i lied to y'all, after writing for 9 fandoms i can assure you nothing hits as hard as mystic messenger
it's 6 am and i'm thinking about jumin han. small, probably in the austism spectrum jumin han that was locked in his basement because he didn't act like a "normal child". how he's mocked for his "robot-like" behaviour and his hard set of rules, and since he has money to spare, nobody gives him a second glance. jumin, who finds comfort alongside the girlfriend of his best friend and even if he knows she'll never return his feelings, he's happy to be by her side. until she takes her own life, and he desperately clings to the only reminder of her, a small, white cat, while he listens to his friends mock him for the way he's coping. jumin, whose head is full of messy thoughts he can't quite understand or detangle until he meets you. you, who teaches him love is warm and kind and that yes, it was possible to love him just as he is.
i'm thinking about saeran choi. the youngest and constantly sick saeran that lives with an abusive mother and loves his brother more than anything else in the world. saeran, who is tricked and forced to believe said brother abandoned him, and endures physical abuse in the form of beatings and forced drug-intake. his psyche is so deteriorated he's forced to create other personas to protect himself. saeran that is taught he's useless, unworthy of love and just a useless airhead. and yet, even in his worse times and after being literally tortured, he can still find the beauty in flowers. saeran, who is in such a fragile mental state and yet he finds warmth in your touch and eventually takes your hand, escaping his chains with the promise of a new beginning.
i'm thinking of hyun ryu, our lovely zen. how he escaped from his house after enduring emotional abuse and (presumably) predatory behaviour in his school. how people have made him believe he's nothing else but his looks and he tries, he tries so hard not to believe them. zen, who has been taught that even your family can betray you so it's better to do things on your own and don't depend on anyone. shit, zen who heals up quickly because he's never had anyone to take care of him before. and yet, when you show up he starts to believe maybe, just maybe, he had finally found his happy ending by your side.
i'm thinking of saeyoung choi. happy go-lucky saeyoung who is forced to perform as the clown of the group, the comic relief and yet no one realizes how much pain he's actually carrying. how he's been emotionally and physically abused since he can remember, but also how he's denied the possibility to see the person he loves the most, his brother. how he has earnt so much money and yet he can't even walk down the street, forced to live in the shadows and never emotionally connect with anyone in order to protect them. saeyoung, who is so scared of love that he distances himself the second he notices his heart beats faster when you're around. saeyoung, who eventually is given a second chance to start a new life with you and his brother.
i'm thinking of jihyun kim. elusive, mysterious jihyun that was manipulated in order to despise everything his own mother represented. jihyun, that is left a mess of guilt and sorrow when she gives up her life for him, and he realizes he was in the wrong too late. he wished he could have saved her, so when he finds another young, broken girl, he decides he'll do anything in his power to love and save her. jihyun, who is physically and emotionally abused by the same girl, and yet his vow to protect her remains still, distancing himself from his friends and putting himself in second place. fucking hell, jihyun who didn't remember how it felt to be hugged until you did so. jihyun, who messed up but deserves a second chance, one he finds with you.
i'm thinking of yoosung kim. sheltered yoosung, top of his class and grade a student until the person he looked up to and loved the most dies out of the blue. how everyone thinks he's lazy and just addicted to games when he's trying to cope with probably post traumatic stress disorser or depression after the death of his beloved cousin. yoosung, who is desperate for someone to understand him, to be patient, to let him grieve in peace. yoosung who is lost in life and yet is the bravest of them all, coming face to face with anything that dares to put you in danger. you, the one that was caring, loving and understanding with his grief.
i'm thinking about jaehee kang. jaehee, who lost her parents too young and was forced to grow up sooner than she had wished for. jaehee, who was denied of her normal teenage years and was taught her job determined her worth as a person. jaehee who finds solace in supporting a new artist because she sees so much talent, passion and raw feelings in his eyes, it makes her feel something, even when she's had the worst of days. lovely jaehee who just needs someone to supoort her, to tell her that, even if she can do everything alone, she doesn't have to. jaehee who starts experiencing love and, while she has trouble putting it into words, you know that every part of her soul is filled with thoughts of you.
so yeah. nothing hits quite like mystic messenger.
