hi tumblr.
i don’t know if anyone still reads these things anymore or if tumblr is just full of nudes and cats.. still.
i’m sorry for neglecting you all these years, i guess life has massively gotten in the way but i miss using tumblr as an outlet of my emotions and thoughts, and i guess at the moment i’m really struggling with a few things so its quite nice to have an empty-ish void to ramble into without having to really speak to people.
i moved in with my sister in November and its been incredibly difficult. don’t get me wrong i love her to pieces and i’m incredibly grateful that shes allowed me to live at her flat until i qualify but i have become a mother to her and my niece during my time here. i am cooking, cleaning, doing the nursery run, getting the baby up and putting her to bed, looking after her and being more than just an aunt. i adore the baby ton pieces so i don’t resent her and i know my sister is unwell but it is so bloody hard juggling being essentially a mother to a 21 one year old and a 2 year old whilst trying to finish my third year of nursing, working so i can sustain myself, having a partner and seeing friends.
I've been put back on anti depressants so i’m desperately waiting for the little bastards to kick in, although i am starting to feel a bit brighter and less hazy, so maybe they are working already! I really didn’t want to be on my meds whilst i work and start my career but i found myself getting agitated and irate at stupid little things so i guess it was super necessary for me to do so, and for that i’m proud of myself.
I've got myself my first nursing job!! me!! a bloody mental health nurse. i really cant believe it. I've booked my tickets for graduation on November 21st, and that’s it.. i’ll be a registered mental health nurse working in an incredible facility within an amazing trust. I've struggled again throughout this course as i seem to have isolated myself away from the group of friends i made in first year. maybe its my mental health making me sensitive or maybe i really am just an outcast of that group,. but that’s okay because i’m working within a completely different trust and area to the lot of them so an entirely fresh start for me... again.. which worries me slightly, and makes me wonder how my adjustment disorder will be, but i’m sure i’ll be okay, i hope i’ll be okay.I’m super excited but nervous to transition to a proper nurse, but i’m excited to see where my future goes and what is in store for me.
i mean, i act super excited about my nursing job but yet im procrastinating so hard from doing my dissertation and reflective essay, like what is actually wrong with me haha. there is barely anyhing between me and my management placement and im constanly dicking around lmao
I’m still with liam if you remember? the soppy posts from all those years ago about liking someone who made me feel sea sick. Three years next month can you believe? i thank my stars every day i have such an incredibly wonderful and supportive boyfriend, who listens to me endlessly babble about my life and stresses, and continues to encourage me to continue and be the best version of myself. I hope i get to marry him one day. he really, truly is my best friend and i am a lucky bugger to have him.
anyway thats my ramble done and i feel slightly better for it.im actually gonna start dong my dissertation amd mnake waves. gonna try hit another thousand by the end of the weekend!!
