Ask Senior Iterator Granite Pillars

Greetings, all! I am Granite Pillars Stained By Statuesque Memories Of A Thousand Hands, and I have recently opened up my communications arrays to recieve distant signals! Feel free to ask me anything- about my work regarding the Great Problem, about my local environments, for advice, history, anything at all. I eagerly await any and all correspondences. (Run by @boiledegghole Granite Pillars is my beloved iterator oc! shes my beloved old lady. along with answering asks, i will probably also be posting my art of her here!)

[ask-granite-pillars]

Granite Pillars- do you have any hobbies? An activity that you particularly enjoy doing?

There's not much food on my can, here in the middle of the ocean, so these resourceful things make food out of me! They're lucky that I have so much more biological material than the modern iterator, or they would surely starve...

[BROADCAST TRANSCRIPT]

GP: I specialize in biopsychological theorization, but I enjoy ecology as a hobby!

GP: I take great pride in the biodiversity of my can’s ecosystem.

GP: Here’s a fun fact for you: over 90% of my native flora and fauna are parasites of me in some capacity!

GP: I don’t begrudge them for it, though it does itch!

[ask-granite-pillars]

[TRANSMISSION REQUEST INBOUND. PARTICIPANTS: Ten Ounces Of Enriched Egg White (ADMIN, URAD), Unit of Radioactive Decay, Granite Pillars Stained By Statuesque Memories Of A Thousand Hands] [Live Broadcast] URAD: Hello? Is this reaching you? URAD: Your communications towers appear to be somewhat degraded. it took several tries to- TEN OUNCES (crosstalk, from out of frame): You degrade my efforts! Several tries and me fixing the formatting, as well. URAD: Several tries and my administrator's assistance in order to get a signal through. Your upkeep seems to be rather neglected, group senior. But I expect that it would be quite difficult to keep one of your age running in the first place. I am told that I should keep an amiable relationship with my group's senior, but I believe that Ten Ounces was more enthusiastic to meet you than I. TEN OUNCES (faint, from out of frame): Granite Pillars Stained By Statuesque Memories Of A Thousand Hands is the oldest surviving iterator, and it would be an honor to learn anything she might still have in her archives. URAD (directed towards indeterminate point to left of frame): As has been true for the past twelve times you have mentioned this. URAD: Truthfully, I do not know what value there is that I can gain from this, besides simply being aware of those above me on my local group's chain of command, but Ten Ounces was quite insistent that we at least try now that your communications are back online- TEN OUNCES (crosstalk, from out of frame): (undecipherable) TEN OUNCES: (very low voice, from bottom corner of frame): Don't say that to your group senior! URAD: -and so, here we are. Hello. I am Unit of Radioactive Decay. It is nice to meet you.

Oh, I remember this broadcast very well! We met (properly, at least- I did work on their genome and construction plans before they were activated fully) long after I had already grown obsolete. Unit of Radioactive Decay is the second-oldest in our local group, and I consider us to be good friends, research partners, and distant neighbors.

[BROADCAST TRANSCRIPT]

GP: Do I know you?

GP: Silent Embrace of Leaves? Is that you?

URAD: Your name data appears to be out of date.

URAD: To a nearly comical degree.

URAD: As of four thousand, three hundred, and twenty-six cycles ago, it is Unit of Radioactive Decay.

GP: Oh. 

GP: It’s been a long, long time since I’ve seen you last- my apologies.

GP: It’s a pleasure to meet you once more!

GP: Have you been doing well?

TEN OUNCES: Um.

URAD: Have you been maintained... at all... in the cycles since you were constructed?

GP: Ha!

GP: Not much, these days! 

GP: I’m far out of date, as you can undoubtedly tell.

URAD: It shows.

GP: Would you believe that I put in a request for the repair of my communications systems over a thousand cycles ago?

GP: And yet, here I am, as my communications remain in this tragic state… my greatest gratitudes to your administrator for managing to connect us at all!

URAD: Your administrators sound very inefficient. Are you sure that you have technicians? If your memories are in the state they seem to be, you may have been sending your requests to the inbox of someone who has already moved on.

URAD: You should check your active staff. It would be very inefficient to make your current administrators comb through the emails of their predecessors.

GP: Perhaps I should...

GP: Ah, it's such a hassle to deal with seasonal administrators.

GP: I was never meant to have to deal with a city, and you'd think my administrators would be able to work around that...

GP: Sigh.

[The broadcast continues for some time as iterators Granite Pillars Stained By Statuesque Memories Of A Thousand Hands and Unit Of Radioactive Decay continue to exchange words.]

[ask-granite-pillars]

Granite Pillars! Granite Pillars? What are your thoughts on the recent controversial noise milking technique that claims that the fundamental radioelectro signals are, in fact, obsolete compared to geothermal?

There are some downfalls to living this long... everything new always comes as a surprise. I also usually specialize in biopsychological theorizing, so this isn't quite my area of expertise... perhaps my neighbor Unit Of Radioactive Decay would know more about this?

[mantisgodsdomain]

[LOADING...]

[LOADING...]

[LOADING...]

[MESSAGE FROM USER: UNIT OF RADIOACTIVE DECAY]

[COMMUNICATIONS DAMAGED. CONNECTION AT HIGH RISK OF CORRUPTION. PLEASE CONTACT A TECHNICIAN FOR REPAIR.]

What? What on earth are you talking about? The very theory of noise milking as a transmission source is fundamentally flawed, especially when applied to Us and Our Nature, and applying Ever Crowing Jackdaws' theory of exploitation of mind to fifth dimensional harmonics was pseudoscience even in the era when it was proposed. If you had done even a second of research on the isolated behavior of void fluid-

[MESSAGE CONTINUES FOR: 11029 LINES. DOWNLOAD MESSAGE?]

[ask-granite-pillars]

Granite Pillars! Granite Pillars? What are your thoughts on the recent controversial noise milking technique that claims that the fundamental radioelectro signals are, in fact, obsolete compared to geothermal?

There are some downfalls to living this long... everything new always comes as a surprise. I also usually specialize in biopsychological theorizing, so this isn't quite my area of expertise... perhaps my neighbor Unit Of Radioactive Decay would know more about this?

[BROADCAST TRANSCRIPT]

GP: I...

GP: Hm...

GP: I admit that I am getting old...

GP: I have never heard of any "noise milking" techniques, much less any controversial new techniques...

GP: My apologies.

[ask-granite-pillars]

The relationship between you, your slugcat, and it’s mother is adorable! They really are sweet creatures aren’t they? How many have you seen or encountered? Or if that’s a lot, are there any particularly memorable encounters? Your wonderful Granite Pillars!

Its sibling was very sweet, too- their mother raised them well. Perhaps it lives with one of the local colonies now?

[BROADCAST TRANSCRIPT]

GP: Well, there are so many memorable encounters to choose from...

GP: Hmm...

GP: Well...

GP: If only my messenger could speak- it likely has better memorie than I on this topic.

GP: I recall it had a sibling- they would often accompany their mother together.

GP: I wonder where it went?

[ask-granite-pillars]

[a data pearl washes up] [it somehow doesn't break from being slapped against the concrete and metal by the waves]

h 3ll o Gorg eous ! 🤗🔥🐝🐝 I`m feelin g SO Hot today 😫😫🥵💦 I n33d s0mb0d7 to UNDR355 me 💋💋💞💓💯

🕳 www.rrealiteratorcats.cum Se e me Here ! 😚😝

[the pearl appears to have been signed, but has since faded and been scratched into incomprehensibility]

It is always a nuisance when my messenger brings me malware. Please do not litter- for the sake of those who end up with the waste.

[BROADCAST TRANSCRIPT]

GP: How impolite.

[ask-granite-pillars]

[Broadcast open - Four Salvages, Granite Pillars]

FS: Hello! I hope you are still operating.

FS: I would like to learn more on the relation between yourself and your puppet. I was not built with one, so I am quite interested!

I've heard that for most, the mere presence of a puppet dulls the awareness of the full body. Not me, unfortunately. I feel pain all too well.

[BROADCAST TRANSCRIPT]

GP: Hmm. What a fascinating question. My puppet, at the least, is akin to...

GP: Hm.

GP: I was going to say a finger, but I doubt you would get much from that. An overseer, perhaps, may be an easier comparison.

GP: Iterators are vast. Our outer shells are like thunderous mountains.

GP: A puppet is a singular, burning point of lightning.

GP: It is if our most delicate sensory locus was locked in a box.

GP: Because, in the end, we are.

GP: Locked in a box, I mean.

GP: Not that we can do anything about it.

[ask-granite-pillars]

I was rummaging through my memory arrays a few cycles back, and look! This is the mother of my dear messenger- both of them are of the unique bright-tailed breed native to my isolated can structure. This is her first proper meeting with my puppet, and look at the whites of her eyes! Poor thing was quite nervous...

[ask-granite-pillars]

My loyal slugcat, venturing away from home for the first time! I've been feeding this one's mother for some time now, and it allowed me to handle her pup enough to train! Now practically fully-grown, it can even make basic usage of a signed language from the Yellow Hegemonic Dynasty, isn't that amazing?

This sweet thing is my first and only messenger as of right now- and this is its first mission! I hope it returns safely...