Convoluted Disillusion

[jarroddamn]

[aspen-violet-blog]

So... Decided to join the living. And... Not so living... Have i missed out on anything good, or should i just go back to bed?

[thecoloursplasher]

[oonachaplinsarchive-deactivated]

[valentinathatcher-blog]

You would think there would be a fun button in places like this.

[valentinathatcher-blog]

Maybe I should just tear up some paper and throw it in someone’s face. That’ll certainly make things interesting.

[aspen-violet-blog]

Things would escalate quickly, i wouldn't wanna be around for that. I vote that someone just carries a boombox and blasts music randomly. It could be like a musical for supernaturals or something.

[valentinathatcher-blog]

You would think there would be a fun button in places like this.

And it would just rain confetti every time you pressed it. Would make things a hell of a lot more interesting.

[aspen-violet-blog]

And maybe people could have their own background music when things get intense. No, but seriously. I imagined there would be fun things to do around here.

[sawyer-atwell-blog]

For having so many creatures around

[sawyer-atwell-blog]

That’d be great actually. Are the Glamours witches then?

[aspen-violet-blog]

I'll have them get you. No, from what i've heard they're just humans. But... I think the vampires do something to them? To make them obedient and what not.

[amberlyn-thorne]

I think my brain's going to turn to mush down here

[amberlyn-thorne]

Wow, eyes. You must be one of the witches, I’ve met a few of you. Depends on what book it is, I guess. 

[aspen-violet-blog]

Hey, that's what i said when i looked in the mirror. Have you? Not as bad as the rest of the inhabitants, i hope. Well i've got a small collection. Bradbury, Plath, Fitzgerald, Poe, Emerson and Hemmingway, i think there's more but i haven't unpacked completely.

[painisagod]

I’ll try and think of one, shouldn’t be too difficult.

Why?  To play Merlin?  Sure has; real fun experience.  Don’t recommend it.  Really?  I’d like it.  Why deprive the world of an eternity of this?

[aspen-violet-blog]

... Why am asking for a threat? Jesus, this place is getting to me.

No. Playing Merlin wasn't part of the Aspen Success plan. That was just a way out after things didn't go according to said plan. Of course, wouldn't want the world to miss out on you. Seriously though. Imagine living that long... Sure, you can see everything and do everything, but what's the point? Unless you find another vamp, you're on your own. Can't be much fun.

[sawyer-atwell-blog]

For having so many creatures around

[sawyer-atwell-blog]

Are they going to eat me though?

[aspen-violet-blog]

Nah, they're humans. Just like you. I wouldn't let them eat you, i'm a witch not a bitch. Just don't run off, because then i'll have to get someone to bring you back and... I really doubt it'd be pretty.

[amberlyn-thorne]

I think my brain's going to turn to mush down here

[aspen-violet-blog]

Well that doesn't sound like much fun. I'd offer to lend you a book, but i'm not sure if that would make it less awful.

[sawyer-atwell-blog]

For having so many creatures around

[sawyer-atwell-blog]

I wouldn’t mind getting out of this cell actually. 

[aspen-violet-blog]

Well... I think i can have the Glamours bring you up, if you'd like? I haven't explored the outside much, and you could use some fresh air.

[painisagod]

I said unoriginal threats, that’d completely defeat the purpose.  Everything they use here is crusty, but I guess it comes with being the same age as Mary and Joseph.

Wow…I would’ve had that, I think.  If I was home.  Oh what does she know…I mean…she’s…not the worst, of course, but they really don’t appreciate a good sense of humor here.

[aspen-violet-blog]

C'mon, i'm amusing you. I think i deserve at least one original threat. Mary and Joseph? Some of them could be Adam and Eve's kids. 

Yeah, it was a pretty big deal. But i gave it up. Right... I don't understand how they can rip you out of your life and just not... Give a damn. I take it she's... Uhm- fed off of you..? Well i'd be pretty bitter if i had to live hundreds of years, i'll give them that.

[painisagod]

You really ought to be starting your own multi-corporation somewhere, you’d be really successful.  Sure thing, I’ll start making a list.

- you were too?  How many kids went to your school?  Aw, they’re not so bad, just have to make it out like you’re flirting with them or know when to stop.

[aspen-violet-blog]

That would've been a good idea a couple months ago, actually. Maybe i'll do that someday. At least try putting some original ones in there, yeah? Something that doesn't have the words 'beat your face into a pulp.' because i'm really tired of that threat.

Yeah, full ride scholarship and everything. Hmm, there were 742 kids in our graduating class plus all the other grades... Around 1700? I'm not sure, i kept to myself mostly. Of course, what's not to love about them? I'd rather not piss them off, but i'm a little stubborn according to Alex.

[painisagod]

I think I’d like to hire you to compliment me.  I can pay you in rat feces or unoriginal threats I’ve heard, take your pick.  

God, you make good points.  I’ll just think it to myself so I can feel like a badass.

[aspen-violet-blog]

So now i'm your personal Ego Inflator? I'm a jack of all trades, apparently. That's a toughy... Rat feces or threats. I think i'll take the threats, rat poop isn't really my thing.

Well, y'know, wasn't valedictorian just because of my pretty face. I just gave you another reason to sass, didn't i? Just direct that extra sass at something without fangs. Or claws.

[painisagod]

But what if it doesn’t fit?  I’m trying to look like a dime, not a penny.

It does amuse me.  I amuses me greatly.  You are too kind.

[aspen-violet-blog]

Pretty sure you're already there, my dress would just make it a little more obvious. Fine, you can try it on before just not in the cells, there's no way i'm doing arts and crafts so it can get ruined.

Fine, you're the boss then. Just don't go telling that to a lot of people, or they'll stick me in one of the cells and then who would marry you?

[painisagod]

It practically stains the cells down here, so I’ll manage.

Aw yeah, I like being the boss.

[aspen-violet-blog]

Yeah- how about we hold off on you trying it on until the day of the wedding? If my hard work goes to waste, you will never hear the end of it.

Pft, i have no boss. I'm a freelance wedding planner-minister-doctor-witch. But if it amuses you, sure, you're the boss captain.