Life on the hill with ASwa @aswacoloe-blog - Tumblr Blog

Evolve. Grow. Adapt. https://www.instagram.com/p/B15dk6yHsCSJC385lQ23j8RbGfApDogBSf3Bic0/?igshid=mg4qc9mwkb3t

I love taking pictures. https://www.instagram.com/p/B15bhFeHk8fheFbu69DWwoFfuSGaytmL5v_yTM0/?igshid=j8e6ixqtgzl4

May you remember this the next time you feel like saying “why me” or “why is this so hard” and may it change your attitude too... 🌹 https://www.instagram.com/p/B1L8JElHtCsPJRWPBhCojFYUMSQbu7dgqp54P00/?igshid=1bt97cen7bcg2

🖤 https://www.instagram.com/p/B1L7ZymnECIk1KkUDjUSCCHjGluWfiLOCy2c6g0/?igshid=t36q1nf52yso

Embrace challenges and pay attention. There’s no better growth. https://www.instagram.com/p/B1L65_Tns_6M3JsAuSNjgZii_CWTiZL7UEGxrs0/?igshid=r8mjtkt8svhb

The beginning

So I haven’t written anything in a while or posted even a picture and I’d always blame it on the fact that I loved my last post so much I felt I wasn’t ready to write anything close to it. Well after some soul searching I realized that the major reasons were procrastination, laziness and being afraid of never being good enough.

I cant lie and say that I’m unaffected by the way people view me on social media because I am like most people are but what I’ve come to realize is that people will always have an opinion over what you say, how you do things, what you eat, basically your life. It doesn’t make them right though and it is your responsibility to take in the right comments and let them build you and help you grow whether its criticism or just a compliment. it is not easy but definitely doable.

So now I’ve decide to be vulnerable, be human and do what i want to do regardless of peoples opinions. I am starting a soul searching journey and will post as much as I can about my experiences and hope that someone will read it and somehow get help themselves.

I am done procrastinating, holding back and acting like I am perfect. I will cry when I need to, scream whatever’, go through the notions and motions of this life keeping it as real as I possible can.

I am in my mid 20s, doing my first degree away from home (yeah mid 20s and first degree), battling being overweight, mending my relationship with God(I am christian but won’t force my beliefs down anyone’s throat), quitting smoking, learning how to love myself and put myself first when I need to, emotionally wrecked but learning how to feel things and express myself effectively... I am taking control of my life cause if I don’t no one will and to do that i need to put in some work in my life.

We all have dreams and aspirations but no one wants to put in the work these days, we just want to make wishes and they come true but that is not how life works. But before I can preach about that I need to be a living example myself. I hope y’all enjoy this journey with me cause I am excited.

Taken up a new hobby...

Lose Yourself.

♣️

Are you really ready for what you think you want?

So yesterday I got a marriage proposal from a certain Bachelor, one who ticks most of the boxes I tell you. Luckily it was fake and I found out 2 hours later that he was only joking but during the two hours of confusion a lot of thoughts ran through my mind. I mean I was thinking hard about this, if it was what I wanted, if I was ready to commit like that and other marriage related issues. Funny thing is that a couple of months back I was praying about getting married, thinking I needed it but after this reality check I feel marriage can check me in three years from now.

This got me thinking about a lot of the things that we pursue and think we want, do we really comprehend what it means for us? Is it really marriage that we want or are we just in love we the idea of being in love and companionship? This stretches out to that college course that you think will lead you to your dream career, that position you’re working so hard for at the office, making partner at the firm, getting the body that is deemed as perfect, just thee life thee perfect life. Is that what you want really or the feeling it gives or the look you get from society when you’ve accomplished it?

This issue is deeper than the items that we think we want, its more of a self issue than a matter of succeeding and being the definition of success in the eyes of the public. It is based on self awareness and self appropriate goals. Often times we pursue people’s dreams, yes people’s dreams. The dreams that everyone has for us and not really pay attention to our own happiness. I am a thick girl and for the longest time in my lie I wanted to lose weight for people because they thought I needed to and this led to me thinking I needed to lose weight. Funny I never lost the weight no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t shed a kilo. My heart wasn’t in it but as soon as I wanted to lose weight for me, to be comfortable and fit, I saw a difference. There was change.

Maybe this is what we need, to really think about what we want and what is suitable for us rather than being robots and doing as society dictates. Make yourself happy first, its true we’re going to have to make compromises along the way to get to the ultimate dream but you can not compromise with your happiness. Research about what you think you want, study it thoroughly then make an informed decision. It’s okay to want to be anything as long as you understand what it means for you.

Everyone in this world has a cup and a type of drink they like. Now the trick is to first find your cup and then the drink you like, you could like Scotch and your cup be a mug, ice tea from a plastic cup, coffee fro a mug, whisky from a wine glass hahaha. The point I’m driving at here is that we are all different and do not have to stick to societal norms, our differences are what makes us so precious. Find yourself, you will never stop discovering new things about yourself as long as you’re open to it. From now on make sure you’re drinking the right drink from your cup.

#troublesofayoungadult

The Big 23

So I turned 23 a few weeks back, yes the big 2 3. This actually the first time I am comfortable saying my age and this is because of the pressure that most of us feel at this age, especially us ladies. The emotions of trying to keep it together, being Miss Independent, looking for Mr Right (tic tic tic) and in the process trying to stay true to yourself. Trust me this is hard, I know from experience it is especially if you cant see where your life is going. Saying your age when so much is going on feels like you’re admitting to failure, which is not the case but it still feels that way.

I guess we’re never prepared for this, we’re never really taught about adulting and trying to find yourself in this big world/system. Its a huge jump from your parents doing everything for you to them disappearing on you and them saying you got this. What do I got? What is this?

Adulting can be hard but that doesn’t mean its impossible, matter of fact it is doable.I have learnt that I will learn everyday, some days will be good others bad but lessons are guaranteed and I am better equipped for tomorrow. First of all face each day will lots of energy, energy is good for you it keeps you motivated and hungry and that is what you want. Now energy is good but learn to channel it, channel it to the good things only. You’re more productive that way. Good energy is contagious, it’ll flow all around you if you keep at it. Stay true to the course, commit do it so hard life has to reward you for it. This ain’t much but it a start. Start with that and with time all things will fall in place.

#ItsOnlyTheBeginning

At a cabin somewhere in Swaziland.

#causewecoollikethat #ilovethisnigga

Nothing is harder than waiting... at least for the person that’s impatient. I love my God but waiting on Him is not as easy as praying. It is very easy to say “I don’t mind waiting” until you actually have to wait on someone or God. Faith is easy to preach about but hard to demonstrate. The outcome of believing and waiting is great but the period in between is long and not easy to go through.

Often times we misinterpret waiting, we think its just sitting and doing nothing when in actual fact it is less sitting and more praying. When God says wait, He actually means kneel and pray. Learn to rely on Him fully and trust in Him with no doubt at all. Life is easier that way anyway. If He’s asked you to wait do just that cause my God is faithful and He is able to do all He says He will. Wait on Him, He surely will pull through.

#Team_Jesus

Woke up today tired... Tired of the struggle tired of never having it easy I wanted to give up. The hardest part is looking at the many other options that I had but never chose which seem to be materialising for those that chose em and I'm here up the hill still struggling in what was supposed to be the best choice... But I remembered why I chose it and I have strength to go on now. #IChooseToBeHappy #IWillNotBeBothered

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