cardiac arrest

august early. 19. natives.

[heda-cora-blog]

“Sorry August… I didn’t realize it was just you. Sit down.. what’s wrong?”

[august-early]

“Nothing’s wrong, I guess. I don’t know. I just don’t feel like being alone right now. What’s going on with you?”

[heda-cora-blog]

“Can’t I just have one moment alone?”

[august-early]

“Maybe I just need one moment to talk to someone.”

[mashhinyondo]

“It means… I hope I’m happy and haven’t made a huge mistake by coming here… Who the hell are you?”

[august-early]

“You don’t –– “ he pauses to laugh, looking down –– “you don’t get to choose to come here, dude. That’s not a thing. You sound like a fucking Lifetime movie. Oh, and I’m August. Not that you were really all that concerned.”

[demetrivines]

“Thanks Mate.” He said pressing his lips into a hardline as he took one out of the pack. “Okay, so I am easy to read. What do you want me to say? I’m fucked up, we all are. There is no use in talking about it.”

[august-early]

“You’re really not that fucked up,” he says quietly, though skeptically. “I mean, as far as I can tell, all the shit you’ve been through has just happened to you. You don’t seem screwed up in the head or whatever like some of us. If anything, you’re...I don’t fucking know, I guess it just seems like it’s all bettered you or something. Then again, I still don’t know enough about you, so. Whatever. Do you need a light, or having you been using my lighter the whole time these past few days?” 

[mashhinyondo]

So, This is it… This is Neverland? I really hope I made the right choice.

[august-early]

“Wow. What the fuck does that even mean?”

[ok-gidget-deactivated20150829]

“Tiny? Fuck off, my name is Gidget. You are, aren’t you? From idiot America? The land of freedom and heart attacks, yeash?” She huffed, tucking her vibrant hair behind an ear and seriously wondering why she was still talking to this tosser.

[august-early]

“Fuck, you Brits are awful. But entertaining as hell, honestly.” He’s unmoving, hands crossed over his chest. This is a little too fun for him.

[demetrivines]

“I’m fine.” He says almost too quick. “You can go now. God knows you want to leave mate and I’m not going to stop you.” He muttered taking a step back his hands being shoved into his pocket to pull out a cigarette, only to realize he had none on him. “Fucking hell.” He cursed under his breath throwing the empty carton on the floor. 

[august-early]

“I don’t think you realize how fucking easy you are to read, man. I mean, seriously, you...” he lets the words taper off, not feeling it necessary to start insulting him, even if it’s what he’s accustomed to doing. He stares for a short moment before pulling out his own pack, holding it out. “Take one, it’s cool.”

[demetrivines]

“Yeah yeah whatever.” He said now lost in his own mind to even care about anything at this point. His mind was swirling and all he could think about was him. And it was likely that he would break down at any moment.

[august-early]

He’s about to go off on another tangent when he picks up on the boy’s unsettling distance from the conversation. His stomach twists, having seen himself in the same position too many times before. He leans his weight against a tree and ducks his head down to try and make eye contact with Demetri. “Yo, dude, you good?”

[demetrivines]

“Fine. I’ve  never been happy.” He said “At least I can’t remember what it feels like.” He paused no that is a lie. “I got a glimpse of it for a while, but it’s gone now.”

[august-early]

“Yikes. That’s some depressing shit. But, whatever, I know what you mean. Kinda figure at this point life’s not really about being happy, you know? At least, it’s impossible to be in that constant state unless you’re on serious drugs or whatever. Anyway, I’m fucking rambling. I should probably go or something, Kala’s getting all up my ass about me hanging out with you. Not that it’s, you know...my fault, though. Can’t blame you. Seriously. I’m great.”

[demetrivines]

“I’m not sad.” He said clearing his throat.

[august-early]

“Really? Because you rarely ever smile, or make jokes, or try to relate to anyone, or really anything that generally evidences any type of happiness.”

[ok-gidget-deactivated20150829]

“You can go soak your manners. And your head, you paint sniffing Yankee. What’s the point, now that I’m the new girl you’re going to braid my hair and sing Kumbaya? Bull shit, isn’t it? But, I’m actually a really fucking lovely person, so we can start over with you acting like a fully evolved human being.” 

Once she was done berating him, Gidget huffed away the rest of her irritation, crossing her arms and standing firmly in her original spot. She would teach this punk manners if it took all week. Clearly, people underestimated the eldest of seven siblings on her abilities to step up and mom-school anybody in her path.

[august-early]

He’s a little impressed by her temerity; on a better day, he’d probably grow to appreciate her for it. Just. Not today. His mood’s far too sour. “Damn, Tiny. You done now? And did you just call me a Yankee?”

[ok-gidget-deactivated20150829]

“Sod off, you bloody wanker. I’ve had the worst week of my fucking life, get over it. There is ample room to either side of me. Ample!”

[august-early]

“Not to change the subject or anything, but is it just a thing now that all British people are annoying as all fuck? Because first there’s Fox, then that fucking Demetri kid, now you. I don’t get it.” He’s about to move past her when he actually looks at her this time, and squints in realization. “Oh, you’re new, aren’t you? Well, fuck me, my manners are terrible. I mean, I still think you’re annoying, but excuse my shitty manners. Honest.”

[ok-gidget-deactivated20150829]

“There’s someone behind me, isn’t there? Because I know you can’t be talking that crap to me, mate.” 

[august-early]

“Holy fuck, seriously? I’m looking you right in the eyes. Now move the fuck over.”

[demetrivines]

“Maybe. I don’t know why I am here.”

[august-early]

“Okay, what’s the deal? Why are you so fucking sad all the time?”

[demetrivines]

“Yeah.” He said pressing his lips together. 

[august-early]

“And that’s why you’re here, right? Because of him.” His tone is flat, dulling his genuine curiosity.

[demetrivines]

“His name was Jay. I accidentally helped him when he was on the run from the cops. He took me in and I did everything he told me to do.”

[august-early]

He’s silent for a moment, having not expected the boy to open up so suddenly. “Um...so that’s him, right? The guy you’re in love with or whatever.”

[demetrivines]

“Oh yeah sorry.” He said reaching into his pocket to hand the male his lighter careful not to touch him. “Yeah, we. Me and the guy that broke me out of the system.”

[august-early]

“Thanks. But you’re not gonna tell me about him, right? ‘Cause it makes you sad.”