Besides the fact that Mary is an abysmal wife (I could go on for years about that point), John’s not the best husband, and their relationship was doomed from the start. Obviously we didn’t get to see every single aspect of their dating life, but in regards to the show, their entire relationship pretty much revolved around Sherlock.
John was deep in grief over Sherlock when they met, and it was heavily implied that working through that grief is what triggered them to start dating. John even semi-referenced his grief when he was proposing (usually people focus on the happy excitement not dead best friends).
Much of their engagement was spent with Sherlock, mostly John and Sherlock on cases because John wanted to escape the wedding planning. Not to mention Sherlock planned their wedding.
One month post wedding, when they should still be in full blown honeymoon phase, and getting ready for stupid accident baby (I still really hate that stupid baby, worst plot decision ever!), John is beyond grump and literally dreaming about running off on an adventure with Sherlock.
Immediately Mary’s lies start to be revealed, and John presumably moves in with Sherlock for MONTHS! He sure as hell doesn’t talk to his wife for months. And again, they should be prepping for the stupid baby.
John “forgives” Mary, moves back in with her, yet still seems to spend all of his free time with Sherlock, to the point that he ignores his phone and almost misses the birth of his stupid child. Even after the stupid baby comes, he’s at Baker Street. Remember when he made balloon John to keep Sherlock company when he was downstairs helping Mrs. Hudson with Sudoku? He’s not helping Sherlock with a case, you think he’d be at home with his beloved wife and spawn, but no, he’s doing number puzzles with his former landlady.
More of Mary’s lies are revealed and she ditches her husband and child (who those after her should be fully aware of), and even in her goodbye letter, she references Sherlock. Let’s not forget that John anticipated that she’d ditch them before Sherlock even confronted her (Sherlock and John always trusting each other), and he and Sherlock worked out a plan together.
Then we have her “tragic” death complete with a guilt trip, and she leaves the ridiculous DVDs telling Sherlock to nearly kill himself, and that since she’s gone they can become “what they’ve always been and were meant to be” (I’m paraphrasing)
And I didn’t even talk about how John conducted an emotional affair with Sherlock’s sister (perhaps because she subconsciously reminded him of someone?) when anyone else would have been in full on happy family, “we have a beautiful new child” mode.
TL;DR: If we were meant to root for John and Mary, why the fuck did they make their relationship such shit, and have John running to Sherlock at every possible opportunity?
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