ed’s primary love language is words of affirmation. he honestly will not pick up on your feelings unless you straight up tell him. in doing research on this, one of the sites mentioned that, “ the whole ‘ they should know how much i love them so i shouldn’t have to say it ’ approach won’t fly. they need to hear it from you on a consistent basis. ” and that’s absolutely true. this is clear from the fact that ed spends years wondering if al blames him for putting him in the armor body because al never says otherwise ( not that ed ever asked al about it, but that’s another thing ). in general, there are a lot of things he needs to hear, but a lot of times he doesn’t know he needs to hear them until they’re said. someone saying they’re proud of him or that he did something well would make him very happy ! on a different note, affirming his trauma works in a similar way in that it would make him emotional, but it’s separate from the other examples because emotional doesn’t exactly mean happy however it is extremely validating and something he needs to hear ( the PEAK example of this is when izumi tells the boys it’s okay to hurt ).
his secondary love language is physical touch. there are many instances in the manga and bh where he will rub al’s head or other small gestures, especially if he’s apologizing. one example is after he snaps back to reality following scar’s first attack ( bh episode 5 ), he runs over to al and gently cups a broken area of the armor with his hand as he asks if al is okay. another is when he pats the top of al’s head and apologizes for worrying him after he, ling, and envy reemerge from gluttony’s stomach. however, it is also clear that ed tends not to go out of his way to get physical affection from anyone during the series. the boy is extremely touch-starved, but it’s mostly self-inflicted. he feels guilty for having it when he knows al can’t feel anything, so he doesn’t make a point of asking for it — even if he may need it. aka please give this boy a hug.
CARING FOR STUBBORN MUSES. for when the person you’re trying to care for insists they don’t need your help.
“at least let me clean the wound!”
“you’ll be even worse off if you don’t let me bandage this.”
“i really think you need to see a doctor.”
“i made you some soup, and i’m going to sit here until you eat it. i can wait.”
“your feelings matter too! i can’t help you if i don’t even know what’s making you upset!”
“..i’m here if you need anything, okay?”
“stop trying to push yourself! you can’t do this on your own!”
“listen, i know you don’t want to, but.. maybe you should rest for a while. you’re not going to get anywhere like this.”
“i’ll make you a deal: i’ll just get you some bandages, and nothing else, and you stop making a fuss over it.”
“how long has it last been since you slept?”
“have you even been taking your medicine?”
“i know you think you have to get through this by yourself, but you have people here to help you.”
“let me take care of you, for once.”
“you’re gonna hurt yourself even more if you do stupid things like that!”
“i hate to break it to you, but you’re not supposed to do any strenuous physical activity for the next couple weeks, and if i have to personally make sure you don’t every waking hour of the day then i’m fully prepared to do that.”
“it’s okay to cry in front of me, you know. you don’t have to carry this alone.”
“stop trying to act like you’re not bleeding out in front of me!! this is serious!”
“listen, asshole. i’m gonna carry you home whether you like it or not. you’re not in any condition to get there yourself.”
“oh my god, why didn’t you tell me it was this bad?!”
so i just realized ed and al would be in my grade in modern times ( born 1999 and 2000, respectively, but ed’s a year behind bc of his year-long recovery from the accident that took his arm ) and that’s just too real for me yall
Since Hohenheim abandoned the boys and Trisha, Ed resolved not to do the same to anyone he cares about. Ed never wants to become like his father, so he went to the complete opposite side of the spectrum and is now EXTREMELY LOYAL, often to a fault. The direct consequence of this is that his first and most IMPORTANT loyalty lies with his brother; Al is all that he has left of his family, and he won’t abandon him for ANYTHING. However, if faced with a life or death decision, HE WILL CHOOSE AL over ANYONE else, himself included. He’s done that multiple times in canon — most notably, going through the gate a second time to bond Al’s soul to the armor not knowing what kind of toll he’d pay for the transmutation ( or whether he’d survive it at all ) and nearly allowing Scar to kill him without a fight as long as he promised not to hurt Al.
HIs loyalty also extends to his friends, though. This means if he considers you a friend, he won’t EVER leave you behind. Case in point: Ed says he’s going to leave Ling when he collapses in Gluttony’s stomach, but even though he starts to walk away, he comes back. He puts Ling over his shoulder and the torch in his mouth and keeps going with no regard to burden he’s placing on himself. In addition, once he’s deemed you a friend, he’ll stand by you through pretty much ANYTHING. There are also multiple of examples of this, like his refusal to believe that Ross killed Hughes and his belief that Ling must still be somewhere inside Greed.
Of course, loyalty is also easily EXPLOITED. The Homunculi used it against him by threatening Winry to keep him involved in the military and make sure he didn’t expose their plans — and Ed straight up refused to tell Olivier what he knew at first because of it. This method ( threatening someone Ed cares about ) is the easiest way to get him to do what you want, but it’s also bound to make him hold a STRONG GRUDGE against you. The entire time he’s complying he’ll be trying to think of a loophole, a way out, and you DON’T want to be there when he finds it.
@lightfled asked: it's been a while since the promised day --- a good while . recovery has been slow ( the hospital had become familiar , too familiar , by the time they finally released you ) , but now you're both HOME . granny's stew , winry's fussing , den coming up alongside you as you lean heavily on your walker --- it really is home . and from where you stand , you spot blond hair sticking out from one end of the couch . an idea strikes ; something you haven't been able to do in a long while . the telltale thump of the walker gives you away before you round the corner of the couch , but it's only a second later that you turn and fairly flop on top of your lounging brother , ready to bear any scolding and whining that may come from him . because , if just for this moment , you can close your eyes and pretend nothing has changed since you were just little boys growing up in resembool .
He knew exactly when Al entered the room. It’s always been easy to tell since THAT DAY, though he much preferred the lighter thud of the crutch to the heavy clattering of empty metal. When he expected his brother to be in his field of vision, he turned his head in time to watch Al DROP on him unceremoniously. The air left his lungs in a huff from the sudden added weight. “ What the hell, Al ? ” he said, ANNOYANCE still cutting his words despite the breathless delivery. Then, for an instant, a bolt of concern shot through him ( why would he just COLLAPSE ? ) but it subsided as quickly as it came. There were no signs of distress from his brother, and there haven’t been for a while. He’s doing better now, Ed reminded himself. And it was true — Al certainly felt heavier than he remembered. That was a good thing. Well, if Al was doing well enough to be a LITTLE SHIT, then turnabout was fair play.
“ You’re getting real HEAVY, y’know that ? ” he complained, though his brother was nowhere NEAR heavy enough to cause him any discomfort and Ed didn’t make any move to push him away. He did, however, shift his limbs beneath his sibling to suddenly lift and flip him over so they were facing each other. Al was not nearly as FRAGILE as he used to be, but Ed was still careful not to be overly rough with his actions.
“ Good thing your big brother is PRET - TY strong, huh ? ” Bright smile ( with just a hint of a smirk behind it ) flashed at the younger as he adjusted his brother’s position on top of him for both of their comfort. His right arm lay across Al’s back when he finally settled, keeping the two of them in a casual embrace. The restored limb was long used to touch by now, but in quiet moments like this, it still remained a reminder of what Ed was willing to sacrifice for Al — and what Al was willing to do to RETURN THE FAVOR.
The disturbance caused by Al’s sudden appearance gradually faded into memory, and now it was like he’d been there since Ed had laid down in the first place. ( It was where he was MEANT TO BE, after all. The pair had always been INSEPARABLE. ) Even after all the months that’d passed since the Promised Day, there was a COMFORT that came with his brother being so close, evident as his breathing slowed into an even rhythm. Any complaints from Granny about unfinished chores would fall on deaf ears; Ed didn’t plan on moving any time soon.
I’ve wanted to write this for a while because I think a lot factors into the way Ed feels toward his father and how he acts around him. Regardless of Hohenheim’s intentions, his departure was traumatizing for a child as young as Ed, especially after Trisha passed and left the boys on their own. Ed isn’t one to share his trauma, though, and he tries to mask his pain with anger and resentment rather than acknowledging it.
I. FACTORS CONTRIBUTING TO TRAUMA
The most obvious cause for trauma was the simple fact that Hoho left without a goodbye or an explanation. A side effect of that was that Ed saw how much it upset his mom despite her efforts to hide it from him and Al. Then, of course, Trisha passed away, leaving Ed and Al on their own as young children, and their father still didn’t return for them. Prior to leaving, Hoho didn’t talk much to Ed and instead spent most of his time studying alchemy ( source: chapter 20 ). That in itself didn’t seem to make Ed harbor much ill will toward him at the time, but it certainly played a part in how he viewed him in hindsight.
II. TRAUMA INTO RESENTMENT
Seeing his mom cry when she thought no one was around was enough reason for Ed to harbor negative feelings toward his father for leaving, but then Trisha succumbed to illness and suddenly Ed and Al were really alone. And Hoho didn’t come back: not for Trisha’s funeral or for the boys. This left Ed to wonder why he left in the first place, which is where the fact that he didn’t interact with him much anyway comes into play. It was easy to think that Hoho didn’t like them or care about them at all, since he hardly spoke to them and then left never to be seen again. That hurt, especially since Ed, like any child, loved his dad when he was around even if they didn’t interact much. But he was already hurting over the loss of Trisha. It was easier to just hate his father for leaving and not caring for them than be hurt over it. After all, what kind of a shitty father didn’t love his kids back ? And why should he be hurt over someone who didn’t care about them in the first place ?
SIDENOTE
Speaking of Trisha’s death, Ed never really had a chance to grieve Trisha properly. Even before the boys decided to try to bring her back, Ed felt obligated to push his feelings aside and support Al instead. Then, of course, when they do start to pursue human transmutation, they shift their focus entirely to the future and don’t feel the need to grieve her when they’re certain they’ll be able to bring her back eventually. This is important later.
Going forward from here, Ed resolves not to attempt to make amends. That, too, is a defense mechanism. He doesn’t want to give his father the chance to hurt him, so he just refuses to let Hoho back in, lest he just turn around and abandon them again. This is evidenced when the boys are sitting by Trisha’s grave and Al starts to say things will get better once their dad comes home, and Ed responds by saying he’s not their dad, meaning he’s already cut Hoho out of his life and doesn’t intend to let him in again.
III. BUILDING A PERSONA
After he walked out, Hoho was MIA for over a decade, in which time almost all of Ed’s few memories of his father faded, leaving just the impressions of the emotions he felt / feels and the character he built up in his mind about who his father must have been. He must be a terrible father who didn’t love them or his wife. Otherwise he would’ve come back. Or at least kept in touch and let them know he was still alive instead of disappearing from their lives without a trace. With no evidence to prove otherwise, that version of Hohenheim became very much real to Ed.
SIDENOTE
As much as Ed has grown to resent his father, he never pushes this view on Al. When Al brings him up, Ed doesn’t hesitate to make his view on Hoho known; he will often say things like, ‘ don’t even talk about that bastard, ’ or, ‘ he pisses me off, ’ as a warning not to continue ( or else risk Ed blowing up over it ). However, he never tells Al he should feel the same way. This is very much a consequence of Ed wanting to protect his brother. If he can shield Al from the trauma of Hoho leaving, he fully intends to do so, even if it means disagreeing with Al about the kind of person their father must be.
IV. BREAKING CHARACTER
When Hoho finally shows up again, Ed meets him alone. This is significant because Al’s opinion and attitude toward their father is very different from his. Without Al to soften him, Ed has no filter on his anger — he lays it on thick. Chapter 42 is when we finally get to see just how much Ed blames his father for what happened: ‘ Isn’t [the reason she died] because of shit like you ’, ‘ You made her go through a lot of hardship ’, ‘ You don’t know how much work a single [mother] ... had to handle ’, ‘ You’re the bastard that left her ’. Hoho is trying to grieve the loss of his wife and his son won’t let him hear the end of it, mainly because Ed can’t believe that the man who left them behind would care to grieve her at all. It doesn’t fit with the person he’s built his father up to be. How dare he grieve Trisha when he abandoned her ? It makes Ed even more angry that Hoho thinks he has a right to be upset over her death when, in Ed’s eyes, he was at least partially at fault for it. Additionally, as mentioned before, Ed didn’t get to properly grieve Trisha either, so it really makes him angry to see the man who’s responsible for that ( i.e. if Hoho had never left, Ed wouldn’t have had to take care of Al and therefore would’ve been able to grieve more fully himself — not that he’d ever complain about taking care of his brother, but Hoho’s departure did force him to take on that role prematurely ) attempting to do what Ed himself wasn’t able to do.
SIDENOTE
As much as Ed would hate to admit it, Hoho’s words impacted him. When Hoho wouldn’t accept their reasoning for burning down the house and posited that they were running away from what they did, it really did get to him, especially after Hoho dropped the bomb that they might not have transmuted Trisha. Of course, Ed refuses to let Hoho be right about that, so when he goes to dig up the remains of their transmutation, he works himself to the point of vomiting multiple times in order to find out the truth despite Pinako trying to get him to stop and come back later because ‘ [he] won’t run away from this. ’
This inconsistency between the person he imagined his father to be and who he actually is comes up again when he meets Hoho in Kanama right before the Promised Day. Ed’s anger has not quelled in the slightest — he basically greets Hoho by decking him, makes it clear that he’s only talking to him at all because it’s beneficial to work together to defeat the greater evil that is Father, and later relays Trisha’s final words purely out of obligation. In BH, when Greed, Darius, and Heinkel push him about why he’s so angry, he eventually says, ‘ he’s not what I expected. ’ This is very much true, since Hoho is not at all the uncaring person Ed made him out to be all this time, as evidenced when he almost immediately offers Ed the chance to use him to restore his and Al’s bodies. Additionally, he was helping out the people in Kanama, and the residents knew him by name and seemed quite friendly with him. This also makes Ed angry because those people seemed to know him better than Ed did — but why ? Why would he want to be close with these people instead of his own family ?
The breaking point is reached on the Promised Day. After defeating Father, Hoho offers his own life in exchange for Al. It would be an equal trade, a life for a life. Ed shoots it down, but Hoho goes into a speech about how they’re his sons and he wants them to be happy and he wants the chance to act like their father for once. Finally, Ed’s emotions overflow and he starts crying. Hoho is the only character to canonically make Ed cry directly during the series, but there are a lot of factors at play here:
1. Ed is already highly emotional over Al. It’s important to understand that his biggest fear has just been realized — he lost Al again and was helpless to stop it.
2. He’s lost; he doesn’t know what to do to get Al back. They’ve been searching for this answer for years and he still doesn’t know. He’s desperately trying to think of a solution, and all anyone’s offered him in that regard is Ling’s Philosopher’s Stone, which he refuses to use. This adds a sense of panic to his emotional state.
3. Hoho offers his own life. Not just a chance to use the stone, like before in Kanama. He was offering his life. But no matter how shitty he thinks his father is, that’s still a life, and Ed won’t use it. This adds to the stress from the previous point in that everyone who’s trying to help is just offering impossible solutions.
4. Hoho’s speech shatters the persona Ed built up for him, and he can’t take it. He’s already so emotional that he can’t handle Hoho trying to act like their dad now. It leaves him confused and conflicted, and he’s not in any state to sort out his emotions. Maybe, deep down, he does care a tiny bit about Hoho even though he’s told himself over and over that he doesn’t. That pushes him over the edge, and he starts to cry before berating Hoho for daring to say something stupid like that.
TLDR ( because this section was long )
All in all, the inconsistency between who Ed thinks Hoho is and who he actually is causes conflict and emotional turmoil that continues to build up every time they meet until eventually he can’t hold it in anymore, which is when he starts crying on the Promised Day.
V. MOVING FORWARD
It’s important to note that, just because Ed got emotional doesn’t mean he’s ready to forgive Hoho for anything. All it means is that the emotions he was trying to repress finally couldn’t be held in anymore. Their relationship is still very much broken at this point. However, in the series, there really isn’t any interaction shown between Ed and his father following the Promised Day, so this is a bit of a hypothetical. I believe that Ed could eventually have a relationship with his father on the following two conditions:
1. Hoho works hard to mend the relationship and consistently prove to Ed that he’s not who Ed thinks he is. This is Hoho’s burden to bear, not Ed’s. Ed does not need this relationship and would be perfectly fine without it; if Hoho wants to make amends, he has to be the one to work for it. Ed’s a tough customer, and for good reason. Hoho’s efforts must be consistent because every time he slips up, he’ll be back at square one with Ed.
2. There is a significant amount of time allotted for Ed to become comfortable at his own pace. Ed has a lot of trauma associated with his father; it won’t all just go away because Hoho suddenly decided to start acting the part. It will be a process, and not a pretty one at that. For a while, Ed will still cling to his defensive mechanisms even if Hoho is doing everything right. It’ll take time for him to even just reduce his outright hostility, and even longer to reach the point where he starts opening up at all.
Of course, due to the fact that Hoho dies fairly soon after the Promised Day, there is no way they could reach the point where Ed is ready to build a relationship with his father before he passes. As neither of the conditions above were even close to satisfied, it is unlikely that Ed will grieve his father much, if at all, with the way he dies in the manga and BH. He’ll help and support Al through his grief if necessary, but he won’t have much to offer in terms of empathy, as he can’t say he feels the same way.
CONCLUSION / TLDR
Ed’s relationship with his father is a complicated one. The anger mainly functions as a defense mechanism; he channels his emotions over being abandoned as a child and forced to grow up and take on a caretaker role prematurely into anger instead of allowing it to hurt him. Over time, he develops a persona of who he thinks his father must be, but when he finally sees his father again, the person he actually meets isn’t consistent with the image he’s built up in his mind. This causes emotional turmoil, which he funnels back into anger until he hits his breaking point on the Promised Day. However, just because his emotions finally spilled over doesn’t mean he’s ready to forgive his father. It would take a lot of work on Hoho’s part and a lot of time in general for their relationship to even begin to heal, and in canon that simply isn’t possible.
DAMNIT ! Now is NOT the time to be spotted ! Where did the little runt come from , anyway ?! Edward Elric isn’t exactly the kind of person you wanna run into nowadays , especially since you’re not in disguise AND they all think you’re probably dead . That would be TRUE if the alchemist hadn’t chucked you into the darkness – you’d be surprised if your bite didn’t leave some sort of mark . ( Maybe you’d be better off if you were dead : humiliated by the very boy you now hide from . Coward — COWARD !)
But now’s not the time for reminiscing , either ; a flash of red that travels from foot to crown . Surely he can’t recognize you now!
UGH, what a WASTE of time. Hands shoved in the pockets of a hoodie ( one too plain and no longer fitted PERFECTLY to his frame, a consequence of his most recent sacrifice ), he stalked down the street back toward the hospital — and Al. Next time, if the military wanted to talk to him, they could come see him in the damn hospital room.
A FLASH in his periphery put him on edge, instantly dispelling the slew of complaints from his thoughts and physically bringing him to a halt. It was FAMILIAR in a way that didn’t bode well. His gaze followed the direction it had come from, and watched a figure hastily averting their gaze and making an exit. Damn it. Mentally apologizing to his brother for delaying his return, he clicked his tongue in annoyance and followed after it.
The man wasn’t particularly SUSPICIOUS, aside from his actions and that light. Ed certainly didn’t want to just rush into things, since no matter what his instincts said, there was a chance that this guy was really JUST A GUY. Good thing he had to bring the watch for that stupid meeting; it’d be useful now. ( Just ask for some ID, say we’ve been looking for someone matching his description as a witness for something. ) With that half-baked plan in place, he picked up his pace, walking with more intent toward his target, and called, “ Hey, wait ! ”
now that it’s mid-october i am happy to announce that ed and al ( @lightfled ) are going as bucky and cap for halloween and yes it was al’s idea that ed got really into after begrudgingly agreeing
kn/y verse details bc we’re in this bitch i guess asldfkjdf ( feat. @lightfled )
– the boys and trisha get attacked by a demon when ed is 11 and al is 10. ed loses his arm, trisha tells al to run with ed to get him help while she stays behind and sacrifices herself to give her boys more time
– winry and pinako give ed a prosthetic ( bc im keeping auto/mail as a concept despite time period lol it’s important )
– once ed’s recovered ( roughly a year later ), ed and al become determined to be demon slayers ( having heard of the profession due to their dad who left them years ago ) and they stumble upon izumi, who normally is against taking apprentices but made an exception upon hearing that they’re orphans
– after training hard for a year or so, the boys go to final selection. in one of the battles there, al sustains a spinal injury and ed spends the rest of the week defending him
– both ed and al get swords made, as the corps are hopeful that al will recover. upon receiving them, both swords turn a gold color. ed gets in an argument with the sword maker over whether he can give ore to his mechanic to add a retractable blade to his prosthetic; since al won’t be able to fight, he convinces ed to let winry take his sword and melt it down to use for the blade instead
tldr. ed fully enters the demon slayer corps at age 13 with his own golden - colored sword and al’s refashioned into a retractable blade on his prosthetic — when extended, the gold color of that blade contrasts with the gray steel that makes up the rest of the arm. while al still travels with him to mission locations, he doesn’t accompany ed on the assignments themselves and instead stays in local lodging while awaiting ed’s return.
note for interactions: normally i write ed as 15 by default, so he would have two years of experience at that point. ofc i am somewhat flexible with this, just let me know !
It’s like 2 hours past Oct 3 here but it’s still Oct 3 somewhere asdjasd All my past FMAday works were bittersweet so here’s one leaning on something happier (ish). I’ve been wanting to draw this for Mother’s Day but April/May has always been my dead months ;;
2014 | 2015 | 2016 | 2017 | 2018 | 2019
(Wow I’ve been doing this for 6yrs ;;)
i gotta say nothing cracks me up more than the thought of ed just NOT telling people he cant do alchemy after the promised day and simultaneously doing enough research with al to maintain his state alchemist status so the government keeps funding their travels
anyway stuff i should probably write about before i forget
- ult shield / carbon forms bc im a big nerd and it might be interesting to ppl i guess dfjdkj
- episode 5 and his mental state bc oofie i have Thoughts
- dad problems bc he Mad but it’s the Trauma lowkey
- automail recovery timeline
- post canon and associated salt lol
- izumi and sig bc we stan that found family
