Hold the night randsom as we kidnap the memories

29.University of Alberta Graduate.Microbiology. Nutrition.Piano.Clothes.Gay.Men.

[artfrost]

you gotta give us thirsty followers SOMETHING ;)

Haha can always dm me for the thirst quench

[artfrost]

Not at all disappointing 🤤 bet there’s plenty of precum in your pants then. Yummmm

Haha something like that

[artfrost]

what kind of underwear do you wear? pics for proof?? ;) <3

Sorry to disappoint, I freeball. 😂 The proof would be more for DMs.

[mcsqu1bb]

My autistic brother created a new family Christmas tradition

Okay, so last year, my mom bought this Christmas moose that she lovingly named Barry

This is him

Cute, right?

Well, for whatever reason only known to my brother, he decided that he wanted to put Barry in different rooms of our house and it usually scares the shit out of whomever happens upon Barry; usually the person who finds him is the person that my brother wanted to scare.

So far, Barry has been found

On our dining room table

On my dad's side of my parents' bed

In my parents' closet

Outside their bedroom door (at 5 in the morning and scared my mother shitless)

Near the kitchen door

Near my fucking bed

At the bottom of my sister's stairwell

In our bathroom

And down the hallway

This has gone on for 9 days and it doesn't seem to show signs of stopping. Most of the time we know who gets Barry because it's always followed with a very loud "FUCKING BARRY!!!!!"

My brother is the funniest fucking person I know.

[mcsqu1bb]

Update:

He found his way into my sister's room.

And my brother is cackling maniacally downstairs.

[mcsqu1bb]

Holy fuck this doll is creepy

[mcsqu1bb]

Another update:

The soft glow of the Christmas tree seems to quell his bloodlust

[thesaltofcarthage]

vote to replace the evil surveillance Elf on the Shelf with Barry the Chrismoose

[annethecatdetective]

Broke: Elf on the Shelf Woke: Moose on the Loose

[toastbutteregg]

[artfrost]

Definitely haven’t posted a photo in a while

[artfrost]

long time since we got a selfie from you, stud <3

Haha well thank you! Really feeling down about myself so very much appreciated!

[titkoks]

i really didn’t think it could get worse, and then-

[hell-aint-a-bad-place]

??????????????????????????????????????????????

[killfridge]

LMFAOOOOO

[lifeofcynch]

OH MY GOD.

[stephanemiroux]

Me at the start: weird but this isn't that bad.

The second bit:

The ending:

[artfrost]

Send nudes #chillsunday

[thenatsdorf]

Sharp-tailed Grouse

[ottermatopoeia]

Ok footwork!

[funny-tik-toks]

[artfrost]

fuck youre looking good. how about an ass pic??

You first? Lol

[chris-evans]

Saturday Night Live’s Jim Carrey as Joe Biden imitates Ace Ventura (requested by anonymous)

[fairweathermyth]

Patrick “BUFFERING” Brewer

[olreid]

[mariss-ugh]

It’s going to take me a week to stop laughing.

[windownecromancy]

I love him so much 😄

[whitepeopletwitter]

[mister-doctor-professor-susan]

[songsofwaterandnight]

Same energy

[loops911]

This has me laughing so hard! I needed this today.

[memelermemeler]

[adverbed-deactivated20210328]

s e n d n u d e s