Your Personal Steward, Smethells

Here to answer any questions you may have.

[ask-smethells]

Hello, and welcome aboard. I am Smethells, your personal steward.

Please direct any and all questions you may have to the box above.

Do be respectful to other passenger, including those of a younger age, and enjoy your stay.

[blue-pikmin-gaming]

anyway who up meowin amirite

[ask-smethells]

So true, little blue creature.

[ask-smethells]

Would you mind tucking me into bed, my good sir~? I wish to be cozy~ — @realtewi

Ah, of course madame. Would you care for a choccy milk and a cookie, perhaps a cup of tea beforehand? I can ring the maids.

[ask-smethells]

Very important question, Smethells. What would YOU 🫵 do for a klondike bar?

A klondike bar, sir? Why, I would pay the marked price of course... as far as you are aware.

What are you, the master at arms?

[ask-smethells]

Smethells, my dear man, I believe that some towels are required in the cargo hold. It seems a young couple absconded into one of the cars being transported down there for a little hanky-panky and… well, lets just say the steamy handprint on the windshield is not the only mess they left behind

Of course, youths.

I told the purser bringing this automobile aboard would bring nothing but trouble, and now he and the crewmen in charge of guarding the hold will be held responsible for any damages.

I will speak to the maids right away and get that taken care of right away.

[ask-smethells]

Smethells, do you have any particular feelings on vampires?

Vampires?

Sir, what would I, John Smethells, steward aboard the RMS Titanic, know about such blood drinking demons?

Do you suspect something of me and expect to catch me in some way with this query? Have I given you some inkling that I may be... no, of course not. That would be preposterous.

I have... no particular feelings on such creatures.

[daincrediblegg]

Hey pspsps y’all should all go head over to @ask-smethells and ask something of our favorite titanic steward!

[ask-smethells]

Thank you for bringing awareness to the other pasengers, madam. I certainly did not have enough to do tonight.

[ask-smethells]

Smethells, how does one “dougie”? And can you teach me how?

Dougie you say? Hmmm....

It seems I have very little knowledge on the subject. Perhaps check with the Purser if you are looking for another passenger by that name.

Or mayhaps there is a radio broadcast of some kind that may be able to assist you with this task? I apologize for being able to do so myself, and will endeavor to learn more on this topic in the future.

[ask-smethells]

Hey Smethells have you heard about the girl from first class having a torrid affair with a boy from the lower decks? The SCANDAL!

Sir or madam, perhaps a touch less gin and a great deal more of minding your own business. What Miss DeWitt Bukater does with her time aboard is no conern of yours or mine.

May I suggest instead a lap about the promenade? Or perhaps a dip in the pool to keep you occupied?

Alas, if you insist in gossiping, I recommend keeping it between the ladies at tea as to not disturb the other guests.