It would be funny if we both got it wrong

An ask blog for the ineffable husbands. [ ASK BLOG CLOSED ]

[askaziraphaleandcrowley]

Hello all!

Sorry I’ve been quiet for a bit - it actually took me until now to get access to Amazon Prime so I’ve only just watched Season 2. I absolutely ADORED it, maybe more than Season 1 honestly, and am about to go in for an immediate rewatch I think!

Anyway, as most of you know, I unfortunately became ill at the beginning of last year and from then on haven’t been able to actually post to this blog - don’t get covid guys, long covid sucks. I can manage symptoms now but it’s a long-term maybe permanent thing so I probably won’t get ‘better’ and having now watched Season 2 I’m actually really happy to leave this blog where it is honestly.

Spoilers for Season 2 in this paragraph, but my favourite part about this blog was the will they won’t they hidden feelings slow burn vibes, and now that all of that has come to a head in Season 2, it actually feels like a really apt place to finish the part of the story that I was writing here anyway. It wouldn’t make sense to continue that slow burn now, but I also like the dramatic separation we have of the two of them now as well so honestly it just feels perfect to sign off my part of the story here.

Thanks to everyone who’s read along, I hope you’ve enjoyed it, and I’ll obviously leave the blog up for people to read back through. I might still reblog some ‘best of’ things, and maybe pin a message with the ‘event’ tags and the context around those so new people can read through them too. I always read your tags and replies so please do keep writing those, and feel free to tag me in things or drop in my DMs if you want to chat Good Omens.

Love you all, and thanks for an amazing run ❤️

[askaziraphaleandcrowley]

I once asked my English teacher some philosophical question during class. And then another one. And another one. She said I could ask them as long as I could come up with them, thinking I'd run out of questions soon.

I managed to thwart the entire class time and she ended up forbidding me to ever ask philosophical questions in her class ever again. My class applauded me, actually.

What do you think about that?

Crowley: You irritated a working professional and interrupted a whole class. I’d say that sounds pretty demonic to me.

Aziraphale: I suppose as asking questions is a form of learning and your teacher did say that you could ask them then really nothing wrong was done here. Although I do feel sorry for your teacher and your classmates as well for the interruption to the learning schedule. Hopefully they learned something else from this experience anyway so all was not lost.

Crowley: Like don’t let this kid ask questions again.

[askaziraphaleandcrowley]

Is there really a lake of fire in Hell?

Crowley: Yeah, it started off as a leak in one if the bathrooms and no-one really dealt with it so it’s just a whole lake now.

Aziraphale: Are your maintenance team not very efficient in Hell?

Crowley: Well their job is more to cause problems than to fix them so arguably they’re great at that.

[askaziraphaleandcrowley]

Crowley what if your birthday was june 6th 1966 though, that'd be funny

Crowley: Technically that would be four sixes not three so that has no meaning at all. If you’d said 6 AD then sure but I’m guessing you were thinking of a fake birthday for a human ID card or something, in which case they’re unlikely to believe that I’m two thousand and fifteen years old. Although I don’t exactly think this form looks fifty-five either.

Aziraphale: I put my birthday on the human documentation as the day that I opened my shop =).

Crowley: Well that’s irritatingly cute of you, isn’t it?

[askaziraphaleandcrowley]

How did Crowley know that Aziraphale was having trouble with the Nazis and where they were meeting?

Crowley: I’m not just going to divulge all of my secrets to strangers on the internet.

Aziraphale: Was it because you could sense my angelic presence there?

Crowley: I just said I’m not telling.

Aziraphale: Or was it because you’d been following me beforehand?

Crowley: I have better things to do than stalk you, you know.

Aziraphale: Hmm, so you refused to answer the first one, but you denied the second one. So that means...

Crowley: Stop reading those psychology books!

[askaziraphaleandcrowley]

Aziraphale, can you please tell us about a time you used reverse psychology on Crowley and it actually worked?

Aziraphale: Ah, well dear friend, I would, but I don’t think that would be a very good thing to talk about in front of him.

Crowley: Because it’s never happened, that’s why. I wouldn’t fall for that.

Aziraphale: No... It’s because it did work and I don’t want you to change your behaviour back again.

Crowley: Change my be- What are you talking about, angel?

Aziraphale: Nothing, dear. As you say, such lowly tactics would never work on a clever being such as yourself.

Crowley: ... Angel, tell me, what did you do?!

[askaziraphaleandcrowley]

Crowley doesn’t like any musicals?? What about gothic ones that end unhappily, like Sweeney Todd or Jekyll & Hyde? And he said he preferred Shakespeare’s funny plays so why wouldn’t he enjoy musical comedies?

Crowley: You seem to be missing the one thing that all of those have in common.

Aziraphale: What’s that, dear?

Crowley: ... Music.

Aziraphale: But you like music, don’t you? You’re always playing that monarch in your car.

Crowley: Yeah but that’s where music should be. In a car on a journey, not in the middle of a story for no reason. Humans don’t just burst into song like that.

Aziraphale: Ahhh so it’s about the realism aspect. I’m sure I can find you one that fits that criteria. Or perhaps I can start responding to you in song sometimes so that that sort of thing starts to feel more normal for you.

Crowley: No, don’t do that.

[askaziraphaleandcrowley]

Hey Aziraphale, did you find an appropriate four-letter word to describe Crowley in your thesaurus? :)

Aziraphale: I have tried a few variations recently but he hasn’t seemed to like most of them.

Crowley: That’s not true, I liked ‘fiend’.

Aziraphale: That was neither a term of endearment, nor is it four letters long. I called you that when you miracled my coffee to be cold so that I spit it out on the book that I was reading.

Crowley: And I appreciated your response. So let’s focus on five letter words and stick ‘fiend’ at the top of that list of options.

[askaziraphaleandcrowley]

Crowley, I’m very concerned for you. If you keep being hurtful and unkind to others, Santa Claus won’t bring you any toys and instead there’ll be a lump of coal in your stocking. You don’t wanna be the only one without a present at Christmas, do you?

Crowley: You realise he’s a Saint, right? Saint Nicholas? So whatever he gave me would probably burn me. Coal’s probably the most appropriate gift there then.

Aziraphale: Oh, do you get burned by gifts from Saints then?

Crowley: Well I don’t know but I’d assume so. They’re pretty holy, aren’t they?

Aziraphale: What about things that a Saint had once owned? I think we could find something like that to test our theory.

Crowley: Wait, what theory? What test? We’re not testing this!

[blazenfire223]

An old wip comic that I finally got around to finishing based off an interaction on @askaziraphaleandcrowley :>

ID below:

[ID 1/10: A Tumblr ask blog called ask aziraphale and crowley. An anon says "*raises glass* To the world!"

[ID 2/10: Crowley sitting at a Ritz table covered with plates or food and a wine bottle. His right finger is tapping his wine glass. His face is leaning on his other hand and he is visibility grumpy even with his glasses on. "That's our thing." He says.

[ID 3/10: It pans ro Aziraphale who is sitting on the other side or the table, wine glass in hand and more plates of food surrounding him. "We can share it, dear," Aziraphale says.

[ID 4/10: It shifts back to Crowley who is looking even more grumpy and hand his arms crossed on the table. "No, we can't," Crowley says.

[ID 5/10: "Of course we can!" Aziraphale says, a smile on his face.

[ID 6/10: Crowley snatches his wine glass, still grumpy. "Well, I don't want to."

[ID 7/10: Aziraphale smiles, tipping his glass up to the sky to call a toast. "Very well, I shall toast them myself then."

[ID 8/10: It pans out to show them both sitting at the table. Crowley has gotten up to grab Aziraphale's hand and his chair moved backward at the force of it. Aziraphale looks shocked. "No, don't do that!" Crowley yells.

[ID 9/10: A close up of Aziraphale again and both he and Crowley has retracted their hands. "Why not?" Aziraphale asks, confused.

[ID 10/10: A close up of Crowley, he fell back in his chair and curled up, crossing his arms. "Because then it's not 'Our' thing anymore." /End ID]

[askaziraphaleandcrowley]

Mister Anthony J. Crowley, dare I say that you are very gender

Thank you

You look absolutely beautiful too, Aziraphale. Tartan absolutely suits you.

Crowley: … Thank you?

Aziraphale: Do you suppose that might have been a typo? What could they have meant other than gender? Gentle, perhaps? Oh, and thank you for the compliment, dear anonymous friend.

Crowley: No, I think that was probably intentional. Humans are weird.

Aziraphale: Oh. Do they mean it in a nice way, do you think?

Crowley: Well I got thanked for it so probably.

[askaziraphaleandcrowley]

When that church blew up, who made sure the unguarded holy water wouldn't spill in the explosion and accidentally hurt Crowley?

Crowley: … I hadn’t actually thought of that.

Aziraphale: It was very easy to keep general debris from hitting us with a little simple Miracle. I ensured nothing made any sort of contact with either of us with barely a thought, liquids included.

Crowley: Oh… you did that then… thanks, I guess.

Aziraphale: No need for thanks, my dear. You would have done the same for me.

[askaziraphaleandcrowley]

In your documentary, you said you knew what Aziraphale smelt like Crowley. Soo..what does he smell like?

Crowley: You know that mould that grows in books? That.

Aziraphale: You think I smell mouldy? =(

Crowley: Not in a bad way. People like the smell of books, right?

Aziraphale: But you didn’t say I smell like books. You said I smell like mould =(.

Crowley: It’s the mould that makes the books smell like that! Don’t pull that face, angel. Stop it. You like books, it’s a compliment!

Aziraphale: It didn’t sound like a compliment =(.

Crowley: Oh don’t do this. Don’t pout like that. No, don’t do the sad stare at the floor, I know your angelic tricks, it won’t work. I’m not apologising.

Aziraphale: =(

Crowley: This is actually unfair. I hope you get people writing in to chastise you for this like I always do. In facf, readers, settle this for us. Tell him to cheer up and that I didn’t say anything bad, alright?

[askaziraphaleandcrowley]

Which one of you is older? Or were you both created at the same time?

Aziraphale: Oh, that’s a good question. I’ve never really thought about it actually. I believe the Almighty made all of the angels at the same moment, so we would both be the same age?

Crowley: Sort of. She made us in batches. I was one batch before you. You were the last lot.

Aziraphale: Oh really? I never knew that! How interesting!

Crowley: I’m sure no-one else here is surprised to learn that you’re the baby of the group.

[askaziraphaleandcrowley]

It's so unfair that Aziraphale can use his puppy face to get whatever he wants from you, Crowley! Have you ever tried to give him a taste of his own medicine?

Crowley: I don’t do ‘puppy’. But I’m a demon, I can be manipulative when I want to be. Do you know how difficult it was to convince him to start doing The Arrangement in the first place? That’s a far more impressive feat than the angel just making me drop an argument every now and again.

Aziraphale: But the Arrangement benefited both of us.

Crowley: Yeah, but I still talked you into it.

Aziraphale: Oh, I know. But getting you to drop an argument really only benefits me, not you, doesn’t it?

Crowley: … Yeah?

Aziraphale: So perhaps I am the master manipulator of the two of us.

Crowley: …

[askaziraphaleandcrowley]

I’ve tried yelling at my plants to GROOOW BETTAAAHH and it doesn’t seem to be working. Any ideas?

Crowley: It’s not about the yell itself, it’s about instilling fear in them. You’re better off making an example of the weaker ones than just shouting empty words. That’ll scare them into obedience.

Aziraphale: Well my plants raised on kindness are doing just dandy too, so I still think that’s just as viable of a method.

Crowley: That’s surprising actually considering I’m fairly sure I saw you sharing tea with them the other day.

Aziraphale: Oh just the water, and I let it get cold before serving it to them of course.

Crowley: Right... Because that makes it normal.

[askaziraphaleandcrowley]

The dictionary defines “dear” as “a sweet and endearing person.” So how come Crowley is okay with being called that but not okay with being called sweet or nice?

Crowley: It also describes “deer” as a hoofed grazing animal, so maybe it’s actually that that he means.

Aziraphale: I can assure you dear, I am not referring to you as an antlered animal.

Crowley: Alright, but words are adaptable, so you’re also not trying to call me sweet and endearing every time, are you?

Aziraphale: ...

Crowley: ... Are you?