I tried. English is not my first language. (I’m from Brazil) and even tho I’m fluent there’s something that confuse me like the difference between at - on - in. And sometimes I can involuntarily use some Brazilian expression but in English so don’t be surprised if you see an expression you’ve never seen before
- Since Rich's death was not caused by Pennywise she remembers it. She remembers the night, his sacrifice, her feelings towards him and everything.
She didn't remember how they bonded and their experiences with It, as well as his face. So when she compares Eddie to someone (?) it's because she doesn't quite remember Rich's face. It's a blue to her.
- If there are any spelling mistakes, I'm sorry, I didn't read through ir after writing.
- It’s my first fanfiction (one shot) please be nice and give me constructive criticism.
- I don't think I put the emotion I wanted. If I re read it tomorrow and think is too bad I'm probably going to rewrite it and posting again.
- I forgot the difference between is and it's Imao (😭) sorry if I mistook one of them throughout the story.
Anyway, hope you enjoy :). Here it goes:
Margaret has been living her best life. Went is on vacation from his job as a dentist, which means he has way more time to help her out in the house chores. He does a lot on the house, but since he has a 9 -5 job he can’t help as much as he can when he has some break. That means Marge doesn’t get that tired cleaning the house and taking care of Richie when her husband is at handy 24/7 and she even has some time to spoil her baby boy a little bit and take care of herself. Go to the salon, do her nails, go out with her best friend Lilly…
Today, Richie’s best buddies are playing at their house. The Tozier home was always some kind of comfort for them, even when they were too young to understand that they were looking for comfort in some place that wasn’t their home. Marge and Went are always cracking jokes here and there, doing voices and being playful around Richie and the other kids, so dinners at their place were never boring. You could say Richie took after both of his parents when it comes to personality. And personality only, since Richie is the spitting image of his father. Marge’s genes barely even tried. Well, at least Marge sees a lot of herself in him, especially her younger self. She remebers that little girl who used humor as a way to fit in and make people around her smile all the time. Her little boy was always so much like her, and he was always so proud of it.
She could remember almost clearly the day Richie’s first glasses were ready and they were at the optician’s to pick it up. Six year old Richie stood by the mirror, grabbed his bottle – bottom glasses and tried it on. He had the biggest, sweetest gap – teeth smile and said “I look just like you, mommy”. He had seen some photos of her in her teens when he decided to nose around some old albuns while she cleaned her room. He probably stayed with the image of her wearing glasses in his head since she used to wear contacts at the time. She started to wear glasses again, tho.
When he entered middle school he started to get bullied for his glasses and the way his eyes were much bigger with them on. Marge decided to wear her’s again to prove him that wearing glasses isn’t something to be ashamed of and it’s cool to wear them. Of course he got super happy since his mother was the coolest person on the planet for him and he always liked to be like her.
So that levity and emotional bound the Tozier’s have always attracted the other members of “The loser’s club”. (she thinks it’s funny that that’s how they like to call themselves, and are very proud of it) Bill Denborough was there almost everyday since him and Richie met at kindergarten. They liked to ride the bike around the street and read some comics together, since they both collected it and would trade the ones they didn’t have with each other.
Stanley Uris was also one that was always there and could be seen reading comics at their house almost all the time. Something about his parents not allowing him to read them made him curious about it and Richie was never jealous of his stuff, so when him and the other boys were playing around and Stanley wouldn’t want to participate he would just stay in the kitchen reading some Spider Man while listening to some songs on the radio with Marge. Him and Margaret did get along very well, but she felt sad that he had this forced maturity at such young age. So, she always tried to make him a little bit more comfortable to allow himself to be a kid, at least for some hours.
And then there was Eddie Kaspbrak. There was always something so special about him to her, but she never figured out what. Maybe his hair style? His smile? The way he’s always taking care of everyone? There was something so familiar about him that always made her heart ache so much and she never got to find out what. All those little things made her have a huge soft spot for him. She liked all of Richie’s friends, of course, but she liked Eddie a little bit more. And she wasn’t a fool, she noticed the way her soon also liked Eddie a little bit more. Seeing the way Richie looks at him and seems dazzled every time Eddie takes care of him makes her even more fond of the Kaspbrak. What? She’s a mother. She obviously likes the person her child likes, it’s normal. She’s allowed to like him more because her son likes him more as well, it’s not a crime.
Today, the “Losers” are playing pretend, apparently. The sun is blazing outside and the intense fights between the super heroes are seem to be taken very seriously. Which, of course, means that it’s time for some iced lemonade. Went is slicing the lemons while she’s gently pressing it on the lemon squeezer. They are taking longer than usual since every time he makes a joke or uses a stupid voice she has to stop everything and laugh. Anyways, she hopes the super heroes don’t die of extreme thirst before it’s too late.
After they finally concentrated and made all the juice, she took it outside while Wentworth washed all the dishes.
Marge walked over them with the lemonade. The scenario was a bit sad to see, all of them laying on the backyard’s grass, trying to cool their bodies down a little bit. She cleaned her throat to call their attention:
- Attend, boys. Sustenance hath arrived. Thou shalt drink, lest thou fall upon the battlefield of heat and boredom. – Marge said, with a surprisingly good British accent.
- Our thanks, fair bearer of provisions. We shall drink, and then return to the fray. – Richie answered, much louder and with a much worse accent as well. “The mastering of the British accent takes years of long practice” his dad said once, when he complained on how good his mother’s accent was.
- T – Thanks, Mrs. Tozier.
- It’s Marge or Maggie to you, boys. You don’t need to call me Mrs. – she said, blinking one eye and kneeling down to kiss her son on the cheek.
- I shall carry that blessing with honor. - he said, mentioning the little peck. Richie wasn’t embarrassed of his mother showing some affection in front of his friends, even tho he makes fun of Eddie when Sonia makes him give her a goodbye kiss. That, he thinks is disgusting. It doesn’t seem like Marge’s love, but a way of control, which makes Richie sick.
- See that thou dost. Waste it not on foolish actions.
- I shall not, my damsel in distress.
She played with his hair and got up. Anyways, she had a lot of work to doin the house. So much work that thinking about it made her exhausted. Nevertheless, she went back to the kitchen to help Went with the dishes.
- Now Beep Beep, boys, we shall waste no more time on feeding ourselves. Back to work, come on! – He said, and little Eddie Kaspbrak rolled his eyes before smiling at him. She thought it was funny how he disapproved and went along with his jokes at the same time.
Well, they spent the whole evening tidying up the house while Richie and his mates played in the backyard. When it was almost night and it was already time for dinner, both Wentworth and her were too tired for cooking so they decided to order some pepperoni pizza and a large coke.
She decided to organize everything at the table while her husband went to get the boys to eat.
- So, how did it went? Did all of you survive or it was a tragic defeat? – Margaret said. Everyone was already sitting at the table and serving themselves some pizza after washing their hands. Eddie took some more minutes than the other “losers” but none of them minded waiting a little bit.
- It was awesome, Mrs. Tozier. – Marge smiled at his excitement and the way his eyes gained more sparkle while looking at Richie. – Rich was incredible. He just –
- Excuse me? – she said, dropping her fork gently on the plate. She wasn’t mad, she was just… stunned. The “excuse me” was out of pure surprise. Still, it freaked out everyone in the table, they never seen her like this and never saw her… catatonic and still. She couldn’t get her eyes of her plate, frowning over the attempt of remembering something. She remembered the name and the person, of course, but it was just so sudden for her.
Marge knew that eventually people would call Richie that since “Rich” is also a common nickname for Richard. The thing is that it has never happen before. And the surprise made her somehow freaked out.
Wentworth touched her hand gently, trying to bring her some comfort, while Richie looked at his mother with a confused expression. She never told him about Rich, and she didn’t felt ready to do it yet. It was too much for her and too much for her twelve year old son.
Eddie seemed a little bit uncomfortable and worried that he said something wrong, but Went calmed him down and said the did nothing.
- Darling, are you ok? – He asked, more worried, caressing her fingers.
- Yeah, Yes I am, sorry boys, sorry Eddie, I just… - she didn’t finish the sentence.
- Mom, are you alright? Do you want something?
- No, it’s okay. – she tried to smile, but failed.
Before she could even think about it, she went to her room. Marge lied on the bed and started crying. And she did it for hours.
When she had just stopped, it was 9 P.M and the boys were already home. Went entered the room, worried. He found his wife sitting at the edge of the bed, looking at her hands. She wasn’t crying anymore, but her eyes were still red and wet.
Wentworth kneeled down in front of her, grabbing her hands and kissing them gently.
- Maggie… are you really okay? There’s no problem on relapsing sometimes. You know, grief is not a straight path. You’ll fall some times, relapse, remember… it’s okay for it to happen. And you can tell me what’s wrong.
- When… - she took a deep breath to stop hiccuping – when I named Richie that I did expect that some people would call him Rich. I just guess no one ever did, at least no in front of me, because they were afraid I would burst out crying. And it was a surprise for me Eddie called him that. And I guess everyone was right because I did burst out crying when I heard the name Rich after all these years… - and she cried again.
Marge spent the whole night crying on her husband’s arms, while he caressed her back.
She thought about Rich. After all those years she thought of him. Really though. She thought so much she could even remember a little bit of his face, which made her cry more. She remembered something so special about him. His eyes. And the way they were so innocent and vivid. And then remembered how they looked when she found his dead body.
And then, she felt twelve again, feeling a pain she didn’t know how to stop and didn’t know how she hid and learned how to live with. She just hoped she could visit Rich’s grave. She just hoped she could tell Richie the story behind his name, the story of the person who save her life so many years ago.
But something stopped her. Not guilt. But something in her throat that threatened to activate every time she thought about that name. And she wasn’t sure she wanted her baby to see her crying.
Marge knows it’s foolish. But she always wanted to be an anchor for him. Someone he could count on to talk about his problems, his angers and his sadnesses.
She just thought that if he saw her crying that idea that she was a strong place to hold onto could just fall away, and she didn’t want him to think that way.
She just hoped. She just hoped one day she would be strong enough, that all those emotions would be far away and Rich would be just a tender moment, not something that weighted her chest and made her heart full of sorrow. One day, when the tears don’t try to fall off her eyes, she’s going to tell him. Everything. She owes that. To Richie and to Rich.
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