I collect money and bitches

Clavicus Vile is the Daedric prince whose sphere is the granting of power and wishes through ritual invocations and pact.

[askclavvy]

Neeeeeeeerd.

What a juvenile insult. That just amuses me. Hahaha. 

[On the outside, hes laughing, but on the inside, he's crying.]

[askclavvy]

Why aren't my shrines completely covered in gifts? I deserve them, after all. 

[askclavvy]

Ah, Clavicus. Pray tell what trouble you've gotten into this time.

Trouble? I don’t get into trouble. I sometimes have happy accidents, but I never get into trouble. 

[ask-yffre]

Of course. And my Bosmer aren’t cannibals.

Where’s Barbas, isn’t he supposed to be babysitting?

[askclavvy]

If you're going to be an annoyance, then I'll kill all your precious Bosmer. I will, I promise you. With a snap of my fingers, they will all be gone.

[He grumbles at Y'ffre's mention of Barbas] Barbas is busy. I'm leaving it at that. 

[askclavvy]

Ah, Clavicus. Pray tell what trouble you've gotten into this time.

Trouble? I don't get into trouble. I sometimes have happy accidents, but I never get into trouble. 

[askhircine]

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

SO MUCH.

[He hugs Clavicus SO MUCH]

[askclavvy]

[He tries squirming away to no avail]

No! Don't hug me, you fuck! You smell like you've been fucking rolling in dead animal. 

[askhircine]

CLAVICUS IS MY BROTHER DON’T BE MEAN TO HIM EVEN THOUGH HE’S A SHITFUCKLER HALF THE TIME.

[askclavvy]

You don't need to defend me. Seriously, you don't. Just stop, it is really embarrassing. 

[not-the-incarnate]

You dare speak such slander of the Anticipations of blessed ALMSIVI? I do believe we have nothing to talk about. Begone, Daedra.

[askclavvy]

You cannot tell a Daedric Prince, especially one as powerful as I, to just leave. It is rude. I know my siblings better than you would, you know. Perhaps I shall tell you of their misdeeds. Then you shall see they are not as great as me. 

[not-the-incarnate]

And why should I trust you? You’re not one of the Aniticipations.

[askclavvy]

You shouldn't trust the Anticipations at all. They're all filthy liars. Azura being the worst of the lot. I don't deal in lies. Lies are bad business. I merely grant mortals the chance to better their lives in return for things.

[not-the-incarnate]

askclavvy started following you

Hm? What do you want, Daedra? I’m not one of your followers.

[askclavvy]

Now now, I wouldn't act so rude if I were you. Do you think I only talk to my followers? That's funny if you do. I don't need to talk to my followers at all, for they've already made their bargains.

However, you have not. And I am always interested in bettering the lives of mortals. I am the most selfless Daedric Prince, after all. 

[askclavvy]

Mortals can be so cute sometimes, thinking that they are actually important in the grand scheme of things. 

[askclavvy]

Hey stupid, fuck, marry, kill? All our siblings, answer it as quick as you can. Go go go.

Ugh.

Fuck: No one

Kill: Most of you

Marry: Hircine????? 

[askclavvy]

YOU GUYS ARE FUCKING DICKS. 

[askclavvy]

Why can't we talk to you about Sheogorath?

Oh gee, I don't know. Maybe it is the attempted assassinations, or perhaps it is the fact he tried to get me mantled. Who knows? 

[ayrenn-archive]

who wants to marry me???????

[askclavvy]

Me.

[askclavvy]

ask-sanguine replied to your post: ask-sanguine replied to your post: DON’T CHANGE...

Shouldn’t you be crying to your dog right about now?

Now why in Oblivion would I do that? 

[askclavvy]

ask-sanguine replied to your post: DON’T CHANGE WHAT I SAID YOU BASTARDS. 

Shut up you baby.

No, you shut up. 

[askclavvy]

DON'T CHANGE WHAT I SAID YOU BASTARDS.