Combating Anxiety

[anxieteddy]

Day 89

Haven't updated in a while. I started on one and a half pills a while ago (I'll get the exact date for the sake of logging later) because I had a huge meltdown while on campus. More on that (including when) later

[anxieteddy]

Day 12

I forgot to write this down. I went to visit my mother for Thanksgiving on the weekend of the 10th-12th. On the 12th I caught a bus at 10pm to go home, since I had class at 9am. I had to wait for three hours outside of the bus station for my bus. My grandma waited with me, so I wasn't outside in the cold, haha. Around 8pm I started to get a headache, so I took a Tylenol. I also started to get nauseated. Arund 9:30pm, I started to catch on that it wasn't a headache from my escitalopram, but actually one of my migraines. At 10pm I took my Aleve, but I didn't want to take any Gravol until I caught my transfer because Gravol makes me drowsy and I didn't want to miss it. God, it was horrible. I tried to sleep on the bus, but I kept feeling like I was gonna have to walk to the bathroom on the bus and throw up. I managed not to. I took the Gravol. When I woke up at the bus station in Toronto, the migraine was mostly gone. I caught my transfer without issue. I hate that I can't tell whether the headache/nausea combo is from my medication or from a migraine. It kind of psyched me out. Oh well.

[anxieteddy]

Day 21

I’ve started on the full pill. Nothing too much to report so far.

[anxieteddy]

Day 6

This was a couple days ago, but relevant.

I went to visit a friend and we went out for sushi and saw The Martian (super good movie). I took my pills an hour later since the movie went on past 10pm, and then I got on a bus about 40 minutes after that. I got off the first bus, went to catch my transfer, waited 15 minutes. After a minute on the next bus (which was the last of the night) the nausea hit me hard. Like, violently nauseous. Aggressively nauseous. It took all my self-control not to hurl on the bus. It was horrible. I couldn't just get off the bus, because it was the last one and I'd be stranded. So I kept forcing it down. The last 3 minutes were the worst. I thought, "This is it. I'm gonna have to apologize to the bus driver for throwing up on his bus." But somehow, I have no idea how, I managed to just not throw up. As soon as I got off, I stumbled over to the fence and lost it. Barely anything came up, definitely not as much as if I'd let go on the bus. But nothing else was happening, so i went home, got a bucket, took some gravol, and went to bed. Woke up with a splitting headache, took a tylenol, stayed inside all day. That was the worst nausea I've felt outside of migraines. Figured it was note-worthy for the purpose of this blog.

[anxieteddy]

Day 2

I slept almost 12 hours. That’s the first time I’ve managed to sleep so long since I started going to bed earlier (before 1am, but most often between 10 and 11:30). I kept waking up and normally I feel ready to get up in the morning these days, but I kept rolling over and going back to sleep. It was kind of weird.

No headache or nausea so far today. No drowsiness either, but after 12 hours of sleep, I’d be pretty annoyed if there was! Just doing some homework now. Gonna grab lunch soon.

[anxieteddy]

Day 1 - Update

My doctor explained that taking anti-inflammatories excessively with my anti-depressants can cause internal bleeding. Woohoo. So, I’ll take Tylenol for the headaches from now on. I still need the Aleve for my migraines, but they’re only about once a month, so she said it’s nothing to really worry about. I’ll just keep an eye out for the signs if bleeding (massive bruises, nosebleed, etc) and if something happens, I know what’s up.

I’ll be taking my second dose tonight. I’m not sure how bad I’ll feel in the morning. I don’t have to go up to a full pill until I feel comfortable enough, so I likely won’t increase my dose until I can go a few days without the side-effects. 

[anxieteddy]

Europa

A short little aside to explain the name of my blog:

My counselor suggested I get a plush toy of some sort to pet. It helps me calm down. She has a golden retriever that I’m constantly tugging into my lap and stroking over the fur while we talk. It makes our sessions easier on me.

I went to Wal Mart and saw giant teddy bears for sale, $15. There were hippos and monkeys and dogs, but the shape of the bear just felt right. We went back later that night when I couldn’t get my mind off of it.

I bought the one that felt the nicest to pet. They were all made of the same material, but this one just felt right.

I carried her home on my shoulders. I named her Europa, because I’m really fascinated by the moon. 

Before naming her, I had affectionately dubbed her my “anxieteddy”. 

[anxieteddy]

Day 1

I woke up with a headache. That isn’t uncommon when I sleep in, but I got up early for class, so that wasn’t it. I didn’t think much of it until it persisted to my bus ride, where it got worse and the nausea started to rise up. It was mostly up and down for the 30-minute commute. By the time I arrived at class, I had a pretty bad headache and the nausea almost made me excuse myself to go to the nurse’s station.

A big of background on me: I have chronic migraines, so I’m always carrying around Aleve and gravol. (Aleve x2 and gravol x1, plus bed, to treat my migraines.) My doctor told me to avoid taking anti-inflammatory medication while on my escitalopram, but the pharmacist said there was nothing to worry about. I hate getting conflicting information. It makes me so nervous.

I had to take an Aleve for the headache because I wouldn’t be able to focus in class. I also took a gravol for the nausea. Within the hour, it was mostly gone. After two hours, it’s almost completely gone.

I’ve also felt kind of drowsy, in a different way than I usually do in morning classes. Not the “I want to go back to bed, I hate mornings” kind of tired, but a “it’s evening and i’m feeling kind of drowsy” type. It’s hard to explain. 

I’m going to talk to a nurse/doctor after class about the anti-inflammatory thing. 

[anxieteddy]

Combating Anxiety

I decided to start this blog in order to chronicle my endeavors in combating my anxiety disorder with medication. 

I started anti-depressants last night on October 1st in order to try and outrun my anxiety. I’m taking 10mg escitalopram, and I’m starting on half a pill a day. I take it every night at 10pm with my birth control so that I won’t forget.

So, yeah. Let’s get into it.