Anon asked: ☤ - a memory of death/loss
Memory meme | Accepting
Goro loved Saturdays. His favorite show, Phoenix Featherman R came on and he watched it in the living room as soon as he had breakfast. Thanks to that, he wanted to become a superhero and protect his mom from bad guys. She was his only family. She didn’t like talking about his real dad. Last time, she got mad and really scary. He cried. She only hugged him and apologized in return. She was so nice.
He was only seven years ago. Today was a Saturday like any other, however, his mom seemed… restless, upset and unhappy. When asked about it, she’ll say ‘I’m fine, just tired’ and retreat to her room. She was lying and he knew that, but what could he do? He increased the volume of the TV while watching his show a little too much by mistake, taken in by the action.
“Goro, sweetie, can you turn it down a little? Mommy has a headache.” She called out from the bedroom, voice indicating how exhausting she was. Tired of everything, her life, her unwanted pregnancy, her ‘job’. She felt so helpless. Long, brown hair reached her back. She had the same red eyes as her son.
“Sorry, mom!” Goro replied, doing as he was told. He didn’t want to get yelled at. He continued watching the show with child-like interest and glee. He wanted to be just like them as he had mentioned to his mom numerous times.
A smile graced her lips. Ah, her son. The only one who made her happy. And yet… she couldn’t take it anymore. The sexual abuse, the pain, the suffering of living such a pathetic, miserable life. She had been doing this for years because she couldn’t find a stable enough job. Then he came into her life. Shido. He was one of her clients, but he took it way, way too far. He didn’t wear protection, amongst other things she didn’t want, hence Goro’s birth. He bailed out, not caring anymore about her. He only wanted to feel better that night. He ruined her. She loathed him.
It wasn’t fair to her son, she knew that. But she was tired and sick of being alive. Every day, it was same stuff, nothing changing. What’s the point? Opening a drawer near her bed, she took the box of sleeping pills that she took every night. If she overdosed, she’d die. That’s… what she wanted. She loved her son, but her life was worthless now.
Besides... he needed new parents. Others who would hopefully put more love and effort into taking care of him than she ever did. She was a horrible mother and wasn’t one to be fit anyway. Thus, she gulped one, two, three…
“Yeah! Go Phoenix Ranger Black!”
She could hear her child’s cheers from the living room. It broke her heart into a million pieces to do this. Four, five, six, seven… no water, just that.
Eight, nine, ten…
A couple of minutes passed and death finally took her.
Having not heard her voice in a long time, the boy stood up and walked over to the room cheerfully, wondering if she was asleep. The door creaked open and he stood there, confused. “Mom? ...Mama?” He kept asking as he got closer, scared. Her eyes were closed and she was holding something in her hand, but… she wasn’t moving.
“M-Mom?! Please say something! Please…!” He was shaking her, doing anything to make her react. This had to be a nightmare… he was dreaming! “Moooooooom!!! Mom!” He screamed and wailed. The residents living next to their apartment had enough of the noise and knocked on their door. Goro was still screaming, shaking, tears streaming down his face.
“Is everything alright?! Open the door, please!” A man called out, worried for the child.
“Mom! Sh-she’s…” He sobbed loudly, he couldn’t move. His legs were like jelly. The man heard that loud and clear and called the police. As soon as they arrived, they immediately deduced what had happened and took him away.
No one told him directly. She was dead. His mother was never coming back. Why did she have to go? Why did she do it to herself? Was he a bad child? Is it his fault? He was taken away to an institution and that scene still haunted him. It will always haunt him.











