What your favorite hero says about you
Abaddon: You like to argue about what does and does not create a carry, and also enjoy diving towers without suffering any consequences.
Alchemist: You enjoy making money but you're probably not efficient enough to play this hero.
Ancient Apparition: You like making ice puns in all chat.
Anti-Mage: You want to be the carry and the other team picked a couple int supports.
Axe: You hate fun and also the meta.
Bane: You love fun and also brains.
Batrider: You're stuck in 2012 but nobody in 1k seems to notice.
Beastmaster: [bounty rune voice clip]
Bloodseeker: You're a bastard and you fear 6.85
Bounty Hunter: You have a Pavlovian response to the word "dust".
Brewmaster: You like beer and don't mind some micro every now and again.
Bristleback: You're disgusting.
Broodmother: You're either a horrible arachnapologist or you like to have fun.
Centaur Warrunner: Fucking bronies
Chaos Knight: You're probably into warhammer.
Chen: You hate having fun.
Clinkz: spooky scary skeletons send shivers down your spine
Clockwerk: You love the concept of a Hell in the Cell match.
Crystal Maiden: You like to run slow and die fast.
Dark Seer: You read an excerpt from The Art of War once, maybe.
Dazzle: You know what's up.
Death Prophet: You enjoy New Orleans and ghosts.
Disruptor: You are a filthy dinosaur fetishist.
Doom: You're a vore fetishist.
Dragon Knight: DK? Really? I bet you main Link in Smash, too.
Drow Ranger: You want to be a carry and you can't play any other ones.
Earthshaker: You enjoy shaking and/or quaking it.
Elder Titan: Does anyone actually play this guy?
Ember Spirit: You like the idea of juggernaut but you feel like he needs more battlefuries.
Enchantress: You like those old disney movies where the princesses communed with animals, but you feel like they need a dash of murderous intent.
Faceless Void: You miss 2013.
Gyrocopter: You feel like Eisenhower had some good ideas.
Huskar: You love fun and hate everyone.
Invoker: You hate Icefrog with a burning passion.
Io: You love communication and hate pubs.
Jakiro: You've purchased no fewer than 4 bad dragon toys.
Juggernaut: You like the concepts behind Ember Spirit but you wish he was worse and easier to play.
Keeper of the Light: You ask for a senior discount every time you enter the side shop and then forget why you went there in the first place.
Kunkka: You want to fuck a boat, sexually.
Legion Commander: You want to crush the enemy team with your increasingly powerful thighs.
Leshrac: You're a bastard who knows what's up.
Lich: You're living the support lyfe and loving it.
Lifestealer: Unbirthing fetishist.
Lone Druid: You like bears and small amounts of micro. Micro micro.
Luna: You have a 45% win rate.
Lycan: You watched that "Wolves Need No Armor" video.
Magnus: You hate mana and try to have as little as possible.
Medusa: You hate fun and refuse to have any.
Meepo: You love fun and hope the enemy team doesn't ward the jungles this game.
Meepo: You love fun and hope the enemy team doesn't ward the jungles this game.
Meepo: You love fun and hope the enemy team doesn't ward the jungles this game.
Meepo: You love fun and hope the enemy team doesn't ward the jungles this game.
Meepo: You love fun and hope the enemy team doesn't ward the jungles this game.
Mirana: Rethink your life choices.
Morphling: You're bad at morphling but you don't realize it.
Naga Siren: You have bad taste in heroes.
Nature's Prophet: You love money and pushing.
Necrophos: You're a bastard.
Night Stalker: You spend a lot of time thinking about 2012.
Nyx Assassin: NYXXX NYXNYXNYXNYXNXYNXNYX
Ogre Magi: You imitate the voice(s) of whatever hero you're currently playing.
Omniknight: You really, really miss Warcraft DOTA.
Oracle: You love Street Fighter.
Outworld Devourer: I honestly don't think OD is anyone's favorite.
Phantom Assassin: You're horrible at carrying, but you still want to carry.
Phantom Lancer: You have a few body doubles in real life, just in case.
Phoenix: You're a fucking bird.
Puck: You insist Puck is "cute".
Pudge: Reading this post is making you hungry.
Pugna: You are passionate about skeletons and The Succ.
Queen of Pain: You insist "mid" is a role just like carry or support.
Razor: "Stop hitting yourself" is your favorite game.
Riki: Your hobbies include squatting and drinking.
Rubick: You have no personality, you just regurgitate what everyone around you is saying.
Sand King: [sandstorm joke]
Shadow Demon: You like shadows and poison.
Shadow Fiend: You like shadows and mid.
Shadow Shaman: You like shadows and pushing.
Skywrath Mage: You're a bird.
Slardar: You like the way centaur's blink-stun works but you feel like his natural survivability makes the game too easy.
Slark: You hate the enemy team and you will do everything in your power to ruin their lives. Also, you like to run away a lot.
Spectre: You can play most carries effectively but you like a challenge. Or maybe just hour long games. It's unclear.
Spirit Breaker: You're a cow, and you're PISSED.
Storm Spirit: You don't like fun as a concept.
Sven: You're considering starting an IRL sword collection to complement your 73 Sven swords.
Techies: You love to have fun.
Templar Assassin: Fuck fun and fuck everyone who's ever had it.
Terrorblade: You're in denial.
Tidehunter: You love initiating and splashing in bathwater.
Timbersaw: You love mobile heroes and hate trees.
Tinker: You just sort of hate everything, all the time. Except you, pushing-kun....
Tiny: Your buddy picks techies a lot and throwing him into someone is TOTALLY hilarious.
Treant Protector: You're either a great team player or you think rushing aghs and farming both jungles every minute or so is hilarious.
Troll Warlord: You like to have fun but not too much at once.
Tusk: You consider TI5 the greatest thing to ever happen to you.
Undying: You like snowballing heroes but fear smart players.
Vengeful Spirit: Again, I don't think this is anyone's favorite hero.
Venomancer: You like to reminisce about being a banana slug.
Viper: You're not good at dota but you're not going to let that stop you from ruining someone's day.
Visage: You like bursts of micro and weird birds.
Warlock: You're a good player.
Weaver: You love bugs and hate being squished.
Windrunner: You envy drow ranger and want to be her.
Winter Wyvern: See Jakiro.
Witch Doctor: Glimmer Cape's introduction was a life-changing experience for you.
Wraith King: You're still bitter about the name change.
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