hold on to your heart

danni • 24 • she/her +desktop icon | +mobile icon

[qanhowell]

Why did we all assume Dan bottomed. Looking back at them now I'm not sure why we were so certain

[areyoudanhoward]

This is probably such a weird thing to show up on your dash, but it’s also something that needs to be said if I ever have any plans to come back to tumblr.

When I was 15-17 years old (I’m 25, so about 8-10 years ago) and running this account, I made some people very uncomfortable with my behavior. I started a group chat that I was eventually kicked out of for things that I don’t want to share, and honestly yes - out of shame. But that’s only a small part of it. I also don’t want to accidentally trigger anybody, or tell any stories that these individuals might feel aren’t even mine to tell.

The last thing I want is to come across as somebody who is disingenuous, or avoiding accountability. Maybe the fact that I’m making this post alone settles that for some of you, which is fine. I can’t control how my words are taken on the internet, only the way that I phrase them.

My point in making this post is to apologize to those that I have affected. Even if I was young, I was still old enough to know better. It would be extremely insulting to say “I’m autistic so I didn’t understand the gravity of what I was doing” or “I was going through trauma too”. As impressionable as I was to my environment, I still could have found so many other ways to react to it besides the way I did.

My actions might be seen as unforgivable by some, and I’m fine with that. There are people out there (in my personal life, not any of you) who I’ll never forgive either. But every single person who was affected by my actions deserves a sincere apology, something I have needed to give for years. I hold some hope that this could offer closure to some people, but honestly if you just scoff and scroll I understand that too. I hold no hard feelings for that.

I don’t expect forgiveness from anybody. Like I said, I’m only making this post because there are people I’ve met here that deserve to hear this more than I’ll ever feel I need them to forgive me.

I’m sorry this post was so long, but thank you if you read this far.

[pseudophan]

x

[areyoudanhoward]

No why is he deadass so hot

[areyoudanhoward]

A list of things Dan calls Phil

- honey

- diva

- stupid bitch

[areyoudanhoward]

Some man: I have severe IBS

Dan and Phil: your voice is so sexy, you should read audiobooks

[pherrible-influence]

Starting a rumour that the only reason phil wanted to come out with their relationship is so he could make cheesy couples tiktoks with dan

[hard4phan]

BAN AI. Let Phil Lester be the one to spread misinformation

[wotcaneyesay]

happy 16 years to dan and phil 💜

[areyoudanhoward]

Hi all!

I’m back, I think. Along with very many of you. I want to do a complete makeover of my blog, and by that I mean literally just changing the theme :’)

Anyway I’m 24 now. I’ll be 25 at the end of December. The last time I was on this blog I was about to go to college, and I graduated 2.5 years ago.

I’m a little bit nervous because I don’t exactly know how to run something like this without being a teenager, if that makes sense. I don’t even know if tumblr is that popular anymore. All I do know is that I want to reconnect with people I’ve met here and to meet more of you guys :)

[areyoudanhoward]

Are y’all still here 👁️👄👁️

[akilasanaa]

Dan and Phil really be out here being best friends and soulmates for the last 10 years, here’s to many more years!

•|my art|•(click for better quality!)

[gryphll]

"and through the magic of the internet, I met Phil"

[goldenpinof]

Dan and Phil be like:

[danrifics]

The two most important videos of Dan’s life

[areyoudanhoward]

vsco don’t u mean

vsksksksksksksko

[areyoudanhoward]

so does anyone else agree that dan telling phil to behave was fucking hot