Sing me to sleep...

Jayden | 26 | I'll see you in my dreams

[fritolaycorporation]

here at frito lays company building, we have always belueved that organic life is aplague upon this world that must be eradicated at all costs

[noknowshame]

I know we’re all like lawless nonconformists but you really can’t be texting and driving. that’s one of the ones you’ve gotta listen to for real

[theprofessional-amateur]

Me when I contact IT and tell them yes I restarted and followed any instructions I could but computer still angry and IT says they are escalating this because it is an actual issue: I am getting a good grade in service desk ticket. Something that is both normal to want and possible to achieve.

Link to post

[oodlyenough]

a thing about me is i basically never notice a wig or other kind of hairpiece in tv/movies. it has to be party city territory for me to even twig it. people will complain about characters' wigs looking bad and i will nod along but there is like a 90% chance i did not notice for a second while watching. i consider this mostly a blessing.

[dankmemeuniversity]

[iamoutofideas]

[bookpdf]

oh this phrase is not going to leave my mind for a solid week at least. obsessed with this collection of words

[bookpdf]

le doohickie in question btw:

[jomjjeoro]

hey guys. this is my invention. check it out

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[kaijuyuri]

i like how all cats regardless of species can either look rlly badass and cool or just incredibly silly stupid

[kaijuyuri]

my proof

[hylianane]

functionally suicidal character saying “I would die for you” to their significant other and its like. I get the sentiment, honey, but if a hot dog vendor told me he’d sell hot dogs for me, I wouldn’t feel very moved now would I

[maseratus]

Now a functionally suicidal character saying “I will live for you”. Now that’s a dynamic I can sink my teeth into.

[mousidy]

now how about a functionally suicidal character saying "I will sell hot dogs for you"

[mousidy]

[bisthefairy]

Hotdog vender lays down their life to protect their suicidal partner, who then takes over the hotdog stand to carry on their memory...

[anti-parent]

teamwork makes the dream work. and dreamwork. makes shrek

[anti-parent]

fantastic. i love it. i posted this after my wife said it yesterday and as i was doing it i was like "this can't be an original thought. as soon as i hit post someone's going to say 'you stole this from a tweet from 2014' and i'll say 'no, i stole it from my beautiful wife.'"

[willpowers]

white usamericans when asked how they're doing, will never say "bad". they'll just say "I'm hanging in there" and that is universally understood as them being so so bad. like. no american is happily hanging in there. we don't like the hang.

[woundsodomy]

So scary to like a mutual's post because what if they remember they hate me and then shoot me with a gun

[lillie-garden]

kissing you on the forehead

[increasingpanic-deactivated2024]

with tongue?

[lillie-garden]

with tongue. 🥰

[just-taking-adam-break]

[goslinggf]

um...exsqueak me ?

[riseofthecommonwoodpile]

you make one fucking post where the point is “women are encouraged to develop disordered eating from a very young age and that impacts how we view the ‘natural’ size and shape of women” and too many reblogs later i am being accused of saying short people wouldn’t exist if they ate better growing up. i’m sorry but if you genuinely think i was saying that you are just a buffoon. i cannot and will not sanction your buffoonery.

[what-even-is-thiss]

You’d think that once you finally get long term access to a cat and your yearning to have cat access is fulfilled that you’d become slightly less obsessed with seeing people’s cats but no if anything it gets worse

[archangel-fucking-judas]

I love when my cat meows at me and I can see her little teeths cause she looks like this