TWISTED FAIRY

Banana Juice and Maracuya flavoured blunt wraps

[asapfairy]

The Trees, who speak in Silence, welcome us to their home with an open heart. These Ancient Souls know the Universal Life Force is the same Light within us all. Plant Spirits hold within them a Sacred Wisdom that bridges the Cosmos and Earth together as One.

We are Cosmic Souls, our bodies born from an explosion of stardust, intrinsically connected to planet earth by the human experience. A paradox of Starseeds and Earthlings.

Within our connection to Nature, we are able to return home to the simple truth of who we really are. Nature heals. Nature can be one of our greatest teachers, if we simply tune in to the wisdom of the present moment. 🌻🌴🌈

[asapfairy]

I’m up all night sometimes, I get an hour or 2 sleep before I’m up on my feet in a heartbeat, when the clock hits 4am if your tryna battle addiction like me you’ll do anything to fill the early hours of the morning before the day starts and the world wakes up, so despite my need for a line I reach for a book and read a few pages but my adhd hates this cuz it’s not a quick hit, so now I’m scrambling to write a poem or get these artistic expressions flowing, but the urge for dissociation is ever growing and no time at all has passed before I’ve caved n cut up powder with a razor I don’t use to shave, but I can’t do this, not now, the devil staring me in the eyes telling me all these lies so I leave these lines racked upon the desk and run to the kitchen, make a cup of chamomile tea so I can stop itching and twitching, I twirl the string around my mugs handle but my addictions got it’s hands around my throat and I feel strangled as he dangles exactly what I don’t want or need in front of me but what he knows I can’t help my myself to, and now the only thing this cup of tea soothes is a sore throat that’s been torn up with what I sniff and it’s not just the substance that I feel drip down my throat but guilt shame and disgust.

[asapfairy]

Zomba Power line A 🇲🇼

no power for line A today but that's okay I wake up and enjoy my morning runs, chase the rising sun down a dusty mountain road until it loops around and leads back home, stretch the sleep out my body with flowing salutations, hear the birds sing their morning affirmations and I whlistle mine along with them, I want to give everything to everyone but lessons learnt in previous years taught me to be more reserved so I don't get hurt, hear voices telling me to dim my light be less giving and childlike if you want to get by, looking back I never learnt the lessons and how come? I just experienced them and ran with my own outcome, what I thought was right at the time would be the opposite I'd come to find, spend the last few months with people who give more than they have to offer, a place to sleep or something to eat and my thinking may be naive but I'm learning to share love again effortlessly. There's no power for line A today but that's okay because even in the darkness of my room love shines brighter than the sun stars and moon.

[asapfairy]

23/05/23

And on what should be the best day of the year no matter how loud the music and cheers demons still circulate and cultivate fears everything falls apart before the start of a new chapter and I repeat picking up each and every piece, I go along litter picking the parts of my soul & put them back together like a jigsaw that needs to be solved every piece is colourful full of hopes and dreams, but nobody sees behind the scenes, where the dull greys seep out from the seams, i haven't celebrated the same since i was 15, maybe I need to stop picking up the pieces after myself and just nurture the neglected remains. this never ending puzzle of myself will always be incomplete because the piece that's missing is me, I spend all year building a masterpiece for people to greet but I'm the one behind that you never did meet. im the master of the puzzle not the puzzle you see. it's been too long since a birthday wish left my lips but this year the broken pieces will remain unsolved, I wish to paint my spirit and leave behind this jigsaw mask in the past. This year I don't want to experience this world I want it to experience me.

[asapfairy]

Roll up green trying to find some peace of mind, searching for a small piece of clarity but it's hard when there's a constant disparity between heart and mind, unaligned I sit above the skyline in stillness and solitude trying to catch the stars in the milky way but they never stay, at least not long enough for me to hold so they remain a watercolour stained memory in my soul

[asapfairy]

And you'll travel many places and meet many faces but there names you may not remember but they leave a lasting impact on what the beauty of the world mean to you. you lose a traditional sense of western beauty and you're fascinated by incredible colours of auras and live in the loving embrace of another culture, the taste of someone's energy upon your lips, never kissed but their soul lingers in your soul and you want to taste that again but how could you ever find them again. even the people of yesterday and from years before but that feeling of wanting you have that comes from the illusion of what you already have. the taste of your soul dripping flurocenstly off their tongue the same way it remains on yours you share the same essence that drives the soul to want more. kiss your own soul so delicately that you turn it on with creativity and compassion leading you to curiousity about life.

[asapfairy]

I owe you a million apologies 

Yet I have no idea where to start

My heart aches with the toxic words n games 

I will always hold space for you in my heart 

Sometimes I want to ask for one more chance 

So i can do my part

And if you still don’t want me 

I’ll let you be free because

Then there would be nothing I could do

But I didn’t get it right the first time around and time

Oh time it really wasn’t ours back then

It robbed us of memories to be made 

And replaced it with texts, hopes and dreams

Please don’t tell me it’s taken away

your hopes and dreams

And left me with only

Your Texts.

Tell me instead that your heart still holds hope

and I'm not the only one who still dreams

[asapfairy]

I think the stars are somehow here to guide us. I know it but do I know why ? Do I know how ? I think it’s fairly simple to say that we believe there is something more to the stars, than meets the eye. We have our theories according to our unique perspectives and there are stories, myths and legends from all different cultures both modern and ancient. maybe what the stars are really there for is to be a unique mirror to each and every one of us whatever we see in the stars is a mirror to our spirits the night sky changes around the year and you grow and change with the zodiacs seasons. do you change according to the energies of the visible celestial bodies or does it change depending on our view of the world maybe you can’t see deep enough into the stars to see past your scars. If the stars reflect our inner being then surely we must follow them back to our higher selves ? Why would this just be an incident that is a perfect reflection of your inner self. Do you really think such a grand and beautiful design would have such a big coincidence?  But then you see the stars reflected in the lake and all of a sudden the trees teach you how to be grounded in this reality whilst staying in alignment with your source patterning and you might just feel as if the universe is how it is simply because you are here to perceive it. Align yourself with the night sky, maybe learn to read some stars, get to know the sky, read the stories of billions of stars and you will read stories of yourself in many different life times. Understand that life goes deep. Life runs through you. It is the reason you are here. Life will simply flow through you and eventually life will flow on beyond the body. you have this life as a gift from the universe and all it asks is that you add to life to make it a better, more beautiful place. but nobody wants to fucking do it and life becomes a blur of light pollution.

[asapfairy]

She said maybe we were soulmates in another life

I told her we only have one throughout the eternities.

In some lives soulmates are never found or recognized

She touched my soul and i met mine in her eyes

I failed to touch her in the same way

Now i wait to sail through the veil

And try again in the heavens

[asapfairy]

I gotta take a hit to know I still care sometimes to know I still feel, it shouldn’t be this way but I’m neither here nor there and I’m sure you can relate. I care n feel without it I’m sure of that, just to feel so much for people and things who don’t reciprocate the love hurts a heart that’s been loving from the start. It’s like i hit the ground running so I turn it off before it breaks and shatters but it’s not long before tears splatter and someone asks what's the matter, I don’t really know what to say so i save the tears in a bottle and crack them open with a joint and the moon because i can’t save them for people who don’t care anymore, too many times i’ve been shown the door and kicked out into the cold, and to the people that opened their door to invite me in the warmth when I was out wandering the lonely, dim lit streets over the years I will share my joint and cheers you with my bottle of tears. for that bottle because of you is filled not just with sadness but also with joy. Me, you and the moon can knock back bottles of bottled up tears and laugh as the moon leaves us in the care of the rising sun. Please stay with me. We can roll another when this ones done.

[asapfairy]

She balances it all above her head

Both darkness and light

A child strapped to her back 

She carries both day and night

With the weight of the world on her shoulders

Still she continues forwards not backwards

So poetically she dances through life's creation

To the beat of her own drum

Creating her reality as she runs

A true testament to the divine feminine

That no amount of weight, pain and struggle 

can hold a woman down

With a kind heart, soft spoken words and a gentle touch

These traits of a true warrior

Should inspire and be admired

For even when she tires

You cannot put out her fires

[asapfairy]

I watch a tangerine stream trickle through an avalanche of clouds,

picking up speed as she runs

eroding away the skies snow, 

the river banks glow

towards the mouth she flows, 

set free 

into the glorious tides of the scarlet sea,

infinitely vast 

changing fast 

from the crimson shores to the violet shallows, 

stretching beyond into deep ocean blues, 

Stars reflect

above the rainbows warmest hues

A Malawian Mosaic Perceived

through kaleidoscopic eyes

[asapfairy]

I trip on acid like i got no ego to lose, 7 tabs straight down the hatch and there's no catch believe me. Beats the times I smoked white through a pipe and chased the darkest dragons. I throw my essence into the cosmic winds and let it carry my spirit with it. It’s not comfort I find in losing my mind, my minds been lost for some time stuck in comfort drifting through life, I lose my mind for a few hours to come back with a piece of it that wasn’t there before. It’s different to a dopamine hit to numb the pain, estranged from reality but playing into the government's game. Sedated in smoke & sadness I never wanted to get to where I am, I never imagined I’d be where I am now, i paint pictures in the sky playing dot to dots with stars reminiscing about 15 stealing fast cars a few months on house arrest and behind bars thought that would have slowed me down but i indulge still in 8 balls & quarter liters Catch me rigside fat speakers, swore I’d never be a tweaker but I can’t count the times valium and Percocet were traceable in my veins on both hands. I’ve been steering clear of that shit recently the way I steer stolen cars round back roads avoiding feds in hope I’ll make it home. Hope is all I can do because addiction chases me like red n blue sirens, don’t hit the brakes gotta make my escape around a few turns tires burn, but i burn out quicker. One more turn and addiction stops me. waiting like it knew I’d be there. I just want to make it home.

[asapfairy]

11:59

Last night I dreamt we danced under the moonlight, so real I had no doubt that time caught us up to set thing’s right, everything stolen was returned through our intertwined fingers and an unbroken gaze. those few moments lasted life times, but a few moments is all they were, you spun around and another hooked your attention before your eyes came back to meet mine, and I spun out of control. Oh Cinderella, where’d you go? You left before I even woke so I didn't expect you to be there when the clock struck 12 but I’m caught between the clocks hands trapped in the time when I was holding yours.

[carmen-logs]

For valentine's day

I'm not going to expect a sweet phone call,

a text or a sweet declaration.

I won't go on a date,

because those will never work.

-.-

I won't declare myself to someone,

because it's pointless.

-.-

I spent long hours waiting for notifications to pop by my screen,

However they never do.

I look through the stories of other people and

I think "well that is nice" but I can't have it.

-.-

I'm too damaged for that.

I've had too much time with myself,

To know the feeling that is to be touched by anyone else.

-.-

For valentine's . . .

I'll turn off my phone and spend the day

by myself.

It's an act of self love.

How romantic, innit?

[asapfairy]

I say

It's whatever dude

the sun will still rise,

I've been broken

a million times

but I still smile

Despite smoke & sadness

what's life without a little madness?

A little nonsense & crazy,

Is that the problem?

I've gone beyond a little mad

to something more, maybe...

I feel all the more comfortable in my insanity

[asapfairy]

Write some more when you get the time or inspiration please.

I am sitting right now with a pen in my hand and an open book ! Just been struggling with a bit of a creative block recently but things are in the works forsure !! <3