something felt off as the two went about their morning routine . mafuyu was initially unable to put his finger on it — until after a bit more of observation , he'd realize that satoshi's movements were rather sluggish even after his cup of coffee . mafuyu wondered what to say , wondered how to check up on him when the two had a quietly cordial relationship —- however the moment satoshi turned his back to head to the door ; mafuyu recalled his own experience being sick , trying to handle it on his own but wound up so miserably exhausted trying to deal with it ... until kanade had helped him .
he wasn't sure why , but his heart strained at the thought of satoshi dealing with it all on his own .
before mafuyu realized it , he had wordlessly reached out to grasp at the other's wrist — tugging him back to close proximity , and pressed his other hand against satoshi's forehead . " ... i knew it . you're burning up . " mafuyu lets go , beginning to take satoshi's bag from out his hands . " hiwatari-san ... let's take the day off . even if you think it's pointless , you need to rest ... i'll take care of you . "
// i knew i forgot to send this ask
he makes a good show of it , he thinks . quiet hides the rat-like scratch trying to claw him raw to get out from the inside of his throat , and for as long as he kept his body carefully turned from mafuyu he could silently tuck away any evidence of his own half-murder by illness . it's simple : there was work to do . frailty couldn't be an excuse anymore than a dead mother could be when there was never any rest for the wicked . only fifteen and he had already fit himself perfectly into the modern machine , the act of an adult juxtaposed onto the lean figure of a child who had only been fed just enough to still have a proof-like pinch of fat in his cheeks .
can't it wait ? he thinks . the fever , the verbal dance of an evasive confrontation , all of it . couldn't it wait until he was dead ? as if even this wasn't still proof that some part of him was still alive , and fighting an uphill battle ; a lone , losing war . he had to hurry . he has to hurry . but his hand slips as he tries to separate himself from his supportive lean on the kitchen counter , and the pale thrust of it brushes violently against the clean , pure white of his set-down morning mug --- its pitch coffee contents threateningly lurch and ripple , just barely restrained from any disastrous spill onto the floor .
the words leave him with the strained force of someone forcing a command . given enough --- not to little , never too much time , things like this always went away . or at least they eased enough to return him to his duties in the present , things that he hated ; hated to keep in wait . his eyes shut and he counts the seconds until mafuyu's touch , cool , dry as a clean towel wiped across the growing hot sweat of his forehead meets him , and his eyes snap open to the blurred , faint shock of watching the other take his bag --- take the day off --- take care of him ...
' can i ... ? ' he asks mafuyu ; asks himself , his voice small , too small and uncertain with the dizzied , murmuring trepidation of someone who lacked any practice and wouldn't have known what to do . so logic becomes his invaluable : yet still against his every disinclination , the rationale's sound .
he wouldn't get anywhere like this .
maybe , then , rather the "pointless" than the utterly hopeless .
' alright . ' he finally relents with a hang of his head , the rest of his body feeling to wax and wane away from his grip on it , one hand that felt foreign nevertheless still heeding his direction of fanning out a few shooing waves . ' but don't stay too close . disinfect properly ... ' don't catch sick either , pools out the hidden ghosts of his concern . ' and my notes , if you could bring them to me . '
