1) A boy telling you youâre pretty wonât make you see the beauty in the fullness of your cheeks, in redness of your lips at 2 in the morning when tequila is making the bar bathroom spin. He canât take away the ugliness that you see in yourself, you have to do that.
2) You have to be ready to hear someone say they love you. You have to be ready, and you have to be willing, and you have to listen. Because sometimes, they wonât say those three words, theyâll put a blanket over you while youâre watching a movie, theyâll kiss your cheek when they think youâre asleep, theyâll smile when they see you first thing in the morning. But you, you have to be willing to see it, feel it, let it in. Letting someone love you takes practice.
3) Donât make compromises you canât live with. Compromise is a different version of what you want, not a whole other Universe.
4) Learn to say no. No - to a movie you donât want to watch; no - to sex you donât want to have, no- to a relationship thatâs driving you mad. Say no - to things that hurt you, to people that extinguish your fire, to jobs you hate and places that are desolate. There are bad things that we canât control, bad things that happen and we are sucked into and have to feel with every fibre of our being, but the rest - learn to distance yourself, learn to say no.
5) Donât expect people to walk through fire for you - not your parents, not your friends, not the person youâre in love with. Love doesnât mean sacrifice, love shouldnât mean sacrifice. Donât expect someone to give away pieces of them, so they could fit you better. And donât feel hurt when they refuse to - itâs self-preservation. Instead - learn from them. Do it as well.
6) Donât tether yourself to people. Learn to make connections, to love, with both your feet steady on the ground. Learn to let people pass through your life; like a summer breeze, not a storm thatâs just been unleashed.
7) Learn the difference between growth and growing up before itâs too late. Rooftops and water fights and ice cream for breakfast can be a part of your life at 10, 25, or 35. But by the time youâre 35 you need to learn to say enough, to be able to walk away, you need to be able to love yourself. Love yourself the way you loved yourself at 10, before the world had a chance to fill your head with ugliness.
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