a poets mind gone astray

21-year old loser spilling my guts to people who don't give a fuck.

[apoetsmindgone-astray]

[deadcyka]

[apoetsmindgone-astray]

beautiful deceit

I was confused. I knew you weren’t telling a bit of truth, but I made myself believe there existed honesty in you.

I’m not quite sure I can explain just how it could have been; but it’s almost as though I thrived off of your lies for the last time.

For the last time, you reached out for me, so I caved in and held your hand; even though I could still feel the warmth from somebody else’s grasp, I convinced myself that this time it actually might last.

I was mistaken.

[apoetsmindgone-astray]

[euo]

[brutalgeneration]

(by GabrielleSalonga)

[apoetsmindgone-astray]

I want to be with somebody who wants to be with me too. Somebody who doesn't just tolerate me when they're feeling lonely and then make me feel guilty for wanting affection. Somebody who can give more than a few words in response to my spilling my guts out of nowhere because they're so bottled up from not being asked how I'm feeling. I want to be with somebody who knows so much about me but doesn't ever stop wanting to learn more, someone who will let me in and keep me at the edge of my seat at all times. I want to be with a person who understands that I don't need them 24/7, but a phone call or a text out of the blue at 4am letting me know they're there for me is always appreciated. I want to be with somebody who's not afraid to let their friends know I exist, who doesn't have the ability to get into my head with their words and manipulate me into thinking I'm in the wrong for being needy sometimes. I want to be with somebody who adores me as much as I do them. I want to be with somebody who wants to be with me too.

[apoetsmindgone-astray]

Merry Christmas sluts 🎀

[apoetsmindgone-astray]

I lost my grandma Jean over ten years ago and I still think about her every day. Her smile and the sound of her laugh has never left my mind and I would give anything to just be able to hear and see them again. It's especially hard around the holidays because my fondest memories include her putting forth so much effort to make our family Christmas perfect and it really hurts that my mom doesn't try and do that, or even care to. I've lost two other grandparents as well, and I miss them too, but I'm not sure if it's the fact that I have Jean as my middle name or if it's because almost every memory of my childhood includes her, but I miss my grandma so much every single day. I know that if she was still here my life would be so much different and better and I wouldn't be bitter all the time and I would actually have somebody to feel close to. I just really hope that I'm able to see her again one day, somehow.

[apoetsmindgone-astray]

MAYDAY PARADES NEW ALBUM IS SO FUCKING GOOD

[apoetsmindgone-astray]

The plague salute

I pledge treason To this plague Called the Tainted States of America And to the Republic For which we fall One tragedy Under chaos Invisible With anarchy and injustice for all

[apoetsmindgone-astray]

"I did care for him, I really did and he did fill a void in my heart, the part of me that wanted, needed, craved attention. Affection. I wanted to be touched, felt. I wanted to please, be pleased. I wanted to be lusted. And that’s exactly what we were in, lust."

[apoetsmindgone-astray]

I wrote this probably about a year ago while in a past relationship. Found it in my journal. Although it doesn't much apply to me now, I still like it.

[draculiina]

I don’t want new books. I want all of my books to be old and used, read a hundred times. Loved and hated; to have been held in the palms of the rich and the poor, young and the old, the content and the heartbroken. Although I may lack any sort of understanding as to what exactly their pages have...

[draculiina]

There’s really not a worse realization than realizing that someone left you for somebody else. That somebody who was supposed to love you and be there for you is speaking those exact same lies to somebody else, to somebody who had something that you didn’t. And now you lay in bed alone at night haunted by the toxic memories of a day when he was yours and not hers. Kill me.

[apoetsmindgone-astray]

I'm nostalgic for places I've yet to go and people I've yet to meet.

[apoetsmindgone-astray]

Your voice

That touch

Your touch

You’re touching me

I’m touching you

Skin against skin

A kiss;

Lips against lips

Gentle

Yet so rough

Tongue against tongue

Lips against skin

Tongue against skin

Teeth biting skin

Ever-so-delicate

Hand meets hand

Fingers touch

Fingers cross

Holding on tight

Hand against skin

Butterflies

Goosebumps

Hands against chest

Softly caress

Lips against neck

Lips against lips

Whisper “I love you”

Skin against skin

Arms wrapped

Chest against chest

Nails against skin

Lips against lips

Tongue against tongue

Sudden gasp for breath

Eyes meet eyes

Eyes roll back

Eyes close

Teeth against lip

Nails against skin

Arms wrapped so tight

Trembling

“I love you.”