Ask a Minecraft Sheep

[askasheep]

wut

I don't think you understand our gender. There are no male sheep, or male cows, or male pigs, or male chickens.

We reproduce telepathically (Chickens are the only animals to be fertilized by creepers, a process sometimes fatal.)

Baby sheep grow by absorbing the energy of the universe over time.

We do not need breasts.

[askasheep]

We sheep do not condone drug use of any kind.

[askasheep]

Indeed.

[askasheep]

This payment seems to be adequate. Allow me to recall my tale.

Following a day ending with stomach full, I quickly fell asleep in the warmth of my wool.

Blackness was all around me; what sorcery is this? I do not feel asleep; there is something I missed.

Walked, I did, and it is seemed I would forever, until I came upon a door.

Stenciled above it, wood clearly read, "Ask a Sheep." Where would I be led?

The path did end; the close was absolute. "Goodbye!" I bleated, giving a salute.

Alas! Brightness was sudden; although, I could make out a squid. I was going to ask many questions to answer my thoughts, but it replied, as quick as a fox, saying:

[askasheep]

You seem confused. I present to thee: A method of determining the species of animal in question:

[askasheep]

Only sheep have attributed this obscene abnormality.

Are these victims a threat?

YOU TELL ME, HUMAN.

[askasheep]

[askasheep]

PSA: Flying Sheep

As of April 1st there have been some rumors of various flying sheep in the area.

Some people have suggested that there are connections with the weak stomachs of sheep and golden apples, but these have been dismissed.

No sheep should attempt to fly without the aid of a squid.

If you spot any flying sheep please alert a local Guardian Sheep so that they can be rescued.

All patrons have been advised to NOT update to Minecraft 2.0.

I repeat: Sheep cannot fly without the aid of squids. Please stay calm while we wait for this anomaly to pass.

[askasheep]

"Yes."

- Pope Sheepicus IV

Also...

Your misuse of Noun-Antecedent agreement makes Sheepspeare angry.

[askasheep]

Distant cousins.

[askasheep]

It was rather warm.

And loud.

Very loud. The pigmen were nice, though.

[askasheep]

We attempted to communicate with these aquatic beings.

We were not very successful.

[askasheep]

Valentines day? What day is it?!

...

I am sincerely apologetic for my absence, but I had found it difficult to approach my computer.

These creepers were upset to learn why their friend fell off a cliff.

[askasheep]

Are you the doctor?

[askasheep]

[askasheep]

I am sorry, I cannot eat these.

I can, however, transfigure them into a stylish outfit.

[askasheep]

We have not yet learned a way to decompile information.

And no, we did not buy a WinRAR license. No one does that.