i made a sworn promise

"Can your precious "justice" keep you warm at night? Can it feed you when you're hungry? Or make you less lonely!?" Rouga Aragami | 荒神ロウガ Affiliated with Toshi City Aster Apt. Room 2

[roleplaymmemes]

Send me ☆ + a question and my muse will have to answer it truthfully with absolute honesty

[armourknight-blog]

fence-mending

[kyouya-gaen-blog]

Something didn’t feel right in the air of Toshi City.  It was a day where the culmination of every treachery and regret seemed to grind at Kyouya’s subconscious, putting him in a more susceptible position than usual. Deals of the past, bitter melancholy of the present… a toxic concoction of the nastiest of combinations to roam one’s emotions. Not that he could lose his cool demeanor now… he was Gaen Kyouya. He never lost his calm. He wasn’t allowed to.

Especially when the most recent summons had been from the very person he had been hoping to see for a long, long time. An awaited reunion, or what have you, that was incredibly past due.  Rouga…. As he made the trip by foot, a very humble effort by his standards, he had entirely disregarded the recommendation of being chauffeured to his destination–after all, even Kyouya himself enjoyed basking in the city life every once and awhile. At least as he walked, he could predetermine his words.. figure every little cut and paste iteration he would have to say. Even if they were not his true feelings. Because that was how he worked–because that’s what he had vowed himself to do since the day they were forced to part. The flush of green of the park amidst the concrete jungle of brick and mortar was a sight for sore eyes; coming to see a certain figure standing idle in the shade of a tree, did Kyouya recognized Rouga without a second glance. After all, how could he ever mistake him for anyone else? That would be the greatest insult of all.

“… I’ve wanted to talk with you for a while now. Thanks for finding the time to indulge me…Kyouya.”

“I was surprised, hearing you call me out like this.. How could I say no, dearest Rouga?” The sound of that rough baritone… something that Kyouya had yet to adjust to. It sounded so cold, and oddly indifferent… and yet it was completely mismatched to the way that the other held and looked back at him. Eyes that bled so much underlying concern and affection.. How could you ever think you’d be able to stop being the kind-hearted soul you’ve always been? No amount of abuse from my side could erase that part of you, I’m sure… “… I know what you’re going to say, what you’ve called me out here for. So I suggest you save both of our time and get straight to the point.”

[armourknight-blog]

Dearest... It was still strange and mildly grating to be referred to in such a way time and time again. Oftentimes it felt like he was being mocked, or wasn’t being taken seriously, and that...even after the years apart, when it came to Kyouya, that still got under his skin in the worst way.

He’d ignore it for now, though. Kyouya’s occasionally insufferable attitude wasn’t what he’d come here to discuss.

“Well, that’s a relief. If you already know, then I don’t have to bother building up to it.” Rouga replied, seemingly indifferent to the bluntness of Kyouya’s words. He was much the same, after all. “I want to know something before that, though, and I want you to answer seriously. It’s something I’ve wondered about for a long time.”

He paused, finally turning his head to look Kyouya directly in the eye.

“Back then...why did you take off so suddenly? Without any warning...?”

Rouga’s brow furrowed, and though his tone of voice remained even, his next words came more quietly.

“... And why...didn’t you take me with you...?”

[armourknight-blog]

fence-mending

It had been some time since he and Kyouya had spoken one on one--a month at least, or perhaps even longer than that. Rouga hadn’t been keeping count. He’d long since learned the benefits of neglecting to, especially where Kyouya was concerned. Kyouya, who could so easily appear to ignore their history, their falling out...the time Rouga had spent struggling to find his footing in a suddenly dark and empty world, like nothing had ever happened. 

Whether it’d been as short as one month or as long as three, though...the teen didn’t find himself especially anxious either way. On the contrary, he felt...rather calm--though he probably could guess why. 

“......”

Rouga knew precisely what he was doing here. He wasn’t confused, or hesitant like he’d been when he first arrived in this city. He knew what he wanted to say--what he’d wanted to say for some time--and now, under the shade of a tree in a quiet and decidedly empty park, all that remained was to actually say it. He wasn’t wholly sure where it’d be best to start in something like this, but...

“... I’ve wanted to talk with you for a while now. Thanks for finding the time to indulge me...Kyouya.”

[armourknight-blog]

Your beauty makes it hard to keep from staring. Neh, won't you go on a date with me?

“Is this all the same person...?! I refuse--now back off.”

[armourknight-blog]

Has anyone ever told you that you have a really nice butt?

“You can’t be serious.”

[armourknight-blog]

Well. Hello, gorgeous. ;]

... What.

[armourknight-blog]

when all that’s left is...

[ryuuenjisenpai-blog]

He thought it’d be that. That that would be where their grounds for conversation ended, and they’d go on in silence. Maybe it was better that way. What more could he say? Tasuku didn’t want pity, not from Rouga, not from anyone. So–

“… Don’t let it break you.”

“…?”

“No matter the pain you feel, or how badly you don’t want it to, life goes on…and so will you.”

Just move on… It was harder than it sounded. But…Rouga was trying to help him, in his own way. 

“…Aragami…”

He had no idea what Rouga was going through, or who the subject of Rouga’s woes were… And Rouga knew nothing about his own woes either. And yet…

“……”

He quickly turned his head away, staring down at his drink for fear that if he continued looking into those steely blue eyes, he would finally succumb to the mounting sorrow and loneliness and break down. He couldn’t yet.

But maybe those words were all he had needed to hold out for a little while longer. Because if he let it consume him, then there would be nothing left for Aichi’s return, no?

“…Thank you…”

He couldn’t stop his voice from quivering, though.

[armourknight-blog]

He wasn’t entirely sure what had prompted him to share a personal life lesson with Tasuku--or to give him advice at all. Hah...had the loneliness finally gotten to him? Had the desire to vent, even minimally, finally overpowered him? Had he just...felt relief, that someone could finally, genuinely relate to him?

Rouga didn’t know. This whole conversation had been bizarre from the start--

--but he’d be lying if he said he didn’t feel slightly lighter now. He hadn’t divulged anything about his own circumstances, true, but even so...even so, just knowing he wasn’t actually alone in feeling the way he did felt...what was the word? Validating, perhaps?

... Bizarre.

“I only told you the reality of circumstances like...” A moment’s hesitation. “--...ours. If you're still as annoyingly stubborn as you were back in Chō Tokyo, you’ll be just fine.”

Rouga turned his attention back to his own drink, brow furrowing. Speaking so civilly with the guy he’d once (still?) considered his enemy...it wasn’t terrible, but it still felt a little too strange for comfort.

Yeah...that was enough for today.

[armourknight-blog]

when all that’s left is...

[ryuuenjisenpai-blog]

…Nothing?

No scoffs, no guffaws, no jeering… Just bitter silence. Tasuku looked over to find the other teen, instead, with a strange expression on his face. Was that uncertainty? On someone who had been so brash and rough before…

“…You’re not laughing.”

Not that he’d really expected Rouga to. He didn’t know what he had expected, just not…this. Not for those deep blue eyes to bear the same look that Tasuku saw in the mirror every morning.

It was easy to understand what had prompted such a sudden, sullen demeanor from Rouga.

“…Ha…  Haha. I can’t believe it.”

He looked back down at his mug, smiling bitterly. “We’re practically sworn enemies, yet here we are, sitting in a cafe and wallowing together… It’s pretty ironic, huh?”

…Though…having someone to relate to was comforting in a weird way. Even if it was Rouga.

[armourknight-blog]

‘He wasn’t laughing’... How could he laugh? Even if their circumstances hadn’t been so stupidly similar, Tasuku’s story was still one he could never find amusing. There was nothing funny about grief or loneliness...nothing laughable about loss. Maybe he wasn’t the most sympathetic or tactful person around, but Rouga understood that much.

“... Tell me about it.” He finally said, the earlier trace of sardonicism  returning to his expression and tone. “Hah... I’m not too sure how I should feel about being in a similar boat to yours.”

They’d lived completely different lives. Their experiences, values, beliefs...just about all of them clashed horrifically; and even when they did resemble one another, they were never expressed in precisely the same way. In spite of all that, though, they’d managed to find common ground...

Now that was something worth laughing about.

“... Don’t let it break you.” The words came a bit more quietly this time. “No matter the pain you feel, or how badly you don’t want it to, life goes on...and so will you.”

Rouga didn’t know if he fully believed the words himself, or if he ever had, but...he wanted to.

[armourknight-blog]

when all that’s left is...

[ryuuenjisenpai-blog]

He paused. The unspoken question was obvious in Rouga’s words, and Tasuku had to think about whether he was willing to open up to someone who was practically a sworn enemy.

But…maybe he needed someone to talk to about it? Someone whom he didn’t know all too well, who probably wouldn’t care too much about it, someone who wouldn’t pity him or treat him as a child and coddle him as consequence, as he feared would happen if he opened up to his colleagues… He had been able to keep up the facade at the TCDF and on duty, but he was beginning to reach his limits.

“…The most important person in the world to me…disappeared. He’s been missing for months now. I’ve tried looking everywhere for him, but…nothing. No leads, every trail stone cold…”

“It’s been so long that I wonder if I’ll ever find him again. If I hadn’t been so weak…”

The recollection was still so fresh, even though it was months old; Aichi hadn’t been there when he had been discharged from the hospital. That had been fine; Aichi had his own life, his own priorities. He must have been busy, Tasuku had thought.

But he never did end up showing… And the pain of that would hurt more than the stab wound that landed him in the hospital in the first place.

“He was my only family. And I couldn’t do anything for him…”

Again. He had been helpless, again. And he still couldn’t do anything…

[armourknight-blog]

He hadn’t actually expected Tasuku to provide him with any kind of specific answer. He’d expected to be brushed off, or snapped at that it wasn’t any of his business, but...he wasn’t. He wasn’t, but as the words left the younger boy’s mouth, he almost wished he had been.

The sudden disappearance of a person dearer than all the world...futile attempts to find or contact them...the realization by the one searching that they’d never been able to do anything for them. Rouga knew this story much too well--not because he’d heard it elsewhere, or from Tasuku beforehand, but because he’d lived through it himself. That look in the young officer’s eyes...that regret and sadness...it had been exactly the same for Rouga.

Years ago, Kyouya’s abrupt departure had shaken his entire world, and--no. No, that wasn’t it. Kyouya had been his world--the person he’d shaped a good deal of his very identity around. His world hadn’t merely shook...it had splintered and shattered, too quickly for him to even try to stop it.

He’d felt helpless. Alone. Abandoned. His only family, his only friend, had been gone in an instant...

Yes, Rouga understood precisely what Tasuku was likely feeling at this point in time. He knew, yet he found himself unable to remark on it, or even speak in general.

“............”

Well, what could he say, anyway? He didn’t know the words to comfort others. He didn’t know what Tasuku could possibly use to cope. Hell, Rouga didn’t know how to fully move on himself, even after the second time Kyouya had...--

[armourknight-blog]

when all that’s left is...

[ryuuenjisenpai-blog]

“Well, I could arrest you right now if you’re that eager to spend the time you owe behind bars.”

Except he wasn’t on duty, and he had no handcuffs on him, and the people here all seemed to be enjoying their time with their family and friends and just because he couldn’t do the same didn’t gave him the right to ruin that. The irony almost made him want to laugh. To think that, just a few months ago, justice was more important to him than anything… How awfully misguided.

How…childish.

“What’s weird? Do you really want me to arrest you? I think that’s the weird part.”

He stared into his drink. The reflection stared aimlessly back, until it was distorted by ripples as he shifted the mug in his hands.

“…There are more important things in life than pursuing a criminal convicted in a different city.”

The words, the one of voice, they sounded strange, even to him. It was weird hearing himself say something like that, from his own mouth; it was weird not holding true to everything he had believed in up till now. For Tasuku, it felt like he had been stripped of everything again; he had been able to pick himself back up the first time, because he had had choices, and options. Now…what was there left to turn to?

“…It’s just something I’ve come to realize recently.”

[armourknight-blog]

“Pass. Cages don’t really appeal all that much to me.”

Briefly, there was a hint of bitterness in his smirk, though it quickly vanished as he lifted his mug of coffee to his lips once more. Rouga listened in silence as Tasuku spoke, eyelids lowering a fraction as he regarded the boy sitting less than a meter away.

Hmph...so something had happened. The teen couldn’t imagine what, but it had to have been something big if it had affected Tasuku to this degree; and again, he found himself curious as to what it was...because in some miniscule way, he felt he could relate. Neither of them were the same people they’d been all those months ago...

Ha. How strange, that he should feel anything that wasn’t contempt for Ryuuenji Tasuku. Not the same person, indeed...

“You sound like a jaded old man...though I can’t say I’m complaining.” Rouga leaned back in his seat, eyes settling absently upon a smudge on the far wall.

“--...but I do have to wonder what happened. A few months back, you were all too eager to mete out your ‘justice.’ Pretty different from what I’m seeing now.”

[armourknight-blog]

SOS

[hibishie]

Just like hospitals had their typical hospital smell, pet stores had their own typical pet store smell. If Hibiki would have to describe the pet store smell he would describe it as a punch in the face by Mother Nature. It wasn’t unpleasant per se, just very strong and humid. In case Hibiki had forgotten what the pet store smell was like (he hadn’t), he got to take a few deep breathes of it today seeing as he was doing some shopping for his per rabbit, Muffy. 

His gaze went from the shopping list in his hand to the wide variety of pet products on the shelves of this maze of a pet store. As always he could find anything he needed at the rodents section of the store. Hay, hay and more hay was what he was getting today. While he was looking for the brand he was familiar with a stranger asked him a question. 

“Hm? Oh, sorry, I’m afraid not.” Hibiki took a moment to study the boy before him. The kid had a peculiar fashion sense. Was it cool to have wild, long hair these days? Hibiki grinned at that thought. “But I might be able to help. What do you need?”

[armourknight-blog]

... What was with that grin? What was he staring at? As he stood and awaited the stranger’s answer, he found himself wondering just what there was to ogle at. Certainly, his appearance wasn’t exactly conventional...but even if that was what fascinated the man so, it was still rude to stare. He’d had that social rule practically drilled into his head since he was young (not that he especially paid ‘tactfulness’ any mind now that he was on his own, but...)--hadn’t he?

Tch...and as if that wasn’t enough, he wasn’t even a worker. Fantastic.

“... I need to pick up some dog supplies.” Rouga answered dismissively, and turned his head to glance at the rows of shelves on the other side of the warehouse-like building. “Know where they are?”

[judette-mathis]

We will become friends again.

[armourknight-blog]

when all that’s left is...

[ryuuenjisenpai-blog]

Something so mundane… It was funny to imagine. After all, his first impression was of Rouga causing millions of dollars worth of property damage to the city and nearly killing a few officers (one of which Tasuku had been particularly close to).

“…No, I don’t suppose it is.”

…But in the end, Tasuku had no fight in him today. And besides, starting something in this quaint little cafe, while Rouga supposedly had his guard down, didn’t feel right.

Nothing really did, these days. Everything felt so empty and grey.

“Well, go on. Don’t let me disturb you from your lunch.”

[armourknight-blog]

... What was with him? Ryuuenji’s apparent disinterest could be considered a blessing in many ways, but the change in demeanor from several months ago was, again, so jarring that Rouga found himself unable to appreciate his fortune in its entirety. The teen wasn’t concerned in the least--concern would imply that he cared, after all--but...

“There’s a shocker. If I remember correctly, you tried to arrest me just for walking down the street a while back,” he mused absently. “Since when do you care about whether or not you’re bothering me?”

He probably didn’t. Tasuku probably just wanted a way out of the conversation, though that gave rise to a slew of other questions: why the sudden apathy? Where had his passion gone? So far as he was aware, Tasuku was still a member of the Defense Force...

“... Weird.”

[armourknight-blog]

SOS

This place was, quite honestly, a maze.

Rouga thought of himself as having a decent sense of direction. He knew how to navigate maps and signs, could commit landmarks to memory, and very rarely got lost. In a store as big as this, though, with as few indicators or signs as it had...well. Suffice it to say that he wasn’t really getting anywhere.

That was why, loath though he was to do so, he found himself seeking out an employee to direct him.

“... Oi, you. Do you work here?”

[armourknight-blog]

out of reach

All he wanted was to grab a book--that was all. He’d grown tired of pasta and frequent take-out meals, and had wanted to find a recipe book to try and figure out his own meals--

--...but he was finding that a bit hard to do with someone standing between him and the ones he wanted to look at.

It wasn’t entirely the guy’s fault. He could hardly help the fact that he was short, or that his book of choice was located atop a shelf just out of his reach. If that was the case, though...shouldn’t he just ask a worker for assistance? 

...

... He certainly was set in his task--enough so that the other boy didn’t even seem to notice Rouga’s approach until--

“You’re in the way.”

The teen plucked the book from the higher shelf, and held it out for the stranger to take.

“... This the one?”

[etoileblitz]

“A real friend stands by those he cares about… even if they’ve made bad choices. He helps them get back on the right path.”

[armourknight-blog]

when all that’s left is...

[ryuuenjisenpai-blog]

—He hadn’t noticed the older teen until he’d taken his seat, nearly falling out of his chair when he realized that Rouga and him were barely a meter apart. So distracted was he that it had taken a few moments to even register the fact that they were in the same cafe.

“Aragami…”

…A dangerous criminal was within arm’s reach. But while the Tasuku of a few months ago would’ve leaped at the opportunity, the current Tasuku felt that any attempt he made would’ve been half-hearted. Given everything he had been through, arresting a criminal wanted in a different city seemed so…unimportant. Certainly, much less important than family…

He couldn’t say nothing, though. The better part of himself just wouldn’t allow him to.

“What are you doing here?”

[armourknight-blog]

Well. That had been disappointingly anticlimactic. He’d been expecting something with a little more oomph, given the circumstances of their last meeting...yet all he got was a sour ‘what are you doing here’?

Had something happened with Ryuuenji? Or had Rouga’s case simply become unimportant, or irrelevant? It wasn’t something he ought to complain about--quite the opposite, actually--but a small part of him found itself curious.

... It didn’t actually matter, and chances were that he wouldn’t find out, but--

“Drinking coffee. Eating lunch.” Rouga answered offhandedly, barely casting Tasuku a second glance as he pointedly took a bite of his sandwich. “Is that a crime, Officer?”