he smiles less often now,

spencer williams, twenty two not in the habit of leaving people behind

[astrospencewilliams-blog]

clarkemitchell:

Clarke rolled his eyes but kept his smile. It was always funny when Spencer tried to move him, because he never really could. Clarke barely budged and instead put his hand on Spencer’s chest, about to push back. “I can’t do it,” he sighed. “You would fall over like log.” Pulling his hand back, he waited until Spencer had finished eating to stand up. “Maybe you should change before we head out. “Love the just rolled out of bed look, but it’s not functional for where we’re going. At least, you know, put on some shoes.”

“Hey! I resent that.” Spencer feigned hurt before he let out a soft chuckle, Clarke was probably right anyway considering how much effort it had taken just for him to sit up straight. Something needed to change, he knew that much. He couldn’t continue on the way he did, but he didn’t know who to talk to about it without seeming weak. It wasn’t Clarke’s problem and he knew he’d only worry his mother and Jefferson. There was Raven too, and he never kept anything from her but, it was an insecurity he wasn’t ready to deal with. Realising how quiet he’d gotten Spencer quickly finished off the food Clarke had shared with him and stood, patting his belly appreciatively before he rolled his eyes at Clarke, quickly running a hand through his hair as if that would solve the problem. “Fine but only because I need to grab my gear. Meet you at the gate in five?”

[astrospencewilliams-blog]

beautifulbaek:

Areum grew up with stories her grandmother had told her. She’d talk about the gods and how everything happened for a reason, that everything that was happening was part of a much larger plan. She took comfort in her words when she eventually passed away, thinking there was a reason why her grandmother had to leave her behind. When the apocalypse started happening, she finally figured it out. Her grandmother wouldn’t have lived long in a world like this. Maybe the gods loved her more than the others and took her to the heavens earlier. Maybe it was better that she didn’t get to see how horrible the world had turned out to be.

These days, Areum would take comfort from watching the stars, thinking that her grandmother is out there looking after her like she said she would. She wondered if her parents were there too. It’s been months since she last had contact with them. She prayed that they were safe, but at the same time she wasn’t counting on it.

She heard his footsteps before she heard him speak. “I was trying to figure out if there was an Earth-2 and what Earth-2 me would be doing right now.” Areum sat up and smiled at Spencer as he approached her, scooting over to give him some room on her blanket. “I haven’t had chocolate in centuries.”

Spencer knew Areum from school, and while they weren’t really close or hung in the same circles, they both shared a love of Astronomy. So seeing a familiar face like hers was a welcome change. He could sometimes pretend that they were just students again mapping constellations and reading any kind of Astronomy books they could get their hands on. It made for a nice distraction for however long it lasted. They’d run into each other more than a handful of times up on the roof, often having the same idea of just gazing up at the stars, letting the problems of the new everyday life they lived fade into the night.

“If there is we should hope Earth-2 you wouldn’t have to worry about things like walkers or having a hot shower.” He grinned and took a seat down next to her once she’d made space for him, pulling his knees up to his chest as he handed the bar over to her. “You can have it, I already snuck one for myself on the way up here.” It was a lie, he hadn’t had anything to eat since Clarke all but fed him at breakfast this morning, but he couldn’t stomach anything else. It just felt like dirt in his mouth and he’d hate to waste good chocolate. “In this hypothetical Earth-2 would we have superpowers? Because if so I’d love to be able to fly. That would be so awesome.” 

[astrospencewilliams-blog]

For once Spencer was actually glad that he didn’t have anything to do for the night. He was still too exhausted to have to be on patrol, but still too wired to try and get some sleep. Not like he would actually get any if he tried. Him and sleep weren’t exactly on good terms at the moment, and it had a lot to do with the nagging feeling that something bad was going to happen. Then again he’d had that feeling ever since the world turned to shit so he wasn’t sure what had changed. Of course, there was also the nightmares. The ones he hadn’t told anyone about. Not Clarke, not Jefferson, not even Raven. He was an adult after all, he wasn’t supposed to let fucking nightmares get to him. But they did, and that’s why he found himself on the roof of the tallest building in the compound. 

Spencer wasn’t Spencer if he wasn’t up on some roof at least once a day. Part of the reason he loved it was if he was high enough, he couldn’t hear the moaning and groaning of the walkers down below. Thankfully, this building was one just high enough. As he walked out onto the roof he grinned to himself when he saw who was already lying down, staring up at the stars. One of his own favourite pastimes. “Should’ve known you would be up here too.” Spencer spoke as he walked over to Areum, making his footsteps loud enough to let her know someone was there so as not to startle her. “Mind if I join you? I’ll share this chocolate bar with you...” He grinned as he waved the bar in front of her.

[astrospencewilliams-blog]

clarkemitchell:

Clarke smiled his best smile. “You have to eat,” he argued after Spencer’s stomach betrayed him, but didn’t push further. Spencer would definitely eat in his own time. It just worried Clarke. “An extra pillow can work wonders.” Almost a lie. Adding more pillows only gave Clarke the illusion that someone was next to him. But it hadn’t really helped. “We’ll try it and see, because this…” He reached out, gently placing his thumb under Spencer’s eye. “Is getting more noticeable.” Chuckling, he sat up some more when Spencer did.

It wasn’t a good idea for them to head out, especially with the other young man in the condition he was in, but for some reason Clarke found it hard to say no. “Yeah, we can do that. I think I found a trail out that skirts around the horde outside the walls. We can take that. If I’m right, it might lead us to another small convenience store. Something we haven’t hit yet. Liv says there are a lot around here but Gunnar doesn’t really like her or Vic leaving the grounds. Her makeshift map has gotten me pretty far though.” Sighing, Clarke slid the last of his fruit over to Spencer. He was pretty full and if his friend wasn’t going to sleep, he was going to need to eat more to compensate. Hopefully. “Fill up.”

“Yes, mother.” Spencer joked, laughing softly as he quickly finished his piece of toast and moved onto his pop tart. It didn’t get past him how much Clarke seemed to look out for Spencer, so he tried to reciprocate it as much as he could, just to show him that he appreciated every little thing he did for him. Spencer had taken a bite out of the pop tart when Clarke had brought his thumb to his face and playfully swatted his arm away, “Quit it.” He laughed, reaching out to shove him with his elbow.

“Sounds fun, I’m in.” He grinned, already perking up after hearing the plan and ate with a little more vigor

[astrospencewilliams-blog]

clarkemitchell:

Clarke had always been an early riser. He’d had to for sports or clubs, so even now, when the world was spiraling into chaos, he was up before the sun. It gave him time to get ready, waking from what little sleep he’d managed to get. He could even make his own food if he chose to. Sometimes. It all depended on what had been brought in lately. Today’s offerings hadn’t been much, but it was enough for him. He’d only been sitting for about an hour, picking at his food when someone approached him. Clarke hated people touching him but when he realized who it was, he immediately relaxed. “Morning,” he answered simply, watching Spencer sit down.

Turning some, he smiled. “Canned fruit, dry toast, and uhm, Hawaiian Punch. I think.” Without hesitating, Clarke slid over a slice of toast and an open Pop Tart pouch to Spencer. “Eat up. You look like shit.” He could tell that once again, Spencer wasn’t getting any sleep. And once again, Spencer was failing to take care of himself. It took everything within Clarke to stop from smothering the other young man and take care of him himself. “No sleep again?” he asked gently, keeping his voice quiet. He knew how hard it could be to function on so little sleep. Especially in these conditions. Reaching out, he pushed Spencer’s hair back before carefully pulling his hand back to his side. Another thing he had to remind himself to stop doing. “I can get you an extra pillow if you need it.”

Spencer briefly wondered where his family was, after all despite being up the whole night none of them had gone into their room and he hadn’t seen any one of them on the way over to the cafeteria. He figured Jefferson was probably with Victor, and Raven might likely be on the walls somewhere, but their mother? He hoped she’d gotten some rest wherever she was, he made a note to seek her out later. Spencer let out a yawn and grinned up at Clarke, “’m not hungry.” He muttered tiredly, immediately being betrayed by his stomach as it let out a long rumble. “Okay maybe I am.” His food did sound appealing though, much better than what he was used to out on the road, but sitting up and having to open and close his mouth sounded like a lot of work that he currently was not cut out for at the moment.

“Gee thanks for the boost.” Spencer snorted at Clarke’s comment, using his nose to move the food Clarke had slid over to him out of the way. He’d eat later, but the cool tabletop was oddly comforting to him, or maybe it was the company. Spencer hadn’t known Clarke for long, but he was the first one he’d befriended when he and Raven found stumbled upon the compound and they’d basically been inseparable since. He’d also been a good source of comfort and found that he’d taken down walls he kept up around everyone except for Raven and Jefferson. He’d quickly become someone he cared about and Spencer was glad he had someone like Clarke around, probably one of the only good things this shithole turn of the century had given him. “Nah, can you tell?” Spencer joked, his body shaking with quiet laughter, “I don’t think an extra pillow’s what I need but thanks anyway.” 

Spencer turned his head so his forehead rested on the table, breathing softly for a moment before he managed to push himself up and grabbed the piece of toast Clarke had given him. “Think we can head out today? I’m getting restless.” An exhausted Spencer probably wasn’t the best thing to send out into the walker filled wilds, but if he wasn’t gonna sleep he might as well try to be active.

[astrospencewilliams-blog]

Spencer was exhausted and that was putting it extremely lightly. He hadn’t been on overnight patrol and he hadn’t just come back from a run, he was just old fashioned tired from getting no sleep. It wasn’t uncommon for anyone in this day and age to not get any sleep, but he’d hardly been getting any at all. The most he’d gotten lately was a restless hour of rolling around in his makeshift cot trying to fall asleep, but all he’d managed to do was close his eyes which helped some. He’d given up on trying to get to sleep when the first rays of sunlight started filtering through the dirtied windows of the classroom his family had claimed as theirs. Annoyed and defeated, Spencer sat up and rubbed his eyes free from the sleep he didn’t get and pushed himself to stand.

Figuring there was no use in crying over lack of sleep, Spencer left the area they’d called the commons and headed over to the cafeteria, hoping there was something decent to eat. Maybe that would help wake him up at least. He muttered hello’s and good morning’s to people that were walking about, taking their raised eyebrows as confirmation that he looked just about as terrible as he felt. With a sigh he pushed open the doors to the cafeteria and felt a smile tug at his lips as he saw a familiar head of hair sitting at one of the tables alone. Foregoing food for the moment, Spencer walked over to where Clarke was sitting and ruffled his hair before sitting down next to him. “You’re up bright and early.” He grinned, his voice a little strained and placed his head down sideways on the table so he could look up at Clarke. “What’s for breakfast?”

[badgley]

[badgley]

Access Hollywood Lounge (January 11, 2008)

[astrospencewilliams-blog]

clarkemitchell:

Clarke scrunched his nose at the guesstimate. “Under two dozen?” he asked in disbelief. They’d seen bigger herds than that, but it was still too much for the two of them to take on right now, especially with bags of food and supplies. Maybe if they weren’t weighed down and not tired. Sighing, he shook his head some. “The older ones are slower, but there’s so many of them, it’d be tough to get far enough past them to get a head start. Plus the bags…” Trailing off, he leaned against the window some, seeing if he could pry it open.

“If there are, they’d be on the bottom floor. We should relatively safe getting inside.” Clarke smiled at him, holding up a gloved fist. “I got this.” Bending back down, he produced a rag from his backpack and wrapped it around his hand. “Step back. It won’t go flying everywhere but… you know… safety first.”

Without hesitation, Clarke smashed the bottom row of glass on the window and reached through, fishing around some until he had it unlatched. There were a few scratches, but he sighed with relief, no cuts or blood gushing. “See?” He just really wanted to impress Spencer. It was rare that they got so much time alone, especially since Jefferson had returned. With a grunt, Clarke forced the window open and knocked the glass out of the way. “I’ll go in first and make sure this room is clear.”

The bedroom he found as he slid into the room was nice and empty, and still furnished. Whoever had lived there had taken off without any of their possessions and he grinned when he spotted an open closet full of clean mens clothes. Two scans of the room showed it to be empty, and thankfully the door was shut tight. “It’s clear,” he said, sticking his head back out of the window just as rain began to drop down on them.

“You sound like my brother.” Spencer grinned and rolled his eyes but stepped back anyway, making a gesture as if to say ‘be my guest’. He faced away slightly as Clarke punched through the window, glad that they didn’t have to worry about the noise since they already had a party brewing downstairs. “My hero, ladies and gentlemen.” Spencer chuckled and shouldered the bag that had been thrown off his back when he’d been heaved onto the balcony. He didn’t like using supplies they hadn’t taken back to the high school already, but he was grateful they had something to survive off of if this little snag in their plan took longer than necessary. “Be careful.” He muttered, mostly out of habit, and pulled out his knife, standing close to the window and ready to jump in if Clarke needed him.

It had only been a few moments and Spencer had tried his luck at counting the heads below them again to no avail when Clarke’s head stuck out through the window. “Good, let’s go.” He grinned, taking his gaze away from the group below them and picked up Clarke’s bag, handing it over to him through the window and making sure Clarke was out of the way before climbing through himself. Once he had his footing Spencer stood up straight, avoiding the shards of glass from where Clarke had smashed the window.

Glancing around a feeling of longing had overcome him. The room reminded of his own, the one he had back home where he’d spent hours pouring over his walls and shelves, making sure that there wasn’t a book or figurine out of place, no poster in danger of falling down and creasing at the edges. He could barely keep how much he missed that life off of his face. This wasn’t a time to dwell on the past, today’s reality was that they needed to check out the rest of the house to make sure there wasn’t anything dangerous hiding around the corner. “C’mon...” He nudged Clarke in the side, his voice a little more strained “Let’s check out the rest of this floor before we start rummaging through everything.”

[clarkemitchell-blog]

Clarke let out a loud laugh that turned into a wheeze. “I’m fragile,” he joked, not moving as Spencer sat up. He had just sprinted across the neighborhood to make sure they got to safety and he was a little winded. But Spencer was right, they’d found some food. It wasn’t a bust, not entirely. They just had to figure out how to get off of the balcony and away from the walkers that were gathering below them. Maybe he could distract them? But Spencer would never let him take off one way to lure them away.

“I miss jam,” he finally commented idly, running a hand over his face. He was sweaty and tired and hungry. “We have to learn how to make some.” Sitting up finally, Clarke smiled at Spencer, lightly punching him in the elbow. “How many of them are down there?”

Scooting to the edge, he looked over and groaned softly. It was hard to count them but there were definitely too many to safely get past. “We should try getting into the house. It’ll be safer inside than just waiting out up here.” Clarke pointed above them, frowning some as the skies rumbled slightly. “Because that is about to open up on us and as much fun as a wet t-shirt contest would be, I don’t want to die from a cold.” He looked towards the house, checking the window out for a moment.

It was locked from the inside, he realized as he crawled over to it. “I’m gonna have to smash it open.”

[astrospencewilliams-blog]

“Fragile my ass.” Spencer snorted, eyeing him with a shake of his head before turning towards the group that was gathering below them now, arms outstretched as if hoping the two of them would be stupid enough to heave them up too. Ignoring them for a moment, Spencer’s gaze roamed this side of the street and around the house they were currently seeking asylum. The houses weren’t close together at all which meant jumping from roof to roof wasn’t a possibility. Rich people and their space. The horde below them were already covering the front side of the house which meant climbing down was impossible. They were definitely in a pickle.

Spencer chuckled at Clarke’s comment about jam, humming his agreement while otherwise occupied with trying to count how many walkers surrounded them. Too many for them to try and fight their way through, that was certain. “Just under two dozen I think. Makes me grateful walkers don’t know how to open doors.” He shuddered at the thought. They had enough trouble nowadays without walkers knowing how to turn a knob. Spencer turned away from them, wanting to focus on what they could do rather than what waited for them below. “If walkers were the clumsiest bunch out we could probably outrun them in it,” Spencer commented, craning his head back to look up at the darkening sky. “They’d probably fall over themselves and if we were lucky, break their legs.” He smirked, an unlikely thought but stupid possibilities are what kept him entertained.

Spencer rolled his eyes at the wet t-shirt comment and pushed himself to his feet, checking out the other side of the balcony as Clarke did the other. He tried the door and checked the other window to no avail, he let out a sigh as he dropped his hands back to his sides and nodded in agreement. “Hopefully there aren’t any hungry friends inside either.” Not that he was worried, they could easily take any stragglers inside rather than the ones below. “Rock, paper, scissors for whose hand goes through the window?” He grinned, holding his hand up in a fist.

[clarkemitchell-blog]

Things were going terribly. It had been a quick supply run to one of the newly explored neighborhoods they’d found recently. It had been checked out before by Gunnar himself, but of course Clarke would end up being part of the small team that got cornered. Without waiting for confirmation, he hoisted Spencer up, pushing him towards a balcony that hung above them. They were in one of the nicer neighborhoods, the kind that gave out full size candy bars at Halloween and competed at Christmas for best display. Clarke had hated those kinds of people growing up, but now he was glad for them. Once he knew Spencer was secure, he scrambled up the side, using drain pipes and whatever footholds he could find until he was spilling over the railing. Moving fast, he finished pulling Spencer over, thankful that he’d moved them both fast enough. Breathing heavily, he looked down, spotting the walkers as they got closer. The rest of their group had escaped at least. “So,” he said, trying to catch his breath. “You come here often?”

[astrospencewilliams-blog]

Of course simple supply runs that shouldn’t have taken them very long ended up being a run where everything that possibly could have gone wrong, did. At least everyone that had come out were all capable of keeping their shit together to stay alive, he couldn’t say the same for some of the people back at the school. He was grateful they hadn’t chosen this particular run to try and prove themselves.

Their group had gotten separated, something that always made his worry-meter go through the roof, but he knew that was the best plan for now. There were too many walkers for them to be running around in a huge group. He and Clarke were far ahead of a herd of them but he didn’t dare to look back, only finding comfort in the sounds of Clarke’s footsteps right behind him. He’d spotted a balcony that was reachable between the two of them, but before he could voice this to Clarke he’d already been boosted up, his arms gripping tight to the railings as he slowly heaved himself up. Damn him for never having built up much upper body strength even now.

Out the corner of his eye he could see Clarke climbing up the side of the house, and felt a sense of relief wash over as he’d helped heave him over once he’d reached the landing. Spencer let out an exhausted sigh as his back met the landing, his chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath. Despite himself and the group of walkers that were still making their way towards the two of them, Spencer let out a laugh and knocked Clarke in his side with his knee. “Shut up, dork.”

All he could hear was the sounds of their ragged breathing on top of the groaning and gurgling of the group below them, and once he had regained his composure Spencer sat up and folded his legs under him, surveying the area before he glanced over at Clarke. “Now this is what I call a pickle, or a jam... at least we scored some food in that last house we were in.”