gene as himself ) but he really has been spiraling downwards after a few weeks of isolation and wouldnāt mind talking to a friend. while he is usually the one doing majority of the listening and adding a couple of mhmās and yeahās to whatever theyāre telling him to remind them that heās still there and listening, he doesnāt even notice that natalieās attention is elsewhere. hell, heās quite enjoying the bullshit tangent heās going on about bethāsā anti-plastic debate that happened when he brought a precut watermelon and a slushie back from the market. do not ask him why the hell he went to a market near midnight for just a watermelon and stopping by a 7-11 for a fucking cherry slushie. he would joke and say itās his crippling depression ( becauseā¦wellā¦yeah ) but the last time he said that beth cancelled her plans for the next two weeks and stayed with him like a babysitter ā and still has yet to leave.
Ā Ā Ā natalieās unresponsiveness goes completely unnoticed by an erratic hand-jestering, coffee spilling josh as he speaks about college. the professors, students, papers all shit. he doesnāt need a degree for a field of work that would never hire him unless his parents waved their money around. what is even the purpose? he mentions just dropping out and not telling his family until they go on their respective tripsĀ ā josh can argue that itās for his mental health ( partially true ) and he will go back next semester ( a whole lie ) or he can just not tell them at all and pretend heās attending but thatās a lie that requires too much work. he would have kept rambling about the logistics for each option if natalie didnāt take him out of his own miseryĀ interrupt his nonsense. josh isnāt even really sure what to say and just lets out an immediate āhmpfā in response.Ā āwell, shit. am i supposed to get you a danish in celebration or what? you did say yes right?āĀ
Ā Ā Ā if natalie were in a different space mentally ( or, indeed, if she were a better friend ) sheād notice that josh is more talkative than normal, and perhaps try and figure out if thereās a particular reason why. instead, sheās too wrapped up in her own bullshit, her thoughts travelling at a million miles an hour and showing no signs of stopping ---- however, they do begin to slow down when it becomes apparent that sheād clumsily drawn attention to the elephant in the room ( the elephant that was invisible to all but her, but an elephant nonetheless ) and josh, as anybody would, assumes she said yes. or answered poor henry at all. because thatās what you do when someone you love asks to spend the rest of their life with you, right ? say yes ? without a doubt. an excited, grin-infested, enthusiastic yes. when someone has put up with all your crap -- and lord knows thereās been a lot -- over the last seven years and is willing to take on whatever further loads of shit you want to throw their way for the foreseeable future... you say yes, right ? when there isnāt anybody else you see yourself spending the rest of your life with --- or anybody you could even stomach being tethered to at all for that long, in fact --- thereās no question, really... right ? natalie leans in across the table as if she hadnāt quite heard him correctly, brow furrowed, before pulling back so enthusiastically that her back knocks against the back of her chair uncomfortably, shaking her head.Ā āi didnāt say anything ! i -- iām twenty-two, how is that even a question ? you canāt know anything about someone and if you want to spend the rest of your life with them, he--- he canāt know he wants to spend the rest of his life with me.ā
Ā Ā Ā with the toxic mixture of caffeine and a lack of sleep bubbling away inside her, natalieās tripping over her words.Ā āi donāt even know his---ā she tries to find something, desperately wracking her brain for something, anything, about henry she doesnāt know that she can forcibly deem relevant enough to add to her very short stack of reasons why she should say no to his proposal.Ā āi donāt know anything about him !ā she settles for eventually, folding her arms over her chest. when it comes down to it, the problem lies with her ( ha, doesnāt it always ? ) and the unshakeable fear that sheāll end up like her parents. they married young, eloped, started a family as just kids themselves, and then her father watched her mother slowly disappear and become an unstable, unpredictable, and outright unpleasant ghost of a woman he once knew, and natalie knows that could be her one day. she could lose it, too, and leave henry trying his best to be a carer for someone he was one a partner to. he deserves better than that. he deserves better than her. ādo you have a xanax or something ? itās warm. are you warm ?ā she asks, ringless left hand coming up to scratch the back of her neck. itās fine. itās fine, itās fine, itās fine. though her leg is still jiggling under the table, she silently reminds herself over and over that everything is fine, and after a few seconds, the crease in her forehead smooths out, her shoulders relax, and she actually allows herself to make eye contact with josh. stress has been clouding her judgement, and seems to have turned her into a bumbling idiot with half the iq she actually has, but although itās a little late, sheās realised something; joshās mind mustāve gone to him initially assuming sheād said yes for a reason, right ? āwould you say yes ?ā she asks, clearly far calmer than she was moments ago.Ā āif someone asked you to marry them, like, right now, youād say yes ?ā
titsay
theartofmadeline
tangentwithtanner
blakekathryn
annaxmalina
areudirty
2087
