How is it our fault for not talking about what’s happening in the world on our blogs? I’m sorry you were scared of the cop but tbh you most likely deserved it.
i had to start this off w some humor bc i knew that this community could not help but to hide behind an anon.
i’ve been sitting on this ask since early in the morning.. if i reached out to you, thank you for trying to help me make sense of my words and thank you for your support.
to whomever this is, i dare you to say it w your fucking chest. my anons are being turned off. say it again. i dare you. come in my inbox. stop fucking hiding behind an anon button. what’s funny is that i know how to track, but you went so far to code your anon that your ip address could not be found. you must have known that i would look it up huh?
nobody, i repeat, nobody has said “it’s your fault” for not talking about what’s happening publicly. what we are saying is your fault, is not actively showing poc that you care about them. the community is about 90% non-poc and 10% poc. it’s disheartening that the people we have spoken to for years haven’t even checked in on us once to see if we’re okay. even yesterday w the posts that we’ve made, sure they reblogged them, they still have not said “hey, i love you. i see your hurting. it’s fucked up what’s happening, but i stand w you. how can i help?” what we are saying is that if you care, if you think my life matters, show it.
and you think that i deserved for that cop to tell me to put my hands up over a traffic violation? is that what you’re telling me?
since you don’t know what happened, here it is. i was driving the speed limit at 12:45am to the airport to pick up @twordtrash. i made sure i was driving the right speed bc i was basically the only car on the interstate at that time of the night and i knew cops would be patrolling. right before the exit to the airport, there was flashing lights. already my heart went cold and the hairs on the back of my neck stood up. i pulled out my license and registration before i completely pulled over bc my parents has taught me to keep my hands visible at all times bc they will shoot. he spoke on the speaker that’s on the cruiser but i couldn’t hear him. you may not know this but i’m actually almost deaf in one ear due to something that happened to me as a kid. bc i could not hear him correctly and i stuck my head out the window, asking him to repeat what was said, i was met w him getting out of his car w his hand where his gun is... shouting at me to stick my hands out of the window.... now see, you don’t know true fear until someone is threatening your life over the fact you couldn’t hear him... he got close and looked me in my face. the only thing going through my mind was that my girlfriend just landed in my city and parents are at home in bed asleep and i can die over nothing. he opened my door and made me stand to the side. he yelled at me for speeding when i wasn’t. when i said “sir my speedometer showed i was going 65. i know the speed limit is 70-” he continued to shout at me and say, “you don’t argue w a cop. you show respect.” you want to know what i said? “yes sir.”
luckily, nothing happened but me getting a ticket, but i was so distraught. so broken. i broke down in front of my girlfriend bc my life couldn’t have been gone.. over the fucking color of my skin. i could not have seen her again... my parents were fucking asleep in their bed... to this day they don’t know what truly happened that night bc i know it will destroy them knowing that their only childs life was threatened by the people who are supposed to protect her.
non-poc can/will get pulled over or have an encounter w an officer and they can fight, scream, push and punch a cop without being shot at or even fucking tased.
so, my dear anon, after reading my story.. after reading where i come from.. please tell me how i fucking deserved it. explain to me how i could have lost my life that night and it would have been justified.
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