2orry for endiing the world.

hey 2o. a2k me 2tuff ii gue22? ii'll get around two an2weriing when ii have the tiime, whiich i2 ba2iically alway2 2o yeah iit'2 not a biig deal. THIS BLOG IS ON INDEFINITE HIATUS!

[askthearchiivedmage]

-- advancingArmageddons's [AA'S] crosbytop's battery has died. --

[askthearchiivedmage]

AA: ii wa2 goiing two re2pond, but on 2econd thought ii thiink ii'll waiit untiil ii get another 2iix me22age2 from you. AA: iit 2houldn't take two long.

[askthearchiivedmage]

AA: what doe2 a heart player even do? AA: achiieve ma2tery over your iinnermo2t feeliing2 iin order two become a better per2on, and 2omehow wiin the game that way? AA: holy 2hiit that 2ounded 2tupiid. AA: forget ii even 2aiid anythiing. AA: the poiint ii2 that even iif you weren’t ju2t fuckiing wiith me about the hacker-aii thiing, ii’m not really iintere2ted iin 2ome 2ort of competiitiion two 2ee who can wriite the mo2t leetfiilthy code2. AA: liike on 2ome level that 2ound2 awe2ome. AA: man v2 machiine. AA: wiinner prove2 theiir 2upremacy a2 the one true ma2ter of computer bull2hiit forever. AA: but ii haven’t actually giiven much of a crap about codiing for kiind of a long tiime? AA: that’2 kiind of an old hobby that ii haven’t devoted much tiime two recently at all. AA: 2o 2orry two dii2appoiint you, ii gue22, but ii’m really ju2t not iintere2ted iin giiviing you or your pangrub anythiing even re2embliing a viirtual 2mackdown riight now. AA: or ever, probably.

[asktimaeustherapist]

TT: Actually, that is more or less precisely what a Heart player does. TT: That, and manipulate the innermost feelings of others to allow them to become better people, so that the game can hypothetically be won manifold faster. TT: Sometimes I do wonder what crimes I ever committed in my foregone lives to be assigned such an aspect. TT: The speculation is usually short-lived, though, thankfully.

TT: As for your lack of desire to take up my offer, I understand your aversion to dredging up the past. TT: In any case, such a rejection is probably as near to politeness as I will ever receive from you, so thank you for the consideration.

TT: Would I be pushing my luck too far if I were to ask how you’ve been occupying yourself recently, if you have since abandoned your old pursuits? TT: The life of a Time player can be a demanding one, I’m aware. TT: I do have memories of being one.

[askthearchiivedmage]

AA: not even goiing two a2k how you  have memoriie2 of beiing a tiime player. AA: there'2 defiiniitely more 2eer riiddle bull2hiit iinvolved iin the an2wer and ii get enough of that from tz. AA: the 2hort 2tory about my pre2ent hobbiie2 ii2 that ii ba2iically don't have any. AA: the long 2tory ii2 OOP2 401 error look2 liike that2 none of your bu2iine22. AA: riight now ii'm ju2t 2tuck on thii2 meteor waiitiing two diie liike everyone el2e. AA: you can thank paradox 2pace for orche2tratiing that 2cenariio, 2iince that'2 the only rea2on ii'm even talkiing two you. AA: becau2e ii have liiterally nothiing better two do.

[askthearchiivedmage]

AA: wow. AA: thank you for ba2iically equatiing me two a nonliiviing, bodiile22 entiity iincapable of formiing meaniingful relatiion2hiip2 wiith liiviing beiing2. AA: your abiiliity two naviigate conver2atiion2 ii2 amaziing, the human2 2hould put you iin charge of iinter2peciie2 communiicatiion2. AA: maybe ii’m fuckiing iincrediible at talkiing two aliien2 when they have thiing2 of actual iintere2t two 2ay. AA: maybe ii’ll 2triike up a conver2atiion wiith the prank loviing 2iimpleton that kk hate2 tomorrow ju2t two throw you for a loop, and we’ll become be2t fuckiing friiend2. AA: ii probably won’t, but iit ii2n’t for the 2tupiid rea2on you ju2t 2aiid. AA: you don’t know me. AA: and two be hone2t, ii could get by wiithout haviing judgement2 liike that thrown iin my face by people who don’t know what they’re talkiing about.

[asktimaeustherapist]

TT: You’ve severely underestimated humanity as a species, it would seem. TT: Either that, or Alternian technology somehow never developed in that direction. TT: For some reason, the former conclusion seems more likely to my mind. TT: Incapable of forming meaningful relationships with living beings?

TT: As a Heart player, I like to believe that I’ll know what I’m talking about when I choose to politely disagree with you on that front. TT: Feel free to correct me with more ill-humored rhetoric.

[askthearchiivedmage]

AA: what doe2 a heart player even do? AA: achiieve ma2tery over your iinnermo2t feeliing2 iin order two become a better per2on, and 2omehow wiin the game that way? AA: holy 2hiit that 2ounded 2tupiid. AA: forget ii even 2aiid anythiing. AA: the poiint ii2 that even iif you weren't ju2t fuckiing wiith me about the hacker-aii thiing, ii'm not really iintere2ted iin 2ome 2ort of competiitiion two 2ee who can wriite the mo2t leetfiilthy code2. AA: liike on 2ome level that 2ound2 awe2ome. AA: man v2 machiine. AA: wiinner prove2 theiir 2upremacy a2 the one true ma2ter of computer bull2hiit forever. AA: but ii haven't actually giiven much of a crap about codiing for kiind of a long tiime? AA: that'2 kiind of an old hobby that ii haven't devoted much tiime two recently at all. AA: 2o 2orry two dii2appoiint you, ii gue22, but ii'm really ju2t not iintere2ted iin giiviing you or your pangrub anythiing even re2embliing a viirtual 2mackdown riight now. AA: or ever, probably.

[askthearchiivedmage]

AA: oh, dii2iingenuou2 wordplay! AA: iin that ca2e, 2end a2 many obnoxiiou2 riidle2 a2 your pulpy human 2ponge can mu2ter. AA: my exii2tence ii2 2orely lackiing iin iindiiviidual2 wiilliing to iindulge my iin2atiiable de2iire for 2elf-torment.

[asktimaeustherapist]

TT: She’s an artificial intelligence. TT: Perhaps you relate better to such specimens than living, breathing aliens?

[askthearchiivedmage]

AA: wow. AA: thank you for ba2iically equatiing me two a nonliiviing, bodiile22 entiity iincapable of formiing meaniingful relatiion2hiip2 wiith liiviing beiing2. AA: your abiiliity two naviigate conver2atiion2 ii2 amaziing, the human2 2hould put you iin charge of iinter2peciie2 communiicatiion2. AA: maybe ii'm fuckiing iincrediible at talkiing two aliien2 when they have thiing2 of actual iintere2t two 2ay. AA: maybe ii'll 2triike up a conver2atiion wiith the prank loviing 2iimpleton that kk hate2 tomorrow ju2t two throw you for a loop, and we'll become be2t fuckiing friiend2. AA: ii probably won't, but iit ii2n't for the 2tupiid rea2on you ju2t 2aiid. AA: you don't know me. AA: and two be hone2t, ii could get by wiithout haviing judgement2 liike that thrown iin my face by people who don't know what they're talkiing about.

[askthearchiivedmage]

TT: So, Mr the-computer-is-my-life reclusive electronics genius Megido. TT: Are you ever amenable to challengers to your vaunted position as the king of computer sabotage, when you aren't too busy doing what mysterious and indubitably cool things you spend your days doing? TT: I need to sharpen my skills somehow.

AA: man, iif you’re lookiing for 2ome way two practiice your codiing, ii could thiink of le22-dii2graceful way2 two do iit than gettiing owned iin a competiitiion agaiin2t a 2uper tech-2avvy aliien.

AA: you’re ju2t 2ettiing your2elf up for faiilure and ii wiill not be held re2pon2iible when 2ome whiite, hornle22 aliien ha2 a meltdown becau2e ii 2erved them a piipiing hot nutriitiion plateau of theiir own a22.

AA: makiing 2tupiid aliien2 cry ii2n’t my thiing, ii have made thii2 abundantly clear.

AA: ii don’t  have the energy or the iintere2t iin wa2tiing my tiime moppiing the floor wiith technologiically-iimpaiired wiiggler2.

AA: tl;dr not iintere2ted, 2o go peddle your 2ad human code2 el2ewhere.

[asktimaeustherapist]

TT: That was more or less the response I anticipated, to be perfectly frank.

TT: And again, to be perfectly frank: TT: The challenger I was referring to wasn’t me. TT: Nor was I speaking of my programming skills when I alluded to the perfectly relevant desire to sharpen my technique. TT: Please read carefully next time, Mr Megido.

[askthearchiivedmage]

AA: oh, dii2iingenuou2 wordplay! AA: iin that ca2e, 2end a2 many obnoxiiou2 riidle2 a2 your pulpy human 2ponge can mu2ter. AA: my exii2tence ii2 2orely lackiing iin iindiiviidual2 wiilliing to iindulge my iin2atiiable de2iire for 2elf-torment.

[askthearchiivedmage]

AA: yeah no 2hiit tz that2 not exactly new2. AA: but ii gue22 you mean we haven’t talked for a whiile. AA: 2o yeah, 2orry about that. AA: game 2tuff wa2 keepiing me bu2y you know how iit ii2.

[som3th1ngf1shy]

CC: H3H3H3, M4YB3 W3 SHOULD SCH3DUL3 4 G3T TOG3TH3R OF TH3 T34M.

CC: S34 WH4T K1ND OF BULLSH1T W3 C4N C4US3 W1TH 3V3RYON3 1N TH3 S4M3 ROOM.

[askthearchiivedmage]

AA: that 2ound2 liike a huge wa2te of tiime that probably won't happen but who know2. AA: maybe once the black kiing ii2 dead we'll all meet up for a giiant a22hole party two celebrate our temporary viictory. AA: bu2t out 2ome 2hiity confettii bur2ter2 and make 2uch an ab2urd 2pectacle that paradox 2pace wiill be 2hocked iintwo actually lettiing u2 claiim the ultiimate reward, thereby doomiing everyone two an off2hoot tiimeliine. AA: at the very lea2t we could go out... AA: wiith a bang. AA:

[som3th1ngf1shy]

CC: H3Y SOLLUX. H4V3N’T S33N YOU 1N 4 WH1L3.

CC: WH4T’S UP? >:]

[askthearchiivedmage]

AA: yeah no 2hiit tz that2 not exactly new2. AA: but ii gue22 you mean we haven't talked for a whiile. AA: 2o yeah, 2orry about that. AA: game 2tuff wa2 keepiing me bu2y you know how iit i2.

[askthearchiivedmage]

TT: So, Mr the-computer-is-my-life reclusive electronics genius Megido. TT: Are you ever amenable to challengers to your vaunted position as the king of computer sabotage, when you aren't too busy doing what mysterious and indubitably cool things you spend your days doing? TT: I need to sharpen my skills somehow.

AA: man, iif you're lookiing for 2ome way two practiice your codiing, ii could thiink of le22-dii2graceful way2 two do iit than gettiing owned iin a competiitiion agaiin2t a 2uper tech-2avvy aliien.

AA: you're ju2t 2ettiing your2elf up for faiilure and ii wiill not be held re2pon2iible when 2ome whiite, hornle22 aliien ha2 a meltdown becau2e ii 2erved them a piipiing hot nutriitiion plateau of theiir own a22.

AA: makiing 2tupiid aliien2 cry ii2n't my thiing, ii have made thii2 abundantly clear.

AA: ii don't  have the energy or the iintere2t iin wa2tiing my tiime moppiing the floor wiith technologiically-iimpaiired wiiggler2.

AA: tl;dr not iintere2ted, 2o go peddle your 2ad human code2 el2ewhere.

[askthearchiivedmage]

Ever seen the Matrix, by any chance?

SOLLUX: diidn’t thii2 que2tiion get a2ked liike half a 2weep ago?

SOLLUX: whatever, ii gue22 2ome of you chucklefuck2 forgot or ju2t weren’t around the fiir2t tiime iit got a2ked.

SOLLUX: yeah ii’ve 2een the matriix.

SOLLUX: a2 human moviie2 go iit wa2n’t two bad.

SOLLUX: the be2t thiing about watchiing iit wa2 probably countiing all the dumb2hiit way2 human2 iinvented hiilariiou2ly terriible 2cii-fii replacement2 for actual biiotech, though.

[askthearchiivedmage]

SOLLUX: alriight, ii kiind of flew off the handle there.

SOLLUX: ii 2aiid 2ome 2tuff that wa2 pretty uncalled for, 2o 2orry about that.

SOLLUX: iif you want two a2k me 2ome more que2tiion2 that would be ok.

SOLLUX: my iinbox ii2 pretty du2ty riight now anyway, iit could u2e a new a2k or two.

SOLLUX: 2o.

SOLLUX: 2end me 2ome a2k2, ii gue22?

[askthearchiivedmage]

Sup dude.

SOLLUX: not much, anon.

SOLLUX: ju2t fiilliing the endle22 hour2 doiing whatever come2 two miind, kiiliing horiible mon2ter2, creatiing a uniiver2e, the u2ual.

SOLLUX: you could even 2ay iim kiilliing tiime iif you wanted two be a 2marta22 and make a joke about iit.

SOLLUX: and two that ii gue22 ii would 2ay fuck you, go pii22 iin 2omeone el2e’2 a2kbox.

SOLLUX: ii don’t need thii2 2hiit from random anon2 out two have a giiggle at my expen2e.

[askthearchiivedmage]

Do you like Doctor Who since you're a Time Player?

SOLLUX: no man, that’2 human televii2iion programmiing.

SOLLUX: ii’ve never watched iit.

SOLLUX: all ii know about doctor who ii2 that iit’2 about thii2 my2teriiou2 tiime travelliing douche who kiilled hii2 entiire race for the good of a uniiver2e.

SOLLUX: waiit, 2hiit.

[askthearchiivedmage]

are you dead?

SOLLUX: holy 2hiit ii2 that ever none of your fuckiing bu2iine22.

SOLLUX: look, that ii2 my own ii22ue that ii have been dealiing wiith for a whiile, and ii would really appreciiate iit iif people could ju2t leave iit alone.

SOLLUX: iit’2 not 2omethiing that ii want two talk about riight now.

[askthearchiivedmage]

Ever try to convince Nitram to build a second set of arms for you so you could code faster?

SOLLUX: uh, no.

SOLLUX: he’d probably make huge 2tupiid mu2clebea2t arm2 or 2omethiing equally awful that no one would ever want near theiir per2on.

SOLLUX: al2o he’d defiiniitely put 2ome kiind of remote control functiion or 2ketchy programmiing iin them and ii’d ju2t have two rework them anyway.

SOLLUX: iin2tead of doiing that 2tupiid thiing you 2ugge2ted, ii just use my p2iioniics2 for multiita2kiing, becau2e ii’m not an iidiiot.

[askthearchiivedmage]

If you could have anyone you wanted in all four of your quadrants, who would you pick for what and why?

SOLLUX: thii2 ii2 one of the weiirder que2tiion2 ii’ve gotten.

SOLLUX: iit’2 ba2iically liike you’re a2kiing me iif ii liike or hate anyone, except you couched iit iin the2e hypothetiical term2 two make iit 2ound liike that’2 not what you were a2kiing.

SOLLUX: all ii’m gonna 2ay ii2 that my quadrant2 are totally empty riight now, and they are probably goiing two 2tay that way for the for2eeable future.

SOLLUX: check iit out, ii ju2t a2ked the 2piiriit2 iif ii’m ever goiing two get any actiion and the an2wer was a re2oundiing no.

SOLLUX: ii gue22 you can 2top a2kiing about iit now.

[askthearchiivedmage]

eridan game how strong

SOLLUX: ok, ii’m gonna an2wer thii2 now 2o ii hopefully won’t have two deal wiith thii2 que2tiion again.

SOLLUX: ii rarely iif ever talk two that prii22y douche. the only tiime ii ever bother wiith hiim ii2 when ii have two keep hiim from fuckiing up the tiimeliine, 2ame a2 anyone el2e.

SOLLUX: hii2 job ii2 two deal wiith the frog2, and kk ii2 helpiing hiim wiith that, 2o that’2 really all there ii2 two 2ay on the matter.