Ahh Shit... Here we go...

[apocalypsesurvivalguide]

You can put something greasy like chapstick between your toes to preventa blister while you're hoofing it mad fast to the liquor store

[storybookprincess]

being sick & miserable objectively sucks, but it has become significantly easier to cope with since learning that “sickness behavior” is a well documented part of the body’s immune response

feeling not only physically but also emotionally like fucking garbage is unfortunately an extremely effective way to force your body to prioritize fighting infection & keeping you alive. i don’t have to like it, but knowing why i get weepy & pathetic when sick does help at least a little

[autumn2may]

i just found out that this is not common knowledge and am reblogging so more people know

YOUR BODY DOES THIS ON PURPOSE

YOU ARE NOT A BAD PERSON BECAUSE OR "WEAK" WHEN YOU ARE SICK IF YOU CAN"T CARRY ON AS NORMAL

[apocalypsesurvivalguide]

Learn the local slang for drugs in your region. If you do that, and you find the slang to be lacking, you get to make up your own! Soon they will be asking for that mana potion on all of your street corners.

[apocalypsesurvivalguide]

Aesthetic urban foraging

[fuckablewizard]

Oh I so dare you to go into this woodland portal bro

[apocalypsesurvivalguide]

Portal tip: do not

[achillesinhighheels]

[bolairesmask]

Had the funniest experience earlier of my swiftie coworker putting the new white girl breakup songs™️ album on the speaker at work and the moment she left the room long enough for her phone to disconnect from Bluetooth our older coworker immediately put on 10 hours of relaxing tibetan flute music instead and we all collectively sighed in relief

[orcposts]

warding spell against Taylor swift

[depsidase]

[apocalypsesurvivalguide]

Oh thank fucking god those people aren't alive to influence politics rn

[rapidlydecayingcorpse]

in third grade on the swing with my friend i announced “i figured it out” and my friend said “figured what out” and i said “the meaning of life!” and being third graders this was very exciting so she leaned in and i whispered in her ear “it’s to have fun” and i don’t remember her reaction but i remember how i felt and how i knew so clearly that was the answer. how my small mind was beaming and shimmering with this answer that makes me scoff today but i know that they were right. i was right

[apocalypsesurvivalguide]

You are right

[str8enigma-deactivated20180416]

Reblog if your profile pic is actually YOU .

[apocalypsesurvivalguide]

Today's mission: go play outside

You will need backpack and tools. Or friends or money. Or all of those Or none of those (go apeshit)

THE EARTH HAS MANY THINGS FOR YOU. For free even. SOME PEOPLE HAVE THINGS FOR YOU. You might have to give them money. It could be free though, you never know.

Tip #1: don't steal

You probably don't need to do that. Unless you have to. I'm not a cop.

When you take something from the earth you should say thank you. Most plants just want you to spread their seeds, some plants you shouldn't. Make sure you know what is native to your area or at least naturalized + not destructive. Plantain leaf and Dandelion are not native to North America but they are a delight to have. Nothing's native to the suburbs. They should not exist.

You shouldn't steal from people because almost everybody is nice and can help you. Good lord you're going to need the help. People who are not nice shouldn't be stolen from because eww gross. You don't want anything that's willing to hang out with them.

[crippled-peeper]

the Trump Admin are building a gilded golden $200m ballroom with the money they saved sentencing 1,000,000 of the world’s most impoverished children to death from starvation and AIDS. are you okay with that?

[deactivated282928198w-deactivat]

[apocalypsesurvivalguide]

Sometimes you will think it's later than it is. Well it ain't. Slow down there partner

[apocalypsesurvivalguide]

You are NOT a hero. You will NOT survive this alone. You driving your pathetic nuclear family out into the sticks is going to cause you a lot more heartbreak and suffering before you die, alone, in the first wave. Staying in and fighting for your community will keep everyone alive longer I guarantee. Entirely.

[apocalypsesurvivalguide]

Smoking tip: if you light your smoke and then find that it's not lit when you go to take another drag, watch out. It means there is an enemy nearby, thus preventing you from smoko

[sacred-portal]