Aspie Angles

The daily life of an Aspie girl in a Neurotypical world.

[autisticbroccoli]

Autism 101: Hating Your Autistic Child

Full title and full disclosure: Autism 101: hating your autistic child … and teaching her or him self-loathing. Twice in the past week I’ve seen “I love my child, but I hate autis…

This is a great post explaining the problem with saying you hate the autism, not the person. 

[awn-network]

“This is meant to be an interactive flow chart for people who struggle with self care, executive dysfunction, and/or who have trouble reading internal signals.”

[bbhhhhhhh]

Guides on writing autistic characters

There’s a lot of great advice about writing autistic characters on the internet, and the aim of this post is to link to all of it. If you’ve got something that should be included in this post, please include a link a reblog.

Note to People Thinking of Writing Autistic Characters by Ada Hoffman

How to Write Genuine Autistic Characters by Bard

Writing Autistic Characters: Behaviourizing vs. Humanizing Approaches by Elizabeth Bartmess. The blog this was written for is gold.

On Writing Autistic Characters by ChaoticIdealism

How to Write an Autistic Character by Draggle Ella

Writing characters, not symptoms: A gamer with autism discusses what our hobby gets wrong by Joe Parlock

L. C. Mawson has many great posts about writing autistic characters that discuss words you should know, empathy, and why you shouldn’t write an insufferable genius.

Advice from Loud Enough to Hear

How To Write Autistic Characters ( With Examples From Ruby’s World ) by Neil Kapit

So you want to write an autistic character part 1: Integration dysfunction and what to do about it by Senga

Writing Autistic Characters by Real Social Skills

5 Step Guide On Writing A Character With X Disorder or X Disease by ReferenceForWriters with an autistim-specific appendix by YouNeedACat

Tips for Writing Autistic Characters from SilverSarcasm

Great advice from TAL9000

Writing Aspergers from WriteWorld

Writing reference: things to keep in mind when writing autistic characters by Yehudisha

If you want an example of what not to do, check out this post I wrote about The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time.

[spookihope]

whenever i’m talking to someone and they tell me about something that happened to them i always tell them about something that happened to me that’s similar to what happened to them. i do it as kind of a “oh hey yeah this happened to me so i can relate to what you’re going through” but i’m always afraid it comes out as “oh yeah well this happened to me so clearly i have it tougher than you” or “i’m done talking about you let’s talk about me”

i swear i don’t mean it like that……..

[drabblemeister]

I run into this a lot with my job - so instead of telling the whole story I say something like, “Oh my gosh, I had something REALLY similar happen. What did you do after that??” And I’ve found that works. Usually they explain and then ask, “So what happened to you?” And then you’re invited to share, and the formula for conversing continues on. :)

[baby-andromedan-deactivated2016]

of all the tumblr posts i’ve read, this one is going to change my life the fastest lol.

[fatfeistyandfashionable]

Thanks to both the OP for posting a thing that so many of us do, and the responder who gave us a better way to do it. You’re doing the lord’s work, my friend!

[involuntaryorange]

Fun fact: there isn’t anything wrong with you if you do what OP is describing.

Deborah Tannen’s work focuses on different conversational styles — the sets of behavioral norms and expectations that we bring with us to conversations. In one of her earlier articles, she describes two conflicting conversational styles that exist in the US. 

One, which she (perhaps inaccurately) dubs “New York Jewish conversational style,” is based on the principle of building camaraderie with one’s interlocutor. The other, which she doesn’t really name but which we could call “mainstream American conversational style,” is based on the principle of not imposing on one’s interlocutor.

Each conversational style has its own behavioral norms. Mainstream American conversational style involves things like asking your interlocutor questions about him/herself and waiting until your interlocutor is clearly finished speaking until you say something. These demonstrate a focus on one’s interlocutor and a clear resistance to imposing. NYJ conversational style involves things like conversational overlaps — speaking at the same time as one’s interlocutor — and “swapping stories.” These demonstrate a high level of engagement with one’s interlocutor. Conversationalists using the mainstream American style make space for each other; conversationalists using the New York Jewish style carve out their own space.

Each of these conversational styles works well when the two people conversing have the same style. Imagine two friends meeting for drinks after work:

“Oh, hello! How was your trip here?” “Oh, it was awful. There was so much traffic on the turnpike.” “That’s terrible.” “I know. How was your trip?” “Well, there was an accident on the bridge.” “Oh no! Was there a big backup?” “Yeah, pretty big.”

“Oh, hi!” “Hey! Ugh, sorry I’m late, there was so much traffic on the turnpike—” “Oh my god, I know, there was an accident on the bridge and the cars were backed up a MILE—” “That is the worst, I remember one time I sat in traffic for an HOUR waiting to get through that toll, they really should—” “Add more EZ-pass lanes, right?” “Add more lanes, yeah, exactly.”

Both of these conversations worked: the participants feel that they’ve had their say and that they’ve been understood. They feel connected to their interlocutor.

But when people with conflicting conversational styles converse, that’s where things go wrong. Because we interpret other people’s contributions according to our own conversational style. So the person with mainstream American conversational style comes away thinking “Why did they keep interrupting me? Why didn’t they ask me any questions about me? Why were they so loud and emotional?” And the person with the New York Jewish conversational style comes away thinking “Why were they so disengaged? They didn’t seem involved in the conversation at all. They didn’t even offer any personal information.”

Rather, they would come away thinking that, except that we’re taught growing up that the first example conversation up there is what conversations should look like. So the person with the New York Jewish conversational style actually comes away from the conversation thinking “oh my god, what was I doing? I kept talking about myself. I think I kept interrupting them. I am so rude, god, I’m the worst.” When in fact: a) it’s about cultural difference, not individual moral qualities; and b) one conversational style isn’t inherently “better” than another.

Which isn’t to say that we shouldn’t attempt to bridge the gap between conversational styles, as suggested above. But we should be aware that:

TL;DR: Cultural difference is often mistaken for individual moral failings.

[aspieangles]

I think about the fact that I do this often. This is helpful!

[vaccinepropaganda-deactivated20]

Autistic people are at a higher risk for things like substance abuse, anorexia, and suicide and researchers just want to blame “autistic rigidity” instead of looking at social factors

[p--3a-blog]

you know when harry is told, “you’re a wizard”

and all the mess and the weirdness and the Things Other People Don’t Do and the namecalling and everything, all of a sudden they make sense because he knows this thing about himself which explains it all and it’s not his fault any more, and what’s more, there’s a community of people who have experienced the exact same thing that he can now relate to?

that’s what a correct diagnosis feels like

“don’t label yourself” my arse

[that-borderline-autistic]

Autists are the ultimate square pegs, and the problem with pounding a square peg into a round hole is not that the hammering is hard work. It’s that you’re destroying the peg.

Paul Collins (via muteaspie)

[aspieangles]

*braces self for what will probably be a very offensive lecture on “Anxiety and Mood Disorders”*

[lilacbreastedroller]

one of the least helpful things ive been told as a neurodivergent person is “don’t half ass things”

if you can quarter ass something, do it! if all you can do is clean a corner of your room, or only read one of the two assigned chapters, or write the heading for your resume, or put all the papers for taxes in a pile, do it! if today isn’t a whole ass day, take pride in the portion of ass that you were capable of

don’t let neurotypicals work ethic define how you did today

[andthenweloved]

honestly this info/post is so so so important.

like i have lived in my new appartment for about half a year now and my autistic ass would never have cleaned it even once if i hadn’t allowed myself to halfass my cleaing.

instead of waiting for a day (that would never come) where i would have the energy and executive function to clean all of it, i took it one bit at the time. one day i might vacuum the kitchen. another day i might dust the livingroom.

you don’t have to do it all at once. it’s ok to just do a little bit.

[cursedskull-666]

This particular Autism Drawing is one I have been developing for a while. I started drawing it a few months ago and kept redesigning it for ages, but now Im finally happy with it. 

“NOT A TRAGEDY”

This drawing is a statement against the, unfortunately common, ableist narrative that Autism is some kind of terrible tragedy and that Autistic people should be pitied. 

The drawing is of an Autistic girl who is cheerfully stimming and wearing a red jumper with the Neurodiversity Symbol on it, indicating support for “Autism Acceptance” (and rejecting the ‘Autism Awareness’ Campaign). She is stimming by listening to music, pressure stimming with the weight of the headphones and flapping her hands. Beneath her is a coloured in Neurodiversity Symbol with the words “Not A Tragedy” written inside in capital letters. 

Autism is NOT a tragedy and its LONG overdue for neurotypical people to start understanding that. 

[geekysciencemom]

Credit to Beth Wilson.

[undiagnosedautismfeels]

Is it common for autistic girls to be able to socialize well because they know how to mimic behaviors, but have difficulty breaking response sets? I struggle with this, I've committed a bunch of social transgressions that I'm completely blind to in the moment bc I just think it's okay bc other people seem to normalize it. (I.e. Talking behind someone's back and being blind to restrictions on it, falling into step with others).

I’m probably not the best person to answer this because I’m agender, even though I’m woman-loyal. Followers, what do you have to say about this?

[smackedbottom95]

Hi, I’m a cis female autistic weighing in here - I definitely spent most of my life trying to appear neurotypical by mimicking others’ behaviour. I also struggle when I have to go ‘off script’ and can end up saying/doing the wrong thing as a result. In my autism assessment they said this was more common in afab autistics than amab ones, and it’s certainly been the case for me, although I’ve now pretty much decided I don’t want to/don’t have the spoons to put the effort into convincing people I’m neurotypical or allistic.

[lifeinpoetry]

I came to love myself in defiance, out of despair, because there was nothing else.

Jamaica Kincaid, from The Autobiography of My Mother (via lifeinpoetry)

[windowtoyourworld-blog]

[lizardsdrazils-blog]

It is Autism awareness day , I’m so shocked I have seen nothing on social media about it.

So I thought I’d make a couple of quick Wallpapers showing Neko astume cats supporting Autism awareness month.

I chose sassy Fran to represent the majority of girls that go undiagnosed with Autism spectrum disorders.

I chose Joe DiMeowgio to represent the isolating nature of the condition.

Finally, I chose Señor Don Gato to represent the vital brave minority of people who act as advocates for autism awareness regardless of whether they have it or not.

Whether you are a Neko Atsume fan or not , Please reblogg or share this to raise awareness of Autism Spectrum Disorder and show your support.

Thank you

❤️💙💛

[autisticarchive-deactivated2019]

[Image text: “#autismawareness How would you feel if your parents were raising money to research how to make sure nobody ever has a child like you?”]

[butterflyinthewell]

Lighting it up blue harms autistic people. Ignoring autistic people who say it’s harmful is a willful choice to perpetuate ableism.