Holy fuck look at all this blue.

Stupid art, dumb smut, one metric fuckton of rebloggings.

[dirkgentlyafterdark]

[tedwassanasong]

My fav vine ever

[shoolis]

Reblog this if you aren’t a COWARD

[anotherfuckingbluewolf]

I screamed at work.

[veryfunnymemes]

[argumate]

an apocalyptic cult prophetically warning that the world won’t end, ever

[argumate]

it’s just going to keep going on like this, groans dismal prophet

[tlatotem]

Mythbusters ended too soon. I feel like The Cask Of Amontillado is exactly the myth they would have tested.

Like, figuring out how long it takes the mortar to dry. Finding the maximum amount of time before knocking down a recently built brick wall. Establishing the best place on a recently bricked wall to topple it and escape.

And then, doing all of that while drunk.

Mythbusters, you left us too soon.

[rabbit-exe]

actually, they made that episode – I have a copy of it in my basement, wanna see?

[tlatotem]

Would I?!

[mayes-the-fox]

The delivery of these lines is better than anything else I’ve ever seen 

[maswartz]

WELCOME BACK! For those who logged off, this is what you missed.

1. @staff made a post pretty much saying “Your stuff isn’t getting deleted, just hidden from everyone but you” and “Yeah we know you hate the term “female presenting nipples” but we ain’t gonna stop saying it” 2. If a blog has a pixelated icon that means they got hit by the ban, you cannot view that blog outside the sidebar. You cannot even view their archive. Allegedly if you follow the advice in this post it’ll be fixed but only if it was an accidental flag (aka a real sfw blog) 3. The post Staff made including examples of what was ok to post. It got flagged. 4. Yes, the bots are still here. Yes they are still stealing posts and putting porn links on them. Yes there are still ads with stuff more sexual than they allow in posts. Yes innocent things are still getting flagged. 5. So yes, the site is still here and staff are still morons.

[theshittyfoodblog]

Wine glass full of Mac and cheese garnished with two dinosaur chicken nuggets.

[catchymemes]

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

I don’t hang out with white dudes who use mustache wax anymore bc it’s only a matter of time b4 they fall in love with me and find out I’m gay and write a song on their…idk..their fuckin harpsichord or banjo or ukulele about the girl from the forest who broke their heart but also they don’t even like hiking

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

i know this seems oddly specific & that’s bc it is

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

3 times

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

people keep asking me to link the songs and the fact that y’all think these dudes have soundcloud or recording equipment or even the intent to put in any work is already giving them too much credit. this type of man specifically performs this song to you, without warning, at a small get-together with friends, maybe even in public, making sure you are absolutely cornered, when they’re day-drunk on craft beers.

[glumshoe]

Human: “It must be a dreary existence, unable to love, to eat, to sleep, to laugh… I feel sorry for you.” Robot: “I can laugh. I have a sense of humor, you know.” Human: “Really? I’ve never heard you laugh before.” Robot: “I’ve never heard you say anything funny.”

[catgirlcaliphate]

Hello 911 I’d like to report a violation of the First Law of Robotics, this robot just straight up murdered a human

[memewhore]

[tittily]

once again it’s that time of year where my brother puts up the Holiday Decoration

[out-there-on-the-maroon]

Every year, this post surprises me and I laugh.

[dimetrodrawn]

I wonder whats for dinner…

[anotherpapercut]

apparently my boss who is a professor at my school doesn’t have a cell phone and his coworkers were upset by this so they bought him a childs toy phone and labeled it “David’s jitterbug” (for those of you that don’t know jitterbugs are phones made for old people that have like massive buttons and shit) so the other day I walked into his office to ask him a question and he pressed a button on it which made it start loudly playing the ABCs and he said “excuse me I have to take this” and then started singing along to the ABCs while shooing me out of his office

[anotherpapercut]

this is the phone. he apparently was in the middle of a meeting with the department the other day and got annoyed so he pressed a button, said “I have to take this” and left

[beka-tiddalik]

David’s co-workers probably: “This is a valid tactic to embarrass him into buying a mobile phone, right?”

David: “Bold of you to assume that I get embarrassed.”

[sketchedramblings]

I love this way too much

[hunlarpfag]

The best parts I like about old treaties is when the masters teach you some real, everyday life survival skills / advice, sometimes oddly specific. I’m talking about the REAL stuff, not the usual “if he do this then counter it by stabbing them in the face“ Examples: “When you have a rapier some people use in the other hand a cape, or a parry dagger, but just take a pistol and decide for yourself what’s the best off-hand weapon” “If there is a large group coming for you, throw your sword at them this way, then run in the other direction REALLY fucking fast. _Buy a new sword as soon as possible_”  “If you have a disagreement with someone and he is stronger than you hold up your sword like a cross and ‘vow to this cross’ that you will make peace with him. When he isn’t paying attention bash his face with the pommel.“ “If someone tries to do the ‘cross trick’ to you put your hand on it saying ‘I vow to it too’ so he can’t bash your face with it“ “Some people put acidic/poisonous stuff in a hole in their mace so when they swing at you it will also go into your eyes. You TOTALLY won’t do this dishonorable thing, but here is the recipe for that stuff for the sake of knowledge“ “If in a duel you have to change swords with your opponent to make sure there is no cheating, and his sword is more expensive than yours, just run the fuck away with it.“