Iris

[arcadiadoe]

(18+) You and Yuji find comfort amongst each other

(11:43 pm)

Your room is dead silent, your curtains are closed and you’ve been drowning in your bed for days. Clothes spill out of your laundry hamper and empty paper plates pile up on your desk. Energy drink cans, old plastic cups, and the half smoked joint sitting idly in your ashtray because nothing’s helping.

You feel your stomach twist from nausea, guilt, whatever. You roll onto your side and face the wall; you’re sure you’ve left a human shaped indent in your mattress by now.

But you just couldn’t stop thinking about Shibuya. About Nanami, Kugisaki, Gojo sensei— all those lives. It clawed at your brain and mocked you late into the night. You see their faces in your dreams, distorted and creepy. Nightmarish ghosts of your friends, figments of your horrible imagination. It scares you awake every night. So eventually you gave up on any hope of getting adequate sleep and the dark hallows under your eyes proved it.

The survivor’s guilt from making it out of there felt so wrong— so unjustified. So many casualties, so many in vain. And you’re here, four walls, a roof, and a job that’s draining you while simultaneously keeping you alive.

Your phone dings from somewhere under your sheets.

You’re too lazy to look for it. But then you feel it vibrate. Someone’s calling you, again.

You let it go to voicemail like you’ve been doing for the past few days. You’re finally left to dissociate in peace when it vibrates again.

“Shut up–”

You groan out in frustration, digging around your blanket till you find it. When you do, your face stills, and softens slowly.

Incoming Facetime from Yuji

…

Oh Yuji..

His contact photo lights up your screen. It’s the two of you at the movies. He’s taking the selfie from above and you’re smiling up at the camera with his arm loose around your shoulder.

God— you both look so young. How is it possible to change so drastically within just a few months? Now he’s got that giant scar between his eyes and the painfully visible change in his demeanor. You remember that day so well and summer feels like it’ll never come back.

You’re so lost in nostalgia that his attempt to call you dies and the ringtone stops. His image disappears and you’re left with the many notifications of your friends’ failed attempts to reach you.

You almost call him back. Almost— as your thumb hovers over the red text of his missed calls. But then the guilt floods right back and your shoulders feel like they weigh two tons. He’s been tryna get ahold of you regularly, all week. And you just feel so fucking terrible for ignoring him. He doesn’t deserve that, he really doesn’t.

Yuji’s your best friend.

Poor guy’s dealing with his own shit— he still probably thinks he’s responsible for everything that went down that day. You lay here bedridden on Shoko’s orders, but still. You can’t deny that you’re actively avoiding everyone.

Fuck, now your head’s hurting—

Your phone drops back on your bed. The battery was low anyway and you don’t care to look for the charger. It’s probably hiding somewhere in your trash dump of a dorm room.

…

ding.

ding.

Through your peripheral, you see your phone light up again. Your mind drifts back to him and the guilt digs deep in your stomach. Of course it does when he’s blowing your phone up. You’re just so ashamed; You can’t bear facing him. You’re scared it’ll never be the same.

You remember how Yuji scraped his hands raw on the concrete after he gained consciousness. Crying and screaming till his lungs gave out. He felt heartbroken, angry, disgusted. And his face was bloodied and paralyzed with fear. Unrecognizable. The way he stared off into nothing was uncanny, like he’d blacked out.

…

2 new messages from Yuji (11:52 pm)

hey, miss u

are u mad at me??

Your jaw clenched and the stinging in your eyes is borderline unbearable. With newfound strength, you sit upright and pull the covers off.

(1:12 am)

He almost can’t believe it when he sees who’s knocking on his door this late. He’s kinda annoyed until he turns the knob and it’s not at all who he expected.

It’s painful the way his heart skips.

“Hi..” Yuji huffs, soft and careful. Like you’ll go back to isolation if he says something wrong.

You look clean, your hair’s mostly dry from the late shower you just took. Your fingers toyed with the sleeve of your sweater and you look at the ground.

“Hey..” your voice comes out quiet. You can’t stand the way he’s looking at you, relieved and worried. Your presence alone is more than enough for him.

But you have to look, you missed memorizing his face. And he’s still Yuji, albeit the tired eyes, extra muscle, and scars marring his skin.

You stare a little too long at the one on the corner of his lip.

“Haven’t.. really seen you around..” He says while letting you inside.

You can tell you woke him up. His dorm is basic and boyish. It’s also relatively clean; It’s not even close to disheveled like yours.

“Yeah, sorry..” is all you can say. You wish you could apologize for every little thing.

Your back presses against the door and you quietly turn the lock behind you. click

You walk forward and sit on the edge of his bed. Yuji joins you as the mattress dips under his weight.

It just feels different around him now. The situation has changed, you guys had changed. But in classic Yuji fashion, he’ll do anything to get a smile out of you.

“I thought you were scared to see me for a minute..” He chuckles, nudging his shoulder with yours.

He’s kidding, sort of.

You shake your head though, and he perks up at the half smile that spreads your face.

“No, stupid.” You shove his shoulder back, harder.

He pretends it has more force than it does and smiles back.

Silence hangs in the air afterwards. Yuji bites down on his lip, contemplating before he speaks again.

“I tried calling.. I dunno if you got it.”

“I did. I’m sorry–

“No no, it’s cool, I just–

“No. It’s not, Yuji..”

You look at him, eyes big and apologetic. He’s staring at you like there weren’t a week’s worth of texts and missed calls from him already. Desperate ones about how he misses you, confused ones about why you won’t let him help, frustrated ones where he’s drunk or high and typing shit he doesn’t mean. You’ve read all of them.

“I should’ve answered..” You whisper.

You both ignored the way the lump in your throat made your voice shake.

His face softens and he looks to the ground. “Yeah..” He admits, “I really thought— you were pissed at me or somethin’..” Yuji rubs the nape of his neck.

“No.” You sigh, “never.”

When you turn to face him, he glances back at you.

“I thought you’d be mad at me too..”

“I mean, I was bummed.. for a little bit.” He recalls, “but that wouldn’t have been fair to you..”

“You were there too. The whole thing really fucked everyone up..” He alludes to Shibuya.

“I think we needed the time alone.” you say.

Yuji nods and smiles. You love when he smiles.

“It’s okay.” He reassured, “seriously,”

“I knew I’d see you again..”

Hell, he would’ve waited for you if you slipped into a coma.

Yuji’s just so nice, every single time. Even with all the bullshit thrown at you two. Before the lump in your throat turns to tears, your body moves towards him like a lifeline. His arms wrap around you the second yours do, heavy palms pressing you plush against his chest.

Your face is in his neck and his dusty pink hair tickles your forehead. You feel the heat building on his nape and the way his back relaxes. He shuts his eyes and inhales. Whatever shampoo you used smells good. He’s rubbing your back slowly, firmly.

“missed you..” Yuji’s voice vibrates against your chest.

“You already said that..” You tease,

“I know.” he hums.

Mattress springs creak in a rhythmic squeak; His dorm is hot and the humidity only builds with the continuous mix of pants and huffs.

Yuji’s completely undone under you. His face is pinker than the locks sticking to his sweaty forehead. His fingertips dig into the fat of your ass and he’s staring up at you like you’re an angel.

You initiated it. His dick twitched the second you put your hand on his thigh and leaned in with a soft whisper to his ear, “can I make it up to you?”

He blinks, his pupils dilate. “how?”

And Yuji doesn’t argue when you pull away to kiss his lips so sweetly. With a light palm on his chest, you guide him down on his back. His scar tickles while he kisses you, his teeth pinch your bottom lip when he bites down, and you probably wouldn’t care if he drew blood.

Now his hips buck upwards and you gasp when he starts rutting up into you. Strong arms hug your waist and Yuji’s pulling you against his chest. Your head falls in the crook of his neck and he’s back to whispering in your ear with that kind voice of his.

“Why didn’t we do this sooner, hm?”

“You’re so fuckin’ pretty..”

“Please look at me.. I wanna see..”

“D’you miss me?” and you cry out yes repeatedly.

The continued plap, plap, plap of skin gets louder and you’re too fucked out to moan straight. Your voice just gets caught in your throat with every thrust. Hazy eyes stare at him and you manage to lean close. The kiss you share is just a sloppy mix of tongue and whines at this point. But it’s everything to you.

“Ah– shit– I feel it..” Yuji warns, his tone significantly huskier, “stop squeezing..”

It’s like you’ve both relapsed off each other and this is the peak of it. You’d inject him into your veins if you could. You need him coursing through you, exactly like this.

“stop going so fast..” You answer, and Yuji just hugs you tighter as if to say, “no way”.

His biceps flex and the veins on his forearms protrude. He’s staring up at you through lidded eyes and his tongue lolls out the instant your chest bounces in his face.

fuck— the view up at you is hypnotic.

Yuji lifts a hand from around your waist to cup and squeeze your tits. He kisses, sucks, licks, whatever he can get out of you. Your chest is glistening with spit and littered in bruises when his mouth leaves your nipple with wet pop.

His fingers find their place between your bodies and starts rubbing quick circles on your poor clit. You immediately feel the gratifying jolt that fills your abdomen and you curse a moan into his shoulder.

Yuji’s chuckles and encourages with a kiss to your earlobe.

“wanna see you cum so badly..” He coos, and you nod desperately. You meet his thrusts with equal force while you bounce down on him, your ass smacks against his thighs.

All you two yearned for was this right here. To be able to melt into one another. You were starting to think this couldn’t possibly happen just once. You wanted him again and again. You were drunk dumb off your best friend.

Yuji’s holding back so heavily, just to watch you come undone first. He craved you with such hunger that he couldn’t fathom right versus wrong anymore. You yelp when his other hand comes around behind to pull your hair. Enough so he can have your neck wide open for him when you throw your head back.

“you take it so good..” Yuji dazes, inching close to kiss up your exposed throat. His voice vibrates on your skin and he can practically feel your moans.

Your body gives out just moments later when the build up in your abdomen finally snaps. It’s uncontrollable and he feels your thighs tense before you sob out, clinging onto him for dear life.

“Yujii— fuck — Yuji, I’m cumming!”

It’s downright pornographic the way you shudder and twitch over him. Your eyes can’t help but roll and your nails dig indents into his shoulders.

“yeahh, like that..” he coos, quiet kisses over the shell of your ear. “say my name like that..”

A sharp thrust upwards has you limp and you just melt into his grip. How could you resist?

“Yuji..” You gurgle, a disoriented mess on top of him. If you could just see yourself.

“Yuji, pleasee..” you drool onto his shoulder.

And he hums, hand lifting to land a couple loving hard smacks on your ass. The way you squeeze around him after was lethal and it’s just enough to teeter Yuji off the edge. He’s hurriedly rolling you over flat on your back. His dick slides out with a sopping squelch before his orgasm rips through him seconds after.

Now it’s your turn to watch in awe. With his palms pressed firmly on either side of your head, you stare with big eyes as his face wrinkles into the dazed grimace. “Ahahh fuuck– shit m’cumming imcumming—” he cries out. His voice is diminished to broken whimpers and heavy pants. He looks down to see your hand lazily pumping him, cum spurting out in milky strings over your navel.

His dusty pink hair dangles over your face as a drop of sweat from his jaw falls on your sternum. The room slowly fades into silence and Yuji eases off you. “sorry..” He cringes, grabbing tissues from his nightstand to clean your stomach.

You just smile and watch, hand lifting to tenderly rub his shoulder. “It’s okay..”

He crawls close, open mouthed kisses up your tired body until his lips catch yours. You hold him close and kiss him slowly, fingers combing his strands. You feel the way he can’t help but smile against your lips.

Yuji stills after a while, breathing soft as his shoulders rise and sink on top of you. He’s like a weighted blanket. The ceiling fan is turned on now, spinning a refreshing breeze above. You’re drifting to sleep under him as his hand moves off your hip. He leans over carefully to grab his phone off the nightstand. As he checks the time, his eyes read over a text notification he missed.

And he’s mortifyingly reminded of whose room is next door.

New message from Megumi (2:34 am)

Can you two shut the fuck up

Yuji blinks, then sets his phone back down quietly before pulling the blanket over your bodies. That was an issue for tomorrow. Cause with your sleepy kisses all over his scarred face, all he can comprehend is that he died and this is fucking heaven.