Notes: I am somewhat using the High school/Junior High as a guide and somewhat not. Warning: I feel like I wrote too much lol. Also, it's very obvious to see who's my favorite.
Based in the year 2025.
❥ Armin
November 3, 2002
His parents are aircraft mechanics. He really wants to be like his parents as a kid until he finds his interest in the ocean.
He's a big nerd.
He's into D&D, fantasy, & reading.
He wants to become a marine biologist, and I can also imagine him wanting to write his own fantasy series.
Graduates valedictorian of his high school.
He goes to either UCLA, UCSD, University of Washington, or Boston University with a major in Marine Biology and a Public Policy Analysis minor (this is set in America because I'm American lol).
He gets a master of public policy to later work as a marine policy analyst/Ocean Conservation Policy Analyst.
❥ Eren
March 30, 2002
I can never take the college AU "gangster/drug dealer" Eren seriously because I imagine that is father is a doctor, and they are wealthy enough where his mother can be a sahm.
Grisha Jaeger, MD, MPH | Public Health Physician | Family Medicine Specialist | Medical Director, Population Health (something like that, where he works on public health (the disease he cured) and being a family doctor (Mikasa's family)). And, he works a lot so this packed title works.
Zeke is 10 years older than Eren, so they are not really close at all, but Zeke tries to at least stay in communication with his little brother.
I imagine him still going into the military because he feels a little aimless in a modern AU.
❥ Erwin
October 14, 1983
Raised by a single father. His dad taught him, so his father could be an elementary or middle school teacher. Still, Erwin seemed a bit well-off (able to get a formal education in aot, or at least middle class?) so not sure how that works. whatever.
He becomes a professor at a good university where he teaches history and/or American politics classes.
Shares conspiracy theories on facebook. He can easily be led into a tangent about them in class (don't do it).
Since he isn't in the scouts about to die every time he goes out of the walls, he gets married (take the L, Nile) and has a family.
A girl and a boy, that's all. The girl is older.
maybe i'll post some dadwin hcs someday...
❥ Hange
September 5, 1989
have they ever said anything about Hange's backstory??
They are distant from their family, not really visiting much. Still, Hange had a childhood where they had the opportunities to go to a good university and be provided for.
I can imagine Hange either being an only child or the second oldest in a family with four children total.
They get into an ivy league school (for this I am picking Cornell).
Their major is Chemical Engineering with a minor in Biomedical Engineering. They end up getting a PhD in Biomedical Engineering.
They become a Biomedical Engineer.
Very engrossed with their job. I don't really imagine a romantic life for them, unless maybe it was a coworker or something?
❥ Levi
December 25, 1988
He still grows up poor and without a father (sorry, bud). Either his mother is really sick, in and out of the hospital his whole childhood, or she ends up dying when he's young. Either way, Kenny helps them out, somewhat. He's probably in-and-out of jail.
He starts working really young, which makes him fail at school a bit; he struggles to focus on it. He's really good at math and PE though.
I can picture him being enrolled in some fighting class by Kenny.
Also, I like to think that Isabel is his adopted little sister or something, but I am not exactly sure how that fits into this kind of life. Maybe they were doing good until his mother got sick, so Isabel was adopted then?
Despite it all, he's still a bit of a brat as a tween/teen. He gets picked on which leads to fights which leads to getting in trouble. He's quiet, so he doesn't make friends until he joins a sports team (soccer, because he's a bit small to join other things lol). His one friend, Furlan, who is already on the soccer team, is the one who convinces him to join.
Still, he graduates high school, and he enlists into the army.
(I'm not the most educated in the military so forgive me):
If he was able to get a bachelor's during his time in service, applied for Officer Candidate school, and went from enlisted to officer, he would retire as a captain. If not, he would retire as Sergeant first class.
In this, I imagine he would get a BS in mathematics or something similar.
He sustains injuries and retires after 16 years (18-34).
Afterward, he is stuck trying to adapt to civilian life.
He could start use the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs to find a career relating to his degree (data analyst, etc.), or he could potentially become a Veterans Advocate (which I feel would fit him in this context). If nothing else, he could open a small tea shop.
I don't imagine him having a family, but let's just say he does. He'd need someone understanding of the stuff he went through, and maybe someone who had known him for a bit before his injuries.
I already have dadvi hcs. He has two girls or a single son.
❥ Mikasa
February 10, 2002
Her parents are alive in this (yay). They lived in farmlands, so I'd say that in this Mikasa's family owns a little farm. Her father is a full-time farmer; he also hunts as well. Her mother helps on the farm and sells/does embroidery services online.
Mikasa is a goth country girl.
She has a little brother.
Fanfic writer (lol), witch (started getting into it in 2020), really into cryptids
Not really sure what I imagine her doing in the future, but she could either work on her parent's farm, go to cosmetology school (make up artist), or a sonography tech.
Mikasa lives in the city for a bit, wanting to branch out from the life she was used to.
She finally gets the peaceful life she wants. Mikasa is family-orientated, staying close to her family throughout her life.
She gets married and has three daughters. She'd be happy to live like her parents and live on a farm with her family, teaching her daughters how to work on a farm. So, after awhile, I think she moves back into the rural life.
tags: hurt/comfort, you and armin are married, mentions of reader having depression/anxiety, themes of feeling like a failure. will add tags if needed
synopsis: after struggling to find a job for months, you finally break down under the pressure to succeed. your husband, ever the perfect partner, is there to help you.
notes: this is coming from a rather personal place so if it’s too specific uh. sorry idk. hopefully someone out there relates to it lol
armin is a light sleeper. you’ve known that for as long as you’ve known him, even before you shared a bed with him. after being married to him for over two years, you’ve learned to use the restroom just before going to sleep, because there is absolutely no chance of getting up without him noticing and having to fall back asleep all over again.
after an evening consisting of leftovers and watching your husband read while masterchef junior played on the tv in the background, you’re sat up in bed while your husband sleeps soundly beside you. the digital clock on his bedside table reads 1:48am, and your body is begging you to lay down and rest, but your mind has other plans.
you’ve been out of a job for a year and a half now. after spending countless hours, tears, sleepless nights and more over your degree, you haven’t been able to land a full time offer related to your field, your passion. sure, you’re married to a prodigy of a lawyer who has expressed multiple times that he is more than happy to support both of you and that he feels no ill will toward you for being unemployed, but nothing he says or does to reassure you can drown out the voices of the other people in your life:
your parents, who raised you with the intent and dream of you standing on your own two feet. your friends, who shouldered your sadness and gave you the strength to push through university. friends of your family, who watched from the sidelines and seem to wish nothing for you but good things and high hopes. coming so far just to be stuck at the second leg of this marathon when so many people have been cheering for you feels like you might as well have never started the race at all.
it haunts you, eats at your limbs and pulls at your skin when no one else is looking. sometimes you feel like you can hardly look at your husband, that you’re dragging him down with you. he’s kind, considerate, a genius at his craft. he deserves someone of the same caliber.
“y/n?”
speaking of which.
armin’s voice carries a bit of gravel as he’s roused from his slumber, lifting his head up and squinting to see your silhouette in front of the bedroom window.
you’re quick to turn to him, giving him a soft smile. “did i wake you? sorry, honey, you can go back to sleep.”
as good as you are at hiding your sadness, your husband can see right through you. even though he’s just woken up.
“what’s the matter?”
the question hangs in the air. on any other night, you would brush it off and give an easy “nothing” and that would be that.
however, a dam can only hold so much water.
you take in a long, slow breath. “i…don’t know,” you exhale. “just thinking, i guess.”
the sheets shuffle as armin sits up next to you. “about what?”
“job stuff,” you mumble. he nods, knowing all too well how you’ve been struggling with this subject.
“anything in particular?”
the question is gentle. armin is gentle, almost unfairly so, but his tone holds a stubbornness that tells you he’s not going back to sleep until he gets to the bottom of what’s plaguing you.
before you can stop it, you’re taking in a shaky breath and tears are welling in your eyes.
“i don’t know. it’s so frustrating when i send in at least thirty applications a day, taking the time to adjust my resume and cover letter for each one, only to be either ignored or rejected. even for positions i know i’m qualified - hell, even overqualified - for. and i know it would be smart to just move on to a field that has more demand, but i can’t help but think that would mean i’m admitting defeat, and that i wasted my time in college. i feel like i’m letting everyone down - my parents, my friends, my extended family, people that don’t even know me, and…well, you.”
you don’t even realize the tears are falling or that your voice has crescendoed until your mouth closes and the room falls silent, save for the air conditioner humming in the background.
armin is quiet for a moment. you know the gears are turning, that he’s processing, that he’s thinking of the perfect thing to say to calm you down just like he always does, but part of you is begging that he doesn’t say anything. or admits you’re right.
he chooses to go with another option: his arm comes to rest over your shaking shoulders, and he pulls you to his chest. he embraces you in a hug, one that isn’t particularly sturdy, but it’s still enough that the walls come tumbling down and you’re unable to do anything except grab onto his shirt and wail in his arms.
you hardly have moments like this. you’re so used to keeping things together, for putting on a brave face, for enduring it all because that’s all you were ever told you could do. crying was only seen as weakness, and feeling sorry for yourself never got you anywhere. don’t complain; know your shit. you were raised to be something more than what you are right now.
but armin tells you something different as your cries turn to sniffs and your tears turn into trickles.
“you’re doing perfectly fine just as you are.”
another sob wracks your body. he rubs his hand up and down your back and continues.
“i see a lot of people who have given up on a daily basis. i see people who are quick to throw in the towel and take the easy way out. look at me,” he says, waiting for you to blink up at him, “you are not one of those people. you never have been. the world is unfair, and it’s throwing stone after stone at you, but you haven’t let it defeat you. you deserve some credit for trying as hard as you are.”
you sniffle. the sound is ugly, and you’re sure you look horrible right now, but armin is looking at you as if you filled the oceans with water and breathed life into the land.
“no matter what you do, how long it takes to get where you want to be, how many times we have nights like this, you will never let me down. i promise. okay?”
he gently guides your chin up so you can look at him properly, so you can see how serious he is even in the dark of your bedroom.
“okay.”
he presses his lips to your forehead, and lets you rest your cheek on his shoulder, leaning both of you back so you can lay together. you’re still crying, you know he knows, and you thank every deity imaginable that he does nothing but hold you as your tears run dry and you drift off to sleep in his arms.
if you’re in a similar position i really feel for u, i know it’s hard and i’m not going to promise you it’ll be better immediately but i will tell you you’re not alone <3 you can do it!
i just finished my rewatch and i hate everything so here r some relationship hc’s to cure me
eren bf headcanons part 1 & part 2
EREN.
first and foremost LOVES south park and has mastered the cartman voice and annoys u with it constantly
not a complete disaster in the kitchen despite what you might think, he has an apron that says ‘kiss the cook’ and if u don’t kiss him he follows you around whining like a toddler until you have no choice
big fan of laying down and putting his entire body weight on you. it doesn’t matter how hard you smack him, he will not get off of you!!! and if you bite or lick him he’ll take that as an invitation if u know what i mean
really sensitive heart :( he doesn’t like it, but he cries easily and is quite hard on himself. likes to be pampered from time to time and reminded that you love him. head scratches in particular make him melt
prefers nights in as opposed to going out and dressing up and all that. why would he put on pants and spend a bunch of money on a meal in a stuffy restaurant when you two can lounge in your underwear, eat pizza, and play video games together?
that being said, he DOES like going out for the sole reason of coming back, taking off the outfit that you worked so hard to put together, and messing up your hair wink wink
let you take him to get his first piercing and was kind of a weenie about it but REALLY likes how he looks with it
there are no boundaries between you. if you’re on the toilet, he’s sitting on the bathroom counter telling you about his epic victory royale against jean last night. if he’s sweaty from the gym you’ll tell him exactly how stinky he is and he’ll laugh as he picks you up and hauls you to the shower with him.
ARMIN.
runs long, intricate dnd campaigns with you and the scouts. he’s SO good at coming up with twists and turns and tying everything together. he says he’s fine if you want to romance another player’s character but also coincidentally always has an npc that you can’t help but fall for
doesn’t have a whole lot of belongings aside from books so whenever you two move in together you kinda have free reign of your home. all he asks is that he has a bookshelf all to himself. or two. and a space for his lucky coffee mug.
he grew up with just his grandpa, so it was really hard on him when he passed. he really enjoys spending time with you and your family, regardless of whether it’s dysfunctional or not. he’s at every holiday, charming your ornery grandparents and reading to your little cousins.
if you’re a homebody, he’s kind of a nag about getting you outside at least once a day. he gets a couple of chairs for your porch and you guys eat dinner out there a lot and watch the sun go down while you talk about your days
loves an afternoon nap. if you don’t have anything going on during the weekend, he undoes the bed (that he makes every morning) and cracks a window open and he’s dragging you to lie down with him while a video essay plays on his phone in the background
big pasta guy. prefers a light sauce, like a butter-based sauce or wine sauce. bad day? spaghetti. great day? penne. if there are no dinner plans, he’s probably already deglazing a pan with a bottle of pinot grigio and boiling fettuccine. ugh malewife
also surprisingly handy??? he thinks of fixing things or hanging pictures like a geometry problem so as long as a project doesn’t require like. a jackhammer. he can get it figured out
really into historical dramas!! he thinks documentaries can get a bit boring but he likes watching dramas or reenactments and then researching the differences between the show and reality.
JEAN.
big vinyl guy!!! somehow not in a pretentious annoying way (most of the time), he just has a cool turntable setup and a good collection of records spanning everything from miles davis to noah kahan to the saturday night fever soundtrack. he likes putting on some oldies and dancing around with you
no place is too far for him to drive to get you. if you're an hour away and drunk off your ass with your friends you tell him you'll just get an uber home and he says "over my dead body" and gets in the car immediately to get you. doesn't care if it's 3am
on that note he'll also drive your friends home too. yes he's the guy that does stuff for your friends too because if they're important to you they're important to him!!! he gets them birthday gifts and pays for their food if you go out together
had a phase where he was WAY too into hair gel/wax until you had to tell him he looked like someone out of west side story. to this day connie calls him 'grease lightning' much to jean's dismay and your delight
unfortunately he takes up the whole couch. he's just tall and all legs and he can't make himself compact so he makes up for it by letting you lay on top of him or sit on his lap. plus you can pick whatever movie you want
doesn't ever really get insecure about your relationship. why would he be concerned over the guy at the grocery store asking for your number when you come home to HIM and the weekly bouquet of flowers he gets you?? (however, said grocery guy is getting fucked up if you so much as whisper that you're uncomfortable)
if you guys decide to have kids, he is SUCH a good dad!!! he has those kids on his shoulders at the amusement parks and they have matching outfits and everything. when they're teenagers he's great about laying down the law without being a jerk about it. cries at every wedding
really loves when you get new clothes and come home and model them for him. especially if you happen to have a cute new set of lingerie for him to wolf whistle at. most of the time this results in him whisking you off to the bedroom hehe
CONNIE.
thinks you two are the funniest pair alive and is constantly saying "we HAVE to start a podcast babe" and then you tell him that the world doesn't need another couples podcast but he's convinced that you two could actually make it big
in my mind connie is at least half latino (i'm texan and i say he's from the rio grande valley bite me!!!) so he is constantly bringing home food that his abuela and tias make. tamale season is so peak you guys are stocked for months
he's really good at skateboarding but terrible at trying to teach you how. "just flip the thing and land" and you try and he's like "no the OTHER thing here let me show you" BUT! if you finally land a trick he's whooping and cheering and your biggest fan
he has a tattoo on his scalp and it looks so good UGH. if he wants to change things up he can simply grow out his hair for a couple of weeks and then it's hidden. however he loooooves when you trace over it with your fingertips it drives him nuts
he has a pretty lanky build despite not purposely working out. he's just an active guy - if there's a place within a reasonable walking distance why would he drive when he can just walk or board?? if you're not a fan of walking that much he gives u a piggyback ride no problem
winning every idgaf war. not afraid of being stared at so he will do anything and everything to make you laugh even if he looks like a total moron.
back to latino connie - when he gets pissed at jean and/or eren during a game he starts RAVING at them in spanish and you can hardly understand him even if you're fluent bc he talks SO FAST and rambles and talks in circles but it's really funny. you often hear 'CÀLLATE, PUTA!!!' from the other room
somehow able to do pda without it being weird. like you know how when you go to a concert there's always that couple that's hanging off each other and it's uncomfortable for everyone in a certain radius??? he's like that but it's so natural for him that no one rly cares if his arm's around you. ig it's his effortless charm or whatever.
LEVI.
he's brutally honest and doesn't mince his words so if you're sensitive then i'm sorry LOL. he's still kind about it but if there's something wrong he'll just tell you. doesn't see the point in dancing around an issue.
similarly, he is an excellent communicator. he's very good at expressing his thoughts without being a total jackass about it, but he doesn't sugarcoat things. he's super good at texting back and picking up the phone - you'll almost always get an answer from him within 10 minutes even if he's busy
annoyingly punctual! if you two have somewhere to be, he's mapping out the route and calculating the time to get there with allowance for traffic, and even then your ass better be in the car 10 minutes early. if you have to do your makeup or whatever in the car then so be it
unintentionally really funny???? it may just be me but something about a guy who's so serious and badass using phrases like "look at these big ass trees" makes me giggle. he's good at being crass at the perfect time and doesn't get why you're laughing but it makes him smile all the same.
he's not super into tv or movies or anything but will sit down and watch something with you if you ask. just expect him to comment on how stupid and predictable the main character is or ask why that couple won't just talk to each other instead of having a 3-episode-long miscommunication. he's very cynical lol
since he doesn't have much of a family, he cherishes you above everything else. he would move heaven and earth for you the second you ask. treats you like royalty and if you think for one second you don't deserve it he will set you straight!!!
didn't grow up with any pets or anything so he doesn't really care to have one. thinks they make unnecessary messes and stink up your house. but if you bring in a stray he can't help but ask if it's been fed on time and if you need him to schedule that vet appointment.
he's a big softie when it's just the two of you. not in a weird or toxic way where he's aloof in public, he just has a hard time letting his guard down unless he knows you both are safe and sound at home. like he'll have a hand on your back if you're in a crowd but when he's home with you he's resting his forehead on your shoulder while you're cooking dinner yknow. very quietly whispers that he loves you - you don't have to say anything back.
i'll probably do a pt 2 with the marley guys and maybe another with the ladies!!! who knows!!!! im coping!!!!!!!!
nobody asked, but here are some general (sfw) mikasa headcanons because she’s been on my mind <3
She’s a neuroscience major throughout university. She works as one of the only undergraduates in Dr. Ackermann’s lab. She’s not his biggest fan, but she knows this is a huge deal and is beneficial to her, so she stays.
Mikasa is ambidextrous!
Mikasa and Armin have their own little book club where they recommend each other books to read and discuss them.
She loves horror movies… a lot. Eren goes with her to see the newest ones in theatres, and will watch any marathons with her even though they scare him shitless most of the time.
summary ; the universe maybe doesnt hate jean as much as he thought it did, he thinks, bumping into you with too much in his hands.
warnings ; not proofread. HEAVY YEARNER jean
a/n ; i had a lot of fun writing this :3 ive been so extremely stressed lately and i wrote this as a break on the metro ONCE and genuinely got into a flow state. anyway, i hope you guys enjoy reading it as much as i did writing it.
if you saw me posting this before, no you didnt. tumblr is being so weird.
taglist ; @holding-infinity-and-a-book , @jeanscremebrulee , @mrsnobodynobody , @hopeless-anti-romantic-again , @berrijam , @happxme , @cherrypieyourface , @imgayandshesanime , @moonmalice , @raazberry , @kivernova , @potaho3frog , @xakilicious , @gojo-ana , @ppushable , @zombiefiedskeivy , @candleofhappiness , @alt—er—love , @1ovede1uxe , @sevriizy , @toscapaeron , @whoevenisjessica , @simone-tb , @mrsryuguji , @bxsmxx , @mxhemmings-l , @jazfartz2
✿ masterlist is in pinned post! ✿ enter my taglist! ✿ requests for headcanons are open! ✿
★ CHAPTER ONE ★
middle tile art creds ; @/yuka_levi on twitter!
The universe hates Jean.
The line to Sina Bakery was abnormally long. And Jean would know, being a regular with his guilty indulgence - he'd rather take a bullet to his head than admit that he liked the sweet iced mocha, especially to Sasha - especially during lunch hour.
Sina stood to be a tiny-ish bakery tucked away in the quieter street down the block from the precinct, and proved itself as Jean’s favourite place to go. At least once a week, he'd catch himself almost drooling over their flaky pastries and sweet drinks as a stark contrast to his green juice which, yes, he definitely likes because it makes him feel healthy.
his hands fidget with the lint in his jacket pocket as he waits in the line that now extends beyond him, with only two people before him. He needs a win this day, especially after the week he's had.
First, he's slacking on the amount of cases he'd solved as compared to Eren. The whiteboard held the proof of his sore losses, the black ink becoming a menacing presence that Jean couldn't blink without seeing. Second, his alarm has stopped working, making Captain Ackerman squint at him with disappointment clear in his steely eyes, Sasha and Connie snickering in the background as he got a talking-to in the office. Then there was…. the pretty stranger. The taste of the hot chocolate still coated his tongue, and he was well aware that it was incredibly weird of him to miss the smell of an apartment that he had been to only once in his life.
And then, lastly, the thing that occurred this morning. God, Jean shudders as he recalls it.
Sasha had bet him, childishly, saying she could eat his lunch in less than three minutes. Jean liked to think he was a decent cook, giving his mother her due credit for his albeit limited skills, and he liked to pack at least two lunchboxes just in case he was planning on staying in the precinct till late.
He was so certain she couldn't finish it in three minutes.
What a barbarian. She completely demolished his lunches in two minutes and fourty-three seconds.
Which is why it seemed like the entire universe was against him this week.
“Oh, hey Mr. Kirstein!” Falco greeted, a pleased smile gracing his face. Jean had gotten used to seeing him and his friends even more over their spring break; the fact that the kid remembered him was only a testament to the amount of times he visited this place.
“hey, Falco. how's it going?” he asked, a small smile curving his mouth involuntarily. Falco reminded him of Marco - always trying to keep the peace, always the best communicator of the bunch.
The kid shrugged as a loud crash sounded at the back, followed by a frustrated grunt. A small, muttered “sorry,” echoed in the silence, and Gabi hunched over the shot of espresso that now lay spilled over the counter.
Falco turned back to Jean, painting a nervous smile on himself. “hah, can't complain,”
the familiarity of it all made jean almost want to laugh. “i think you should,” he mutters, “she’s kinda like Yeager,”
Thankfully, Falco finds this a little funny, his shoulders shaking with a small laugh. “that says alot about me. anyway, should I put in the usual today?”
jean chooses not to ponder on the former part of that statement. “actually, do you guys have two dozen donuts?”
that makes Falco pause, eyes widening a fraction either by surprise or by disbelief. “two dozen?”
jean nods, pursing his lips together without choice. not only did he now not have any lunch, he was spending money for the bet that he lost.
the kid hums in consideration, turning his head over his shoulder to call out to gabi. “do we have two dozen donuts in the back?”
“I'll…go check,” she says, heaving a sigh as she finishes cleaning the marbled counter.
only about fifteen minutes later, Jean's hands are now heavier with two boxes of assorted donuts, a cup of iced mocha balanced on top of the lid, his wallet significantly lighter.
tossing a loud “thank you!” to Falco and gabi, jean makes his way out of the bakery, balancing the donuts in one arm, the other hand holding his coffee to his mouth, barely noticing the fast approaching body in front of him.
before jean had a moment to relax and enjoy the cool mocha, the wind was knocked out of his lungs, half his drink spilling onto the stranger, and, god, now the sleeve of his jacket was wet.
“watch where yo-” “I'm so, so sorry,” the warm familiarity of your voice makes him snap his mouth shut, his rapidly increasing annoyance quickly diminishing to nothing.
he felt like he was in a stupid romcom. not that he'd know, he doesn't watch that many, much to Connie’s dismay, but with the wind whipping his hair away from his forehead, kissing his cheeks with redness that he wished would leave immediately made him feel like the cameras were on him, catching his fluster by the throat, he felt like he was living in a cliche with cameras pointed directly at him.
“Detective Kirstein.” you speak, and he watches the softness of your lips pull apart and together to spell his name. Such little effort that still made jean want to legally change his first name to Detective.
He mumbles your name sheepishly, his hand still dripping with the residual coffee. “Good to see you again,”
“Im so sorry, i was barely watching where i was going- let me make it up to you,” you said, looking at his stained arm. Thankfully, wearing a leather jacket had somewhat protected him; he could just wipe off the residue and then send it to the dry cleaners. He’d received the jacket as a birthday gift from his sister as soon as jean graduated from the academy and it soon became a part of his daily uniform, and the fact that your hand was now touching it was sending shivers down his spine more than the coolness of the drink.
“There's… no need, really-” “-come on, i wasted your 6 bucks,” you cut him off, and if this was anyone else, he’d argue more. If this was anyone else, he would've grumbled at them to pay attention for bumping into him and went on about his day, but no, it was you, and selfishly, he wanted to spend more time with you.
“If you insist.” he conceded with a soft smile, taking you up on your invitation without an ounce of remorse. The universe’s apology for a shitty week came to him with a casual smile and a light blue sweater, now dabbing off the coffee with a cloth, holding his left hand with a gentleness that he’d never felt before.
“Y’know,” you spoke, making him look into your eyes. He wondered if you knew that you were still holding onto his hand. “I didnt know that the stereotype was true.”
Jean tilts his head in confusion. “Stereotype?”
“Youre carrying two entire boxes of donuts… as a cop.” you point out, head nodding towards the boxes, forgetting that he was carrying them in his right arm, gripping them into reality.
He breathes out a laugh, shoulders shaking softly.
“Hey, in my defense, these arent for me.” he says, shrugging, an easy smile on his lips.
“Oh? Who are they for, then?” you push, brows shooting up; not with curiosity, but with challenge.
Oh, jean liked you.
“Theyre for my friend. We had this stupid bet where i didnt think she could finish my lunchboxes - two of them, by the way, and full portions - in less than three minutes,” you smirked knowingly, as if you were in on it. “I guess it was my bad that I underestimated her. She finished it with seventeen seconds to spare and gloat.” his annoyance was warranted, yet his voice still held the affection he couldnt shake off for his friend.
You hummed, “sounds like she came prepared.”
He scoffed, “i dont doubt that. She eats in a way that gets me scared of her ending up in the hospital.”
“And yet you dared her,”
“Hey,” he says, tone defensive. His smile never slips, however, “that was more of a rhetorical question than a challenge. She told me, i can finish those boxes in like two seconds,” his voice pitches up almost comically, trying his best to impersonate his best friend. You laugh without constraint as he continues, making him smile wider in the process, a little proud, “and i said, i dont think you can, and then bam, before i knew it, eren and connie - my other coworker, were recording her and timing her.”
“Truly traumatizing,” you say, laughter softening.
“The worst ive ever faced in my career.” he says, earning himself another laugh. Youre still holding onto his hand and he wonders if he can feel his pulse beating under his skin, if you can sense it going in sync with the sound of your laugh. “Come on, lets head back in, i’ll buy you another iced… whatever that was.” you say. Your voice makes it sound like its not even a command - which it’s decidedly not - but the gentle tilt of your head makes him think he’d follow you anywhere youd ask him to.
Describing the situation later was not easy.
Sasha almost demanded an explanation for why her donuts were cold and late, why he left for the bakery almost an hour before and returned with a brighter mood and a small smile.
Connie made kissing noises from his seat as they huddled next to jean (without his consent, he’d like to point out), marco joining from his desk as well. The rest remained seated at their own places, but he knew their ears were peeled for the latest - and probably only - update on jean’s non-saucy, non-descriptive love life.
“Thats it, she just… bought me a black coffee,” he said, lying straight through his teeth. Marco smiled earnestly, but sasha rolled her eyes. “Bullshit. There has to be more.” “was this a date?” connie asked, his elbows leaning on the back of his chair as he sat backwards on the worn-out cushions.
“There isnt more, and even if there was, i-” jean says, eyeing the rest of his coworkers suspiciously. Eren was tilting a little too much towards jean from his seat, armin glancing back to his work, and reiner unashamed about his public eavesdropping. Jean shifted closer into his huddle, mumbling, “i wouldnt say it here. And it wasnt a date, connie,”
“But you like her.”
The pause before jean's answer sealed his fate more than any word he could utter. “No,” another blatant lie, one which he knew none of them would buy as they leaned back into their chairs almost simultaneously.
“HA!” eren’s voice was loud and mocking, and he now made no attempts to cover up his own nosiness, the rest of the bullpen now suddenly finding themselves near jean’s desk. Before jean could even argue, however, eren continued his mocking.
“You shouldve seen the guys face when we met her! He was all moon-eyed and he couldnt even ask her basic questions.” he boasted, a laugh punctuating the end of his statement.
“I was not moon eyed-” “-oh my god, i can so see that!” sasha speaks, followed by an infuriating “jeanboy's in looooooveee” by connie.
“Im not-”
“impressive as hell, kirstein” reiner says, nodding his head to god knows what. “How is it impressive?” marco says, and to jean’s surprise, he finds himself a little offended at that question.
“I dont know, finding love in this landscape-” reiner starts. “like, politically?” armin asks, followed by a, “no, i think he means sexually.” by eren.
Everyone falls silent at that, chairs creaking as all of them turn to eren’s mumble.
He looks up from his paper, noticing the eyes on him. Glancing at reiner, almost shrinking in his seat, he says, “no i mean… because your last crush was… yknow,”
“A lesbian,” mikasa uses her rare words to describe the Sergeant's situation. It seemed to be all the speak last month, with reiner never shutting up about his crush on historia, the pretty blonde with a stolen - and very expensive - purse.
Reiner cleared his throat. “Whatever,” he muttered, turning back around to his desk.
“How do you know she's not a lesbian?” marco asks, leaning his weight on his left arm, elbow resting on the bent plastic of his chair.
“No!” sasha exclaims before jean can even try to think about his question.
There’s another pause in the precinct. Sasha defends herself with a anxious laugh, “i mean, she clearly seems to be reciprocating,”
“Yeah, she wouldn't have asked to buy you a coffee otherwise!” connie says, uncharacteristically nervous, jean and marco glancing at each other with suspicion. Reiner - now standing against his desk, arms crossed over his chest, looks just as suspicious as the other two. “Is that wishful thinking or are you just that desperate for jean to get a girlfriend?”
“Hey!” jean did not appreciate his love-life being put on full blast without his consent. “For the record, i dont think she’s a lesbian either-” “-is what reiner thought too-” “-fuck off, yeager. But i agree with connie. She wouldnt have offered to buy me black coffee otherwise.”
“Kirstein, Yeager, what’s the update on the Hoffmann murder?” Captain Ackerman’s voice booms across the precinct, cold and demanding. Connie rolls back to his desk, struggling to scoot his body back to facing his desk. Jean and Eren stand up, backs straight, faces serious.
“We have a lead,” eren says, beating jean to it.
From his spot near his cabin door, Captain Ackerman nods. “Come into my office to discuss it. And kirstein?”
“Yes, sir!”
“Stop pretending you drink black coffee.”
“...yes, sir,”
Everyone snickers.
The universe still hates jean, he thinks. But your smile flashes into his mind, a gentle sway of his heart following it. Maybe the universe doesnt hate him too much.
