This Mortal Coil

[audreykalman]

Beginnings and Endings and Beginnings

I'm saying farewell to this blog after 12 years, but you can keep up with me on Substack via my newsletter "Read/Write."

Today is this blog’s anniversary. Twelve years ago, on August 8, 2011, I made my first post and catapulted myself into the world of published fiction author by announcing my first novel. It was the time of blogging and Amazon’s CreateSpace. A time when self publishing still carried the stink of the vanity press in some circles. And when a new title was in competition with only a million or so…

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[audreykalman]

Am I D(r)ead Yet?

When I heard about The Dread Project challenge I decided it would be the perfect thing for me to try. After all, I'm the one who wrote a blog post in 2013 titled "Dread and the Married Girl." Here's my conversation--in letters--with Dread.

How I visualize Dread If you have followed this blog for a while, you know I’ve written a lot about mortality, finding purpose in life, and the intersection of those with art. I also find engaging in written dialogue to be a fruitful way to explore difficult topics. I’m back to share an interesting challenge I participated in related to all of these. When I heard about The Dread…

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[audreykalman]

Dread and the married girl

Dread and the married girl

You may want to head to another blog today if you’re in the mood for feel-good inspiration. What I offer here is a contemplation of existential angst, also referred to as existential anxiety or dread. I do promise some relief if you read—or skip—to the end of the post. One of the most distressing characteristics of existential dread (only slightly mitigated by the fact that Tylenol will alleviate…

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[audreykalman]

Have You Lost Your Song?

Here's the digest version of my #31DaysOfMusic daily tweets about rediscovering the joy of music, day by day.

Once upon a time, my life had a soundtrack.  The first album I owned was Meet the Beatles, which was already almost a decade old when I received it, used, from a family friend. I can only surmise the friend must have pitied me. Although our house overflowed with music, thanks to my father’s fanatical collecting habit, the fare was strictly classical, opera, and Broadway show tunes with a few…

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[audreykalman]

Breathing Saved My Life (Duh)

My latest blog post is about #breathing--not as something barely noticed but as something observed, cultivated, and attended to consciously. #breathwork #meditation

One of my most popular posts, to my surprise, was about my struggles with anxiety, in which I lowered my guard, just a little, around my private persona. This post is in that vein. So, if you’re here for reading or writing insights, you can skip this one. But if you’re interested in mental and emotional health, physiology, and the human condition, read on.  Of course, if I weren’t breathing, I’d…

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[audreykalman]

This Is Not (Exactly) About Mother's Day

This Is Not (Exactly) About Mother’s Day

My mother died in 2007. For more than 10 years after her death, I was unable to make it through Mother’s Day without getting angry. “F*** you!” I yelled at my computer when emails showed up offering Mother’s Day specials for brunches I would never get to eat with her. “I can’t ‘make her day unforgettable,’” I mouthed with a clenched jaw when a deal arrived on a bouquet of roses. “She’s…

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[audreykalman]

The Reader Question

Thoughts about reader questions, revision, and why I write.

Let us contemplate the question of toddlers and fools, of Socrates and writers. The question I have asked a thousand times in pursuit of a thousand mysteries. WHY. “Why are you…?” “Why don’t I…?” “Why must…?” “Why should we…?” “Why not…?” (more…)

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[audreykalman]

I do hereby resolve

I do hereby resolve

For someone who has sworn to stay away from the tyranny of the new year’s resolution, I’ve been doing a lot of looking back and looking ahead over the last few weeks. There was prepping for the most recent free class, “New Year, New Story,” for the Birth Your Truest Story workshop. There was my New Year’s morning list, where I daydreamed about every possible writing project I might want to…

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[audreykalman]

Patience. Perseverance. Persistence.

The theme of the month (or maybe of life) is… PATIENCE. Being a birth doula for almost two decades taught me patience. Sitting with a woman in labor hour after hour after hour. Rubbing her back, whispering soothing words. Reassuring anxious partners. Would that I could have the same degree of patience with myself when it comes to my creative work! But I can. (more…)

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[audreykalman]

My Summer in Seven Hikes

My Summer in Seven Hikes

I’ve continued my practice of putting one foot in front of the other, out in nature, since I returned from backpacking in the Grand Canyon. Every Thursday, I hike with a local group I found through MeetUp. I joined right before Covid and intended to train for the Grand Canyon trip with them, but meetings were shut down before I had a chance. My motivations for continuing to hike are many. I fell…

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[audreykalman]

My life in 28 pounds

My life in 28 pounds

Or: How hiking the grand canyon is like having a baby or writing a book I traffic in words, and yet words sometimes seem wholly inadequate to convey an experience. Yet I owe it to myself to try. I recently returned from my third journey to the bottom of the Grand Canyon. I made the trek in 2008 and again in 2012. This time was different. This time, no mules carried my supplies. Instead, I…

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[audreykalman]

Serialized fiction: opportunity or fad?

Serialized fiction: opportunity or fad?

A particular form of story popular in the Victorian era became known as the “penny dreadful,” which tells you pretty much everything you need to know about it. Often these stories, detailing lurid crimes or scandalous activities, were cheaply printed so as to be available for a penny to a mass audience. They weren’t intended to be great literature. (more…)

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[audreykalman]

Cat Blog #1: Challenge accepted

Cat Blog #1: Challenge accepted

Over the holidays, the cats and dogs got up to mischief. In particular, Ruby, the Springer Spaniel belonging to my good friend and fellow writer Lisa Meltzer Penn, sent a missive to my Tabby, Joshua. I almost didn’t let him read it. But then I relented, and of course, he had to respond. You can read what Ruby had to say over at Lisa’s blog. To whom it may concern: First of all, what is with…

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[audreykalman]

Ready to test your EQ*?

Ready to test your EQ*?

The autumnal equinox passed not long ago.

On the equinoxes and solstices, I never fail to think of my mother, who loved lengthening days and abhorred shortening ones. Although that seems an odd perspective on seasonality from a physicist, who, presumably, understood the inevitabilities of our physical universe, her attitude spoke to her humanity.

When the days are lengthening, it is…

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[audreykalman]

What's to celebrate?

What’s to celebrate?

There seems little to celebrate these days, and far too few ways to do so even if you have the inclination. Besides, the only kinds of parties you can have are those that happen outdoors, at a distance, or on a video conferencing app.

So I thought it might be time for a blog party. I last hosted onea little more than three years ago. I have fellow blogger Susie Lindau to thank for…

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[audreykalman]

Get ye some accountability!

Get ye some accountability!

ac·count·a·bil·i·ty: an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility or to account for one’s actions

Over the past five (!) months, since I have been staying home more than going out, I have developed a new appreciation for a sometimes-overlooked writing tool: accountability.

(more…)

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[audreykalman]

The intersection of here and now: a status update collage

The intersection of here and now: a status update collage

Ah, possibility. Which spoke to choose?

Words + art

Almost all of us, whether involved in a creative endeavor or not, find concentration elusive these days. Even those blessed with circumstances that allow us to weather the pandemic in relative ease are not immune from the world’s collective grief. And that is a hard place to be.

(more…)

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