No , she said — No. Of all the people on this god awful ship , he had to spend the majority of his time with the one human being who knew how to stand up to him. A miniature woman who had a voice six times her size and a mind like no other —— a beautiful one that often pissed Kalix the hell off by asking all the wrong questions in the right times and all the right questions in the wrong times. She’d glare at him and roll her eyes at him , she’d laugh at him and she’d snap at him. Though sometimes , she’d look at him with a soft gaze and she’d smile or she’d laugh with him and she’d reach up and fix his hair.
No. Kalix shook his head as he felt the wet towel drag down his face and then watched it fall down to the floor. He lifted his head and met her gaze —— one that he’s never seen before. This was all unfamiliar to him. Usually , he’d wake from this nightmares and torment through them alone. Hugging himself , throwing himself at the wall , screaming until his voice bled the pain he felt inside. It’s all he knew , nothing was ever simple. He’d wake up wondering if today was the day , where he could take his blade to that man’s neck — and a stake to his heart so that Kalix could finally free his own.
Athena thought she knew what was good for him , as if going to bed would be of any help. He couldn’t explain it to Thadd or to Maeve or to anyone , he couldn’t sleep — he was afraid to wake up. Amongst all the pain that was welled up inside of him , his anger began to dissipate into a strange kind of emotion. His body began to slump and the tight lump in his throat began to swell. “ Athena , ” He whimpered , knowing full and well how badly he wanted to release it all — of all people , she’d be the only one who’d care enough to understand. “ — don’t. ”
Kalix closed his eyes and dropped his head as he leaned forward , pressing his head against hers and sighing softly. “ Don’t —— ” In his mind , he spoke to the demons that began to strangle him —— shoving the dark down his throat. All while his body slowly began to lean towards Athena’s. He just wanted her to glare at him , to treat it like any other day. And perhaps , he craved those rare moments of affection.
“ —— don’t go. ” He felt his defenses crumble. Who was he speaking to —— Athena? Johanna? His father? His knees buckled and he desperately grasped her arms.
Athena continued to stare at him, her lips in a hard line and brows furrowed-- trying to intimidate him back into bed. The compress on his head fell to the floor and an annoyed “hrmp” pushed against her closed lips. He wasn’t well. She wondered about this side of him, if it was just a symptom of the sickness or a darker part of him. The later was more likely... he was a pirate after all. A pirate with a past she knew nothing about. She could look past that, as she had for the whole of the crew, but what about Kalix? Was there something in his past that haunted him? Made him act like a feral cat who had lost it’s claws, hissing and hoping she would back away? Well it wasn’t happening.
Kalix looked like he was about to crumble-- hopefully onto the bed. He spoke her name and her expression softened. Don’t-- don’t what? Next thing Athena knew he was pressed against her, his head atop her’s. She lifted her head so her forehead was pressed against his nose and lips. He was heavy, but somehow Athena managed to keep them both standing. Don’t-- he said again. Athena reached up and touched his cheek. “I won’t,” she told him even though she still did not know what he meant. Finally he finished his sentence and Athena understood. He wanted her here... despite everything, he wanted her.
Then Kalix fell and Athena thought she was going to be crushed, pinned down to the floor. That was certainly one way to keep her from leaving. Grunting, she managed to grab his shoulder and shift both their weights so they fell back onto the bed with a thump. Athena panted, her heart racing and reeling from almost being smushed. “Really, Kalix?” she asked him with a raised brow. “I told you, you need rest and what do you do?” She reached forward to push strands of hair out of his sweaty face. “Stand around till you literally can’t stand anymore. Here I thought you were a smart man.”
Deep in her chastising Athena didn’t notice that she was on top of him, her legs straddling his waist. “You really think I would just leave you like this?” her voice was soft but clearly frustrated. “You have me so worried I’m going to end up sick-- again.” How odd that they were back here, the roles now reversed.