𝔸𝕕𝕞𝕚𝕣𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟 𝕚𝕤 𝕃𝕠𝕧𝕖 (Pt. 2)
Alastor X Singer!Cat! Reader
Summary: After your blow up with Alastor, you couldn't face him, it was hard to with the things you said. You were sure he hated you, but the way he treated you with every interaction started to make you question. A performance is what causes feelings to spill.
Warnings: Major slowburn, yearning from reader and Alastor, reader being avoidant, soft!Alastor, mentions of naked people (1), Hurt/Comfort, Fluff,
(This story was written with the same artists as last time :) )
After your blow up with Alastor, you tried not to talk to him outside of hotel duties. It was hard for you to talk to him when all you could think about was how much he could potentially hate you. Afterall, you did kind of insult him… and didn’t let him speak..
But you could feel his eyes on you. Always watching from a distance. He felt like he couldn’t find the words to explain. To let you know that he had a heart, as small as it was. He saw the way you carefully assorted things throughout the hotel, how you always hopped up to help Vaggie, Charlie, or even Husk around the hotel. The small bantering and laughing you’d share between the two made him absolutely jealous.
Even through all of this, you still wore the altered coat often, but way less than what he thought he would. Way less than you thought you would.
What he knew about you was all coming from the others. He’d somehow find the time to ask Charlie if you were okay. Charlie never questioned it, but she was a bit concerned about how long you weren’t going to talk to him. What Alastor didn’t know was that you thought about him every night.
You'd hold the jacket in front of you, staring at it with so many questions. Questions that you wanted to ask him, but were too afraid for you to properly ask him. You couldn’t even be close by without your heart wanting to jump out of your chest and throw itself at him, beating and all.
His voice hung in your mind like a reminder. That even if he was so close, he felt so far away from you. Never once did you voice how you felt to anyone, too worried it would get back to him.
At first, you thought about confiding in Cherri, one of the residents that didn’t really talk to him. But you realized how much she talked, and how easily he could overhear. You could tell Vaggie, but she would probably hint at it for him, and you couldn’t deal with that. Husk, even though he was the bartender therapist, you also worried if he would say something, seeing as Alastor owned his soul. And NIfty… well,, she’d probably let it slip in one of her rambles.
So it left you sitting, wanting to say something, anything, but you couldn’t find it in you. And you thought about talking to Rosie, but it was hard to reach out when you didn’t know if she’d answer as quick as you need.
Your evenings were spent sitting in front of the fireplace in your room, reading lyrics and rewriting them as best as you could. You tried to find the right words to put in a song, but it was impossible to properly piece them together with Alastor constantly on your mind.
Groaning, you threw your songbook to the side and laid back on the carpet beneath you, staring at the ceiling. Your thoughts were racing, mind trying to run with lyrics, but somehow they ended up relating to Alastor. It was almost impossible. It was like he was an earworm.
As much as you hated it, you ended up writing a love song. It was one that you had to get out of your system. It was absolutely exhausting with the way it just wouldn’t leave you alone. You knew exactly how it would sound, but you never once tried to actually test it out, worried Alastor would hear it. Sooo it just sat in your notebook, the pages being flipped as you tried to scramble out more songs.
After you finally(tried) to get it out of your system, you heard a knock at your door. Your heart picked up speed, worried it was Alastor. You just couldn’t face him. Not with all these feelings rushing.
“Are you busy?” The growl in the voice made you sigh in relief, knowing it was just Husk. Standing up from your spot, you walked to the door and opened it. You greeted him with a smile, one that was strained and emotionally exhausted.
“What’s up?” You asked, hand resting on the doorknob from the other side of the door.
“Charlie needs all of us in the lounge room, somethin’ about a trust exercise with everyone. I think it’s something she's trying to do monthly.” Your heart immediately dropped, realizing that you'd see Alastor there. It was all too much.
You looked at him for a few more minutes, “Is it mandatory?”
When you walked into the lounge, you weren’t expecting everyone to actually be there, all patiently waiting for everyone to come in.
You took a seat by Cherri, Angel, and Husk, three people you typically hung around. You could feel the way Alastor’s eyes bore into the back of your head, making your face heat up.
You talked to the three of them to waste time, Angel always asking some weird or fun questions, “Oh yeah! Have you written any more songs? I know you were talking about it the last time we hung out.”
Immediately you shifted awkwardly, “I-I did but it’s nothing special, I just needed to get it out of my system before it ate me up alive.” You tried to explain as simply as possible, not wanting to get into it.
“Ooooo, is it a happy song?” Charlie came about, leaning on the back of the couch, chiming into your conversation. You shrink a bit more at the idea of actually letting them know.
“Ah– No, it’s not. It’s just– It’s nothing special.” You hushed away, making Cherri and Charlie realize that you didn’t want anymore questions.
“Okay, okay.. But I expect to hear it.” Cherri hummed out, just before turning her attention to Vaggie, who was explaining what Charlie wanted all of them to do. They wanted everyone to at least talk to each other, share one thing about them with the person you haven’t, meaning you’d actually have to talk to Alastor.
After Vaggie finished explaining, she looked around the room, “Is that clear?” She earned a small nod from everyone, just before they decided to start pairing up. You first went to Nifty, wanting to try and make Alastor one of your last people to talk to. Just your luck, he was the very last one you’d have to talk to.
Standing in front of him, you looked at him with a bit of uncertainty, “There’s not much to tell you, I mean– You’ve known me for how long now?” You started, trying to avoid the topic of when he was gone.
“But that doesn’t excuse the 7 years I had without you, dear.” He hummed out, his mic being a support for his hands. HIs usual grin was still there, but it softened a bit as you spoke.
You rolled your eyes a bit, thinking for a moment, “Well, I became a local artist in Cannibal Town. For a while it was just performing whenever Rosie held a formal event.” You started, shifting in your spot as he watched you explain.
“Until, one day, I was recruited and got my stuff out to the town. It’s never gone any further out besides there.” You finished off, looking at him as you waited for an answer.
“My dear, it seems as though you’ve made yourself quite the name, haven’t you?” He complimented, the look in his eyes softening at the idea of you actually being able to achieve your dream. The one you had when you were alive.
You nodded with pink dusting your cheeks, ears flattening on your head, “It’s not that big of a deal. Just– something that I worked hard for..”
Alastor leaned forward a bit, watching you flinch a bit, “Well it’s certainly something that you hoped for, hm? Ahh, not once have I seen your hope falter, such a wonderful thing, darling.” What was with him today? Why was he sprinkling you with compliments?
“R-Right.. What about you?” You immediately tried to change the topic to something about him.
Alastor hummed at your quickness to change the topic. He thought for a moment, not sure what to share with you. There was a lot he hadn’t told you yet, “Well, just like you, or at least when I was alive, I had just about the same amount of hope as you.” He started, and you realized he was actually… being vulnerable?
“I spent a lot of my youthful years trying to host a radio show. I would audition, see if I could become something. It took a while, maybe a few years longer than I thought, but it happened nonetheless.” You listened intently, trying to make sure that it stayed somewhere lodged in your mind.
Alastor smiled at your interest, trying to finish off the story, “I became well known from where I lived, and as much as I dealt with some difficult runs, I still managed to keep that name for as long as I could.” Once he finished, you nodded, smiling a bit at the idea of Alastor in his youth, when he was alive.
“That’s quite the story.. I mean, I heard from Rosie that you had a radio show, I just didn’t know it was well known.” You hummed out, arms crossing as your tail swished behind you as you thought.
“I believe that’s it, right? Everyone we’ve talked to, I mean.” You looked towards Charlie, trying to get out of the room as quickly as possible. You didn’t realize how much you wanted to throw up from your nerves chewing at you.
“I–I think so? Is everything okay?” Charlie looked at you with concern, you nodded, smiling at her with a usual strain, one you’ve been holding for a while. Alastor noticed it.
“Yeah! I just have some errands I need to sort out, that’s all.” You replied, quickly trying to leave the room so you could head up to your room. You didn’t realize how much you were holding your breath.
You knew eventually Charlie would host some sort of event for the residents, and you knew that she’d ask you to be part of the entertainment. And as much as you didn’t want to, you knew you couldn’t say no to her. The poor girl would be so sad about it, and you couldn’t bear it.
That meant you had to perform a few songs that you wrote. And that also meant you had to play the song that’d been sitting in your journal for ages. You didn’t once try to sing it, but you knew that it would be better if it felt raw.
You put yourself together, what you wore was similar to what you typically wore, but it was much more put together. Accents of pink on your vest, black button up underneath, choosing a long black skirt, with dress shoes that fit comfortably. You shifted your vest a few more times before you started to work on your hair.
You were mostly humming songs to keep your voice warmed up, fixing up anything else on your person that you may need to. Once you were finished, you stood in front of the mirror, gazing over yourself. Oh how unprepared you felt.
Sighing, you walked out of your room and into the lobby, which was temporarily turned into a dance floor and stage. Everyone was dressed nicely, and you were relieved you didn’t feel out of place. “Not bad, kid.” Husk hummed out, holding a bottle of cheap booze.
You smiled at his sudden compliment, choosing to strike him back with one, “You clean up nicely, yourself. Seriously, I don’t think I’ve seen you this together.” You hummed out, hands folding behind your back.
Husk laughed a bit at your note, nodding a bit in agreement, “Got me there.” You smiled as you looked around, wondering if everyone was there. You knew that there were probably a few that were late.
“Charlie is lookin’ for you. I think she needs to have you set up things? Whatever that means.” He told you, just before walking off and towards the bar. You went towards the stage, where you assumed she was going to be.
Charlie greeted you excitedly, just before hitting you with questions, “Now, I managed to pull some strings with my dad, and he was also able to get these, magical? Players? They’re supposed to follow you with your musical thoughts so– Is that okay?” You saw how nervous she was for you, and you softened at that.
“That’s more than okay, Charlie.. I was mostly worried I was gonna go out there acapella style.” You joked, giving her a reassuring hug.
“Go have fun, I’ll be warming up.” You let her go, waving her off before you took another deep breath, choosing to take a seat and skim over the lyrics of your songs. You didn’t notice Alastor walking towards you.
The two of you still hadn’t spoken about the confrontation.
“I hope your performance goes smoothly, my dear.” He hummed out, making you shut your songbook with a snap as you jumped.
You let out a sigh of relief, realizing it was just him. Just before tensing up again, “Thank you.. I don’t think I’ve performed in front of a crowd like this.. In a long time.” You explained, hands folded over the book nervously.
Alastor sat next to you, almost inches away from you. “I’m sure you’ll be fine. You’ve always managed to do well under pressure.” You scoffed a bit at his words.
“I’m not like that.” You said, catching him off guard.
Alastor's eyes widened before he tried to rephrase what he meant, “What I mean is that you never failed Rosie with the tasks she gave you. Even if they were hard to complete.”
HIs words made you blush, a shy smile tugging at your lips before you pushed it back, “Shouldn’t you be watching over the party?”
He nodded, just before speaking again, “I should, but why do that when I can talk to you?” Seriously, what is with this guy?
You rolled your eyes, looking around you, “I’d like to talk to you later, if that’s too much to ask.” He started, the static in his voice fading, almost as if he softened.
He waited for your response, wanting to make sure you were actually okay with that. You weren’t sure, but your body reacted before you could comprehend, “Sure.”
You couldn’t even catch the words halfway, they had already fallen, and you had no way of going back now, “Good! I’ll see you shortly, mon chere.”
As he walked away you let out a heavy sigh, hands shaking as you covered your face.
Trying to distract yourself, you head to the bar, where Husker was serving drinks, he immediately started making your drink, knowing exactly what you needed, “I don’t think our singer should be drinkin’ tonight, but I suppose it could help you calm your nerves.”
You smiled at his thoughtfulness before nodding, “You’re right, on both facts. I don’t know if I can go on that stage without the urge to throw up.”
He snorted a bit at your words, “You’ll be okay kid, trust me. I think you need to just forget there’s a crowd.” He explained, handing your drink and standing in front of you.
Cherri chimed in as she walked over, “Yeah! Just think that like you’re in your room.”
“Or that everyone’s naked!” Angel hummed out, making you roll your eyes. You took sips out of your drink, the alcohol burning as it went down your throat. You stared towards the stage as if it was your impending doom.
“If you don’t mind me askin’, by the way. What’s goin’ on between you and smiles?” You stiffened, looking at him.
“Nothing– we just knew each other before he disappeared. I was Rosie’s little helper, nothing more..” You explained, just before looking at the stage again. You knew he didn’t believe it, but with the way you reacted, you probably didn’t want to get into it.
As time went on, you watched the people socialize, dance about, and drink. You couldn’t really find it in yourself to go dance. Your usual dance partner wasn’t someone you wanted to be around at the moment.
Before you knew it, you were backstage, humming out notes to prepare yourself. You knew that it was going to be difficult to perform, but nonetheless it was something you were asked to do.
‘I can do this, I can do this, I can–’ your thoughts were cut off by Charlie introducing you, making you switch on your smile and walk out with a soft wave.
“Good evening, everyone. I’m a local singer in Cannibal Town, and Charlie couldn’t help but see if I could perform as your entertainment.” You started, hands holding the microphone with a shake.
“Some of these songs were written when I was alive, and some were written when I came down. I hope that they’re to your liking.”
You paused, looking at the magical band behind you, giving a soft nod as if to start the first song.
It was just like the first time he heard you sing before, only this time his body relaxed, sipping the whisky he asked Husk to pour him. Your voice was like velvet to him. The way it was so smooth and soft, and how it echoed in the lobby. It was perfect.
“Oh how you amaze me so, darling.” He muttered to himself, eyes looking at you as you continued.
As you finished the second to last song, you listened to the applause you’d been getting all evening. At first the performance ate at you, but as you sang you got more confident. Just before you realized you had one more song to sing. One that you were dreading.
You let out a shaky breath, deciding you could at least say it was new, “This song.. It’s new. It’s been sitting in my songbook for a few weeks now, and a few people have been asking to hear it.” You paused, looking at Angel before at Alastor.
“It’s a song that I was struggling to properly write, or even come to terms with.” You finished, thinking a bit more before looking at the band again, nodding as the first few piano notes came out.
The words hit like a punch to the face. Alastor immediately picked up on the fact that it was about him. A song, written for him.. About him.
Took a flight, through aurora skies
Honestly, I didn't think about
How we didn't say goodbye
Just, "See you very soon"
Now he was sure that you wrote it about him. He knew exactly what day he was talking about. The last time he said goodbye to you. He didn’t say goodbye, he told you he’d see you soon. He could feel his small heart ache.
HIs singing just entranced him, he knew every word was a confession. A heartbreaking confession that you thought he wouldn’t feel the same. That maybe when he left it was all over, that you’d never see him again.
I shouldn't have, I wouldn't have
If it weren't for the sight of a boy
Standing out on Melrose Avenue
When you opened your eyes you were looking directly at him, eyes watery and full of nervousness.
When you finished, you were met with whistling, cheering, and clapping. A reaction you weren’t expecting. It made your cheeks flush with embarrassment. You said thank you and got off the stage, immediately wiping your hands on your skirt once you were backstage. You could feel the tears threatening to spill, and it was incredibly difficult to hold back. What a strange way to confess, and what a feeling it was that you felt as though it would be a rejection.
So, you spent the rest of the evening avoiding him, waiting until the event was over to talk to him.
As everyone retreated to their rooms, you and Alastor made your way outside, back to the same spot you had your last interaction.
You stood and looked at him, fidgeting with your skirt way too much, “A-Alastor, I–”
“I’m doing the talking this time.” He cut you off almost immediately, the static buzz completely gone from his voice.
Looking at him with shock, you closed your mouth, bracing for what he was going to say.
Alastor took a deep breath, and he was actually nervous to be vulnerable, “I waited so long to see you because I was worried that you– that you hated me.” He started, making your eyes widen. Okay, seriously, was he on something?
“Rosie told me everything.. How you left out a cup of tea for me, how you waited for me, like you knew I was going to come back.” His eyes glistened with truth, something no one ever got to see.
Alastor reached out to grab your hand, staring at it, “And how you turned my old coat into something of yours…” You looked at him, eyes watering once more.
He looked at you, like he wanted you to say something, but he had something else to say.
“That song.. What was it called?” He asked, feeling the way your fingers started to relax in his hand.
“Promise.” You said, swallowing spit down nervously.
“Who was it for..?” He asked once more, watching your cheeks dust with pink once more, ears twitching.
When you didn’t say anything, he spoke again, “I thought it was lovely.. I thought that you did wonderfully.” He complimented you, just like he had been.
You quickly got the nerve to tell him, “It was about you..” It was strained, like you didn’t want to say it, but had to.
When he got the confirmation, his grin softened and he pulled you closer. Both hands are now holding yours.
“Alastor, I have admired you.. F-For so long.” You started, voice trembling with nervousness.
“You always smiled, despite the things you had to deal with. You smiled through absolutely everything, and– and I thought it was incredible.” You continued, hands gripping his gently. You looked away from him for a moment.
You knew he needed to know more, how much you missed him, “I-It wasn’t until you left that I realized something. That– That it wasn’t just admiration..” You paused again, cheeks flushing once more at the thought.
“I thought about all the times we spent, all the bonding and the way we talked until it was 12am and Rosie was pushing you out of her shop.” You giggled at the last bit, remembering it so vividly.
Looking back at him, your bottom lip quivered, “I thought about how careful you had been around me, how truthful you were with me. Truthful in a way that Rosie didn’t even get to see.” Your breathing got a little shaky.
“I-I realized that it– it wasn’t admiration..” Your eyes threatened with tears, ready to spill at any moment. One of his hands left to hold your cheek, brows furrowing as he listened.
“It was love, Alastor.” You finally said it, the one thing you held back for years. One that you could have said long ago, but didn’t. His eyes widened a bit at your confession, not fully expecting you to admit it. But his heart warmed anyway.
You waited for him to say something. Anything. When he did, you almost melted, “Oh how I adore you so, mon amour..” He whispered, wiping any tears that fell from your face.
He watched as you nuzzled into his palm, ears still flattened, but tail swaying calmly. It was quiet for a few minutes. Just you and Alastor standing in silence.
“I know love is a strong word.. And it’s something that I’m not going to expect you to say, but.. I need to tell you, before I ever get the chance again.” You said, eyes shifting to him again, a hand now resting on the back of his. You shifted your head in his palm, pressing a soft kiss to his palm.
Even if he didn’t say it, you knew the way he was holding you and the way he listened was more than enough, “I know I may not be the perfect man, but I will always make sure you’re safe, that I’ll protect you no matter what. I will always make sure to treat you with respect, and listen when you need.. As long as you allow me to.” He told you, watching you smile into his palm.
You looked at him, removing your lips from his palm, “I’ll allow you for forever, Al.” His smile widened at your words, pulling you close for a hug. His embrace was gentle but grounding. You nuzzled your face into his chest, forgetting about the world around you.
Your admiration was never admiration. It was always love.
