A blog about aroflux things

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[arofluxblog]

Any ideas on how to come out as aroflux to my s/o?

I've never done this and don't have any advice to offer, but I will post this to see if anyone else does.

Best of luck though

[telepretend]

I know this post is pretty old but I think I might be able to answer to this one! I’m aroflux and currently have a girlfriend. It was only after I’d started dating her that I found out I was aroflux. It was a very uncomfortable time in the relationship. Eventually, I was just upfront abt it and told her everything. She was very accepting of it and we’re still together. My advice is just be fully honest with them. If they accept you, that’s great! If they’d rather be with an alloromantic, that’s alright. Better to know now than to figure it out later through a lot of discomfort. Coming out is barely ever easy. Best of luck to you!

[arofluxblog]

so i'm dating someone right now and its the first time i've ever been in an actual relationship, but i've always questioned being aro and aroflux seems to fit pretty well. my problem is that in my relationship, the other person is hurt by my lack of romance or my apparent lack of interest in it. i haven't told them that i'm questioning being aroflux because i just found out about its existence but i'm just scared to bring it up and i don't want to hurt them by saying that sometimes i feel nothing because it fluctuates. like i can fluctuate from feeling nothing to feeling deeply about them, and i really do want to make the relationship work, i just don't want to hurt them.

That sounds like a rough situation. That kind of thing is very hard, where you care about the other person and don't want to hurt them. If you do bring it up, it may be helpful to emphasize that

[arofluxblog]

I kind of love being aroflux. I never really use the lable for it but I know I will never fall out of love with my partners because i constantly do that and i love them just as much platonically. Its nice having that reassurance.

That's wonderful!

[arofluxblog]

is there a term for being aroflux but unaware of when it fluctuates until put into a situation where it could make itself known or is that just aroflux?

I think it could be aroflux! You could also look into quoiromantic/wtfromantic, which is about being uncertain of the nature of your feelings, and use both in combination

I'll admit I'm a bit out of date on the all the terms, so idk if there's more specific ones that could fit you

Here are a few sites that list a bunch of different labels, if you want to look through for anything that rings true to you"

This glossary is a continuously updating record of all terms that have been and are being used in the aromantic community. These terms are a

[arofluxblog]

have a friend who just came out to me as aroflux! Is there anything I should generally be aware of or do to help support?

I'm so sorry I somehow missed this ask. A bit of time has passed, so idk if this is too late, and I'm not sure I actually have a lot of advice. Given that 'aroace' is in your username, I'm going to assume you know a decent amount about being aroace, and that it is complicated and no one's experiences are the same.

I think a struggle with arospec identities, especially if you do feel some amount of romantic attraction, is often feeling like you don't particularly understand or identify with aro or alloromantic people, or feeling like you're being bad at one or both of these things. I don't know your friend's situation, but I think my catch-all advice is to just not be judgemental and not assume what your friend wants out of life/relationships/etc. Which, if you're going out of your way to try and help and support your friend, I don't think it's super likely you would, but that's really the only advice I have.

I think the best thing to do is try and see what your friend feels about this. Did they tell you as like a "oh here's an interesting thing about myself that I already have figured out" or is it something they're struggling with?

[arofluxblog]

Can I still count as aroflux if I'm alloromanitc the majority of the time and really only have fully aromantic days occasionally?

If you want to!

I think it's better to think of labels less as something you can qualify for or not, and more as like. "Is this a useful description that would help myself or others understand my experiences?" If the answer to that is yes, then go for it! Words are just things people invent to help each other make sense of things

[arofluxblog]

Any ideas on how to come out as aroflux to my s/o?

I've never done this and don't have any advice to offer, but I will post this to see if anyone else does.

Best of luck though

[arofluxblog]

Hi! I’ve been questioning if I’m Aroflux and so far I think it fits! But the question I have is if I can be considered Aroflux when I’m dating someone. Like, I’ve got an amazing girlfriend (11 months) and I truly feel strong Romantic attraction toward her, this is the 2nd time I’ve had strong and consistent romantic attraction like this and I really think these feeling will last for a very long time. Usually crushes either fade after a few weeks, quickly/abruptly end or completely change into something else. Basically Can I still count even if I have the occasional consistent, strong romantic attraction?

If you think the label fits, go for it!

There are no strict definitions for aroflux or really any of the aromantic spectrum lables, and this one in particular is specifically meant to have wiggle room I feel.

[arofluxblog]

I know this is a generic question, but can aroflux folks date others? Like, them dating someone who isn’t on the aromatic spectrum?

Can they be in a romantic relationship, or eventually would they just grow uncomfortable with it?

I have a…friend…who asked me out and things were going well, then about 3 weeks later they said that dating me literally sickened them. Should I take that personal? Or is that a normal feeling an aroflux person feels?

Now I’m conflicted as it’s been about 3 months since then and they wanna get back together…but idk. I don’t mean to be rude, I’m trying to be sympathetic, but it’s hard to be when you don’t exactly understand what’s going on.

I ask this so I can further educate myself and see what I can do to understand them better.

It really depends on the person. There are completely aromantic people who never feel romantic attraction and perfectly happy to date. There are people who are not aromantic at all and don't like dating.

I know this isn't really the advice you came here for, but there really is no other way to know how this specific person feels about things unless you ask that person.

It's absolutely fair to be frustrated and confused when this person doesn't seem to be explaining themself all that well.

At least for me, I have a lot of confusing feelings about romance and relationships that do often change and are inconsistent. I don't know this person, but I think there is a chance that they might not understand what is going on either.

If they want to get back together with you though, I think it's worth talking more in-depth about where this person is at on the idea of a romantic relationship and where they think that might be in the future, as well as what they plan on doing if they do feel repulsed by being in a relationship in the future again. Then you can decide if that sounds like something you want to try out or not.

[arofluxblog]

Being aroflux is one day being aro thinking romance is gross, and the next day feeling romantic attraction and it feels grosser. (In my experience anyways)

Rip yeah that was definitely a mood for me when I had a crush

[arofluxblog]

so im currently dating someone, however im also questioning if im aroflux or not. ive been on the aroace spectrum for a very long time and these feelings are really new to me, but sometimes theyre there and sometimes theyre not,,, and its generally realy confusing for me to keep track. should i tell him what im feeling and if so how should i ???

To be honest, I don't really have an answer. I've never been in a romantic relationship, and this kind of thing really depends on the people involved I feel.

In general, I think being on the same page on things is good though, even if you don't necessarily tell him all the specifics. Does he know you're aroace spec?

It might also be worth thinking about how your feelings affect your relationship practically, like are you still open to doing things that are considered romantic even when you aren't feeling romantic feelings? Are there certain things you are or aren't comfortable with or other tangible ways how you interact with your partner could be affected? Sometimes it's easier to tell people the practical consequences of something than feelings which are often confusing and hard to define. Like "I don't always feel like holding hands and I'm still trying to figure out how much I do or don't want to do that" or something like that can be easier to know what to do with because that's more concrete

[arofluxblog]

if an aroflux person is aro at the moment and flexes, are they aroflex

XD

[arofluxblog]

can you still be aroflux if you find someone attractive or have a crush but not wanting a relationship at all?

Sure!

(You might also want to look into the terms lithromantic/akoiromantic, though you can be lithro/akoi and aroflux at the same time, or just one or the other, or neither, or whichever you feel fits you best)

[arofluxblog]

aroflux culture is just chillin one day after being romance-repulsed for a while and then suddenly just thinking “huh. i like romance now.”

Haha yep

[arofluxblog]

Hi! recently my gf broke up with me because she realised she's aroflux and dont feel comfortable putting me in a situation where she dont know when she's gonna be feeling the romantic attraction or not, I told her i dont mind and i'm willing to learn how to love her properly but she said it shouldnt be an effort. she said she just want to be friends but i really love her and idk what to do to make her comfortable in the relationship. Any advice?

Oof, honestly I don't know what advice I can give you, also sorry for answering this late. That's a rough situation, but if you found this blog, then you're doing a lot of research into aroflux and that's definitely a good start.

There is the possibility that she wants to break up with you for reasons besides being awkward about you being in this situation, but really that's something you have to talk to her about. If she doesn't want to date you, obviously don't push, but it sounds like there's enough confusion in the situation that it's worth trying to have another conversation about it

[arofluxblog]

Aroflux flag on r/place 2022!

[arofluxblog]

so like. i identify with cupioromantic, demiromantic, and recipromantic and I fluctuate between all of these. Would that be classified as aroflux???

Sure! If you want to