Jim turning into a troll is a metaphor for physical disability
I'm not a fan of the way Trollhunters portrays disability, but that's a whole other post. Coming back to this show years later, after becoming disabled, Jim's transformation into a troll struck a chord with me.
Jim isn't given a choice. Merlin might say he was giving Jim a choice, but he really wasn't. Jim's choices were:
Watch everyone he loves die and the world he loves burn, and probably die himself.
And that lack of choice when it comes to your body becoming something you never wanted to choose in the first place sounds an awful lot like becoming disabled, doesn't it? I mean, disabilities don't exactly wait until you're eighteen or knock on the door and ask for your permission. They can appear without warning, without knowing if you'll ever recover--without your choosing.
And it can be terrifying.
It can scare everyone around you.
There are so many different emotions you go through when you become disabled, and Jim goes through them all. He experiences grief, and anger, and self-disgust, and so much more.
Grief: He flees during training, winding up meeting river trolls. When they point out that Jim isn't human anymore, he denies this, saying he's still human and is not a troll. When he tries to go into the sunlight, it burns him, and he grows morose and afraid.
Anger: During the first dinner with his mom, his own cooking disgusts him because of his new, troll-ish taste buds. He ends up craving and eating the kitchenware, and grows angry when his mom discovers his newfound appetite. He just wanted a normal dinner.
Self-disgust: The first time he gets a good look at himself, he says he's ugly. Anytime he sees his reflection, he spirals into depression. His body has gone and is going through major changes, and it's difficult to accept his new reality. He can't look at himself the same way, and fears that no one else still sees Jim.
Jim is terrified, and believes he's a burden to and terrifies everyone around him.
He spends his entire time as the Trollhunter being told by everyone around him that he has to do this alone. Be strong alone. Defeat Gunmar alone.
Be independent. Be strong. Be compliant. These are all things disabled people are told. We get told these things so much that eventually, we start to believe them.
But none of us are alone, and neither is Jim. He has a plethora of people who care about him, who love him the way he is. Who love him not because of what he looks like, but because of who he is.
I don't have an end to this meta. And really, there is no end to disability, either. But there is also no end to which your loved ones would not go for you, and no end to the compassion you can show yourself when your body is going through major changes.