so close (no matter how far) | E.M
—You’ve always been there, for as long as Eddie can remember, too soft, too warm for the cold trailer park you both grew up in.
A/N: sexual content in this!
He first saw you when he was six. Eddie was walking back to his trailer with his mom, who had a bright smile on her cheeks no matter the day. Even when it was really stormy, and the clouds roared and thundered at nighttime, she sat humming happy into Eddie’s wild curls. She spotted you before he did, crouching down beside him and pointing to you sat on your nana’s trailer stair.
“Eddie baby, be a good boy and speak to the girl,” Elizabeth spoke, her warm hands rubbing his small arms. Eddie retreated back into her, eyes unsure. She hums like all mothers do. “Her nana’s very sick, and she gets lonely all by herself,” Eddie looks up at his mother’s eyes. “She needs a kid to play with,”
Eddie blinks, unsure. His six year old brain wracking to work you out, sat on your porch steps playing with your plaits. He sighs out and nods, leaving his mother’s arms a striding over.
“My mommy says you wanna play,” Eddie speaks, shuffling his boots on the grass. You look up, eyes wide. You look over to his mom, a warm figure stood at their trailer with a tilted head and sunshine smile. “So you can come play, if you want,”
You look back at your trailer, nana asleep on the couch again.
“I can play?” You speak timid, to which Eddie nods, offering a shrug. Upon his admission, you smile wide. Probably the most wide you’ve smiled in a long, long time. You both toddle over to Elizabeth, and she smiles, eyes sparkling like the beautiful actresses on the tapes your nana loves. She’s so pretty, you think. So lovely and pretty.
“My mama has biscuits for us,” Eddie speaks, confident now, showing off. He’s never had a friend so close to home. The kids at school call him names, but you look at him with wide eyes and a shy smile. Elizabeth follows you both in, his trailer is almost identical to yours, but it’s yellow you think. Yours is blue, always dark, but this trailer has mugs on the walls and soft music playing. “And she has songs we can hear,” Eddie rambles on settling on the floor where his figurines are. “I like to play fairytales, we can be whoever we want.”
You can’t speak, just take in his words, trying to understand. The kind woman brings you both some hot chocolate and these delicious looking cookies.
“What’s your name?” Eddie announces the question as he sets up his makeshift castle for the figurines, concentrating. “‘m names Eddie,”
“Eddie,” you repeat slowly, blinking. You watch as he sets up the pieces on the floor. As you tell him your name, he nods. The beautiful woman is sat on the couch, humming something as she watches behind a mug.
“We can play fairytales and then I can show you my favourite songs,” Eddie trails off, tongue poking out in concentration as he assembles to castle, hand drawn with marker onto cardboard pieces.
“Cool,” you sit up properly, playing with a figurine of an elf, holding it up. “Can I be this?”
“You can be the elf and I am the wizard, an we can save the kingdom from these ogres..”
Later, the beautiful woman who you learn goes by Elizabeth, guides you and Eddie into the main bedroom of trailer. A simple double bed with a messy set of drawers in the corner.
“Eddie, show your new friend those songs I played you,” she speaks, voice measured, slightly on edge. Eddie looks up, eyes wide. The sound of a car parking outside sounds, and a slam of a door. “Be a good boy and show her. I’ll be back soon,”
Eddie nods and Elizabeth pokes your nose in a way that makes you feel all happy inside. She closes the door, and Eddie sighs out taking you over to the record player. He carefully takes out a record, as if he is recreating something he was taught. The sound of shouting starts, a cold, hard voice sounding the trailer. Guitar and drums fill the space, taking your attention back.
“Is your mommy okay?” You ask, and Eddie focuses on the turning record.
“They do this every time he comes home,” Eddie speaks, sitting on the floor, and you quickly follow. “I just sit in here and listen.”
It’s a lot for two six year olds. World of adulthood raging through the walls as the Blues music pulses.
“We can listen together,” you respond, smiling, Eddie looking up and nodding quickly, a smile spreading to his face.
“Yeah,” he nods, eyes lit. “We can.”
One day, the beautiful woman isn’t there at Eddie’s trailer. Eddie is crying into your lap, and you hold him as tight as a six year old can. Two men argue loudly in the other room.
“Do you want the songs on?” You ask quiet and Eddie sniffs, shaking his head, curls tickling your stomach. “Maybe we play the loud enough— your mama will come back and dance with us,”
“My mama isn’t coming back,” Eddie whispers, his small voice into your lap. “Wayne says she’s gone to Heaven, where she listens to songs all day long.”
“That sounds like fun,” you speak, and he lets out another whimper.
“She left me down here, I wish she took me with her, to listen to the songs all day long,” his words hurt you, deep. A feeling of deep sadness you didn’t quite understand yet as a six year old, imagining life without your best friend.
“Then who would I listen to the songs with?” You speak, voice high. Eddie shuffles and hugs you closer.
School is difficult for you both. Eddie can’t protect you from the girls that giggle at you in the locker room, or from boys that tug at your plaits. He gets told off, a lot of the time because the twelve year old can’t help to shove the boys that slam your locker shut, or put slugs in the girl’s shoes.
“Can’t keep gettin’ in trouble cos of me,” you speak quietly as Eddie walks you both home, “I don’t want you in detention every break. We can’t play,”
“They deserve it,” Eddie insists, the boy crossing his arms. “They’re mean to you,”
You stay quiet, biting your bottom lip as you both approach his trailer. His father’s truck was there. Fear flashes over Eddie’s eyes like it always does when Al is home.
“Do you wanna come to mine? Nana’s asleep, we can hang out in my room—,”
A door is burst open, and Al Munson trudges out of the trailer, his brother Wayne behind him. As soon as Al spots Eddie, he grabs the boy’s collar.
“Had your teacher call me today,” his father’s voice booms, the noise always making you jump. “Says you been misbehavin’— didn’t raise you to be gettin’ caught,”
“For Christ’s sake Al—,” Wayne interupts, shoving Al back, making the man stumble. “Leave it, I’ll speak to ‘im,” Wayne gestures to us to get into the trailer, and you and Eddie run in. Eddie notes the empty glass bottle of whiskey. You frown and tug at Eddie’s sleeve.
“Your dad is angry at you because of me,” you speak quiet, guilt drowning your words. Eddie huffs and collapses onto the couch, angry.
“Don’t care,” Eddie shrugs, arms crossed. “Couldn’t give a shit what he says,”
“Eddie,” you widen your eyes at his use of words, still new to all these curse words used at school, or here in this trailer. Eddie smiles apologetically. Wayne sighs deeply as he steps in, boots hard on the carpet floor.
“You kids want some burgers?” Wayne claps and moves over to the freezer, pulling out some frozen burgers. Wayne always feeds you, is so kind. He always drops off things for you and your Nana. “And slugs, really boy? Frogs are a much better choice for those nasty kids,”
You both let out a harmony of giggles.
It’s summer of you and Eddie’s thirteenth year that you get your period. You had learnt about it in health class, but all the girls had got theirs, proclaiming themselves as mature ladies. Sweat clings to your chest as you listen to Eddie imperfectly play some chords on the new guitar Wayne thrifted for him. He’s saying something, but your brain drifts, wincing at a pain that blooms in your lower stomach.
“Are you listenin’— what’s wrong?” Eddie looks over, to you sat up, arms around your belly.
“Nothing,” you snap, blinking before shuffling, “I should probably be heading—,” Embarrassment was flooding now, reddening your cheeks as you feel the puddle form under your lap. Eddie only frowns with his stupid puppy eyes, and crawls up.
“Not nothing,” Eddie points out, looking over you. “Are you sick?”
“I’m not sick— I just—,” you swallow, shuffling, but feeling the problem only get worse, the pain dull and present. “Eddie I— think I’ve started my period, and I’m really embarrassed, so lay off making fun of me and—,”
Eddie blinks, face understanding. He looks to you lap momentarily. The thirteen year old stands, determined.
“Should I get Wayne? He can help— we have pain killers somewhere,” Eddie reminded you of his mom, so caring. Even at such a young age, you didn’t understand it yet. You nod, cheeks red and eyes prickled with tears, sat timid on his bed. Eddie brings Wayne into the room, his uncle wearing a smile.
“Hey there little lady,” Wayne almost coos a tone you’ve never heard him speak, and gestures to Eddie to go to his drawer. Eddie follows his instructions and gets out some of his spare clothes. “Let’s get you comfortable, d’you wanna use our hot water for a shower?”
You shyly nod, eyes prickled with tears. Wayne helps you up and into the bathroom. “M sorry for the stain, Wayne—“
“—hush now,” Wayne huffs, helping you into the bathroom. “Have a shower, I’ll make us all some of my famous mac and cheese. Eddie’s a big boy, he can handle washing his own sheets.”
That evening, you and Eddie watch his VHS copy of The Evil Dead, your head on his shoulder as you both eat mac and cheese. Eddie’s buzzed hair tickles your forehead, but you don’t seem to mind.
“But I wanna go!” You huff and cross your arms, watching Eddie shuffle around in his room. You had just turned 16, invited to your first ever party. Stacey Hemming was throwing one for her sweet 16th, the whole school going. “I’ve never been to a party, and my nana has someone to look after her tonight—,”
“— nothing good happens that those parties, believe me,” Eddie scoffs, finally finding his weed stash. “I’m just going to sell, I’ll be back earlier and we can go to the movies or something,”
Eddie knew you had never drunk, only a bit of his beer when you both were watching horror movies. He saw what drinking did to people, his dad. He wouldn’t wish that on you, someone of pure and too good.
“Please Eddie— please,” you try, shuffling towards him, eyes wide. He huffs as he stares down at you, unable to resist your sad, doe eyes.
“Okay fine. But you stay with me okay? No wandering off, and I mean it,” he boops your nose, finally smiling at the sight of your happy expression.
“Thank you, thank you, thank you,” you squeak and wrap your arms around his neck, face against his neck. Eddie froze, letting his hands wrap around your waist. “I promise I’ll be good,”
The party was loud, but you were so excited. Eddie stood by you while you got some punch, Eddie insisting on tasting it before to check it wasn’t too strong.
“Only one cup alright?” Eddie murmured in your ear, and you let out a scoff. Who was he to dictate everything you did just because you were younger?
“I can decide however many cups I want,” you snap, and Eddie recoils slightly, only to huff louder. “Go and sell— since that’s all you come here for.”
“I’m here to look after you—“
“—I’m capable of looking after myself— god,” you speak, exasperated, “I’m not a baby, I don’t need you hovering over me every five minutes,” Eddie’s face twitches, barely.
“Fine. I’m gonna do what I came to do, sell, do whatever,” Eddie huffs and walks off, wandering into the garden where he usually sells at these parties. You blink back some tears, before downing the punch and going for another.
You can’t tell when you went off the deep end, last thing you remember is taking that second cup of punch. You stumble onto a couch, sat awkwardly as you mumble nonsense. Head spinning, a voice brings you back.
“Yo— is that the weird girl from the trailer park? Friends with the freak—,”
“—such a waste man, I’d totally—,”
A body pulls you up, which you can smell is Eddie through your drunken haze. Eddie pushes past the jocks, and fresh air hits you.
“Okay, sweetheart, had a bit too much huh?” Eddie murmurs, his voice soothing. You mumble incoherently, something Eddie can’t work out. “Let’s get you back—,”
As Eddie tries to get you into the van, you throw up all over the grass. Eddie grimaces, using his sleeve to wipe your mouth, hushing your words.
“Sorry— m’ so sorry—,” you mumble, coughing. Eddie sighs and gets you into the van, miraculously. He isn’t known to be too athletic, and it surprises him.
“Stop saying sorry,” Eddie’s voice is stern, but has that buttery Munson softness glazed over it.
“What did I say?” You shut up at his words, and he climbs into his seat, driving you both back to the trailer park. Eddie helps you into his trailer, directing you into the bathroom. “Okay, try and throw it all up for me alright? I’m gonna get you some fresh clothes—“
“—stay,” you mumble, coughing as you collapse against the toilet seat. Eddie sighs, crouching, and moving your hair out of your face. You still looked beautiful, spit and punch over your dress, you always did. He always thought you were the most beautiful girl in the world.
“I’m coming back,” Eddie promises as you turn to throw up. He moves quick in getting some water and some of his pyjamas with the least holes in. Gently, he wipes your mouth, changing you. You comply, a dazed smile on your face as he pushes a jumper over your head. “What’you smiling about sweetheart?”
“M— just, you’re m’ best friend, and I love you,” you speak, truthfully, wrapping arms around his neck. “Bestest friend in the entire world,”
Eddie hugs you back, kissing your sweaty neck once.
“Okay, bed time,” Eddie concluded, helping you into his room, tucking you in. You were completely pliant now, eyes shut happily against his pillow. Eddie sits next to you, hand over your cheek. “Sleep it off.”
“Are you staying?” Your voice is small, tiny even.
“‘Course I am, I always will,” Eddie hums, smiling down at your soft features. As you drift off, Eddie frowns. You’ve always been there, for as long as Eddie can remember, too soft, too warm for the cold trailer park you both grew up in.
How those stupid jocks at school spoke about you, he would do anything so they wouldn’t see the light of day for that. You’d chide him, though, say there’s always room for people to improve and change, even the jocks and cheerleaders. As he lays next to you, hand barely touching your back, he knows he can’t protect you forever, and that thought alone keeps him awake all night.
It’s not surprising really, that you get asked out when you turn 18. Eddie thinks you’ve always been gorgeous, prettiest in Hawkins. Of course those airhead jocks are late to that party. Eddie can’t rid the scowl off of his face as you talk to hellfire about that stupid date you have tonight.
“Guys, Andy is different, he’s new, he only hangs out with the jocks because he plays sports,” you defend, sipping some water. They all don’t look convinced, but happy to see you smile. Gareth shoots Eddie a head tilt and a smile.
“Why the long face, is that, jealousy I smell?” Gareth teases, and Eddie flings a pretzel his way.
“No, nothing could compel me to be jealous of those meatheads,” Eddie drones, but he can’t meet your eyes, and can feel them saddening by the minute. “I’m just pissed you’re missing Hellfire tonight, it’s an important part of the campaign.”
“It’s one night, and I promise to make it up to you,” you pout, squeezing his arm. Eddie can’t be mad at you for long, and the second he sees your frown he caves. “I’ll bring you all some cookies next Friday,” That earns smiles from the table, and Eddie huffs out a noise.
“Do you have makeup on?” Eddie suddenly blurts, eyes scrutinising over your cheeks. You look so pretty, always so pretty.
“Oh um, yeah?” You speak, flustered. “I just thought— I dunno. Try it out for my date.”
“Doesn’t look like you,” Eddie lies easily, mastering an air of nonchalance that kills him inside. The makeup isn’t drastic, it just highlights your already beautiful features he thinks.
You turn to your food, face falling into a sad expression. Eddie can’t bring himself to speak anymore, that was supposed to disconnect him from his pit of jealousy, but it somehow made it worse.
Eddie got back from Hellfire late, just missing the rain. He waves off Wayne as he sets off for the night shift, switching the tv on and watching some random telemarketers talk about some new leg warmers as he lights up a joint. Peace, Eddie thinks. For about 5 seconds until his mind wanders to you, your lovely face, how lovely you probably look for that stupid, airhead who doesn’t know one thing about you. Doesn’t know how to make you smile, or how to make you laugh loudly. Eddie’s thoughts are interrupted, hearing a quiet knock at his trailer. He sits up, confused. He doesn’t remember a customer coming this late, or think his clientele would make the trouble in this rain. He trudges up, opening the door to see you standing shivering, arms around yourself. Your dress is ruined, hair soaked, and tears matting your eyelashes into clumps. Eddie almost pushes you in, slamming the door.
“Jesus, what are you doing here? I thought you were with— Andrew, Andy was it?” Eddie rambles as he tugs off your denim jacket, and switches on a heater for you to sit near.
“Yeah, Andy he—,” you sniff, unable not to let the tears fall wholly now. “Stood me up. Didn’t show up at the diner, and I don’t drive, so.”
“Shit, sweetheart, you should have called me on the pay phone.” Eddie shakes his head, rubbing your arms as he attempts to warm you up. “Let’s get you into a change of clothes,”
Eddie lets you change in the bathroom, pacing the living room. God, what a dud that Andy guy was. He could just imagine your sad face as you realised he wasn’t coming. Eddie was gonna murder that guy. You shuffle out shyly, and Eddie gestures to the couch.
“I made you some hot cocoa, I don’t make it as good as Wayne does but I tried,” Eddie mumbles sheepish, and you smile small, sitting on the couch. Eddie snuffs out his joint, hand moving to your back, rubbing to warm you up.
“I’m sorry I missed hellfire,” you speak quiet, embarrassed. “For a guy that didn’t even like me enough to show up.”
“Don’t sweat it,” Eddie speaks quick, shaking his head. He looks over your dejected expression.
“So stupid, I was gonna. Nevermind—,” you begin, but Eddie can’t help himself. He shuffles closer.
“It’s just me,” Eddie murmurs softly, a tone he only uses for you. Plus his guitar. You blink, sniffing and breathing out.
“Had this stupid plan to lose my virginity tonight, got all prepared and I—,” you laugh wetly, cheeks red, “— feel like an idiot. No guy is ever gonna like me enough to want to do that with me,”
Your words make Eddie’s heart crack in two. He can’t believe you can’t see what he’s seen for years.
“Any guy should be counting his lucky stars, to even be sat near you,” Eddie interrupts you before you can detest. “I know you don’t believe me, but trust me when I say, you’re one in a million, sweetheart,”
You blink, eyes unable to break away from his. After a small silence, Eddie speaks, voice murmuring that sweet tone he uses with you, and only you.
“You have this, cute nose twitch thing. That you do when you’re thinking really hard about something,” Eddie’s voice turns wistful, “That’s just one of the million beautiful things about you, I could go on, but we’d be here all night—,”
You lean forward and kiss him, a moment of bravery. He doesn’t stop you, just lets it happen. His mind is telling him stop, ward her away from his mess, but when you pull away, his hand moves to your cheek. Your eyes closed, not wanting to see any sign of rejection, and Eddie breathes heavily, forehead onto yours.
“—please Eddie,” you murmur, hand clutching his shirt. “You’re the only guy I trust, with everything I have,” your words come out jumbled.
Eddie nods, breath shallow as he pulls you gently back into him, kissing down your jaw and neck. He can’t stop, your small sounding whimpers just egging him on, thinking what other noises he can pull out of you. You tug on your dress, and his hand moves to stop you, head cocking to gesture to his room.
He guides you in, a room you felt utmost safe in, since you were six. Eddie sits on the bed, pulling you to stand between his legs. His eyes don’t disconnect from yours as he guides you to take off his shirt. You swallow, you’ve seen him shirtless a hundred times over the years, but it’s different here, the moonlight shifting over his pale tattooed skin.
“Eddie, take off my dress,” you murmur, waiting patiently as his hands drift to the straps of the floral dress. He unzips the back, letting it fall. It’s dark in his room, but there’s a holy light coming from you, your figure like a prayer to him, what he’ll follow for the rest of his life. Eddie kisses down your neck, arms around your waist, letting you get a feel of his curls.
“You’re so beautiful, so lovely,” he mumbles, as he gives your breasts attention. It’s all a new feeling, and he knows that, a hand grounding you as it rubs your back. “It’s just me,” he repeats, watching as you let out another sound, a chorus of whines he wants to hear forever.
He has you laid on his bed, fingers light on your cotton underwear. You nod, and he pushes them down, taking is time to properly look at you.
“Eddie—,” you smile bashful, chest blooming with pink. Eddie’s got the biggest smile on his face as he traces where your thigh meets your fold.
“Just admiring, baby,” it’s the first time he’s used that, baby, and the feeling makes you preen. Eddie notices because he knows all your tells already, and kisses down your stomach. “M’ gonna get you ready, is that okay lovely?”
“That’s okay,” you breathe out, and arch as his mouth connects, just a mess of curls over your pelvis. The feeling is like nothing else, making you let out uncontrolled noises of pleasure as he uses both his mouth and fingers. “Oh— wow,” you can only breathe out, watching him. “I— Jesus Christ, Eddie—,” you whine, hand in his hair as he brings you to something you don’t quite understand, but it makes you feel as though you’ve wet yourself. You begin to sit up—
“—s’alright,” Eddie hums, kissing the side of your thigh once. “Not pee,” He can always read your mind, you curse and love him for it. “Something much better.” Eddie reaches for a condom, and rises to lean over you again, hand moving to stroke your cheek.
“You can say no, at any point alright?” Eddie speaks, “Hear me?”
You just nod. “I’m saying yes.”
Eddie nods back, breathing out as he slides the rubber on. You can’t help but think how experienced he is, this seems second nature to him. Eddie kisses your cheek, whispering in your ear.
“It’s just me, just Eddie,”
“Just Eddie,” you repeat, nodding as he breached finally, and you let out a squeak. “Hurts,”
“No— don’t stop,” you whimper, clutching his biceps. He moves slow, careful.
“I know, I know,” Eddie hums into your cheek, hand securely on your thigh, getting you into a better position. It words, because you let out a sound Eddie can only think happens as someone enters the gates of Heaven. “That’s it, that’s the spot huh?”
“Feels good—,” you whisper, eyes shut as he continues. Eddie finds this moment to kiss you, and you oblige, a bit dazed so he takes control, kissing slowly to the rhythm you’ve both created. After a while, he begins to feel that tightness. “M’— Eddie—,”
“I know— I, shit,” Eddie groans, kissing your neck, jaw, wherever he can manage, “I’m close, together okay?” You nod, wrapping your arms around his neck as he moves slightly faster, bringing you both to your finish. Eddie slowly collapses onto the bed next to you, slinging you condom into the trash. You breathe slow, eyes blinking to see Eddie sat up and looking into his bedside table. It’s quiet, and you can’t find it in yourself to speak. “Let me clean you up.”
His hands are soft as he glides the tissue between your legs, taking care in wiping you clean. You still can’t find the words, just stare at his form as he takes care of you.
“Was it good for you?” You speak quiet, timidly as he bins the tissue. He turns, bringing the covers over you both.
“So good,” Eddie nods, bringing you to rest on his chest, warm, safe. “You’re an angel, always thought so.” His voice sends you to sleep, drifting off onto his pale chest, breathing to the beat of his heart.
Eddie wakes up before you. As the sunlight hits your back, he sits up, rubbing his hands over his face. Panic settles, cursing himself as he gets up to push on some boxers and a shirt, he can hear Wayne get in from work. The noise doesn’t wake you up, but the sound of him hitting the dresser does as he pulls up some joggers. You mumble something, blinking awake.
“—Wayne is back, so.” He manages, unable to look at you. Unable to see what his greed has done, ruined it all between you. “We need to get up,”
You were so warm, now coldness settles in your belly as you reach for your underwear, hands shaking as you listen to him clean up the bedroom. Wayne trudges around in the kitchen, and Eddie throws you your dry dress from last night. You haphazardly catch it, pulling it on.
You stand, a slight ache makes you wince. Eddie doesn’t even wait for you as he leaves his room, speaking to Wayne. You can feel your heart jackrabbit, unable to even comprehend what’s going on. You slip on your converse, blinking away tears as you leave his room. Eddie is sat on the counter, leg bouncing as he sips coffee, staring at the table.
“Oh, hey there honey,” Wayne cheerfully speaks, always happy to see you. “Eddie didn’t tell me you slept over, m’ making pancakes, got a raise at the plant—,”
“— she was just leaving,” Eddie finishes for him, eyes on his mug as he sets it down. A fresh amount of tears line your eyes, hands shaking as you grab your jacket.
“Nana needs feeding, anyway,” you manage, voice clouded with wet tears as you leave their trailer. Static can’t escape your ears as you rush to your trailer. You feel dirty, most of all, ignoring your nana as she calls out from her chair, heading for the shower. She can’t hear you sob under the shower head, sat in the bath with your head in your knees.
Eddie can’t escape the sinking feeling all weekend. He can’t sleep, skips the Hideout on Saturday, lays in bed most of the weekend. A tries to smoke, high away the feelings of contempt for himself, but he can’t bring himself to stop thinking about your face, the tears he’d produced himself. He had one rule for himself, protect you from everything, and he couldn’t even protect you from himself. On Monday, you don’t show up and it eats at Eddie even more. Jeff asks him if he knows why, and Eddie has to shrug, the action scraping away at his heart.
On his way back from school, he stops at your trailer. He can’t lose you, not like this. He knocks heavily.
“Sweetheart? It’s me, open up alright? I need to know if you’re okay—,”
You open the door, eyes bloodshot. Eddie lets out a sound at seeing you.
“You just— you didn’t come to school today, I just thought—,”
“Nana had an episode,” you speak, voice devoid of your usual joy he loves so much. “Not everything is about you.”
“Oh, I—, yeah, it isn’t,” Eddie speaks, feeling even more like a piece of shit than he already did. He lamely drops his hands from reaching for you. “Can I come in?”
You just walk in, leaving the door open. He follows, and watches as you cross your arms, tired.
Eddie’s hands jitter as he paces.
“I’m so sorry, sweetheart, for what I did, leaving it like that, I’m an asshole, that’s exactly why I shouldn’t have done what I did—, that night,”
“So you regret it.” You speak, eyes on his, angry. He’s never seen you angry since he met you.
“No! No I don’t—,” Eddie curses, “I’m fucking it up again, because that’s all I do, and you’re so good, too good actually, for this town, for me—,”
“You made me feel used,” you cut him off, sitting on your couch, eyes on the wall. “No one, not even Andy made me feel like that. You did, Eddie. The one person I thought cared the most about me.”
Eddie collapses to the floor, hands on your knees.
“I know, and I’m sorry, I didn’t— know how to process what happened, I’m no good, I’m not someone you want, someone you deserve,”
“You don’t get to decide that for me,” you speak, stern. “I’ve let you protect me all my life, and I’m not stupid,” you finally meet his eyes, “I chose you to do that with because I wanted to, and I should regret that choice because of how you shrugged me off but I—,” tears catch your words but you persist. “I don’t regret it, even though it seems like you do.”
“I don’t— Jesus. I could never—,” Eddie speaks, voice high. “That night was the best night of my life, I thought I was on cloud nine, because I’ve adored you since I saw you on your stupid porch, and my mom saw it too.” Eddie takes a breath, before continuing. “I panicked because I thought I wasn’t the guy you deserved. I have a whole lot of baggage.”
“Baggage that I’m a part of,” you cut him off, “I was there, with you through all of that. No amount of your baggage went through my head when I chose you that night.”
Eddie listens, and his head falls to rest on your knees. You stare down, sighing out, sniffing.
“I’m sorry,” Eddie whispers into your knee, kissing it as if he can’t help himself. “Will you begin to forgive me? I miss you so much.”
“I can forgive you,” your voice makes him look up, eyes wide. “If you stop telling me what I deserve, and let me decide that it’s you that I want, that’s I’ve always wanted.”
Eddie nods, kissing up your thigh, rising to collapse onto the couch over you and hug you tight. Warmth fills your stomach again, that warmth only Eddie can bring.
“My lovely— my sweetheart,” he mumbles into your neck, and you smile, finally. “Sunshine of life—,”
“— okay, that’s enough of that,” you giggle as he looks down at you, eyes full of adoration, all goey. “We’ll both be dead if we wake nana up.”
Eddie lets out an amused snort, hugging into you again.
“Never gonna let you go.” He vows, settling his weight as breathing you in.
“Promise?” You ask, still a bit on the fence. He brings his head up from your neck to face yours, hand stroking your cheek.
“Promise,” Eddie nods, and kisses your face all over.
Eddie always thought you were too good for this town, but could get used to the feeling that you wanted him. How it was always meant to be.
A/N: this was inspired by an ask submitted by the lovely @darth-aragorn , I hope you like it ❤️
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