a silent frenzy

libra sun - taurus moon - taurus rising - leo venus - leo mars (bc ya, it matters) basically a place where i can avoid all of the important shit i'm supposed to be doing and post about my latest obsessions and excessively ramble in the tags as opposed to just adding to the post like a normal person but like my prattling isn't rlly worthy enough to ruin a perfectly good post, ya know. will also probably bitch a lot bc it's what i do best

[asilentfrenzy]

let's add some concluding drunk thoughts to this, shall we? seeing as i have more to say than was necessary for the response

(and because, you know, i'm gonna make novel long, extra ass rants about lucien til the day i die)

the inner circle literally bullied and used lucien

there is no getting around that, there is no sugar coating that, and there are no excuses

now, from the examples in that previous post, let's look at the type of treatment lucien returns to them in exchange for their belittling, mocking, lack of respect or understanding, and distrust (all while still being perfectly happy to accept lucien's help)

"'This isn't what I expected,' he said, taking in the sprawl of Velaris.

'The city is still rebuilding after the Hybern attack.'

His eyes dropped to the carved balcony rail. 'Even though we had no part in that... I'm sorry. But - that's not what I meant.'"

*

"Silence fell, and Rhys and Cassian again walked away, understanding the emotion swimming in Lucien's eye - the meaning of the long breath he blew out.

When we were alone, Lucien rubbed his eyes. 'I've seen Rhysand do such... horrible things, seen him play the dark prince over and over. And yet you tell me it was all a lie. A mask. All to protect this place, these people. And I would have laughed at your face for believing it, and yet... this city exists. Untouched - or until recently, I suppose. Even the Dawn's court's cities are nothing so lovely as this.'

'Lucien -'

'And you love him. And he - he truly does love you.' Lucien dragged a hand through his red hair. 'And these people I have spent my centuries hating, even fearing... they are your family.'"

i just LOVE how lucien sincerely apologizes for her court being damaged despite the fact spring had no part in it directly after feyre intentionally destroyed his lmfao

also can i just say how tired i am of everything about the night court and the inner circle being the literal best in every way. it's obnoxious. "even the dawn court's cities are nothing so lovely as this" 🙄🙄🙄🙄

"We were almost to the door, Cassian already in the hall, when Lucien said to me, 'Thank you.'

I didn't dare ask him for what."

-

"Lucien considered. 'Can I offer my unsolicited advice?'

Rhys smirked. 'I think that's the first time anyone at this table has ever asked me such a thing.'"

-

"Rhys swirled his wine once, set it down, and said to Lucien, 'You and Azriel should talk. Tomorrow.'

Lucien glanced toward the shadowsinger - who only nodded at him. 'I'm at your disposal.'"

throughout the entire series. lucien does all he can for feyre and others. he's the loyal friend. and he's used and mistreated by them. and he still helps those who are not his friends and offers respect and understanding even after they mock and threaten him and never truly accept him

lucien was feyre's first friend in prythian

he was a dick to her at first, yeah, because she killed his other close friend. yes, that was what tamlin's men were being sent out for, but that does not change the fact that she murdered his friend in cold blood with true hate in her heart. i can see why he was a dick to her at first

but then he wasn't. and then after that throughout the series he continued to speak up for her. and all that he did for her under the mountain?? but then he gets no sympathy for his own ptsd

actually, feyre later takes advantage of his ptsd in acowar, as i always like to point out

speaking of the incident of her taking advantage of his ptsd, let's see how he treats her directly after that -

"I'd been wearing my cloak, but... he'd indeed given me his. He shivered against the cold as we dragged and clawed our way up the mountain slope, and did not dare stop."

as much as people want to say lucien only went with her because of elain - that is clearly not the case. lucien would not have done things like give her his cloak in the freezing cold even after the whole journey of her completely not trusting him at all (funny. considering she was the one who had just been lying to him the whole time she was at the spring court) to the point of not sleeping in case he tried to attack her

and then there is this next bullshit where he literally told her not to do something in his home court (as if he doesn't know better in his own court) and she didn't listen and ended up fucking them both. i sure as shit wouldn't be giving up my cloak (and after this journey is where all those examples of them not trusting him are from. he made this journey with her and helped her, and yet 🤔🤔)

"'My father's court lies due northward. We'll have to go to the east or west to avoid it.'

'No. East takes us too close to the Summer Court border. And I won't lose time by going too far west. We go straight North.'

'My father's sentries will easily spot us.'

'Then we'll have to remain unseen,' I said, rising."

(god she's so obnoxiously arrogant it's unbearable lol)

what is also interesting about her making him prove his trust for so long and so cruelly was that he knew feyre was lying the whole time. from the second she got back to spring. he knew. yet he still acted like a friend. still helped her. still was loyal

"'We are not your enemies, Feyre,' Lucien pleaded. 'Things got bad. Ianthe got out of hand, but it doesn't mean you give up -'

'You gave up,' I breathed.

I felt even Rhys go still.

'You gave up on me,' I said a bit more loudly. 'You were my friend. And you picked him - picked obeying him, even when you saw what his orders and his rules did to me. Even when you saw me wasting away day by day.'

'You have no idea how volatile those first few months were,' Lucien snapped. 'We needed to present a unified, obedient front, and I was supposed to be the example to which all others in the court were held.'"

here is the issue with feyre and her expectations of lucien when it comes to this. lucien has a duty to his court. there are maaaany others he has to try and look after and many duties he has to keep the spring court together during this time - ESPECIALLY since tamlin is a fucking mess. there is so much to clean up and so much to prepare for. feyre is not the only person that exists in the spring court and lucien cannot go to war with his high lord for feyre

"But Lucien... 'You took Ianthe in that cave on Calanmai?'

He wouldn't meet my gaze. 'She insisted. Tamlin was... Things were bad, Feyre. I went in his stead, and I did my duty to the court. I went of my own free will. And we completed the Rite.'"

*

"He might have completed the Great Rite with Ianthe of his own free will, but he certainly hadn't enjoyed it. Some line had been blurred - badly."

lucien has proven to be uncomfortable with things related to sex and women due to his past with jesminda, and ianthe sexually harasses him and later tries to rape him. yet he cares so much for his court and the people that he sacrificed himself like that. so, clearly, he's pretty devoted to making sure spring survives

and, yes, he did speak up to tamlin for her and tried to help her with him. he did not just sit by and do nothing. i am so tired of hearing this. apparently you all didn't read the books

which leads into my next point. feyre's bullshit, dramatic guilt tripping speech about "you were my friend. and you picked him -" (as if you've ever been much of a friend to him, feyre lol especially later in the books) "- you picked obeying him."

okay, nah. this is the problem lol. feyre literally blames lucien because she expected him to go against his high lord (i'm sorry, but in this world build - the word of the high lord is law, and if you go against that you're fucked), and at that point tamlin was not putting up with lucien and not treating him as a friend. lucien was visibly scared of him

"Lucien cleared his throat. 'She meant no harm, Tam.'

'I know she meant no harm,' he snapped.

Lucien held his gaze. 'Worse things can happen. Just relax.'

Tamlin's eyes were feral as he snarled at Lucien, 'Did I ask for your opinion?'

Those words, the look he gave Lucien and the way lucien lowered his head'"

-

"'There’s only so much I can do,” he said hoarsely. “But I’ll ask him tonight. About the training. The powers will manifest whether we train you or not, no matter who is around. I’ll ask him tonight,” he repeated.'"

-

"'We are not assassins,' Lucien had cut in. Rhys is what he is, but who would take his place -

My blood went cold, and I could have sworn ice frosted my fingertips.

Lucien had gone on, his tone pleading, 'Tamlin. Just let her train, let her master this - if the other High Lords do come for her, let her stand a chance.'

Silence fell as they let Tamlin consider.

My feet began moving as soon as I heard the first words out of his mouth, barely more than a growl. 'No.'

With each step of the stairs, I heard the rest.

'We give them no reason to suspect she might have any abilities, which training will surely do. Don't give me that look, Lucien.'

Silence again.

Then a vicious snarl, and a shudder of magic rocked the house.

Tamlin's voice had been low, deadly. "Do not push me on this."

I didn't want to know what was happening in that room, what he'd done to Lucien, what Lucien had even looked like to cause that pulse of power."

-

“'Just—be patient, Feyre,” Lucien tried, wincing as he followed after Tamlin. “Please. I’ll see what I can do. I’ll try again.'”

even before tamlin became his high lord before his friend - in book one he still, at the end of it all, saw him as his high lord

"'Lucien,' my captor said quietly, the name echoing with a hint of a snarl. 'Behave.'

Lucien went rigid, but he hopped off the edge of the table and bowed deeply to me."

-

"'So,' he said, 'when are you going to start trying to persuade me to beseech Tamlin to find a way to free you from the Treaty's rules?'

I tried not to jolt. 'What?'

'That's why you agreed to come out here, isn't it? Why you wound up at the stables exactly as I was leaving?' He shot me a sideways glance with that russet eye of his. 'Honestly, I'm impressed - and flattered you think I have that kind of sway with Tamlin.'"

-

"'He would probably shred them for disobeying his order to stay away.'

A brush of ice slithered across my nape. 'He would be that brutal?'

Lucien studied the wine in his goblet. 'You don't hold onto power by being everyone's friend'"

i know the inconsistency with how the construct of the night court is extremely disconnected from the rest of the courts (which, honestly, really takes me out of the story. i like the vibe of the first book because they actually felt like faeries) in a way that makes you forget these are meant to be faeries with old fashioned thinking combined with the brutal way faeries think and live. but you cannot compare the dynamic of the other high lords and their courts and subjects to what you see of the night court which is basically the high lord and his buddies. so yeah - it's going to seem like lucien could have pushed his arguing further like rhysand's "brothers" do, but that's not how it was for lucien, and feyre really tried to expect lucien to risk his life or risk getting severely punished/getting thrown out (which would leave the people of spring who he really cares about far more lost without him)

lol but why do i keep bringing up the other members of the spring court? feyre clearly doesn't give a fuck about them. she destroyed their court and left so many innocents completely vulnerable during a horrific and devastating war

(it's also interesting how rhysand gets a pass for murdering and torturing for the sake of his court yet lucien not risking his life by pushing his high lord too far and focusing on all of spring rather than just one sole person for his court is too far and he doesn't get a pass like rhysand)

"even when you saw me wasting away day by day." k. this is another annoying fucking line. again, lucien tried. on top of that - when the fuck has feyre taken the time to care about lucien's ptsd? they all have ptsd. and meanwhile, while tamlin is struggling with his own, lucien has to forget his and focus on keeping the court together. again. how dare feyre make him feel like he left her alone with her ptsd only to later on take advantage of his and put him in danger at the same time

"I never realized what a powerful motivator guilt could be."

(hmm... you sure 'bout that, feyre? because you seem pretty fkn familiar with that tactic)

lucien has suffered and been cast aside his whole life. he grew up being horribly abused and also watching his mother receive the same treatment. he then had to watch the woman he loved be murdered in front of him by his family. despite that and the hate and ptsd and mistrust and detachment and all else that comes with that sort of trauma - he does not hold that in his soul for others. even for people who treat him like shit. he doesn't owe any of them anything. not one single person. he owes them all nothing. and yet he gives his kindness, forgiveness, effort, respect, and understanding anyway despite how none of them appreciate him to the point where he is completely alone and has no home by the end of the series (until jurian and vassa but we still know little about them).

and it's very clear how lost and alone he feels no matter what amount of effort and sincerity he puts in

“'as the youngest of seven sons, i wasn't particularly needed or wanted. Perhaps it was a good thing. I was able to study for longer than my father allowed my brothers before shoving them out the door to rule over some territory within our lands, and I could train for as long as I'd like, since no one believed I'd be dumb enough to kill my way up the long list of heirs. And when I grew bored with studying and fighting... I learned what I could of the land from its people. Learned about the people, too.'"

"As if sensing my thoughts, Lucien said, 'You don't have to waste your time convincing me. I get it. I get... I get that we were not what you wanted. Or needed. How small and isolated our home must have been for you, once you saw this.' He jerked his chin toward the city, where lights were now sparkling into view amid the falling twilight. 'Who could compare?'

I almost said, 'Don't you mean what could compare?' but I held my tongue."

-

"'One would think, Lucien, that you'd be glad I fell in love with my mate, given that you're in the same situation Rhys was in six months ago.'

'You left us.'

Us. Not Tamlin. Us. The words echoed into the dark, toward the howling wind and lashing snow beyond the bend.

'I told you that day in the woods: you abandoned me long before I ever physically left.' I shivered again, having every point of contact, that I so desperately needed his warmth. 'You fit into the Spring Court as little as I did, Lucien.'

*

His metal eye whirred. 'And where, exactly, do you believe I will fit in? The Night Court?'

I didn't answer. I didn't have one, honestly."

-

"'What was your motive where I was concerned? Did you plan to spare me from your path of destruction because of any genuine friendship, or simply for fear of what it might do to her?'

I didn't answer.

'Well? What was your grand plan for me before Ianthe interfered?'

I pulled at a stray thread in the bedroll. 'You would have been fine.'"

-

"'I hadn't realized I was the villain in your narrative,' Lucien breathed.

'You weren't.' Not entirely."

aaaand on top of that - his mate currently wants nothing to do with him (who he also feels heavy guilt and deep betrayal for even wanting at all because of jesminda despite how he can't control it because he's heartbreakingly loyal)

so, yeah, if you excuse feyre's treatment of him with the claim that he apparently "just stood by" then you can fuck all the way off

now! let's say it all together now, friends!

lucien vanserra doesn't owe feyre or anyone jack shit

[asilentfrenzy]

Calling real people "idiots" is just down right pathetic . Then again you like ugly and powerless men so your life must already be awful .

Lucien is pro ab*se , racism and classism . Glad you love him so much

lolllllllll

[ditsyghost]

insides of emptiness I’ll never abandon you 🥺

[asilentfrenzy]

😭💕💕

[ditsyghost]

i will defend drastoria to death because insides of emptiness literally changed my life, it made me start staying up late and i would read it over and over again, and it like ripped me apart, then stitched me back up and really changed who I am. I am who I am because of drastoria fanfics, please give love to that fanfic guys <3

[asilentfrenzy]

😭😭 i love you so much 💕

[asilentfrenzy]

ugh i wish i could like targ content on tiktok without also getting daenerys edits on my algo 🙄🙄

[arielderm27-deactivated20250506]

“Elain was like a dog, loyal to whatever master kept her fed and in comfort.”

— Nesta in ACOSF (chapter 32)

“Why not tell Elain about the baby’s sex first?”. “She discovered the pregnancy. I wanted you to know this part before anyone else.”

— Feyre to Nesta in ACOSF ( chapter 21)

And this is why Elain desperately needs to get out of the NC. This is how they all see her. Feyre didn’t even bother telling Elain about her pregnancy whereas she wanted to reveal it to Nesta herself. Rhysand treats her like she’ll be of no help whatsoever in scrying or anything court-related and has all his focus narrowed only on Nesta’s abilities. Cassian outright said she doesn’t belong in this court how much ever she claims to be a part of it. Amren and Mor just don’t care. Azriel is just out there projecting all his unresolved issues on her and making incel like decisions for her. The twins who are spies/househelps for Rhysand and Az, which makes them basically her ‘paid-friends’. Elain is barely respected and valued there,which is so sad. She really needs to get out and take over spring or something and find her own path, her own found family and let her true potential shine. Whether she accepts the mate bond or not doesn’t matter. But the NC, the Inner Circle and Azriel is most definitely not for someone like her.

[asilentfrenzy]

i am so concerned that sarah just thinks this is an okay way for them to treat her. sometimes she seems aware of her characters flaws while other times she seems to just think they are justified in all of their abhorrent, arrogant, self-righteous behavior

[asilentfrenzy]

what is this obsession with erasing lucien's autumn court identity i don't get it lol. his room at tim tam's was literally autumn themed. he can embrace his day court side without changing his entire aesthetic. he is like the only high fae that actually gives off faerie vibes in this series he doesn't have to ditch all of his clothes for a permanent toga pls 😭😭

[kitnjon]

dark jon fics recommendations?

1. Beasts of Seasons by simonetta

She had prepared her words and her actions meticulously. She hadn’t prepared to actually see him. Or, Jon and Sansa reunite and things don't go according to plan, forcing Sansa to reevaluate her identity and her loyalties and forcing Jon to come back to himself. Post-ADWD, bookverse fic. Jon and Sansa reunite on campaign to win back Winterfell.

2. The Difference by @asilentfrenzy

“I was not the one to strangle your brother or burn your grandfather.” “The North sees no difference.” Sansa’s glassy eyes focused and trained directly on Aemon's, her gaze becoming fiery with an intensity that threw him off before her tone dropped in temperature. “The Starks see no difference." The implication was clear and quite intentional, and the blow was all the harder in the knowledge that she took the risk to make it despite how fearful of him she was.

3. deathless by @kingsansa

“The men I came here with,” He began, “The ones my family chooses to associate with—they aren’t my friends. And they’re nobody you would want to know. They’re callous and greedy. They aren’t good people. If they see something or someone that belongs to someone who they perceive as their better, they’ll want it. They’ll do anything to take it. They can’t help themselves.” His skin was rough, but his touch on the underside of her jaw was velvet. His fingertips were cold. She told herself that that was why she was shuddering. “Do you understand?” He asked. She didn’t. She was tired and tipsy and confused and frustrated— She was starving in a way she never had before, for something that she couldn’t understand. “But I don’t belong to you,” She said, uncertain and shaky; a doe on new legs. “No,” He said. “You don’t.” And she wondered if she imagined it, the way his chin ducked, a nod of appeasement, as if to say: Not yet.

4.Cute But a Psycho by @amymel86

Sansa is hung over on the morning her husband's severed hands are delivered to her doorstep.

5. hiraeth by @kingsansa

“You’ll permit me.” He murmured. It was not a question. But for reasons she could not understand, she knew she would. He ran his fingers over her cheek. Along her brow. Underneath her chin. He did not venture underneath her veil. He acted as if he did not need to. His touch was warm, almost reverent. When at last, his hand returned to his side, he said, just loud enough for her to hear, “There you are.” Alayne said nothing, but the breath she released was tremulous. Anticipatory. Exhilarated.

6. wolfsong by @kingsansa

She does not close her eyes. She does not sleep. She does not dream. After almost 200 years of running, it is the one place he always manages to find her.

7. Beloved Monster by @amymel86

“An acquaintance of mine can settle all your debts,” the man says, still not looking at Harrold as he makes his offer. Sansa is stunned. Glancing to Harry, she can tell he is too. Her hand absentmindedly reaches up to her neck, tips of her fingers whispering over the bare skin where her mother’s garnet necklace used to sit. Coming out of his momentary stupor, Harry shakes his head. “Sir, I thank you for the offer but my debts are significant and I doubt your acquaintance will-“ “He has the means to cover it all and is happy to do so.” “I-...” her husband scratches at the back of his head. “Repayment will be.... slow. I do not have the means to-“ “Repayments will not be necessary.” Sansa frowns. This is surely some sort of entrapment for her husband. Is he bright enough not to fall for it? Who is this gentleman and who is this acquaintance of his that seemingly wants to throw away his money on a scoundrel like her husband? Harry’s brow furrows. “No repayments? Then what does your friend want in return?” The gentleman’s gaze flicks over Sansa’s form again. “Your wife.”

8. what used to be by @woodswit

the fallout of a marriage of convenience.

9. writer’s block by @woodswit

Writer!Sansa on a deadline for a scene she has no idea how to write, tattooed bartender!Jon. i have nothing else to say for myself.

10. one slip and i am dead by @woodswit

She would rather die than ask Jon, of all people, for help. The history between them is gnarled, knotted, dangerous. But Sansa thinks she knows something about the nuns that keep going missing in Boston, and she knows no one else will believe her.

11. From Instep to Heel by @orangeflavoryawp

“‘I’m a Targaryen,’ he says finally, the words smarting along his tongue, even now. A need and an uncertainty all at once. ‘And she – ’ He stops, swallows. ‘She is nothing,’ he finishes tightly, the untruth a tremulous exhale as it leaves him.” - Jon and Sansa. Like the curve of the horizon, when the moon breaks from beneath its bow.

12. the night we met by @woodswit

They have both left what happened that night—and everything that transpired—in the past, but now Jon's back and he has a request, one Sansa cannot turn down.

13 i fall to pieces (when i'm with you) by usuallysunny

"Go North. Only North. Jon is Lord Commander at the Castle Black. He'll help you." He'd had good intentions, this broken shadow of a man who used to be Theon, and he couldn't have known. Sansa finds a Lord Commander at Castle Black. He has steel-grey eyes, her father's eyes, and a dark beard framing a strong jaw, and he looks and sounds and moves like Jon... But he's not Jon.

14. your halo slipping down by @woodswit

When Arya disappears while hunting Sansa's stalker, Sansa knows she's got to take matters into her own hands. Her first move is to go north-- --to Jon Snow, who has just been released from prison. Jon Snow, the boy in black, is her last hope.

15. A Violence Done Most Kindly by @orangeflavoryawp

“There is an old sort of magic to sacrifice, after all.” - Jon and Sansa. Stark is a house of many winters.

16. when the walls come tumbling down by @phantomphaeton

These violent delights have violent ends. With salt and smoke, fire and blood, iron and ice, the tides of fate wash clean the saviors of the continent. Two years after Daenerys Targaryen and Jon Snow ride south to win the Last War, Westeros is on the verge of destabilization. The Red Wolf—left simmering in fury in the North—is compelled to rejoin the Great Game.

17. Dark! Jon Snow series by @justadram

[asilentfrenzy]

thank you so much! 💕💕

[asilentfrenzy]

if sjm ever cut lucien's hair i'd probably cease to exist. there would be no greater sin

[asilentfrenzy]

hey, guys?? i know lucien's father is the high lord of day, but he's an autumn boy through and through. his room was literally made to look like autumn in the spring court. he's not gonna suddenly forget mamaserra's side once he finds out about his father

[asilentfrenzy]

remember when lucien gave feyre his cloak on that mountain while he shivered and froze in the cold right after feyre's arrogant ass didn't listen to him about making it through his own damn court and then she still proceeded to continue to be a complete asshole to him despite his selflessness that she didn't deserve?? 🤗

[asilentfrenzy]

Autumn Leaves on a Flowered Breeze - Elucien

A mistake.

A mistake. That's what he had called it.

Elain didn't know what she was doing.

What was she doing? Standing in front of Lucien's door after what had just occurred was the last thing she should be doing, but her legs had carried her there before she had known what was happening.

It wasn't fair to him. She knew what they meant to one another. She knew, despite how she had done enough to make it clear she hadn't had any intention of having a relationship with him, that he hadn't been with other females, and yet there she had been right below him ready to kiss another male and who knew what else. She also knew that despite what she had been willing to do with another male that she was incredibly satisfied he never touched other females - that he was loyal to her. That also wasn't fair to him. It was incredibly selfish of her, but she couldn't help it. Admittedly, she didn't want to try.

She raised a hand to knock, freezing when the door opened just before she managed. There he stood, bare chested and expecting her, hair unbound and tousled like he had been pulling his fingers through it out of stress. She could only stare, having no idea what to say to him. Wordlessly, he stepped back, pulling his door open wider for her before clicking it shut behind her after she took his invitation without hesitation. When she turned back around he was leaning against his door with crossed arms, watching her with his gold eye whirring.

“Are you doing alright tonight, dove?”

She blinked, surprised by his incredibly informal question. Lucien was never so casual with her. She swallowed, wondering just how much he knew. Was there resentment in his tone when he asked it? She searched his face, finding nothing but a neutral gaze with just a touch of wary concern. So he wasn't upset with her, never once had he ever made her feel as though he was upset with her, but perhaps upset enough by whatever he had concluded about what she had been doing downstairs to not be as controlled as she was used to him being with her.

“No, I'm not,” she said simply, tilting her nose up slightly as she tried to appear sure of herself, clasping her hands behind her back. “I am not doing alright at all, and I am sure you know that.”

“I do know that,” he confirmed, dipping his head in acknowledgment, the concern in his eyes more evident.

“And I came up here to ask you for something,” she breathed.

“Anything for you, lady,” he automatically replied.

Of course that would be his answer. She already knew that would be his answer. Another reason why it wasn't fair for her to come up to him.

“I want a kiss.”

There was a moment of hesitation, and she knew why.

He was an honorable male.

She closed her eyes, ice cold defeat slowly trickling in. He wouldn't do it. Of course he wouldn't, and she shouldn't have gone up to his room to stand before him and demand his touch and affection just minutes after wanting another male's. Right beneath her mate. When she knew Azriel had gotten a thrill out of the fact, and that thought alone had made her feel gross and wrong, but she was desperate for real desire. Not forced desire sourced from some magical bond that neither one of them could control. But apparently she wasn't going to get that.

Before she could speak again, hands were cradling her face and tipping her head back as her lips were captured by his. She was unable to help the small gasp of surprise as he took advantage of her parted lips. Instantly she melted into the kiss, and she shouldn't have been surprised by how right it felt and how naturally she welcomed his kiss. She had always been tentative before in her kisses, but there was no hesitation when returning Lucien's. Her mate's.

She could feel the significant restraint behind his kiss, the raw hunger behind it. And though he was doing a very good job holding himself back, she could feel the smallest need to punish, to show her all that she had been trying to escape. Him. There was vengeance in his kiss, but nothing malicious. She tasted desperation as well, an urgency to prove himself.

What shocked her was how thrilled she was by the subtle possessiveness of it. She had fought so hard against the idea of him having any claim to her, but everything about it felt right and the effect on her very soul was instant. She could feel the pieces of her that had gone missing blooming once more and he had only just started to touch her.

His hand slid down to lightly guide her by the back of her neck, his thumb tipping her jaw back as he towered over her further, the same thumb tracing down over the center of her throat. She shivered beneath the very simple touch. It was subtle, but it reminded her that he was inhuman and there was a predator somewhere deep inside of him. Quite deep, based on how exemplary of a courtier he was, at least when it came to her, but it was there, and there was a piece of her that didn't exist before the Cauldron that called to it. He devoured her, and she wanted to race to devour him first despite how she knew she would lose every time. She couldn't even remember how it felt to kiss Graysen. She could hardly remember her name.

She made a small sound of protest when he broke the kiss much sooner than she would have liked, but his lips still hovered over hers.

"What happened, Elain? Why did you come to my room already scented with arousal? Was it for another male?" His thumb stroked back up her throat. "Hmm?"

"It was... not," she struggled to get out, completely out of breath and out of sorts as she was continuously shocked by his behavior.

"No?" He asked in only partially mocking curiosity, his head cocking to the side in a near comical way as the manner of it reminded her again that he was not at all human.

"No," she repeated firmly, tilting her chin back more as she watched his face, a taste of defiance on her tongue. “Whenever you are near I feel… flustered. I only meant to remedy it with another male.” She smiled when he responded with a snarl he clearly meant to keep in, pleased he had failed. At that moment the fey part of her didn't want a gentleman. The fey part of her wanted to challenge.

“And how did that work out for you?”

“I'm here, aren't I?”

[asilentfrenzy]

Would you ever go back and update your DracoxAstoria fic?

yes, if you can believe it! i have the next two chapters done (and have had them done for years), but i just can't seem to edit them and get them posted. honestly my writing has improved so much since that fic and i want to edit the whole story, but it's over sixty chapters and over 300k words 💀💀 i also want to replace ophelia's character with the character she was originally meant to be because she's so poorly done in comparison to the other female characters, so that's also nagging at me. but i will get the final chapters out before fixing the entire thing!

[clarasogatsby]

Oh my goodness!! I totally forgot about this fic! This has always been a fic I come back to over and over again after years. I even recommend it on discord servers. One of the most interesting takes on pureblood society! Would love if this got updated, especially because of the cliff hanger with Narcissa!

[asilentfrenzy]

aww thank you so much! that means so much!! i haven't had anyone talk to me about that fic in a long time! i could send you what i have written if you're interested 🥰

[asilentfrenzy]

Fuck, marry, kill, but it's Rice crispy, Carry on, Azriel

lol kill azriel, fuck carry on, marry rice crispy (controversial, i know, but i would not be able to handle either of the sidekick bAt bOyS and i at least enjoyed rice crispy in the beginning of the books as a character and i don't want to marry someone who is willing to be a lackey to their master even at the expense of the so-called love of their life. pathetic 🤢🤢)

[asilentfrenzy]

This might be so random, but I feel like the detail of Elain banging her old fiance was such a retcon. Like Elain is an uppity prim bitch. I just felt like it was a lazy cop out from the author, so she could get straight into kinky smut.

sarah said she doesn't like to do virginity scenes. which is fine, but i think that as an author it's wild to change a character to accommodate writing blocks. the type of culture she set for her human world definitely points to a purity culture, which elain would definitely adhere to. unless grayson really pressured her, i think it was a poor choice as an author to add that bit in. it worked with feyre and nesta (even though i didn't think nesta's "rock bottom" ((🙄)) fit her either), but it is definitely an obvious cop-out for elain. i at least hope she has an issue with virginity scenes for other reasons than them being too "boring" for her

[asilentfrenzy]

Would you ever go back and update your DracoxAstoria fic?

yes, if you can believe it! i have the next two chapters done (and have had them done for years), but i just can't seem to edit them and get them posted. honestly my writing has improved so much since that fic and i want to edit the whole story, but it's over sixty chapters and over 300k words 💀💀 i also want to replace ophelia's character with the character she was originally meant to be because she's so poorly done in comparison to the other female characters, so that's also nagging at me. but i will get the final chapters out before fixing the entire thing!

[asilentfrenzy]

Whats your ship? gwynriel/elucien 🥰

When was the moment you shipped them?

What are your top 3 reasons why you ship them?

What is one thing you'd love to see in their book?

elucien 🦊🌸

1. they are so compatible in every way. i have a giant post of sources on that, so i won't be writing a novel here on it, but there is SO much they have in common!

2. i think they will bring out the best in each other

3. the aesthetic?? excellent

i MUST see lucien challenging elain. her coping mechanism is avoidance. lucien won't coddle her because he respects her and doesn't infantilize her like literally everyone else

(i do think gwynriel will be endgame, but i am not an azriel fan. i ship him with extensive therapy. but gwyn does seem to be good for him!)