Headcanons For APH States!

Headcanons and other things involving the Hetalia states! Feel free to send asks or submit any of your own headcanons! **or Canadian province/territory | NSFW is accepted to an extent

[aphstatestalk]

Maryland: 🎶Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, li- D.C.: NO! I big kid.

Consider it being the other way around, but instead of Maryland screaming “I’m a big kid”, they just scream. 

[aphstatestalk]

DC is Mary(land)'s Little Lamb. Maryland saw a chance and they took it.

I can't think of a clever response to this but it's great.

[aphstatestalk]

California is like the hippie grandmother who lectures you about your weight every time you see them.

Yes. 

California just wants everyone to be healthy. 

[aphstatestalk]

California trying to get Texas and New York to eat healthier. It doesn't work

They try to get everyone to eat healthier, it never works.

[aphstatestalk]

I feel like Texas and Florida are those people that when they say duck, everyone ducks because they're probably about to blow something up.

I feel if any state says duck, everyone ducks. 

[unitedidiotsofamerica-archive]

Can I just thank you for being a sort of safe haven for hcs that don't necessarily follow a textbook's fine print? Like it's so hard finding places to share them in this fandom nowadays without always being shot down and I just can't really express in words how freeing it is??to be able to give the children outside experiences??because they're still people with their own minds??not just robots following what a historian says happened??I don't think you get appreciated enough for that so thankyou

Me, tripping over my own words because I can’t take compliments: awww thanks dude

I just really don’t like telling people their hcs are wrong because a) it makes me feel rude b) the point of fandoms is to have fun and do whatever you want and c)… that’s the point of hcs? to interpret things how you want to interpret them? Headcanons don’t have to be “canon” because it literally says in the name that they are canon in your head. It’s just how you interpret what you are told. It’s just what you think. Sure, disagree on hcs all you want but it’s hard for a hc to be flat out wrong. I think a lot of people forget that when it comes to Hetalia especially. Yes, for the most part it’s based on history but you can still interpret history differently from others. A history book/article/whatever is just events that took place. You as the reader can interpret it however you like based on your own personal experiences.

And I’m far from an expert on history. if someone sends in a hc I don’t agree with, who am I to shut them down? I’m just a nerd with no life and a blog. maybe that person knows something I don’t. And I come up with random hcs all the time okay I just like to have fun let me live

[aphstatestalk]

“ You as the reader can interpret it however you like based on your own personal experiences.” THANK YOU 

[unitedidiotsofamerica-archive]

Someone: The Mason-Dixon line determines North & South in the U.S! Me, an southerner: Baby no

The whole “Mason-Dixon line determines North & South” rule works just fine until you realize that people have different opinions on where the line really is

[aphstatestalk]

Headcanon that DC knows everything about every state. That embarrasing emo phase? They know. That one time you ate an entire chicken leg in one go? They know and are very impressed

yes. there are no secrets because they know them all

[aphstatestalk]

I would like to point out that that last ask was meant for a vampire AU on another blog. I didn't pay attention to which one I was on and sent it here by mistake. Very sorry.

it’s alright. I know exactly which blog that was meant for, I follow it as well 

[aphstatestalk]

Tex notices a mark on Okla that doesn't match the ones they made and realizes it looks a lot like the ones CSA put on the Confederate territories. When they ask Okla where they got that, Okla says that CSA told them they looked a lot like Sequoyah and wanted to know if they tasted like them, too.

n o

[aphstatestalk]

"i wonder how i’m gonna die. will i be shot because they’re jealous of my massive penis? car crash because i’m distracted by my massive penis? die of old age, i have a massive penis." -Ontario, probably

ontario stop 

[aphstatestalk]

I can see California and Nevada getting along really well. Like Cali is completely chill with pretty much everything(and almost always high) and Nevada is a party animal so Nevada could just be like "Hey buddy wanna get ridiculously drunk and gamble away everything we own" and Cali would just be like "K just let me finish getting dressed" and it's 3AM and they're nuts

I can see this too. They can’t be left alone because they will end up losing everything gambling 

[aphstatestalk]

Oklahoma has taken years of ballet and gymnastics. They don't really consider themself to be that great, but Kansas tells them they're amazing after every performance.

Kansas fills Oklahoma with inspiration 

[aphstatestalk]

Utah unironically loves the Bee Movie

if it involves bees Utah is all over it 

[aphstatestalk]

Ont playing 'Ahead By a Century' on guitar for Queb

Ont pls

[aphstatestalk]

Rhode Island tastes delicious pan-seared in butter.

who wants to test this 

[aphstatestalk]

Wyoming and Montana are functioning alcoholics. They have to be to put up with the rest of the states bull****.

at least they’re functioning